She seems to be reaching out to you a lot for someone who wants to stay "strangers."

If you want to get together with her, do it. Don't ask permission, just do it. Tell her when and where you want to get together.

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Life is a game. Win.

Hey Medic,

I have this sexual crush on a girl I know, let's call her HB7,5. We have a lot of mutual friends, but we aren't close at all as friends - I don't even have her phone number. We ocasionally run in to each other at parties, and I always feel like I get DHV's from her;

Like at this New Year's Eve party where we both attended, she came to me and said something like: "This guy just said he had a crush on me in 7th grade, and I don't know what to say, he's making me really uncomfortable, you gotta save me! ", and I said "HB7,5 can I talk to you for a moment please? I really need to talk about something" loud and clear, so the creepy guy could hear it, and she came over to me, and was saved from talking to the guy .

I am a DJ, and she has seen my play a couple of times to parties where I was hired, so I guess that's a nice DHV for me. Furthermore, she knows I make music, and she seem to really like that.

The problem is, I have multiple times made out with her "semi-friend", lets call her HB6, and I have treated HB6 really bad, so I'm guessing HB6 have told HB7,5 that Im a jerk and a player etc.

Now here's my questions:

1: Can the fact that HB6 told HB7,5 that I'm a jerk/player work in my advantage of getting HB7,5? I mean, R. Kelly gets laid even tho everybody knows he's just a player, right?

2: Should I assume that HB7.5 won't make out with me because she doesn't want to hurt HB6's feelings? As I said, HB6 and HB7,5 is not that close as friends, but still..

3: Is the fact that she asked me to "save" her from the creepy guy a good thing, or does it mean that she sees me as just a regular friend helping her out?


Thanks in advance!

I'm going to assume that you mean that you're getting IOIs from her
No. The caveat is if she is a highly dysfunctional person and/or she's just looking for a quick lay.

R. Kelly is a kid toucher. I'm fairly confident that his bed is fairly lonely these days.
Assume that everyone, everywhere wants to make out with you. If you go in for the kiss, what's the worst thing that can happen? You will either kiss her or you won't.
It could be a number of things. It could be that she wanted a reason to be around you. It could be that she needed an excuse to get away from the guy. Like I said, it could by anything, BUT the fact remains that she went out of her way to get you. The key is to capitalize on any and all opportunities. She spoon-fed you an opportunity.

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Life is a game. Win.

I just stumbled upon a quote from Maya Angelou that makes a lot of sense when it comes to Pick Up. Thank about it!

"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."

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Life is a game. Win.

Hey Medic, thanks for giving us tips/advice, seem like a chill guy....

I'll try to keep this quick:

-Met a girl through a friend of a friend
-took her out to dinner one nite and it went great
-couple days later she invited me out for a friends bday and had an awesome time
-couple days later I asked her to come see shutter island with me and the movie was so boring and horrible that we were fallin asleep, i told her she can pick out the next movie

Question: If im really into this girl what environment should our next nite out be in? Going out with the crew or just the 2 of us? She is kinda friends with some of my girl/guy friends so thats a plus. I dont text/call her everyday as we're both busy and plus i think its good not to come across as needy. I've been out of the loop due to a 6yr LTR so any tips/reading material would be appreciated. Take it easy

Hey Dilemma, welcome to the forum. Kick back, relax and take a look around, there's a lot of amazing information around here.
Movies are probably one of the worst places to go with a girl, but I'm glad that you told her that you will pick out the next one, whenever that may be.

Okay, I'm going to drop a little Medic knowledge on ya. I usually make a date far enough in advance, like a week or so. So, I've scoured the internet and local media trying to find an event. So, I've decided that I want to take her to "XYZ free art show" on Wednesday night. Well, sometime before Wednesday, I'm going to spontaneously call her and have her come out and do something with me, for example, go get a new dress shirt. So all of a sudden, I've created a day-date so I can learn about her on a less stressful term. Plus, if it goes to shit, you can tell her that you have evening plans and leave without it being awkward. Conversely, if things are going awesome, you now have the whole evening to extend your plans to.

The vibe that the above scenario puts off is that you like her so much that you can't wait to see her again. It makes her feel and know that you're thinking about her. Everyone likes to feel like they're on someone's mind. If you'll notice that I said "Wednesday," I said that on purpose. Until you decided that this is someone that you want to be with (on whatever level that may mean), they haven't earned the right to have one of your oh-so-coveted weekend nights.

A great idea for a low stress date is definitely shooting pool, I love it. You can play, you can talk, have a few drinks, maybe some food. Plus there's a distraction, not like going to dinner where you're forced to stare awkwardly at someone that you don't know.

I am completely on board with you with being out of the loop due to a LTR, I was in a similar spot a few years ago, before I joined the community. I highly suggest checking out Hypnotica's "Collection of Confidence." Other than that, I don't really recommend purchasing too many products. There's a plethora of information available on this thing that we refer to as "the internet." An even bigger point that I'd like to push is for you to not spend too much time on the aforementioned internet. Get out there, date, meet new people. You just spent 6 years of your life focused on one person, give yourself time before you jump into anything serious.

Good luck.

_________________
Life is a game. Win.

Thanks for the reply man, some good advice too.

After that horrible movie date it left a bad taste in my mouth so I called her later that nite and said "Hey HB10 I need some advice do you have a minute? I took this girl out on a date tn and it just didnt go as well as I planned due to forces outside my control and I wanted to see if this would sound like something a girl would be interested in. (shes laughing but I never break character) This girl mentioned to me how she wants to try different wines so I was thinking of getting several bottles and having a relaxing night, do you think she would like that? she says while laughin: ur too funny and yes I think she'll love that. ME: Ok well then I'm going to give that girl a call this weekend and you have your self a good nite HB10"

SO anyways I'll go out tomorrow get some wine (i love all reds any way so Im not just splurging for this girl) and call her up and tell her how i was talking to my "friend" about this idea blah blah blah, next thing you know she'll be at my house or vice versa drinking and maybe cooking and as of rite now im scouring over the net for an activity to do IF we happen to get bored.

When I'm wit her I have all the confidence in the world, it's the phone/texting communication where I think about shit too much. I never want the convo (esp texts) to get boring and shes a big texter. Didn't really ask a question here haha but if you want to comment on anything please do.

Slick. I like it.
Haha, yeah, I was kinda waiting for the question. Well, tomorrow, I would go buy 2 or 3 bottles of wine and tell her that she's got to make some finger foods. There's no reason why you should be spending all the money, make her work some, too.

As for the phone / texting... remember the basics of the written word, use adjectives, it spices things up. If you don't have something to really say, don't send a text just for the hell of it. If you use your words fairly sparingly, they make a greater impact when you do use them. That's just my opinion. On the other hand, I have a friend, also a community member, who will talk a girl's ear off about everything, anything, and nothing... personally, I've been witness to it and it gives me a migraine, but it seems to work for him, so I can't really knock it.

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Life is a game. Win.

Haha, yeah, I was kinda waiting for the question. Well, tomorrow, I would go buy 2 or 3 bottles of wine and tell her that she's got to make some finger foods. There's no reason why you should be spending all the money, make her work some, too.

As for the phone / texting... remember the basics of the written word, use adjectives, it spices things up. If you don't have something to really say, don't send a text just for the hell of it. If you use your words fairly sparingly, they make a greater impact when you do use them. That's just my opinion. On the other hand, I have a friend, also a community member, who will talk a girl's ear off about everything, anything, and nothing... personally, I've been witness to it and it gives me a migraine, but it seems to work for him, so I can't really knock it.[/quote]

haha thanks again dude. To give you more insight this hb10 and I will never actually be a couple, shes wayyyyy to much of a party girl, but shes fun and did I mention shes a hb10? lol So we dont talk a lot and when we do is 99% thru texts.

I def cant hit her up everyday, appear needy, scare her off and on top of that I cant let every text look like im tryin to set up our next date but at the same time I dont want too many days to pass with out a witty/funny/dare i say "cute" text bc i want her to keep me at the forefront of her memory as i am certain she has every guy in the world barkin up her tree.

This is where I am the most confused at. Im not going to lie those witty/funny texts are hard for me, not use to it. Im doing pretty well but I am starting to think too much about what to say, byebye natural game. I better inject a question in here some where before you get pissed haha.

So here it is: My above worries are valid right? Dont try for a "date" with every text but dont let too many days go bye without something. She initiated one outta the 3 nights out we had and maybe like 2-3 outta 8 textin convos we had. Should i just say F it and let her get in touch with me for a while? Shes a FT student with 2 jobs, very freggin busy, i give her credit. I sound like such a lame haha usually a very confident guy with a great personality (I'm a personal trainer in NY, no personality = no clients) but this girl has me thinking, over analyzing shit. Not good. I dont apologize for things unless I feel its necessary sooo........I'm sorry for this rant lol

STOP THINKING SO MUCH! It's not good for your skin. lol

You know that you can speak to someone every day and not come off as needy? True story! It's all about your "frame," your demeanor. If you call her and leave a message, "hey, it's me, just thinking about you. call me." From my vantage point, that's not needy, you're not begging her to call you back, you're not acting like the world is crumbling around you without her. I'm not saying to, or condoning, constant contact in this early of your interaction with her. I'm just saying that it's possible to do so without coming off as needy, you'll just come across as a little word we like to call, "interested." lol

If you're into her, keep on top of contacting her. If you don't really give a damn, drop it, if she gets back in touch, cool. I definitely go with the "every other day" contact period. So, you can pretty much bank on having one or two good, solid conversations over the course of the week. The more interaction that you have with anyone, the easier it will be to segue to another face to face meetup.
It's all good, I'm fairly patient. If you're working on my nerves, trust me, it'll be apparent.

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Life is a game. Win.

lol oh so thats why Im breaking out??

Thanks for the advice again, Im def into her so I will stay on top of this one. Every other day is exactly how Ive been playin it. If something happens you will be the 6th person to know haha. Im sure I'll post another question soon...

sacred again

This doesn't really have anything to do with tactics, advice or anything.. But what exactly makes someone a "Pick-up artist"? I mean, I wouldn't consider myself a pick up artist. Yes, I'm in this forum, yes I use things I've learned here, yes I get with girls, but in my mind I'm not a pick-up artist.

Also, I think I've found out how to know who other puas are. Is it the way you blink at eachother? I don't know. Sometimes I'll be talking to someone and they kinda blink both eyes at me, almost signaling "they know". Is it true? Also.. I was hanging with these guys I met on the street.. One of them definitely looked like a pua, talked like one and the other one kept saying "stealth" maybe referring to his style of pick-up? I got this vibe that we both knew whats up.. Also we were in a crowd (Olympics, Go Canada!) and I think I heard one of them say to the other "I love naturals" ... Annyyway, the point is, is all this right, or am I just being paranoid and assuming everyone I meet is a Mpua? The blinking.. is it it?

sacred...

I don't know about you, but when I blink, I blink with both eyes at the same time... that isn't something that I picked up in the community. In my opinion, being able to "pick up on" if someone is a PUA probably means that they aren't very good. I mean, if you hear someone say some really corny opener, like the dental floss thing... chances are they've read MM. I don't really pay attention to a lot of other people, I'm more concerned with myself and what's going on in my set(s). I think that you may just be over thinking the whole thing.

If there is some secret way that PUAs communicate, I'd love to hear it, I have no such knowledge.
Well, this is kinda a philosophical question. I mean, there is a measurable way that some define mPUA status (which I think is 100% BS). It's going 5 for 5 with sets... 5 opens, 5 relationships. So, what makes a PUA a PUA? Well, to be honest, I haven't really ever given it much thought. Now that I put some brainpower behind it, I guess it's a practitioner of these things that we study. I say practitioner because there are plenty of people "in the community" that are afraid to get out from behind their keyboard. If you're going out and getting any sort of success, I think it's fair to call yourself a PUA. I'm going to give it some more thought and if my stance changes, I'll let you know.

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Life is a game. Win.

Hello Medic!

I've had a lot of success from myself in studying/working on my game, mainly from help from this site. However there seems to be a couple of problems when it comes to 'picking' girls up.

A little background on me. I'm 16 in highschool, have a great girlfriend, and I'm overall pretty busy with school and work.

Whenever I'm in the area of 'picking' girls up and talking to them, I'm usually with my friends/bestfriends. I've noticed a massive barrier to my game lately, and it's my best friend.

First, Jon. He's the kind of attention whore that's going to cockblock anyone that gets in his way. He constantly gives off the 'IDGAF Alpha Status. In a typical 4 set involving me, him, and two other girls, he constantly has their attention over ridiculous DHV stories, and most of the time throughout the conversation, he DLV's me. Whether it's two girls we just met, or two known girl-friends, he acts like this. I have tried to Alpha up, and regain attention/interest, however he seems to blow me apart. He really has flaws in his game too, however he has had a very decent amount of success with girls. To me, he comes off TOO nice and needy, while I'm the near opposite.

The question is, how can I combat this in a subtle manner, without seeming like an insecure dick? It's not a choice to 'ditch' him either.

Medic,

Why have you chosen the PUA name medic you seem more like a gamer with the ace and your "Life is a GAME so win it" im just curious