Hey guys, could "not leading the interactions" be the source of my social awkwardness and shyness some times? I mean when I don't feel like I am leading the interaction, or I don't feel like I'm at the top or near the top of the social scale at the present moment, I feel inferior and awkward and just want to run away from the people I'm with and the social situation. I think, subconsciously, to me, it's either I'm at the top, or I'm way down.

How do you go about it? When I can lead people I feel great in social situations, but if I cannot lead, I just can't help but feel depressed and inferior as a person and shy etc.

To make things clearer I will give a little background. I will try to make it as short as possible.

I had quite some friends as a little child, but then moved to a new city where I got bullied and killed all my social skills. Then moved again for college and I was able to make quite some friends, but never really solved my problems with girls. No need to say, but I had never kissed a girl before.

I'm 21 now, on my third year at college and I heard about the PUA community and decided to go study for 6 months at a foreign country and to apply all the pua stuff there.
I'm here at Europe for about 1 month now. We had a party and I was able to be the fun guy, the guy who introduced people, merged groups etc. I was really leading the group that day.
But lately I have had some problems interacting with new people, guy or girl, or even the friends I made here. I feel kinda inferior, I don't know how to explain it. Today I met some new people, they all knew each other and I just sat there, watching them talk and whenever I got asked something, I spoke with little confidence or felt like it was kinda out of context.

So I think maybe my problem is that whenever I'm not leading the interaction I feel bad, inferior and just feel like running away from everyone.
So maybe if I just assume familiarity and assume the state of "leading" people, even if I'm the new one oh the group, I won't feel that shy.

Did I make myself understood? I found it hard to express this via text, so if I wasn't clear enough just let me know and I will try and make it better.

First off your thinking of this in a totally wrong way. You aren't "inferior," that is a VERY poor choice of words to use to describe yourself. Part of being the leader is the ability to LISTEN to a conversation and add his INPUT to it pertanent to the conversation. It is very important to lead a conversation but equally important to listen to a conversation.

You might feel shy because you have no idea what they are talking about, thats why its important to include yourself in the conversation. "Hey what are you guys talking about? Oh cool, what is that?" The leader of the group isn't afraid to admit he doesn't know something.

Its important to let other people talk about what they want as well as guide the conversation towards a topic of mutual conversationalism. Its a tough skill to master but important to learn. YOu must strike the balance of being a good listener and a good speaker.

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