poet1234

Well she's pretty rude when you are acting nice - when you act nice you switch roles. She just doesn't want you to act nice and when you switch to the female polarity ( freezing out etc more woman like behaviour ) she chases because that's the image she values. Im not saying she is gay(or maybe she likes it idk) im saying she complies to value and when you behave like most woman do she perceives it as value - her mind sees it as value. in other words... behaviour that most woman put up like freeze outs etc complies to her reality thus she perceives it as value.

she's only rude because she/you acts in a certain way , maybe because she doesn't value the relationship. she likes to take lead role but also sees paradoxal value. Maybe she has alot of guy friends or grow up wihout a mom, she does not want you to give your power away by acting nice.

Actually you are still in gaming stage and not really in relationship stage , she is still qualifying you with shit test and so forth. Like i said she want power in relationships but also subconciously dislike people who give their power away - she wants you to act like a PUA with the freeze outs and stuff.
My advice would be to not invest, just act like you don't have a relationship because it's clear she doesn't want to go exclusive yet. You have to get on the same level by thinking the same as her about going exclusive. She probably knows you want to go exclusive because you translated it through subconcious social cues.

Not to be rude but these type of girls often date assholes , they want to be treated like bitches, same like girls who tell you last of their 5 Boyfriends cheated so they hate it - but also are attracted to it. player type of girls ... either you like it or you hate it... reason they act like this is out of social conditioning by parents or previous boyfriends. do you see the lack of self esteem covered by rude behaviour ? she acts like a bitch .. .because she is a bitch to herself ... thus she is a bitch to a certain degree ... don't worry i like bitches as well especially arrogant ones and had long relationships with them, but when shit hits the fan they hit overture bitch mode. There is alot to it but the main mindset would be to not give a shit, don't take her rude behaviour serious - either bite back/pipe it back to her by imitating ( negging) or you freeze out., don't act like you have a serious relationship.

some people are just not what you expect them to are - some are frustrated some are bitches and some are very lose and open. there is no way to change her BUT do realize she puts up a non-authentic personality / role , people who act harsh are only covering up some of their emotional flaws - meaning how she responds to you is not who she really is right now, you are in gaming stage - your relationship is open for a reason.

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tipaj

conker has some good point
above not conveying enough value like conker said, there could be alot of things going on .... maybe her grandma died or maybe she was depressed or something or she was getting rid of her boyfriend.

you actually unconciously like people who treat you like this ... you respond to it, you don't like the easy girl i guess- or because you like to prove their behaviour wrong to get validation from it ? maybe previous relationship with similar behaviour ? well you do expect too much because you are probably emotionally involved to the outcome and you proabably give too much as well because she isn't giving you anything back. You find it strange ? maybe she is strange - don't expect anything from strange people.
next time don't respond to this behaviour, i mean keep it out of your mind in any way and just move on doing your own thing - right now you probably had a temporarily lack of authenticy which conveys lower value.

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yep i agree..
out of this mindset / thoughts you will get into argues anyway - don't get mad and understand she is less likely to trust you because of the previous episodes. Don't walk away don't feed her behaviour AKA don't comply to this reality she is having in her head.
the relationship is partly based on insecurity so DON'T comply/feed those negative thoughts. After some time you can show some emotions to a girl ... don't be this player all the time, you don't need your guard.[/quote]

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Hello,

After she dumped me because Im not as religious as her a few weeks ago. (As I reported on this thread earlier)

She started to contact me everyday on instant messenger.
She'd talk about stuff like she went on a double date, and started hang out with her ex.
She'd talk casually, and then freeze out.
And then that's the end of conversation for the day.

The funny thing is that, it's a consistent pattern everyday.
She'd talk to me casually around the same time of the day, and they she'd freeze out.

My reaction to that was just stay composed and focus stuff on my life.
However she still confuses me a lot. And everytime she freeze me out it makes me feel bad.

I'd like to know if she is playing games with me, or she wants me back, or she wants to make me feel bad or she is just a bitch who doesnt know who she is and what she want.

I'd also like to know what should I do in this situation? Should I engage the conversation more seriously so that she wouldnt freeze me out? Should I block her off and cut ties completely and move on?

And what measures should I take if necessary? Such as delete her from facebook and block her from instant messanger, or other related stuff? How much is too much?

ps. I still have feelings for her, but I'm trying my hardest to move on. I don't think I can be absolute positive that I'm taking the possibility out that we will get back together. But I also know that, relationship is much more complicated than just give her everything you got and leave the rest to God.

I want to be in control, and I want to do this right (or as good as I can and learn from it) with the help of the PUA knowledge whether if we do get back together or not.

(duplicate post)

To me, sounds like a typical situation of religion unnecessarily getting in the way.

Yes you will find I'm not very religiously tolerant, and while I won't outright "attack" anyone for it, I won't hold back my opinions on the matter. But in my mind if it wasn't religion, it could just as easily be something else. Basically I see it as one of many artificial, external things that can get in the way of the only thing that matters - primal emotions.

So she dumped you for that reason, but still has feelings for you. And this is obvious by the fact that she's trying to make you jealous - she wouldn't be doing that if she doesn't care how you feel about her.

So get the picture into your head that "Oh you won't agree with my ultimatim that we can't have sex till we get married - fine see you" "Oh hey I'm having a great time in my new life without you, I'm even getting back with my ex cause it's quicker, and obviously I don't have many options... anyway I'm too busy having fun, so I don't have time to talk to you even though I started it. Bye!"

If you go AFC on her, which is what this behaviour is trying to provoke, then she will have justified to herself that you are not worth dating and stop calling you.

You have to switch control over to you. This should be relatively easy because she always contacts you first. Flip it around - Awesome! Glad to hear you're having fun! Look babe I gotta go - I'm running late for a date. SERIOUSLY! Catch ya later." But make it real; don't be jealous and agressive; eg "oh yea? wel I'M dating a STRIPPER! *hang up*" instead - yes, get involved in the conversation, enough to let her know you're really listening and really onboard with what she's saying - laugh at something funny she said happened, etc. get into it, be happy. And be planning in the back of your head how YOU'RE going to end the conversation.

And then when you end it, she will be left wanting to know more about what's going on, especially if you only drop hints like that, not go into detail like she has - with the double date story and how she's getting back with her ex. Your date could be your ex, could be a stripper, she doesn't know anything other than you got a date. And as a bonus, she didn't cut you off, so you skip that whole feeling bad part.

I think you know there is only a small chance you will get back together anyway - being dominant and masculine is the only way you will have a shot at that chance.

To sum up, you have 2 ways to deal with this - be AFC and ensure she never contacts you again, or do what we know works, and project a fun, positive attitude that attracts girls and also show that you have a life, with options, which attracts them even more.

Update :

Her behaviour on instant messeger went from casual to aggressive and rude.

She'd make fun of me (not jokingly but seriously)

And then bring stuff out to reject me.

And act very indifferent.

And her behaviour is very different then the her I once knew.

However she still is the one who initiate the conversation.

While all I'm doing is stay focus on my track and dont respond to her provoke. (and end the conversation on my own)

I want to know if Im on the right track to not respond to any of her provoke.
Assuming if she later uses the soft and emotional provoke I should respond in the same way?

When should I respond to her? If never then what should I do from now on? (for a outcome that could bring us back together)

So what's she saying? Can't you be all like - What's the matter? Did I do something wrong? Weren't you the one that ended the relationship?

She's obviously not dealing with her emotions conflicting with her faith very well. And it's getting insanely obvious... is there anything to justify her rude behaviour, anything at all?

This is yesterday's log at midnight (she contacted me at midnight)


Heidi : hey
Me : Hey wut's up?
Heidi : not much, lol just got out of a raid XD (World of warcraft)
Heidi : whatcha up to
Me : I se
Me : see
Heidi : what about you?
Me : watching a video
Me : its about Taichi but its very humorous
Heidi : haha cooool
Heidi : btw
Heidi : shame on you throwing raging parties while your dad is away
Heidi : haha
Me : haha why is that
Heidi : haha
Heidi : i dunno
Heidi : your dad is away
Heidi : and then
Heidi : you throw a party
Heidi : i dunno
Me : lol anyway
Heidi : anyway what? haha
Me : oh
Me : haha
Me : It's gonna be fun
Heidi : lol
Heidi : house party
Heidi : cleaning
Heidi : XD
Heidi : lmao why did you invite me
Me : coz you're invited
Heidi : lmao
Heidi : thanks
Me : I invited all of my friend
Heidi : I'll check my calendar
Heidi :
Me : good for you
Heidi : lmao
Me : its gonna be a blast
Heidi : you serving refreshments?
Heidi : XD
Me : haha
Me : they can bring their own
Heidi :
Heidi : some host you are!!!
Heidi : I'm not coming!!!!
Heidi : lmao
Me : well, listen
Me : the movie just finished
Me : I gotta do some morning run
Me : ttyl
Heidi : lolk
Heidi : bye

As far as I know there is no reason for her to be rude. I always stayed neutral and friendly, while not responding to her emotional provoke.

i totally agree ..... duplicate posts suck

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AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
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i totally agree ..... duplicate posts suck

The girl is unable to handle her emotions when she's stuck in the past with her mind she just become or identify with her emotions and becomes angry.
She throw her angry garbage at you and tries to DLV you, to justify her emotions.
Her faith and her emotions are conflicting.

1. she becomes mad
2. she tries to attack you in a verbal way
3. she gets joy out of negativity

123 her religion is opposing those thus her unconcious and concious patterns are constant battling eachother out.

The personality you see .. the angry and rude is her present personality because that's how she acts to people with lower value ( she perceives it as temporarily lower value ). When you live up to other people and get self esteem validation from other people you turn away from people who don't have value at all ( you perceive them as having no value ) because giving value to lower value people is losing your own value considering the ego - that's why hot girls hang around with cool guys because they indentify themself with their enviroment - one neg and they are destroyed lol.

She identifies with her own emotions/mind thus she switches personality from day to day - you can say she had 8 different personalities ( emotionally) last few days.
All the negative garbage she throws at you if merely out of weakness and insecurity. she even identifies herself with her own religion like religion is her life, religion is merely a part and a suggestive part to your life style - you can say she is identified by her mind ; meaning every thought or judgement is perceived as her identity. The reason why she switch to you is because she tries to get value out of you , talking to you makes it better ( she hopes ) she is seeking external value like crazy because she is unhappy and uncontrollable on her own.

a negative person tries to get value by seeking confirmation of her negative reality.
here is how i am :me/the soul--- > mind is just a tool -----> emotion .. well it's not ,me but a tool

here's she :
she/mind ----> thinking/memory cause emotion --- > it's me

day 1: negative reality(thought identifying) ---- > seeking confirmation of negative reality
day 2 : insecure reality --- > seeking confirmation of insecure reality.
confirmation is value, muslims need other muslims to confirm their reality thus their faith - a solitary muslim would probably abandon his or her religion due social pressure/ conditioning and lack of social validation. people adopt things which make them more likely to survive, in muslim land you are probably gonna be hanged if you're catholic. jezus got hanged as well....

every day or minute her thoughts variate meaning she is suffering from her own mind, her mind has become her disease.
She is easily influenced and probably want sex , drugs or anything to cover up these emotional pains or lack of self esteems - at this point she conciously realize her faith isn't giving her the joy she needs. if you talk to her and you make a few jokes you make her happy for a few minutes thus giving in to her addiction of drawing value from her enviroment.

in short terms .... every convo you have with her is useless , you can't take her serious because her personality variates from minute to day. She will jump from dick to dick just to make you jealous - she gets satisfied at the thought of you getting jealous. What she would be doing or wouldn't is un-important , at this point she doesn't even know what love is or what she is.
this are the kind of people you don't want to hang out with.... they can do stupid stuff because they are identifying with their emotions and thoughts... if she has an thought of hurting someone guess what she will do - if these psychological symptoms keep developing of course.

don't worry she will abandon her faith soon, she just got into a reality breakdown and religion was part of that reality. to fight the breakdown she want to hang out with people form the past - it's easier to keep the pain instead of abandoning that pain - if pain is your identity you will get more pain ( temporarily of course) if you give up that indentity.

You adopt religion out of fear and out of lack of self created identity.. don't be mad i've been catholic and muslim but those religions create restriction of mind ( except certain branches of buddhism). if you really believe in god you can live without the bible anyway - god doesn't judge. God gave us freedom... try to enjoy freedom as well and throw the bible/koran away - because man made religions are restricting freedom.
lets say if judgement day comes and god will kill the unbelievers - as a believer i wish to die along with the unbelievers. because im above god at this point - judging is a weakness. i will die like jezus , the one every one worships - but i won't die at the hand of dictator the romans - but at the hand of dictator god. how screwed up does it sounds eh ?

i don't hate religion and im not telling people what to do however im not a big fan of religion - believing in a god is allright - however following man made religion is really superficial. Religions are dictated by your enviroment , or you are in a weak state and you can't find external validation/value to fill up your ego/lack of self esteem thus you apply the bandage called religion and the wound stays intact.
I tell most people they will doubt their religion when they are going to die, they will second guess and be afraid - the fear is just fear they already had 40 years ago and they thought religion would heal that fear - it only covered the fear.
Everyone fears death..... when you go bungee jumping you have fear, but you jump and after the fear comes extreme enlightment - as PUA you know what happens when you approach even tho you got AA fear.

Same with death.. you have to die and undergo the fear before you lose the fear - losing your superficial indentity and false self/reality is also a death in a certain way. My reality personally was broken down several times - my reality concerning religion through a suicide attempt along with supernatural manifestations, my defenition of reality concerning relationships through being hurt several times.
because your ego identifies with ''this'' reality which is a superficial base in the first place you fear death - you think you are your ego/thoughts/emotions thus reality breakdown is the same as fearing death. My english isn't very good and i never have learned english in school so i hope you get the message.

peace

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AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
questions about herbal medicine here-vp582526.html#582526

y382287, Heidi's exchange wasn't negative at all. It read like a player that doesn't really have much to say. She was being playful and non-committal; nothing wrong with that. The fact that she initiates this "safe" contact and continues to talk to you (even though you were pretty boring in that last exchange) shows that she's interested, but needs to be comfortable before being more open.

Well, thats a interesting thought.

Although it might not seem negative to a 3rd person,

As the ex who has been with her for 8 month, I know that she has never had that attitude toward me.

She wouldnt behave this way to her closest friend, so I don't see any point behave like this to me. It was her who dumped me after all. Not to mention I have not taken any aggressive measure nor even slightest thought of trying to start something.

All I did was get on with my life and try to live better.

No I agree with the other guy - she was just joking. "Lol no food - I'm not coming!" that's a joke. Come on. And I don't even think she realises you took it seriously - LUCKY FOR YOU.

Keep things positive and funny and friendly. Things will go well - but her religion thing will always be an issue. You can only see how it goes.

I think you are seeing things through darker glasses because of your emotions about what happened. I know what it's like - and trust me, I've looked over old chats in times of contemplation and gone - holy shit, how could I have seen that as negative, she was only joking! It's hard to see the jokes when you are just down on yourself.

Just be positive and independant, and focus on other girls. Keep her around as a friend. See what happens.

Hm, thanks!

I will keep it funny freidnly and positive, and see how it goes!