Friends Zone?!? Help please....



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PostPosted: Sat Mar 13, 2010 8:29 am 
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Joined: Tue Dec 22, 2009 4:50 pm
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Location: London, UK
Ok guys,

I've known this girl for about 3 months now and we have become very, very close. She's an incredibly intelligent and bubbly girl. I'm doing medicine at university and its very demanding. A relationship at this moment in time would knock me off the rails (i am already incredibly lazy as it is with regards to doing work lol), so for the time being i decided "nope, i'm not going to pursue this".

At first, i wasn't looking for anything really.
That was then, this is now.

In these 3 months I genuinely have developed a physical, intellectual and emotional attraction for her and would like things to get more serious (i feel shes worth it). The problem is, i think i may have actually fallen into the friends zone, but i don't really understand what qualifies as having fallen into the friends zone. (any thoughts?) Despite this, i do feel there is attraction displayed by her for me. She touches, fidgets, maintains great eye contact, and doesn't seem to mind playful fighting (even in public places). Even though we are really good friends I've always tried to avoid: complimenting at all (in these 3 months i've probably only told her that her hair looks nice) and giving her what she wants. On the other hand, she thinks i'm cocky and funny (sometimes i do this well, other times she thinks im about as humble as a pie lol), intelligent and i'm pretty sure she's physically attracted (I'm a nutrition and gym freak, i'm her height maybe a bit taller, but still quite vertically challenged lol). I've DHV (i play semi-professional football, musical talents etc.) and social proof (she knows I see other girls). But i can never seem to avoid flaking her, whether it be her txting me or calling me. She loves talking to me on the phone, and i like talking to her. We often end up talking about things she doesn't even discuss with friends she's known for years or her best and closest friends. Things that are very personal to her.

We go to the same university and live very closeby to one another. Therefore, i always end up going home with her, and i can't avoid her presence except on the weekends and even then we'll text and call each other.

It's finally got to the point, where i actually think about her even when she's not around and it's pissing me off! I WANT/NEED to tell her I like her or ask her whether she likes me, get it out the way, and examine how she responds. The fact that i genuinely like her now however, makes the prospect of rejection more annoying than it already is, and i'm worried if she says no, or "lets just be friends" it may make our relationship awkward as we will end up seeing each other almost every day without fail for lectures etc. and i'd really like to take things further.

That's that.
I'd say we're almost like a married couple just without the kino, kissing and sex lol (I feel there was a lot of sexual tension in the beginning, but it recently maybe starting to fizzle out).
I'd like to apologise for the length of this post, but felt you guys could genuinely help with your ideas if i gave u the full story. Any comments would be greatly appreciated.

Many thanks,
A definite AFC lol


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 13, 2010 4:59 pm 
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Joined: Sat Jun 20, 2009 7:45 pm
Posts: 166
there was a post on getting out of the friend zone i found and it read something like

1 make sure she knows your in demand
2 be phisical and say things that could be interpreted either way
3 slip it into the conversation that you have standards
4 tell her about one of your past gf and what she did really bad but for somereason she was really good in be

or a past girlfriend that was really good but bad in bed

5 tell her about the one pefect gf you had that you were absoulutly in love with but it didnt work out

6 goes with 2 which is say something like ohh that perfume your wearing today or just and item of clothing and be like really turns me on you wear that again i might jump your bones lol w.e then if she wears it again its s HUGE IOI


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 13, 2010 11:39 pm 
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Joined: Wed Jun 24, 2009 6:43 am
Posts: 1084
Meh, it definitely sounds like you're one of the girls, that's no good. I have a solid piece of advice and that is, DON'T TELL HER HOW YOU FEEL! This is useless to women. This will not build attraction and unless she's already in the same place, it will make things awkward and give you nothing to work with. This is a game over move.

Think about how you feel and find a way to SHOW her your feelings. Touch her in ways you wouldn't touch a guy friend, talk to her in ways her girl friends wouldn't talk to her ("that's a GREAT purse/hairdo for you" doesn't fucking fly). I've heard that after being friend zoned, you have to freeze a girl out for a couple weeks and come back in attraction mode to reset the way she thinks of you.

I'm impatient, so I would recommend taking her out on classic dates, dinner or whatever is typical in your area. You don't have to call it a date, but at all times act like it's a date. Open doors, order for her if you can; girls love that shit, dunno why. Really, all you have to do is change your own perception. You're already dating. Now act like it. Don't make excuses why it's not that easy, because it is.


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