Dayghost
acting weird .... well you perceive it as weird because you are expecting her''regular'' behaviour. People change all the time there is no such thing like this is ''forever''.

She is distant tho, rarely kissing or hugging.... (my opinion ) i think you have less value in her eyes (temporarily), when you ask she will say everything is fine, woman never tell you what's wrong unless shit hits the fan.
i think you should act like nothings wrong , if she got a reason to break up she will break up anyway no matter what you do, actually if you invest more she will even push you away further.

nothing is wrong , don't be like a baby who needs a hug or a kiss - don't kiss or hug her when you don't feel like it. Don't be influenced by her behaviour, just say the fuck you want to say and just hug her when you want to hug her , don't give a shit. Because when you're changing your behaviour conciously she will suddenly notice it and you are not congruent to her reality- meaning she will push you further away if you're less authenthic.
I had moments in my life where i was like '' go away don't be needy'' i had periods where i didn't kiss or hug because im not needy.

when people are doing ok ... but im TOO OK , they often feel like they end to draw less value from their relationship, this isn't bad or good. just don't be needy..

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AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
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Callameister

PUA language : she put you in the friendship zone, when she asked about making out she meant you didn't do it. you didn't kiss close her ... you had multiple windows of opportunity and you've missed them all. when a girl agrees to date on valentines to she does it with a reason , she's just dissapointed and is not attracted anymore.

She is in your class and for that reason only you shouldn't be getting into her because when negative emotions arise you have to deal with them with her in your presence. She have been shit testing you alot.. she want to know if you're :
confident
persistent
in touch with what you want
refuse to live up to other peoples standard

You didn't kiss close which eliminated all 4 traits, when a girl says take it slow you shouldn't give a shit, because she doesn't want to feel like a slut which is understandable. You need to create plausible deniability by being 100 % confident, there is a difference between a romantic relationship and a real relationship - when girls are attracted they can't create distinction between those 2 because they are being lead by their emotions. You acted like a couple before making out, you were way too serious too soon and gave your power away.

you have not enough value according to her , that doesn't mean you got no value or that you are a shitty person. You just didn't perform the right actions on the right time , you didn't played the game good enough. you probably were emotionally attached since the beginning thus giving her all the power.

with the post relationship stuff .. by saying this you only showed you cared alot - again acting like it's a big deal and woman want a guy who is confident and who doesn't need anyone to make him feel better. however she put you in the friendship zone and you totally disagree, which is good as long you keep doing it, changing behaviour and opinions will do what ? : make you look unconfident. so stick to what you've done and don't feel bad about it.

the excuses she make.. you want to know the big secret ? she doesn't understand it either because attraction is a hard thing to analyze ,woman are unconciously performing actions thus they come up with reasons which are way off the road. if you will behave like a dickhead right now she will think she dumped you because you're a dickhead instead of her former thought ; indecisiveness - ''he's not the one, i think''. you cannot blame someone for something he or she doesn't udnerstand himself because those actions are performed out of ignorance.

you are already having fun and are posting pictures because of her , you want her to become jealous or convince her how great you are ....... you hooked up with other girls ''TO SHOW HER''. why in earth would you do this ? why in earth would you manipulate someone into liking you ? is that real love or friendship ? ask yourself this 'what kind of person are you - what makes you perform those chode actions ?

i mean i can see it's try hard - manipulation, like you've said she is not stupid so she can see it as well. if she isn't interested she won't check your facebook anyway and talking her into checking your facebook is again '' giving your power away because you give attention AKA try hard.

you are already desperate... look at this post ... you asking me on how to get her back. DUDE i don't even know her and i don't even know you , and you want me to provide you with a instant solution to win her back ? every action you will make with that girl in your head is likely to fail. everything comes out of desperation thus you will subconciously translate this to other people throughout your interactions. This is one-itis... you hypnotized yourself - telling yourself how great she is ... maybe she isn't that great and maybe she has 5 fuckbuddies over town YOU DON'T KNOW. because you don't have great energy and personality ? you don't need her. i think your best friend has good suggestions, there is no attraction and it's useless to chase her. You can make her feel attracted to you again but those practices use a enormous amount of skill and you don't have it because you fucked up in the first place. Second.. you probably get attached emotionally more and more untill you got a huge one-itis, it isn''t worth the effort. I would leave it.....
cause : self hynosis - she is perfect etc blablabla
solution : don't give in to your self hypnosis, there are woman who are much better.
long term solution : work on your inner game so that your mind will not perform such actions without awareness. i recommend you some inner game material , RSD blueprint decoded is a good one.

any contact you will make to her would look try hard , desperate - just because you are emotionally attached. i think you should listen to your best friend.

peace

_________________
AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
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Do you mean kiss closing her on that specific date or ever? Because I kiss closed her on the first night I met her. Well actually, she pretty much jumped on me :p Valentines day was no different. It was a few days after this though, she pulled away and began talking about being friends. That's when I said if that's the case, then it's over. And left. Which is the last time I've spoken to her.
If I see her around college I don't mind making eye contact, as long as I'm not the one to break it. If she wants to approach me and talk, that's fine too.
When didn't I kiss close? This was at the end of vday, at the back of my car. I already knew she is a virgin and has never allowed anyone go further than scoring her. I went to the next step and she said we need to slow down with the relationship, I gave her the freeze out and moments later my second attempt was successful. I don't mean to go into such detail but I don't want to get anything mixed up here. We talked about our relationship later in the night and agreed to keep things casual, which it already was I was scoring other girls. There was no hard feelings. As I say it was never anything exclusive anyway. It was a few days after this when she brought up slowing things down again though.
Ok fair enough. I may have been too emotionally attached. Never did I share these emotions but I dunno maybe I could have shown them. But I would never go out of my way to meet up or anything. It was always her who would skip lectures to come see me. If she said she was busy I'd always reply with something like "ok cool, might catch you another day" and she would make time for me. I was always making sure I didn't become attached. But I dunno maybe it wasnt enough.
I admit I didn't know how to reply here. It makes sense now, it looks like I made a big deal out of it by saying that. Walking away from her and saying "ok it's over" only made it dramatic as well. It was silly of me. I will stick to what I'm doing though, I really don't want to be just friends.
Makes sense, womens opinions about men do change very fast. I put myself in a tight situation.
The pictures I've posted are of my success in tournaments and general happiness with my mates. In fact I'm not the one who posted them, but was tagged in them by friends (facebook). So they're not there for her. But they do show I am as successful and happy since we broke up. I don't care if she sees them or not but they are there.
Your right, I am desperate to get her back. Therefore everything in my head IS likely to fail. So it wouldn't be wise to approach her, at least not without something prepared. Do you think if I gave myself some time to relax, think it through without the emotions, would it be ok to approach her?

Your right, attraction is very hard to understand. Because I've seen the guys she's scored (like I said, theres only been a handful) and I blow them out of the water. Not just my own observation here. I hear you on the one-itis thing man, but believe me I'm not beating myself up over this. I've been with loads of girls since and it's been pretty easy to get over her. But I'm tired of meeting common girls and this girl is different. Not perfect but fun. I just think it would be good to get back with her on scoring terms, nothing exclusive, for fun.


Remember it was vday night when she said she wanted to keep things casual, which they already were. We still fooled around, it didn't stop me. I dropped her off at the station and we ended on a high note, she went in to kiss me a few times before she left. My understanding from here was we were just going to take things slow. So after a few days I meet her again and at the end of the day she is pulling away saying she wants to give friendship a go for 2 weeks because she likes being single and independent (which I guess is the reason she has only been with one guy before). This is where it ended, from me rejecting friendship and walking away.

Have we been on the same page here? Some of the stuff you say definitely speaks to me, though. And I will check out that book man, cheers.

now that you sound more constructive and talk more in depth i can see what is up .. Well from my experience i have met ex Gfs who i had a huge one itis with, right now i can talk normal to them or game the mfor fun without becoming emotional attached - as long you don't bring up the past.

like the sound of it(right now ) you sound like a solid guy - you Kiss closed her and so forth , i think she was intimidated because a unconfident girl unconciously thinks she doesn't deserve a confident guy.
it's like you love your girlfriend more than she loves herself thusy you aren't congruent to her reality - she probably push you away further. a girl only allow you to love her as much as she loves herself.

same with the condfident guy, if you're too confident you will make her feel uncomfortable because she is (un)conciously confronted with her own insecurity - i had this a few times with girls as well. it's some kind of buyer remorse because you confront her and then she goes searching for a explanation she comes up with her own plausible theories. she goes back to the point she was attracted and you get a delayed buyers remorse - she regret her actions later because her emotions and thoughts are incongruent and not lined up( after some weeks.)

i know how anoying it could be ... after a few fucked up relationships you go out and search for persons who respresent your demands instead of regular coke whores - you look for personality and traits with deeper meaning. however when you find a girl out of 10 girls it's very disappointing when she pushes you away after some attachements/investing. she is not who you think she is she pushed her away out of her own insecurities ( probably )

another problem is that you're of a higher level, don't compare yourself to everyone - but your just socially and maybe spiritualy of a higher level, people will like you and think your cool but a relationship with them is little bit cautious, because they can force their lower frame of reality on you which you easily defeat, and that stimulates your ego - you get emotionally attached.

like the sound of it you can easily deal with this when you got those emotions out of your head. That dramatic move you made can easily be disarmed , next time smile if you make eye contact and it will be ok - she will invent her own reasons to reinitiate contact when you disarm it.

my conclusion

1. you fucked up by activating some thought from her memory , you still playd solid game tho
2. you fucked up because you were too confident, she felt intimidated because you confront her with her own insecurities.
3. she really wants to be single... not your fault she's not ready

i think probably a combination of 1,2,3

peace

_________________
AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
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You know, that post makes a lot of sense. I think I can definitely begin to rationalize the feelings I've had for her and where it went wrong.

I think it's probable that I was intimidating to her. Even though she comes off as self assured and confident in herself, she knows squat about men and relationships. I wasn't shy about telling her how much experience I have either when she asked (5 years more experience and only a year between us, as I discovered). I even told her, jokingly, that I could read her signals of interest the night we met

I should have known that there'd be problems when she told me she'd only been in one 3 week relationship, ever. I just continued building my value and attraction but as you say, that could be what scared her away in the end. She simply doesn't have the experience and possibly couldn't handle it. I did build a lot of comfort and rapport with her and I don't feel I could've done much more.
Are you saying this remorse comes during or after the relationship?
So I kind of wanted her first experiences to be with me? It was her inexperience that stimulated my ego? Interesting.
Some great advice, I plan on doing this. Cool and composed, unaffected by the breakup. That smile and eye contact should say it all really. Should I refrain from speaking unless she speaks first? I want to act as if nothing happened but I also don't want to go back on my word about not being friends.
Definitely no. 2 and 3 anyway. Could you elaborate on number 1 for me again?

Cheers

hi, im not sure if this has been posted before but i'll will have a go anyway.

how do we deal with other guys, or more specifically, other PUAs? Cos many PUAs are highly skilled at seduction (duh) and even though im not bad myself, I still have that nagging feeling that one day someone will walk up to my gf, do all his pua stuff on her and i would have make a cuckold of myself.

how do i make sure she never goes around around fucking/sleeping with another PUA?

pua or not pua if your relationship isn't solid chances are she will cheat with a guy, don't be afraid of PUA because you know what they do - be afraid of her friends because they are most likely to fuck her instead of some stranger.
i went with my ex-GF to some venues where you have alot of PUA's because it's the only normal club in this town, what i've noticed is that you can easily blow them out. just tell them : nice false constraint , nice body rocking, that neg is quitte obvious and they will be blown out. even if they don't know this terms you can neg them.

the most likely guys your GF is going to fuck are her male friends or friends of friends, male friends always try to destroy your relationship if you don't have enough value in a certain social circle. Don't be afraid of strangers because they are what they are - unfamiliar people , better watch out for the familiar ones.
i would not even worry about PUA's , even if you recognize them as a real PUA you can tell them you're one as well and they stop playing your GF, i've met guys who had equal respect for fellow PUAs.

and above that ... most guys have no inner game at all, they shield behind this routines and stuff , destroy the routine and they are done. guys with excellent inner game always adapt to any situation and are more dangerous and above that - they are just guys - not dudes with superhuman abilities.

_________________
AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
questions about herbal medicine here-vp582526.html#582526

Ok lode two questions..

1)Me and my girlfriend used to have sex 2-3 times everytime we saw each other but now we cant because sex is starting to hurt her after say 15-20 minutes. she has HPV I know your not a doctor but can the HPV be causing her pain? even though she has had it for a while but now all of a sudden sex is starting to hurt her.

2) How can I turn her on and get her wanting sex when were just laying around the house?

trappinu

yeah im not a doctor lol, i've been a sport teacher and i read multiple magazines about health/body and so forth. What i do know is that HPV can develop serious problems and can even cause cancer, condoms don't always help because your tights are exposed - kissing, oral,fingering etc is also infectious - but it all depends on the type and infection value.
she's probably uncomfortable about the subject but she really should see a doctor, it can cause certain warts and stuff which can really hurt during sex. If sex started to hurt more and more it could be a developing disease ...

Im not trying to scare the shit out of you but it all depends on the type and timeframe, therefore she should visit a doctor - i also recommend you to visit a doctor as well. i hope you have the type of GF that's open about everything because i had huge drama queen soap adventures of getting girlfriends to doctors.

2. ..... ummm now you know this do you still want as much sex ? i think you should get the idea of getting her turned on out of your head at least until you got the results from a doctor.

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AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
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Lodewijkp,

I'm in the relationship for over a month now. We have seen each other occasionally for 3 month before that.

The relationship is getting clingy. My gf tells me I'm too serious, like I can't just be laid back. I am laid back, and let her go anywhere she wants. She also calls me a stalker, cuz I get mad when she doesn't pick up her phone, so I just came to her home a few times. That is probably wrong, but I don't think it's that bad.
She is scared that I'm rushing things. I back myself with saying I want a serious relationship, but she says there's a difference b/w serious relationship and a serious person.

Anyways, what I'm really asking, is how do I change? Not the personality, I am what I am. But what could I do to bring the spark back, to make her close the eyes on everything else when she's with me? How do I make her want me more, because it's always me who initiates meet-ups....

Hey Lodewijk,

I've met this girl at Dutch Carnaval and played some internet/text-game on her. The second time I saw her, we ended up walking towards my house and ultimately getting into bed.
We didn't have intercourse, but I did make her come 3 times, using fingers and mouth.
But now she's going all "Oh, I love you so much. I miss you, I want you" etc. I read a text from her to a friend saying: "I love him so much. I just hope he likes me as well.." And I don't even know her! I just want her to be my fuckbuddy I guess.
The big problem is her thinking she loves me (which scares me, because we don't know much about eachother. What's there to love?) and us living 150 kilometers apart.
What do I do? I want to F-close her (preferably a lot of times), but don't want to go into a relationship. Just be friends with benefits.
How do I let her know that, without hurting her feelings? Don't want to scare her away. Do I just tell her after a few times of sex that it wouldn't work because of the distance?

@tipaj: Sorry for not waiting for Lodewijk to answer your question before asking mine.
Got a tip for you though. Don't be predictable. Don't call her too often. She has to be surprised when you call. Make her feel wanted, but don't make her feel essential to your life. That will scare her away, I guess.
(Haha, thinking about it, it's my situation turned aroud. I don't want HER to be too clingy.)

_________________
A man must be big enough to admit his mistakes, smart enough to profit from them, and strong enough to correct them.

John C. Maxwell

ok noted, yup, most dudes dont even have inner game at all, and where i live (Singapore), we PUAs are a closely knitted community, hence we have respect for each other and wouldnt game each other's girlfriends.

tipaj

it has (probably)nothing to do with your personality, you are just too needy. if you call - she knows you called and she calls back when she wants to call back, instead you visit her house like you distrust her and you need to see her.
if she is saying you're stalking her you seriously crossed a line, when you have a relationship for a few weeks or mb few months you can't visit her like you are married or living together. getting mad when she doesn't pick up the phone ? cmon why get mad - it's like you are telling her to pickup- stop being her dad. if you are mad at this you probably can't deal with other shit ( she probably perceives it this way )

I only would call and visit my GF if something bad has happened or there is something urgent. It's always you who initates meet ups because you value this relationship too much, and she doesn't. if you invest too much in the relationship and you love her too much she will push you away because she is having a different ideal on how a relationship must look like.

look maybe you are not needy or clingy but you are conveying it by performing these actions, she is basicly saying she needs some space so the easy solution is to become less needy. Invest less and love less it's very simple - you also will have more time to invest in yourself. you don't need a spark or whatever because there could be alot of reasons why she behaves this way - give her the space.
How do you make her want you more ? begin with not initiating meet-ups let her take the first steps because right now she isn't investing. Relationship comes from 2 sides, give the other side some time to reacts as well.

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Plans Inc.

just tell her you don't want a relationship ?
you can also tell her you don't want a relationship yet but you want to try it out, chances are you don't hook up tho.
ummm it's better to tell before sex ... Like the sound of it you want to use her for sex before ditching the idea of a relationship. She is probably a cling-on ( not from startrek ) they are insecure and don't have much in life thus falling in love rather quick - there's more to it but this is rudementary - i mean sex first or second day is ok... but ....falling in love ?

You were just the best guy in the club at that time - you had good game and won her over. why not date and get to know her ? if it's long distance and you don't like that you shouldn't get involved - HOWEVER long distance can have certain advantages if you don't like clingy girls!

reasons why you should tell her you don't want relationship before having sex :
1. Bigger chance you could be friends
2. You won't hurt her as much
3. You won't get stalked by a needy girl

from experience ... you will hurt a girl if you dump her after sex.. especially if you already decide you didn't want a relationship with her in the first place. Some of those people are good people, no need to hurt them.

peace

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AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
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You are absolutely right, it's that simple.
The reason for me being like this is because I got attached to her too quick, I think. Also, I am a very 'giving' and committed person and expect the same from her. However, you are right, I should give her some space.

A question. We've seen each other yesterday, we didn't fight, but we talked about the issues in an adult way, but then we dropped it, so we are still good. Alright, I'll work on the space issue, because I think you have opened my eyes.
So, there's an holiday(somewhat Valentine's Day) coming up on Monday, and it's presumed I'll invite her somewhere. How should I go about that? I want to invite her, but should I? What's your opinion.