I started a committed relationship with this girl about a month ago. I'm more of a hit it and quit it kinda guy, so I need some outside perspective here. This girl is fairly career oriented and I see her once or twice a week. We typically stay in and fuck like minks. This is good. My problem is the rest of the week, if I try to text her, she half the time won't respond for a few hours or the other half the time flat out won't respond at all. Calling has a similar success rate. I'm getting super aggravated because it seems like the only time I have any connection with her is when she's in the same room. We've only been dating a month. I just want some opinions. Am I right to be annoyed that she practically ignores me over the phone, or should I just relax and enjoy her when she's around? Give advice if you want, but I really just want to know if this is standard in a relationship and if I'm being a girl by tripping over it.

its quite common--girlie games--hard to get etc

In your case i actually think she may be genuinely busy SOME of the time--with the rest of the time shes just being a girl---they are weird after all

This is pretty typcical behavior but never the less it gets annoying really fast. It all depends on what you want out of this relationship. If you just want to fuck a few times a week than its not a problem. If you want something more than it will become more of an issue. You want what you cant have and by her ignoring you most of the time you will automatically want her validation and attention. Its pretty standard phycholigical effect which we can call push/pull or PNP(positive-negative-positive). If you want a real relationship than you need to explain to her that its not aceptable behavior. But you need to do it in a way that shows your not insecure about it.

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~Carmo~

Hmmm. Yeah, it's supposed to be a relationship. I told her about this before and she said she'd be more attentive. I think I'll bring up that she's not carrying out her end. If she doesn't correct it, I think I'll SHOW her that it's not acceptable by dumping her. I just want to be sure I'm not blowing it out of proportion just because it's something she's withholding. Sometimes it really pisses me off, sometimes I think I'm just trying to poke holes in my happiness. That's why I'm here.

Don't dump her yet. Just let her contact you 66% of the time.

I texted her three times over three days. No response. She was out of town for work, so when she got back on the fourth day, I called and was like "Hey, I was worried, what happened to you?" She said she was just working and didn't have time. I'm sorry, but if someone doesn't have two minutes to text you, they don't have time for a relationship, or aren't in relationship mode. I bitched that I'd never ignored someone I was dating for three days and she said she couldn't give me what I need and we should break up. It stung, but I agreed. She texted a couple days later hinting around about getting back together, but I stuck to my guns and said maybe down the road when she has more leisure time to put something into a relationship. Yeah, I could've just stuck with it, but having the girl always decide when she felt like getting together (which is all she ever texted for) felt like I wasn't being the man, like I wasn't leading.

I'm sticking to my original sentiment on this one. I don't care if you're dating the surgeon general, she'll make the time for you if she's really into you. Hope this helps somebody?

you shouldnt have answered her calls for a while

She made it clear she wasn't going to change. Ignoring her calls wouldn't have accomplished anything but delay the inevitable. I already punished her with my trump card, removing myself from the picture even when she offered to go back to what we had, and she still wasn't willing to do the extra work. Maybe in the future we'll be better suited for each other. More likely, we'll be dating people who meet our attention levels.