online dating is about looks mainly



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PostPosted: Sun Feb 28, 2010 5:44 pm 
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Mr. Nemo

Joined: Sun May 18, 2008 8:18 am
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Location: OC, California
Quote:
Post your profile as well as what you put in your messages.
I deleted my profile now, but it read something like. I'm looking for a fun,sexy,ambitious, down to earth female who shares same intrests as me. Then I list a few things that intrest me like hobbies, eaing out, working out, etc. Then I end it with, if you want to know anything else msg me and maybe I'll get back to you.
I don't put too much info otherwise there won't be much to talk about. Then when I message them I usually put " You have such a goofy smile(if they r smiling), but I'm sure your laugh is not as bad.lol. As I said before, it gets a response about 30% of the time and usually not the fit women.[/quote]So the problem was your profile and the message you where sending. As both are not appealing let alone entice a girl to want to reply back to you. Online game is much like real life game in that you have to market your self to the girl. If your marketing message is not good then you are going to get a lukewarm response at best, which happened here.


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 01, 2010 6:01 am 
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MPUA Forum Zealot

Joined: Sat Sep 26, 2009 2:47 pm
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Quote:
...Girls say all the time what they want or who they think they want but very rarely end up with a guy that they describe. As very few actually know what they want. Most girls only know a few qualities that they want in a guy and thats it, the rest is really up in the air....
To be fair I think a LOT of men are similar...I have a preference for young,petite, dark haired and big titted - but have 'dated' many girls not like that - I like to keep my options open and I also have criteria for character and sexual adventurousness - things you cannot tell from looks!

If girls use looks as a MINOR part of their criteria they are in a worse position than men. I actually feel sorry for them.

Overall I think it's great that girls have little idea what their physical type is - it levels the playing field a LOT.


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 01, 2010 7:11 am 
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Mr. Nemo

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Location: OC, California
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To be fair I think a LOT of men are similar...I have a preference for young,petite, dark haired and big titted - but have 'dated' many girls not like that - I like to keep my options open and I also have criteria for character and sexual adventurousness - things you cannot tell from looks!
To an extent I agree with you here. But I think most guys tend to not date girls that are totally the opposite of what they want or look for in a girl. How many times have you heard a girl say she wants a nice sweet guy only to go out or be dating a total asshole? I don't see this happening as nearly as much with guys. This is not to say the smart guys keep their options open and date girls that don't necessary match up to what we want as you never know if some average looking girl will knock you off your feet. But not many guys date a girl that is totally the opposite of what they are looking for.
Quote:
If girls use looks as a MINOR part of their criteria they are in a worse position than men. I actually feel sorry for them.
I don't know why you feel sorry for these girls as some girls care less about looks and care more about other things that the guy has. A lot of girls around here will date a guy you would never think she would go for physically only because he had money and or things she more desires in a guy or wants from a guy.


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 01, 2010 1:05 pm 
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Jurupa,

good points - I'm in an experimental mode and trying things I haven't done before - one of them is dating girls I wouldn't think of dating - based on their looks.

I think i was really trying to say that I have a wide range of tastes in girls and women but within that big range I have my preferences. As an example compare actress/comedienne Janeanne Garofolo (sp?) to actress/singer Taylor Swift - to me both are highly do-able but I prefer JG to TS. If a girl is too far away from my 'ideal' in looks I'd probably just treat it as a learning/practice thing or just for sex (one night standard or friends with benefits). The nearer they are to my ideal I'd start screening for their character and sexuality - and if all is good I'd consider them for a long term relationship BUT only after having sex with them half a dozen times.

In terms of feeling sorry for girls - this is a new angle for me as I used to be VERY unsympathetic - I do feel they have it harder. If they are looking for NON-physical things it takes time for them to be able to figure a guy out. The easier side of that of course is that most men are transparent, easy to predict and one dimensional. I guess this is why in seduction you must keep the girl guessing (in a positive way)


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PostPosted: Tue Mar 09, 2010 8:04 am 
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Mr. Nemo

Joined: Sun May 18, 2008 8:18 am
Posts: 3102
Location: OC, California
Quote:
Jurupa,

good points - I'm in an experimental mode and trying things I haven't done before - one of them is dating girls I wouldn't think of dating - based on their looks.

I think i was really trying to say that I have a wide range of tastes in girls and women but within that big range I have my preferences. As an example compare actress/comedienne Janeanne Garofolo (sp?) to actress/singer Taylor Swift - to me both are highly do-able but I prefer JG to TS. If a girl is too far away from my 'ideal' in looks I'd probably just treat it as a learning/practice thing or just for sex (one night standard or friends with benefits). The nearer they are to my ideal I'd start screening for their character and sexuality - and if all is good I'd consider them for a long term relationship BUT only after having sex with them half a dozen times.
I totally with you there on the looks thing. I have dated girls that where overweight to those that worked out. As personally I am not that picky on looks. This is not to say that I am willing to forgo looks completely as there has to be physical attraction there for me, as I believe you can not have a relationship really without physical attraction. This is unless your in your 80's and looks have pretty much gone with age. :P
Quote:
In terms of feeling sorry for girls - this is a new angle for me as I used to be VERY unsympathetic - I do feel they have it harder. If they are looking for NON-physical things it takes time for them to be able to figure a guy out. The easier side of that of course is that most men are transparent, easy to predict and one dimensional. I guess this is why in seduction you must keep the girl guessing (in a positive way)
This is certainly true. Tho I alway thought you should keep a girl guessing more to keep her on her feet than anything else.


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 Post subject: not neccessary
PostPosted: Sun Mar 14, 2010 6:32 pm 
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I consider myself a somewhat expert on online attraction. And looks play about 1/3 role in overall response success. Most your success hinges on opening message. It's gotta be funny, and coming out of left field with a subject line to match. once you've broken the ice and gotten a response, you can then run your nature game on her. Her replies will ALWAYS be short! Do not be detoured by this. she has no idea what to say and this is good since you will be allowed frame control. so run game through storytelling and jokes.
If you emailed a girl once before and gotten no response, you can try again (albeit wait a few days) with a different tactic. Rememebr, the girl gets pounded with at least 50 messages a day so she will not remember you. I once emailed a girl on 5 separate occations, all using different humorous messages over a span of 2 months, and on the 5th one, i just happened to say something that ended up hooking. So if at first you don't succeed, try try again.
If you want a detailed explaination on how to run some of this stuff, i suggest you check out a book called Copy Paste Bang. It'll give you excellent fundamentals on how to do things (although i don't think the writer of the book knows exactly why his tricks work so make sure you've read your other PUA books first to greatly increase your odds).
Another thing I've picked up is that Girls WILL NOT retain the info on your profile page, nor will actually they sit there and read through it. So don't be preachy! Make it humourous, fun or convery that you're picky. I can't tell you how many girls I talk to on there who have just about given up because they keep on getting emails from so many desperate guys. And I also like to wait a few days before emailing a new member. It'll give them a chance to see just how many AFC's on the site there is. Then when i come along, they'll mostly likey thank you later in your interactions.
Remember: These girls are online as a last resort, but (and this is key to remember) they are not gonna grab up the first thing that comes along. They are still looking for high value guys and WILL choose to remain single if they don't find one. Just portray to them your high value guy through your profile and your pics and your in like flynn.


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 Post subject: Re: not neccessary
PostPosted: Wed Mar 17, 2010 8:38 am 
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MPUA Forum Zealot

Joined: Sat Sep 26, 2009 2:47 pm
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Quote:
...Remember: These girls are online as a last resort, but (and this is key to remember) they are not gonna grab up the first thing that comes along. ...
Good comments overall and Excellent point - though some girls/women sign up to online stuff on a whim and do NOT follow through and some girls have just signed up for a laugh or an experiment.

I've never heard of Copy Paste Bang so I'll check that out.

Good point about persistence - I contacted a girl recently and she said that I'd contacted her a few months earlier but she admitted to being shy in replying so did not bother. We met and she was shy - it's very hard at times to tell with shy girls if they're interested or not. Trying to arrange to see her again in a few days hopefully she'll open up (mentally) I think it will take a long time with her for anything sexual.


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 17, 2010 12:46 pm 
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I would like to take issue with Lion_King' supposition that for women it's all about pictures first. That kind of thinking is written totally from an AFC perspective. I am not a super attractive guy, in fact I'm not even average and I have done very well online. In fact, I did well online using a picture where the person in the photo is barely visible.

As it has been said earlier in this thread, women respond to strong, confident and amusing personalities. Looks are important but they are a close second to your confidence. Height is an issue for some women because they are programmed by their peers to favor taller men. I'm 5'6 and I have no problem meeting girls. Sure, I've been flat out told that I'm "too short" but ladies but in the past I was too much of an AFC to know that those were shit tests and were opportunities to show off some of my other characteristics, like a laser wit.

It is also NOT true that women go online as a "last resort". Women meet guys online for a variety of reasons , like because they're intimidated by bars, or they have children at home so they can't go out much to meet men, or just because they never learned to socialize and they're home board.

Women go online because they want to be entertained and because they want to live out a fantasy in their heads - a fantasy that they are going to meet a handsome wonderful guy who is going to sweep them off their feet. You have two choices - you can be Mr. McDreamy (If you're that handsome) or if you're not, provide that sense of amusement.

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PostPosted: Thu Mar 18, 2010 3:35 pm 
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MPUA Forum Zealot

Joined: Sat Sep 26, 2009 2:47 pm
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Quote:
I would like to take issue with Lion_King' supposition that for women it's all about pictures first. That kind of thinking is written totally from an AFC perspective. I am not a super attractive guy, in fact I'm not even average and I have done very well online. In fact, I did well online using a picture where the person in the photo is barely visible.

As it has been said earlier in this thread, women respond to strong, confident and amusing personalities. Looks are important but they are a close second to your confidence. Height is an issue for some women because they are programmed by their peers to favor taller men. I'm 5'6 and I have no problem meeting girls. Sure, I've been flat out told that I'm "too short" but ladies but in the past I was too much of an AFC to know that those were shit tests and were opportunities to show off some of my other characteristics, like a laser wit.

It is also NOT true that women go online as a "last resort". Women meet guys online for a variety of reasons , like because they're intimidated by bars, or they have children at home so they can't go out much to meet men, or just because they never learned to socialize and they're home board.

Women go online because they want to be entertained and because they want to live out a fantasy in their heads - a fantasy that they are going to meet a handsome wonderful guy who is going to sweep them off their feet. You have two choices - you can be Mr. McDreamy (If you're that handsome) or if you're not, provide that sense of amusement.
Excellent points. Though I tend to disgaree about shit tests - I think some ARE shit tests and some are just screening questions , especially if it's still online and you haven't met them yet.

Excellent last paragraph - though I think girls can be very unrealistic and expect the perfect man mr handsome AND mr funny! As if he's going to exist!

Personally I go online expecting a supermodel who is a virgin but with a gigantic sexual appetite , willing to try anything, be an excellent cook and NOT nag! Totally unrealistic especially the last requirement :lol:


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 Post subject: Looks
PostPosted: Thu Apr 01, 2010 6:58 am 
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Yahoo Messenger: AcademicRockstar
AOL: AcademicRockstar
Location: Chicago
This information comes from OkCupid. The site is setup so that you can see three thumbnail pictures, and the full profile. She will have to click on the photos to see the full images.

In order to add an air of mystery to my profile, I cropped my photos so only my nose and mouth were visible in the thumbnails. Yet, my whole face is visible in the photos.

I get a significant number of messages, let's say 2 in 5, with the woman asking 'why would YOU be afraid to show your face in the photo.' In fact, these tend to be the most attractive women who message me - 8s and the occasional 9. In my experience, the 10s let you message them.

Of course, I am not hiding my face. The cropping was just a draw, to add a bit of intrigue. But the point is this. The girls aren't clicking on the photos, and they are still opening me. I am a pretty good looking guy, but they don't know that from the thumbnails.

So, how important are looks online?

I don't have the answer. But I thought y'all might find this to be a useful anecdote to consider.

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