Hi Guys,

So some of you may remember, I posted about the secretary at work who I asked out to lunch.

Well we went out on Monday for an hour, had some food and drinks, she offered to pay but I thought it best that I pay. Had a nice time, good chat, put some subtle DHV's in there, strong eye contact and found out a bit about her and we had an excellent, flowing conversation.

So, on Tuesday afternoon, I ask her if she would like to come out to dinner with me sometime this week. She says yes, asked me when, so I suggested Thursday evening. She says she can't do Thursday but am I available on Sunday possibly? I say that I'll let her know tomorrow and we'll sort it.

So yesterday, I speak to her in the afternoon. I tell her I can do Sunday night, I N/close her (Already had her BB pin but always best to get number). She says that should be fine. I let her know that I will need to book it, so she says that she will confirm for me later on that evening.

Never got a message from her either way and now I don't know what to do.

How long do I wait before I send her a message (Reminder)?
What do I say?
Does this mean she isn't interested?

I'm just confused as my lack of confidence is once again leaving me at a loss as to what to do with this.


Any advice is appreciated guys, thanks!

Well I agree everything you've done so far has been DHVin apart from you paid for the last dinner outing when she offered. I would've went half and half but I don't think it really matters tbh, nice one though on getting her to a 2nd meeting man. I wouldn't worry about the text reminder though man, when women say yes it usually does mean yes. So keep it in your mind as a yes.

Good luck my friend
Happy Gaming
M

_________________
"At the end of the day these are women's lives we're dealing with, not mere entertainment."

"We are what we repeatedly do. excellence therefore is a habit and not an act."

Persistent doesn't have to be needy, and doesn't have to be stalker-ish. Persistent should be alpha. It can range from calling up to get the confirmation as if nothing is out of the ordinary, all the way to a playful abuse, like the time I got stood up, I said something like "Hey you had me waiting, girl! What's the story?" positive, jokey tone.

In this case I would just call up like nothing is out of the ordinary, get the info. If no answer, send text that you're booking it for x time. If it's something urgent like Theatre tickets (which you wouldn't want to waste money on if she cancels), you can be more insistent but make it a joke still. If the time to book comes and goes, don't contact her, let her get back to you and apologise, if she doesn't - move on.

Oh and the other really important thing here is energy levels. If you are all like "Come on, let's do this, it'll be awesome!" and she's like "Hm yeah, got stuff to do, not sure" you back right down and say "Yeah I gotta keep it short, got x and y to do" well not that obvious but something like that. If she really doesn't care about you she wont' respond very well, but if she does care, she won't want to be the person that killed the mood, and will respond really positive.

Good job, dude.

Confirming is good. Show her you're organized and on top of things. Keep it short. Don't linger, don't be needy. And most of all, don't give away the apples until she pays the fee.

Little update guys.


So she never got back to me, so we didn't end up going out on Sunday evening.

Well this morning, I get a message from her, she says she's really sorry for not getting back to me but she just had such a bad weekend.

So I left it a little while and then went downstairs and spoke to her, asked her if she wanted to talk about the weekend, she says not really, she had quite a few arguments and was a bit upset. She also burned her face a tiny bit, she seemed quite self concious about it but I told don't worry, she still looks pretty.

I suggested we re-arrange our little evening and she responded by saying "Yeah OK, when I'm feeling better".


So, any new advice guys? I'm stumped at the moment, don't know what I should do next?

Well cause you work with her it will be really easy to demonstrate that you're easy going and fun and not pressuring her to come out with you. Maybe wait till she does.

She is the building secretary, not our company's secretary, so I only get to see her a few times a day.


I'm thinking I play it cool, speak with her over the next few days and perhaps arrange something for an evening after work?

Whoa, you swing for the fence, buddy. Remember that if you're dating your peer in work or at school, you're risking your reputation and almost everything if something bad happens between you two. But as long as you dare to take the risk, I'll just assume that you're ballsy enough.

First of all, depends on what you want from her, (closed relationship or just casual date?) you can decide what are you going to do with her. If you want a serious, committed relationship, yeah, the act that you want to talk about the weekend was good, it shows different kind of interest.

If you read Magic Bullets and based on my own experience, a date on social circle settings is almost unnecessary. Invite everybody out, have fun with them and isolate the girl, then make the move. Why didn't you kiss her the last time you met if the conversation was so flowing?

But if you're the boss who has all the power and got a different thing going in your life, date is a good choice.

Wait a few days before you start talking about sorting another date, get a night with your friends including her, or secure a date and seal the deal

Hope this helps,
Steven

_________________
"Live every moment of your life as it is the best"

"Grief is the price we pay for love"