Adventures of a PUA: Reading Female Body Language

I first ran across this article a few nights ago, after reading it I was left with mixed feelings about the overall confidence of his assertions. The article is here, read it along with my response below, and please, add your own comments.

"There seems to have been a lot written about body language in the past decade, I guess it satisfies our need to believe that we can know what another person is thinking.

Unfortunately, 99% of it is complete rubbish. There are almost no scientifically verified body language patterns, with wide variations between cultures and in different contexts."

Read more: http://www.articles.adventures-of-a-pua ... -language/

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The author begins by asserting that most, if not all of the body language indicators that are talked about and widely known are bullshit. He backs this up with the seemingly logical observation that there is too wide of a variation in cultural norms and social practices to be able to pin-point any universal indicators, this point seems solid. However, I don’t think that just because there are differences in social practice around the world, you can conclude that most body language indicators are useless. The study and theory behind this topic is closely related to the field of psychology, which we know, is not an exact science. Being just that, it does have its variations and wrong theories, but its ridiculous to dismiss the fact that when I’m standing at the bar talking to this girl I just met and she is fluttering her eyes, playing with her hair, and pushing out her chest that I shouldn’t observe those as a positive sign.

He then goes on to suggest that the only true way - which I would just call an ‘advanced way’- to read body language is to become ‘sensitive to their body language cues when experiencing or explicitly stating that they are experiencing a certain emotion’; basically saying that since the same set of distinctive actions doesn’t apply to everybody, you should pay closer attention to a woman’s body language because there are certain advantages to knowing when you have triggered a happy, pleasurable, desirable, or other positive emotion. I can agree with this, the only true way to ever read and react to another person is by actually being there paying close attention. Of course information in a book about Body Language won’t teach you how to read everybody you meet, that’s obvious, neither would “The Mystery Method” or “Magic Bullets” for that matter.

The author ends with the point that I felt left the article with a strong, logical, and very useful conclusion. “If body language is individual then this gives you a powerful tool of seduction, notice her body language when she is experiencing certain emotions (perhaps telling you a story) and you will have a physiological map of how her emotions are anchored in her body.” Well said, well thought out, and though I disagree with his initial part of the article, there is no doubt that what he concludes with is a useful and solid truth for all men to consider.

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I personally believe that body language does have subtleties that are distinct in different societies and that vary from person to person. But this is very similar to the way that all human beings that are physically and mentally fit communicate using languages, but different societies and languages will have their own accents and each person even within that area with that accent might pronounce certain things slightly different and some people say "toe-may-toe" and some say "toe-mat-o".

Body language has its subtleties and its slight differences from culture to culture, but due to the fact that we are all the same species we all have the same body structure and similar ways of thinking and reacting to things physically.

Speech is much more varied due to the fact that there are so many languages, but body language is universal. Just because I was born in Vancouver, doesn't mean I can't understand just as easily how Calgarians speak, and with a bit more effort Cajuns, or French Canadians, or people from France, or India, or Nepal if they all speak english with their various accents.

This is similar to body language, in that you might have to alter how certain things are expressed from on culture to another, but the underlying "words" are the same, just with an "accent" on them. Women in North America are going to be more expressive sexually than women from women from India, but the Indian girl is still going to show signs of attraction, but they will be more subtle, just as some regions will soften the pronunciation of certain letters.

Nae, body language is not universal. If it was, the study of body language would be less ambiguous, and become more precise. There would be an exact answer. Having said that, verbally communicating with someone is just as ambiguous. What you say to someone, may hold a different meaning to whom you're communicating with. How you say it, in terms of voice inflection and stress on specific words, will make an impact.


I think I understand what you're trying to say here, but it goes a little more deeper and complicated than a simple accent, that causes barrier to communicating effectively with a female. Here's a sentence, that has multiple interpretations:

What is this thing called love?


I hope you read the article. Just because we are the same species does not mean we will act/react in a similar manner. The article points out that everyone's body language is individual to that person. Put simply no one is a clone. What shapes that unique picture that is an individual, is a mixture of things, not just culture. Both physiological and psychological factors will influence the way they will communicate with you, and how you should communicate with them.

"The only true way to read a person is by becoming sensitive to their body language cues when experiencing or explicitly stating that they are experiencing a certain emotion. The language of the physiology is highly individual, situational and has a variety of different meanings unless it is repeated consistently in the same emotional state."

This is true to an extent, however a good way to do this, is to move away from stereotypes. The one thing that the author neglected to say but alluded to, is that becoming sensitive to someone's body language cues is that it is built up over time. Think about how well you communicate with your best mate, you can communicate with that friend both verbally and non-verbally quite well. But think back to when you first met them, and how awkward you were around them.

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Experience is the teacher of all things - Julius Caesar

I will give a short thought to this...

I think there are common body alnguage signs that you can read and that are almost universal, jsut look at any confidence guya nd look to any depress guy you can note if he feel good with himself only by the way he walks or stands.

In the other hand I totally agree some body language are personal signs,


I think the problem with the article is that the author took some basics like crossing arms is a sign of defense like a complete rule without noticing that most of the time if you cross you arms , you are bored or maybe your cold but most of the time in an interaction if your talking with a girl and she cross her arms you know she is not having fun.

In a nutshell:

I think there are a lot of universal body language signs , but there are some own signs and becoming aware of this personal body language signs will help you tremendously in your game.

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sometimes you just need to have intuition.

some people are better at reading others than other people are.

in my opinion the hardest thing is when you know a girl is a "natural flirt"

because you can't tell if she is just having fun or if she really likes you.

but body language for the most part is really obvious and if you can't pick up on it then you should start learning how to.

i don't care what science says.

a girl who leans away when you talk is not interested.

a girl who leans towards you is.

I for one believe body language is so varied and diverse trying to generalize ways to read it is almost pointless. Looking for subtle clues and reading into what people are really thinking is alot easier than you think.

I believe no matter what, what you think in your mind will be portrayed and projected in some way through your body. Be it through the subtle changes in your eyes or body language or tonality. The best way, i believe to control your own body language is to be aware that this can easily occur, your body will communicate in someway to the other person what your really thinking. So not thinking it is the best way to control it (and thinking it if appropriate).

I say be aware of subtle things that people do, but be careful when generalizing body language, crossing your arms does not always mean being defensive, it can be quite intimidating. And just like spoken word, people use more than one action to portray somthing, dont just look at their arm position but look at their breathing rate and posture. Put them all together and you will get the message.

But the point I want to make the most here is that almost all of us are born with an ability to read body language and understand it. One just has to become conciously aware of it. Trust your gut instinct often it is correct about that person. And like any skill you can have you need to practice it and therefore become better at it. Mind what your thinking and your sub concious will correct the subtle communicative actions of your body by itself, and be aware of the obvious ones (like folding arms, stance, breathing rate, eye contact).

For me I find the best way to communicate with my eyes is to think somthing while I maintain eye contact. Its very difficult to conciously control how you stare at someone, but thinking things will allow your body to do it all by itself

However i do not disagree with alot of the points in that blog. And its exciting to think I can take another persons anchored cues and turn it around on them.

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