I know you don't want me to thank you.

but, I want to express my emotions about how grateful I am to you

I felt like I'm finally out of my own hell of judging myself
I judged myself how unworthy I was, I had no self-esteem
I wanted to be free, and I was confused.

I agree with you that everything is all about balance.
It made so much sense.

Thank you (cries)

Lode, i noe i'm being an AFC now but i think i really need help.

I've been with this girl for more than 1 month now, and a lot of things are alr not going well. She told me a lot of her past. Past partners, past sexual experience, even things abt she cheated on both of her ex who she was into serious LTR with, she having sex with ex even after breaking up. Personally for myself, i got together with her 1 month after I noe her and she only broked up with her previous LTR 2 month before. She claims that she doesn't like him for 4 month before that alr, but they were still like a couple having sex and all. All these bothers me. I can't bring myself to trust her. Every little things she does makes me insecure. Replying my msg coldly, talking to me on the phone coldly, tells me shes sleeping but still online on facebook, flares up over little things, etc. And yesterday she even stopped me from making out with her. All these leads to the point where i can't trust whatever she says, even when she says she misses or loves me i think abt it very skeptically. i tried my best not to act like an AFC in front of her but sometimes i'm afriad that i may just push it too far. Now i'm at the point of keep giving her shit test every now and then. Basically, She failed most of it.

Is it just my issue of thinking too much or is it something else? I can't have the situation to be like this, I love this girl, there have to be a change in the situation. What can I do?

Dude, help and opinions will seriously be much appreciated. Thanks in advance.

Tried to keep this as short as possible Lode, but I believe the details are important as you will see how they come in conclusion with my concerns.

I'd like to say I know where I went wrong, I'd like to know what I need to work on, and I'd like to be able to find myself for once. I'm not going to give you my life story, but there are certain things that I just need to get out there. Any of you that can help and identify, I would greatly appreciate your input. As pathetic as it may seem, this is the only place where I'm really throwing out my feelings, due to the recent lack of friends and family in my life.

Most of us here have been in love, or atleast had an ideology of love with a significant other. I myself had my heart broken a few years back, and now I'm right back where I am. I always told myself after the first time that moving on sucks because you actually train your mind to forget about all the good things that may have happened. Somewhere along the road I lost that, and let myself fall in love again. I had several girlfriends whom some were better then other, but I never had that feeling of real love again. 3 years later and now I'm stuck at my computer desk on a saturday night trying to keep my sanity.

Quick background from where I am now, I've been without a lisence for the past 6 months because of a DUI. I don't drive drunk, but I'm under 21 so a beer would fail me (I'm 20). I was right down the road and pulled over in the driveway I was staying at, but I won't try to justify my actions... I do regret it greatly. I went through a phase of practicing my game, and had some remote success through parties and clubs. Then I met a girl who I felt met the criteria of someone I could be with. I let her in my life, and with the knowledge that she had broken up with a boyfriend recently. I asked her if she was completly over him, and she was... so I proceeded. We started dating and things went fairly well. We did not communicate much, besides to make plans to hang out a couple times a week. After 2 months we both admitted our love for another (her first). I really felt joy at this moment, because I made the realization that I could fall in love again, and perhaps this girl is the one for me. Obviously on such short period I had concerns, but it felt right. I was aware of past problems in previous relationships and took all costs to avoid them. I made everything for her, commonly teased her which she seemed to react well too, and basically avoided being clingy/jealous at all costs. This worked well for while, until basically I must have pushed her buttons with being to cocky and almost acting careless. She had a friend who was depressed that she met through a mutual friend, I had known him in highschool, but I wasn't much more than an aquantince to him. She told me he was helping him through his problems, which I was completly fine with... I even let her ditch one of our dates because he said he was going to kill himself. With complete confidence I believed it was her being a friend, as she proffesses her love for me all the time. After awhile we had some communication issues as I said before, we wouldn't talk much besides when we hung out. It got bad one weekend and she came to pick me up from work (remember I have no lisence) and she told me she didn't know who to be with. She started explaining that he was able to let out all her feelings to her, and that she was a reason to live for again. Immediate reaction I got upset and teared up, she started crying and said thats all she needed to see... is that I care. After a long weekend of her explaning why this happened and everything I agreed to still be with her as she never had actually cheated on me. I even told her she could still be friends with him, as it looks like she needs his help. At the time it was really hard for me to fathom how she was attracted to someone suicidal and so down about life.

It started coming and I came to learn my girlfriend was becoming suicidal, her divorced parents and her dying grandmother who just moved into her house were really starting to get to her. The whole incident put her behind in school as well. It got to the point where she cut herself and went to her friend of whom the incident happened with. This upset me slightly, but I stayed calm... as she reassured me that I was what she wanted. She told me I'm the first person she has ever fallen and love with... and now a week later, after a 3 month relationship I'm single. It turns out in the end she says she doesn't love me anymore and that she can't tell me anything. She did this crying hysterically and she countinued to hold and kiss me. I stayed as calm as possible and told her I agree with the breakup... she needs to do whats best for herself. We both need time to figure out ourselves again and figure out what we want. In my mind I knew she thought she should be with him, but I stayed silent about it... I know shes going to him now.

I truly loved and cared for this girl, and it wasnt for this guy... I'm certain we'd have a great relationship. I had more fun then I had with anyone with her. Not only did I lose my love, but I lost my best friend. Which came to me recently relize the few friends I have here for me right now. I have one friend who had a party and picked me up last night and we had a great time. Many pictures with some girls, which I know my ex will be seeing on facebook to see I can be happy. The truth is my friend is caught up in his own shit, and all my other friends fail to care. My family I try to go to, but things have changed since my DUI and I have trouble talking to them. I'm not truley happy, and all I can do is think about her. I've sworn to myself to not contact her, and have not had contact from her either. Although I did see qoutes on her facebook page saying she was missing someone and some sad love song qoutes. I'm feeling anything but happy right now, and I know the best things to do for myself are just to go out and focus on me. Do things to improve my life and surrond myself with friends and family. The truth is without a lisence I feel there is little I can do, and my friends and family is a difficult situation. I don't want to have to move forward and forget about all the wonderful things I had with this girl... I don't want to give up. I need help... and I need it now. What do I do?

Hello! In the past couple of days I've been in a relationship with this girl. She's cool, genuine, cute, and overall awesome. Although with anything good, there's bads.

The couple of bad things are as follow:

1) When I'm with her, she'll get on facebook with her phone and kind of zone me out. To me this is somewhat unacceptable and annoying. Usually while she does that, I do other things until she get's done. Like messing around on my phone for example.
I want to know how to talk to her about this without her getting mad at me.

2) This girls LOVES to look through my phone, my iPod touch, and my computer. To me it's really an invasion of privacy that I don't like. I usually just go with the flow, but I don't want to anymore. So how can I stop this appropriately?

3) Despite being absolutely gorgeous, she is rather insecure and always at a low self-esteem with herself. Of course she's got a little flab here and there, but I'm fine with a little. I constantly re-assure her that I don't mind it, etc. How can I overcome this barrier?

Thanks in advance, my friend!

Supa123

first of all ... you seem both quitte rational and emotional.. in a manner you have both lined up. Trust your intuition, but before you trust your intuition you have to eliminate this noise ( your mind ). To eliminate this noise you shouldn't be thinking about the past or the future , when something arrives concentrate on your breathing ; in and out. You will project negative images when you mix your intuition with thoughts about the past or present because they could be negative ( concious or unconcious ). You are probably a intuitive person and that is one of your strenghts.

Now you have been with this girl for about a month now, but things aren't going well because you're having certain expectations. it's not likely - but people can change or change troughout the present moments ( or throughout time ) There is no such thing as a perfect partner - there is only a partner who lives up to a certain amount of your expectations.

You judge what's not going well for you, it could be good however only you perceive it as something bad. She has been completely honest about her past life right ? so that's a thumbs up. it only makes you insecure because it doesn't corresponds with your reality or expectations. You have nothing to lose, if the relationships ends you still got yourself - you will never lose yourself.

What you are afraid of is being insecure or more AFC.. this is a unconcious proces - because you are emotionally involved you mix thoughts with intuitions. This relationship isn't giving you what you expected, it doesn't give you what you want - only you being more insecure. All external factors such as relationships can't make you happy , you must be a happy person yourself before you can commit to a happy relationship.

She is playing games Out of her own insecurities, you are both insecure and she is making insecure by telling you certain facts. From those facts she seeks external validation from you because she wants you to be impressed and insecure HOWEVER you perceive it as negative so it's counter-productive. in short terms she makes you insecure because you perceive it as negative, don't perceive it a negative because it's the past. when you realise the past cannot be changed or relived - your intuition becomes more reliable. We have to eliminate that static noise out of your head - but also realize she has the same noise in her head.

Don't judge , don't have expectations and don't seek the negative, just wait for one extra month with a different mindset. your insecurity will reflect on her and her insecurity will reflect on you , stop reflecting on her - and be immune to her reflections. Love and relationships it's not about shit testing, it's not about expectations and it's not about receiving love . It's about loving yourself and reflecting that on another person. 1 month is too short , change your inner state and go for another month - because i can see you are confused and you don't want to break up yet. Im not talking about her past experiences and sex life because it's the past - people change and give them a second chance - you would like to have a second chance as well.

peace

PS.. i see more questions from other people as well but i have an appointment right now , i will give my opinion later ( i ill answer those questions later)
If you have a problem and you don't know what to do, don't act - the solution comes when you stop thinking about it ( being aware).

_________________
AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
questions about herbal medicine here-vp582526.html#582526

Mortal

mmm interesting story.... im going to break down your whole way of thinking - this can be emotional very painfull, but remember you are in pain right now and action is the willingness to change.

first of all love is a self-hypnotic state, you can only fall in love if you hypnotize yourself enough. Most people say i love you or '' this is forever '' they implement the sub-concious thought into their own being and interalize it. The truth is .... you can fall in love with everyone or everything , there are people who love trees (treehuggers) and you have people that love certain objects and even have sex with it.

i once dumped a girl on in a very harsh but honest way... after i had a break down with my next girlfriend( she was a huge bitch with huge ego) i realized how good the other GF was - i fell in love with someone who i haven't spoke to for 6 months.
Everything that incorporates your bussy mind and uncontrollable emotions is pure confusement , you have to be aware of this.

A broken heart is not giving yourself permission to fall in love again because you have all these negative feelings . You only want to feel the positive ones but somehow when you think of all the good times you also have to deal with new negative pop-ups. If a girl dumps you your reality breaks down - your reality often consist out of '' i love you forever '' .. but hey .. '' i thought this was forever '' so your reality breaks down and instantly affects/lose your personality. identity - sanity - because you build your life or concept of love around your girlfriend, thus often affecting self-love. ( both concepts are different to a degree but you will not realize this when you're emotional).
if someone who confirms - corresponds or correlate to your reality does something which is out of your reality ( action performance ), you will get a huge blow because your still seeking external confirmation/validation of your reality'. When you meet a girl don't use criteria or judgement, becuase judging is not knowing but deceiving - you are merely reflecting everything you want on someone else.
If someone tells you i love you it magnifies the hynotic effect, what you are reflecting is received back to the creator. She confirms your reality '' i love you '' ( your self hypnotic state and that's why you fall in love for 100 %. this is the reason you felt joy, not because you seek or draw happiness from within but rather from external factors(external validation) and this time it was your relationship. She gave you joy because she confirmed your own self-illusions, now those illusions are broken down which gives a huge blow to your self esteem -because you got the feeling you need her to GET the feeling back.
It's merely you and yourself who is unhappy with itself.
Never avoid problems.... submerging is not arrising - let it emerge so it can be dealt with. Resisting realities by using your mind or ego is never a good option , because your mind will dwell in the past or future in a negative way. Problems can only be solved if you let them emerge, and fear not - the problem is not the person itself, often people think they are their problems OR they are their emotions. Thoughts create emotions and emotions create thoughts if you not stay in the present moment, people often will look at the past or future ( often a negative one ) - thus continues the cycle of negativity and illusions to their reality. We are not out emotions and we are not are thoughts, stop dwelling in time and focus on life - focus on the present moment. Performing to please another is being clingy, don't act like you must do something. Don't expect and don't put up a circus, the need to please someone is being clingy. Because when someone laughs you think your funny - don't get fooled by external validation, i mean your probably a funny guy but don't let other tell you your funny or not. You acted to something you aren't... you acted too cocky and too careless like you've said, therefore there is a conlict in you. When you switch to ''normal'' mode your enviroment doesn't like you because they expect you to be '' the cocky and too careless '' thus again seeking confirmation or letting other affect your state. there is nothing wrong with being cocky as long you do it in a way which represents the real you.
the guy makes her feel good because he gives her a certain (external) validation , she feels important when she receives it. therefore it's not love or attraction - it's merely value from a guy who can't value himself. she is actually a leech and she leeching him, the guy is dependent on her to feel good - he needs to learn on how to feel good himself and not lean on other people or objects. She is actually destroying him because when she needs to let go of him he will be thrown of his only support pillar.
He needs to base himself on one pillar ; his own.
she is not attracted but she does admire his honesty about emotions, i think your GF wants you to be emotionally honest.

what happens when a unstable person creates a band with a unstable person ? what do the share ? their inability and unstableness. Thier whole relationship would be based on one big negative false reality. their base would not be love. However you are guessing they are together or something because you dwell in the past about what has happened ( the girl and suicidal guy ) there is no reason to assume they are together - also there is no reason to feel like it's a big loss, she doesn't represent you - or maybe she does ? ( suicidal person etc ) She hypnotized you.... like i've mensioned above. Don;t even bother because she sounds like a low quality girl with low quality inner game ... don't you wish a better girl to yourself ?
you don't need her because your mind - your ego want to hold on the the hypnotic state of feel good .... the hynotic state of love WHICH is a illusion. im single ... i've been trough alot of shit and muliple relationships and i have almost nothing in the material realm, i feel happy and i feel good. if i can do it you can do it.
ok you lost her and you to deal with that it's normal and healthy, but you didn't lost yourself - you only lost her. You have a problem and when it emerges you seek refuge in external things which we delude ourself makes our happy. like love is self-hypnosis SELF HATE and UNHAPPYNESS is also self-hypnosis , your concious mind choose these state because your unconcious mind is out of reach and in conflict.

The void is created in you and the unhappyness is created within you, don't resist and don't seek refuge- untie the knot.

GIVING up the good moments you had with this girl is giving up the newly formed reality of love which is created in your mind by self-hypnosis.

Experiencing things - example ; going out , bungee jumping , relationships, IS not ADDING. it's unadding - it's shedding your bark untill you find the real self. All things in life ALL experiences you go through make who you are now - the enlightment and life-lessons you learn from it is forming you.
You feel like everything is negative because you think everything is adding to your life HOWEVER it didn,t ; you was only shedding your bark, the ego wants to fight this and keeps the ideal of adding. because in the west we learn to add , we think a car adds to our life , we think a car will get us better girls BUT it is not us who is drawing happiness out of ourself, it is the car that is drawing the girls. Thus you are unhappy.

when you think something will add to your life... completely change your way of thinking, think : this is unadding , this is shedding my skin until i become my throught self. you are far way of inner happiness because the mindset of ''adding'' counts for postive as well as negative. when you don't think it will add you will not add negativity anymore. Negativity will be the cold rain which will wash the mud from your body.

nothing is difficult because you are who you are and you realize you need to learn to become a better person ( closer to the real you ), don't get affected what people will think or say about you because they are stuck into negativity themself - they are the ones who are afraid what people will think of them.
Difficulty exists in afrika.. in the war zones where 120 people die each day , we have no problems here , especially in the west. Know what you're gratefull for recognize what you have.

because.... no matter what .. you have still YOU... so from now on there is now past or future .. only the present and you will change right now .. in the present.
When light shines on darkness the object will be seen, everything in touch with light will become light itself. try to shine light on yourself...

i recommend you some books but right now i recommend you one book : http://www.amazon.com/Power-Now-Guide-S ... 904&sr=8-1

as long you don't give up on yourself ![/quote]

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AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
questions about herbal medicine here-vp582526.html#582526

Hey Lodwijkp,I think I was the 1st. or 2nd. poster with a question.

Nice to see how far it's gone.

Now,my gf has a habit of whenever we get into a disagreement,Im always the one to make bacc up or apologize.

She's rarely ever done it.

Im trying to change the game where as she makes up or apologizes.

So I plan on freezing her out(or has been since yesterday)until she gets the message and compels her to initite the resolution of our differences.

Is freezing her out the right way?[/i]

_________________
Most active PUA blog in the community since 2009.
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Now active on YT again with PUA, Red Pill, Manosphere content:
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Girl I care for a lot has been going through rough patch recently with high workload + something with her family.

She's been coming to me for comfort, I've been giving it, helping her through it.

Tonight she was still feeling really down about it all, I was helping again, she's been really stressed with her high workload.

She then suddenly goes offline and I get a call from her saying her friends came round, picked her up and have taken her out. I never got invited (not really bothered) but whilst on the phone to me she was asking her friend if guy X, Y or Z were coming - charming .

Then I text her later on saying I couldn't believe she went out, she asked why and I said it was like she was running away from things. She then gave me a non-response. Then text me back a bit later asking why I was being like this, I just said it was because I cared and had been caring for the last week. She said she understood but wondered if I thought she deserved this break. I wrote back saying I know she was going to feel even worse tomorrow because she didn't do the work tonight when she had a chance and that I really didn't want her to feel like that again. She then just said she had nothing more to say to that but she felt like we'd taken a few steps backward.

I then left it an hour or so and text her saying "Speak when you get home ? xx" - got no reply.

Did I do wrong ? I feel abit used tbh. When she's down, miserable, she uses me as like a comfort blanket, but then when she has the opportunity to do her work + fix her problem so she can be happy, she goes off with another group of friends :/. If she's not willing to help herself, how can she expect me to help her ?

1. Accept it... the best way to avoid the whole thing is not to talk to her on facebook or other internet services, to my experience internet always creates miss-communication and words get twisted. she need to invest in her friends as well and she probably uses internet / chatting programs to do so.

2. Make it clear, just tell her but be open about it. or you can look on her phone as well, girls hate it if you break their privacy because they have all these girly things they discuss with their female friends. you are not married so she doesn't have the right to break your privacy.

3. people with low self-esteem always scroll through your phone, because they are afraid you will cheat or hook up with other girls etc. Don't try to change her because when you do she will think you don't accept her for who she is. I've tried to change girls but it doesn't work because they must change themselfs.
you can say i don't mind or i do mind - she doesn't believe you anyway - if you marry her she will ask about her hair, flab or whatever for the next 60 years. it's just what woman do , almost all woman have low self esteem to a certain degree otherwise you couldn't pick them up. You need to accept her insecurities.
you can always watch a cool spiritual movie or give her a cool book.

peace

_________________
AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
questions about herbal medicine here-vp582526.html#582526

k-loc

I think taking a break/ freeze out is a good idea , after a while people get less emotional and they can think about their actions.
especially woman because they backward rationalize, when i got an issue or disagreement i always freeze out for a few days.

Even the most obnoxious girls changed their opinion after a while and offered their excuses. However don't make a big deal out of it meaning ; don't ignore her just be short and cold. When you make a big deal out of it they discuss it with their female friends until they get validation, they go out and do shit.

so don't ignore her 100 %, do a ''warm freeze out'' and act like you are bussy like you have alot to do.
i freeze out for 2 days , and im being cold for the next 2 days ( or longer depends on the issue). Go with the abundance mindset for a few days and go out....

chances are she wouldn't say ''sorry '' in a direct verbal manner, sometimes people have a different way of saying sorry. If she's more clingy and she gives you alot of attention you can bet she changed her mind in some way. so even if she doesn't say verbally sorry stay cool.

peace

_________________
AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
questions about herbal medicine here-vp582526.html#582526

The_Prophet

i understand .. you help her and you invest in her - she doesn't invest anything back. but also understand this:

1. she got her own life , you can't control her
2. she's stressed and need some time for herself
3. she looks like you are trying to force yourself into her free time

ok this happens alot : you help a girl - you invest alot in her and when she needs some time for herself she just leave you behind and you feel used.
you start to message her and she thinks you are clingy, now she goes to her friends and ask validation - she wants to other people to confirm her thoughts - so she won't feel bad about it.

All her male friends want to fuck her anyway so they validate whatever she says , even if it's the most destructive stupid shit. You have no reason to worry because these are orbitter chodes and validating someone elses value is chode/AFC

about the helping stuff ..... it's true and she is dependent whenever she needs it . she still let you know stuff , she's still open about what she doesn....
3 choices i would consider :

1. i would freeze her out and when you have contact again i would brush if off , like it never happened.
2. brush it off but next time don't be there for her... just go out when she needs you.
3. don't react in anyway , act like it never happened....

Personally i would combinate 2,3 because i don't like needy girls that use me whenever they need it, and i don't make a big deal out of it because i want her to be happy. don't confuse being caring with being clingy....be there for her when shit really hits the fan but don't be a comfort blanket when regular shit arrives. people also should learn to stand on their own legs , growing dependent is not helping.

peace.

_________________
AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
questions about herbal medicine here-vp582526.html#582526

I’ve realized my feelings may not be logical and that’s why I’m seeking help to guide me away from these hypnotic feelings as you have said. I guess the way I’ve been perceiving love to be the sad truth that it really is hypnotic. I realized this was the case with the first girl I fell in love with, I was more obsessive about the idea of being in love. This time I felt like it could be different, this girl became everything I was into. She had the brains (straight A’s in school), she traveled (several different countries, her mother from the Philippines), absolutely beautiful, came to me (I don’t drive), made me feel great about myself, the best sex partner, and most importantly she listened and never talked over me. It’s a shame that if this other guy didn’t come into the picture I wouldn’t see any problems, and all I do now is stem them to him. I’ve been bouncing back and forth between my feelings, one moment realizing its not going to work, the next looking at my phone itching to text or call. I know I don’t need her, but it was a real nice thing to be able to go and hang with her. I think I would have called by now if I didn’t make a logical effort to realize it would do more harm than good. I want to get rid of that part of me that wishes she would call and tell me what a mistake she has made.

Beyond that, I have to say Lode you hit the nail into my head. Everything you said is completely accurate and definitely relates to how I feel/did. I was being too much of something that I was not, thinking I could take the higher control in the relationship. I think all this PUA material has really caught up my sense of reality. I need to figure out who I am again, and the concept of shedding my skin is exactly what I needed to hear. I tried today to snap back and try picking up girls, but my confidence has subsided since she left him for me. My reality was so much higher for myself, I saw myself very secure and confident over this guy. I even joked about it, saying if he’s so depressed why don’t you suck his dick and make him feel better. All mutual friends with him tell me they didn’t see it coming and he is of much lower value (a guy who wants to kill himself, I can’t imagine it would be hard). It was a complete ego kill and I need to shed all these feelings I have and break out into the real me again.

We made solid attempts to talk about our problems, but in the end I failed. I told her of my previous relationships and problems that had aroused from them, asserting her in what I liked and what I didn’t. At first I was not opening up, and then when I started to she closed right up and went to him. I do have confirmation that she is wants him from her when we broke up. I haven’t talked to her since, but her facebook statuses provide that is going out and doing things with him, if officially dating or not.

It’s unfortunate that I know he is not the one from her, and vice versa. It hurts to know a girl I really care about is going to get hurt. It’s an experience she will learn from, just as I learned from this experience. It’s hard to admit to myself that I was putting on a performance to try and attract her, but in the end I know its 100 percent true. I’m definitely going to take recommendation to the “Power of Now” and read it with complete observance. The things you do for the people on this board are completely miraculous… what a great thing to do for yourself as well. I’ve read your story and about some of the problems you had, and to see how you’ve overcome that, gives me great hope. It makes me think the way to the top is really helping other people, with that said if there’s anything I can ever help you with please enlist me. I’d be more than happy, and would enjoy any opinions, research or anything you could think of. Everything you said really did help me get out of that self-hypnosis, now I need to learn how not to keep bouncing back into it like I have been.

Mortal

good to hear you've changed, and shedded all unneccesary thoughts, this is the beginning of freedom of mind.
the self hypnosis is caused by the rational mind, not by the unconcious part of you ( your soul ). The mind is only a tool , it's not you, the soul is the real you. Often we become our tools but from now on you must realize - the more you live to your concious mind(sometimes desbribed as self/ego) the more you move away from your real self ( your soul or unconditioned unconcious mind). don't resist anything don't resist negative feelings don't pay attention to them.

You will bounce back when you get a whole new view on life, you will think about some situations again and will probably laugh. After a while the past will look like a dream, like it wasn't any effort at all. What you can do for me... is read books and think about it, move closer to yourself and stay in balance.
second you can do is not assume anything and not believe in anything, only believe in yourself.

peace

_________________
AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
questions about herbal medicine here-vp582526.html#582526

Its been like almost a month now, but all of the sudden shes been acting all weird lately, she rarely kisses or hugs me whenever she sees me.

She hasn't hung out with me in like a week.

She barely even talks to me :S

Ive even asked her several times about this, she says shes everythings fine.

I mean we used to be so into each, now what?

I'm guessing its some kinda phase?, she seems to still care about me because she caught me smoking when i'm tryin' to quit, she yells "Are you dumb? Why are you smoking?"

Could she be on her period? Should I do something about this? Should I act like nothings going on?

Lodewijkp,

I met this girl out in the town about 5 weeks ago. We hit it off, turns out she's in one of my college classes. So we meet up and we get this casual thing where we meet up most days in college for lunch or coffee and some times clubbing. Nothing exclusive, nothing serious. We both know this and want this. She even told me one night that she has commitment issues and has only been with one guy ever, for a few weeks. (she is 18 though, to be fair)

What attracted me to her wasn't her looks (even though she is very pretty) which was a first for me. It was her energy and mainly her personality. She was a total individual, does what she likes, generally cool down to earth girl. But anyway we had this casual thing for about a month. I take her on a trip to the beach for Valentines day (or anti valentines as she calls it, she is very different!) we have a great day, get along very well. And then at the end of the day she says it's going to fast for her. Immediately I said ok lets take things slower. So we agreed on keeping it casual. I give her a couple of days to her herself, ask her I need a female opinion on new clothes I want to buy. So at the end of the day I put my arm around her and she pulls away. Shortly after I went in to simply peck her on the cheek and she pulls away again. I got pretty annoyed by this and demanded she explain to me what we were doing if we weren't going to make out.

So she says she just wants to be friends now. Different than our understanding a few days before this. So we talk for a bit and I say I don't want to be just friends. She says she likes being single and wants to try it for a couple of weeks and see from there. Now I've heard all these excuses before. I didn't understand why she wouldn't be single if we had a casual, non exclusive thing. So I say if she wants to break it off then I don't want to be friends because I don't do the post relationship stuff. She doesn't change her mind and I have to get to class. I said something like, well if thats what you want then that's it and I walk away. Should I have handled this better?

It's a week and a half later and, sure, I've been with a few girls since. I have many pictures of all the partying I've been doing up on facebook for her too see. I want her to know that I can live a great life with or without her. But I hooked up with these new girls for their looks. If I'm honest with myself then this is the girl I want, for her personality and great energy. I haven't approached her or contacted her but I want to. But this will only show that I can't go very long without talking to her.

Is there anything I can do to get her back? Should I stick it out being friends with her for a bit first or am I right in saying it was just an excuse? My best friend tells me it's a mere infatuation and wants me to delete her number. But I do want to try it out again. Is there any way to approach her without coming off as desperate?