I don't know what to do anymore. I've been dating this girl for seven months now and I feel conflicted. When I go out now, I feel attracted to other women and want to hit on them. Meanwhile, my GF cant be a day without me, or else she gets upset. I've actually enjoyed the days when she hasnt been around, so I can just do what I want.
She is very clingy and is 22yrs old. I'm 28 and she always talks about the future with me and getting married and shit, but the more I think about it, Im not ready to do that. Maybe I'm just not ready to do that with her.
I really dont know what to do. Im very conflicted inside because this girl really loves me, but I dont love her back the same way.
Any advice would be helpful.
Thanks.

both of you should read men are from mars and women are from venus. Its a great book that can help you see your relationship more clearly. Its a super easy to read book that is powerful and hits home.

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Walk Hard

thats the book she mentioned I should read....yes it makes sense, in terms of what i read, but im still not sure if reading that is going to change my outlook on the situation....i just dont feel like i should be thinking about ending things or wanting to date other women, it doesnt seem healthy....its like she cant live without me and i dont know how to handle that....ive tried to break up with her before and it was a total disaster...i was a total bitch....i really feel helpless

men are from mars and women are from venus

about that book .... huge point when you don't put down the toilet seat after using the toilet...... really.

neh you are just looking at other girls because you keep searching for external things to make you happy instead of being gratefull for what you have. Dating other woman is the easy solution instead of fixing problems. Unconciously you know dating other woman won't give you the expectations you expect but conciously ( or with your ego or whatever) you want to get that validation from woman. OR you are just addicted to gaming woman .....

the clingyness could have many reasons , you are talking like a chode here with a midlife crisis, you don't know what to do anymore etc.

think of this ... if you are completely fullfileld with your own being and you are happy with nothing but your own presence ( happyness from within). you could have a relationship with alot of people even ones you wouldn't like in the first place. because if you know you don't need anything but yourself you won't force expectations on other people to fill up the gaps in your self esteem .
seriously what is the difference between another woman and this one ? she loves you ! i mean that's cool right ? i dated so many woman and had many GF and most of them were screwed up or coke whores. Right now i would love to have a GF who loves me and has her own things going in life.

don't know man there could be more causes. maybe she is so needy like you were needy years ago and unconciously you don't like that behaviour because it unconciously reminds you of the old you / the you with lower value in the past.
You have Lover or provider relationships
You have selfish love - external validation from a relationship

there are many things.. .you should try to find you what it is.
She loves you .... you don't accept her love it seems .... do you allow her to love you as much as you allow you to love yourself? meaning ; do you love yourself enough to accept her love ? if someone gives something and you don't accept it it's because you think you aren't worthy enough - if some homeless guy gives you 100 $ you are less likely to accept it out of moral reasons , because you don't want to correspond your reality to homeless people.

i had a GF and she loved me ( partly selfish love as well ) but i dumped her ass because i had my own unsolved emotional issues. i didn't allow her to love me because i didn't love myself enough at that point and treated her like shit.
right now and few relationship later i really regret the fact that i treated her like shit and dumped her because the only thing she did was loving me ( at least i hope it was) she was a good person. but it's the past so who cares .. im more in touch with myself and i attract good people nowadays.

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AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
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I think this sounds like a situation that many guys would be a little annoyed by, especially if she gets mad when you don't talk to her. I don't think it's an issue about looking at other girls as long as you don't cheat. If your going to cheat on her you should break up with her.

Two things

1) If you aren't happy in the relationship, don't stay in it just because you don't want to hurt her. That's just going to make you miserable.

2) Maybe you can talk this over with her, I don't know but from my perspective this would be something I wouldn't have a problem with. I love my girlfriends and don't mind talking to them or seeing them this much. In fact, I enjoy when my girlfriend is that into me because that is what a relationship is about.

I don't know what the clingyness feels like and I'm sure it can be overwhelming if she wants you all the time to listen to her and be there for her, if you aren't then she gets extremely mad, I can't stand that.

But like your posting here looking for some answer but the reality is you have to either deal with this or break up with her. I don't know if you can bring this up in a conversation and try to have her tone down a bit, that seems like an impossible feat but maybe it's worth a try.

I don't think clingyness is a bad thing unless its really too far. I mean if she wants to be closer to you then she might just love you and that's what most of this shit is about anyways.

Just make it clear that you aren't looking to get married anytime soon, you aren't looking to be that serious anytime soon but I wouldn't throw away something that might just be someone who cares about you a lot.

double post... sorry

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Walk Hard

If two people recomend something it is usually a good thing to do.

I will explain something to you that took me two years to figure out. It is complicated but I will try to make it as simple as possible.

Elbert Enstein said, "If you want to solve a problem, you must think from a different conscience than the mind that created the problem."

To me your mind has created this problem. Why do I say that? Because you are in the problem and you have your mind.

Therefore, you must pull outside resources to fix your problem. The reason why you are here asking for PUA help. I am offereing you a resource to change your conscience, as Enstien called it, but if you choose to ignore my recomendation then it is your loss. Although, I feel like ignoring the book because you "are not sure if it will change your outlook" is not going to help you any.

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Walk Hard

Ok dude my messaging thing is messed up and it won't let me reply so I'm just going to post the message on here. Here it is:

Well first off, from what you've told me it sounds like you really didn't do anything wrong.

Today rolls along, I apologize and everything is fine.

There's no need to apologize. What did you do? If anything SHE should be apologizing to YOU. It sounds to me like she is really emotionally unstable. She is being a bitch to you for no reason whatsoever. Perhaps she has some anger issues or a family problem and she is taking it out on you. But whatever the underlying cause for this is, it definitely needs to stop. You should talk to her about this. Tell her how you feel, and make it clear that you are not going to tolerate this kind of behavior any longer.

Granted, relationships are give and take. Sometimes you have to go places you would rather not, and sometimes she has to go places she would rather not. As long as its 50/50, that's perfectly fine. But if you are the one giving all the time and she is the one taking, then this is certainly not healthy.

It may be that you have let her have all of the control in the relationship, so she feels like she can push you around without any consequences.

You said you have highs and lows. This is with every relationship. However if the lows significantly outnumber the highs, then this is definitely not an ideal relationship. If neither of you are happy, then I would end it. There are plenty of other HBs out there who would really make you happy. Especially if her negativity has made you feel less confident, and have less self esteem. If she is bringing you down, you need to do something about that.

As you may have read, I had a similar situation. My girlfriend had some of those same issues. I made it clear to her several times that she needed to change. She said she would, but then nothing was different. So I decided to break up. It was hard at first, but when you get past the initial loneliness, you realize that you are much happier now then you were then.

As far as your concern with not finding another woman goes, think of it this way. Would you rather marry her and live with the shit you have to put up with, or spend your life alone? In my opinion you would be much better off alone.

You are also a PUA, right? Then you should have no problem getting another HB. Some guys don't get married until their mid-late 30s. My Grandpa got married when her was in his early 70s! You really don't have anything to worry about. Age is really irrelevant.

So it's completely up to you what you do, but if having a nice heart-to-heart with your HB doesn't fix the problem, then I would break it off. I hope this helps, and if you have any more issues feel free to message me.

Good luck to you man,

Ethan.

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In order to get something you've never had, you have to do something you've never done.