Hi everyone. This is kinda long but I really need any kind of help soon so please take five or ten minutes to read (at least parts of) this. Thanks.

I'm a 19 year old college student. No model or anything, but alright I guess in terms of looks (I work out sometimes). But here's the shit news: I'm a virgin and chronic masturbator. Never been in a relationship. Went on one date in high school (which I fucked up since I was too nervous). Furthest I've ever went with a woman was holding hands. I know...sad stuff . Pretty much had little to no friends till grade 12. I'm really socially awkward sometimes. All sorts of behavioral issues as a kid. Fucked up past.

I joined this forum today because (with your help hopefully) I wanna change. Fuck being too proud/cocky to ask others on the internet for help. Fuck the past! Starting tomorrow (well today technically lol) morning, I wanna be a new man . But that's much easier said than done. I've got a shitload of issues that I need to work on (like excessive and unnecessary swearing hehe). I've read some of this online help stuff for some time now. I seem to be getting some of it, but I know I have some issues deep down that are preventing me from getting results. This applies to my interactions with guys (social results, not sexual ones, lol) as well as with an HB7+.

Since the start of high school, I've always cared way too much about what other people thought of me. This self-consciousness is a curse. It affects me in just about every way possible. Every time I'm talking to people for instance, I feel a need to win their approval. Not that I'm a doormat or shit like that. I used to be one back in like grade 11. But despite exercising assertiveness on the outside, I cannot deny that subconsciously I'm fucking whipped and feel like shit if I don't win people's approval. Here are some examples of some thoughts that pop into my head sometimes:

"Was I too boring?"
"Are they gonna want to talk to me again"
"I guess I'm just not that interesting to talk to..."
"Why am I not as included in this conversation as I think I should be" <-- happens very often
"Wow I fucked that one up horribly"
*talking to HB7+* "...oh man how do I keep these awkward silences away"
"Omg I coulda done this/that blah blah"
(This one really fucks me up since I usually think about an embarassing, awkward or emotionally charged situation for hours or DAYS after even though it's all in the past. This is the kind of thought that makes me depressed and gives me insomnia. In fact the reason why I'm up at 6 in the morning (aside from cramming assignments) typing up this is because I feel like shit right now and am filled with regret about how yesterday could have gone 100x better.)

The social awkwardness that arises sometimes is probably a direct consequence of my subconscious urge to impress everyone. Sometimes I...freeze... (for the lack of a better term) when interacting with people. For example, when I walk by people around campus that I kinda know, instead of saying hi like I should, I do something stupid like quickly look away or say hi right after passing them (lol I know what you're thinking, that's pretty fucking retarded). Sometimes they say hi to me first and instead of saying hi back I avoid eye contact for whatever reason
then make the decision to reply when it's too late.

Also, when I'm talking with a bunch of people who aren't close friends (or when I'm talking to an HB7+), sometimes I have trouble participating in the conversation. Other times I'm great - make good jokes, make everyone laugh, direct the converation, make myself look very alpha. But sometimes I'm so fucking bad I do things that I think subconsciously alienate others. This can be anything from my body language,
tone of voice, or the way I talk since I would usually try to seek attention from the group if I feel like I'm left out.

Today when it comes to women I'm not a complete idiot. If I can work up the nerve to approach, sometimes I'm able to talk to them, get them laughing (with cocky/funny if I manage to use it correctly) and even a little kino going. But after this initial stage, I'm lost. I always do something to cause her to lose interest. If they see me again, the spark the I worked hard to create during that first interaction is gone. I think it might be that women are very good at sensing my subconscious desire to win their approval even if I fake confidence on the outside.

I've got some high standards by the way. I will never settle for a HB5 or even a HB4- like I've seen many guys do. I usually avoid talking to women that are not at least an HB6. I would only consider doing more than holding hands/hugging an HB8+ or an HB7 with a great personality. That's probably a huge barrier for me right now. But honestly, I shouldn't even think about outer game until I get this self-consiousness and socially awkward shit under control.

Let me tell you about the time when I was completely in love with an HB9.5 in high school for over a year. She had a unique and fun personality too. Best of all she was reserved and didn't really date, which meant minimal competition with other guys and AMOGs. Damn man. Honestly haven't found another woman with all three those assets around campus. Been almost two years and I still ask myself how the I managed to fuck that one up.

I had no classes with her so we'd talk online or during the random times I saw her at school. She knew me since when I was a loner, so that sucked. But in my final year of high school (when I made some real friends) I became more confident in myself. I became aware of the importance of standin up for yourself and not letting others treat you like shit. This had a huge influence on her attitude towards me. Since she became single around that time, I decided to make some moves.

Initially they seemed to be working. I became more flirty with her. I demonstrated that I was not afraid to touch her. But my needyness fucked me up bigtime. Every time I talked to her, I walked away disappointed because I always had an expectation of what the interaction would bring (in terms of progress with this HB9.5). As you can predict, the interactions failed to meet my expectations. She obviously wasn't stupid and could tell I was disappointed with not being able
to escalate things.

A few months before the end of the school year her long-time close friend started getting a little touchy with her. I'd see this guy hold her arm/shit like that. I knew deep down that there was no way she'd even think about being with this guy, since he was one of the biggest tools I knew at the time. But for whatever reason, seeing the two sitting together in a field shoulder to shoulder still made me angry . Angry mostly at myself for not knowing what to do about it. So basically this went on until the summer came and today we talk about once or twice a year online. But her tool-friend failed to seduce her (big surprise there), so at least I'm happy about that. She definitely deserves better.

So like I said my two biggest problems are caring too much about what other people think and socially awkward when nervous. I was always aware of this and actively tried finding ways to fix this. I've joined clubs/organizations, gone clubbing a couple times, gone to parties/keggers, etc. Although this has helped slightly, my fundamental problems are still there. And I don't know if it's the shitty weather, fucked up assignments or just my negativity in general, but lately my life just seems to be spiraling downwards with no end. I know the solution is probably
some simple shit. Probably like a stupid math problem that seems like the hardest thing ever but can be solved in a matter of seconds. But I don't know what the solution is.

This is where you come in. If you're reading this (and I seriously hope you still are lol) you probably are better with women than me and can probably gimme a few pointers or tell me anything else I'm doing wrong. Any tips on how you woulda gamed that HB9.5 would be greatly appreciated. But most important of all, if you have any words of wisdom for my two biggest problems which completely fuck up my inner game, please share. Any routines and/or exercises that you suggest for me or do yourself to alleviate similiar problems is something I'd love to hear about.

Today is Tuesday, January the 19th, 2010. After I wake up following some much needed sleep, I am a new man. These are my new commandments.

I will rid myself of my flawed ways.
I will flush away negative, self-destructive thoughts.
I will find my mind with positive, helpful thoughts.
I will stop caring what other people think.
I will approach that HB10 and not give a shit if she shoots me down.
I will seek advice from others when the need arises.
I will not neglect the teachings of the PUA community regardless of progress speed.

Yeah I'm fully aware of how corny that last part must have sounded. But fuck it if I'm gonna make a promise to myself, why not make it a promise to the world? Anyways thanks for reading.

CollegeVirgin,

First of all, I would like to point out that I know you are 19 and have only held a girls hand. However, there are members of this forum a lot older than you that are in the same boat. As a matter of fact some of my past students have been in their late 20s and hadn't kissed a girl yet.

What I'm getting at is at times I know it seems that everyone in the world seems to have kissed a girl but you, and things of that nature. As you can tell that's not completely fact its just your own perception of things. Perception can be reality but you will learn to change your perceptions about many things so that you can be better with women over time. Just keep in mind it's not just you, others on this very forum have struggled with what you are, and have gone on to great relationships with women.

Caring about what people think of you is normal. Believe it or not most everyone you know probably cares about what people think of them. Everyone from the HB10s you've seen to the high school popular guy. We as people are social and like to be around others. We like to know that we fit in socially and most of us seek that validation from others.

How do you stop caring about it? When you realize that it doesn't matter. But you have to know it and not just think it. This is going to take some time for you to get your past issues sorted out. We're not psychologist or anything of that nature but we can point you in the direction to help your "inner game" if you will. I truly believe this is the first thing you will want to work on before progressing forward.

People like David DeAngelo, Hypnotica, and others have some great material on inner game and to re-wire your mind so to speak about the ways you see women and society. It's good stuff!

Don't rule out talking to a counselor or psychologist. I'm not saying your nuts or anything but some people have some serious issues to work through and I'd say most of us on this forum aren't qualified to help you do that. Just something to keep in mind.

There are all kinds of pointers and things we can tell you, and many more you'll read on this forum but let's put first things first. Work on what is going on in your head because ulitmately that's what we need working for us in field meeting girls.

As for the HB9.5 I know how you feel about her but put her out of your mind. Worrying about what you could have done differently or should have done differently isnt going to help you right now on your journey, and you'll always have time to think about it later...believe me.

Welcome to the forum, and I wish you luck on your journey.

~Jon

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Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

Yea man, I definitely feel for you. The whole eye thing when you look away when you see someone you know I can totally relate with. For me, I just have some really negative beliefs about myself thats stopping me from reaching my potentital. For you, probably the same problem. I studied a shitload of material regarding inner game. Nlp, hypnosis, On being a man, the blueprint, hypnoticas ultimate inner game, and alot more. What I realized from watching those seminars is that my problems arent problems a seminar or program can fix. The problems I have need proffessional help.

Ive finally gathered up the courage to go out and take action. I signed up for an EMDR therapist and tommorow im going to go on my 3rd session. Ive had some really bad traumas in my past and I am not the same anymore. Now a year and a half later, I finally went out to get help. Ive been hearing a ton of great stuff about this breakthrough therapy. For you though, your problems may not be as bad as mine or maybe they can be even worse. I dont know. But dont let your best years of college just run by. Get help and take action.

Too me it just seems that youve been an introverted kid your whole life. Thats why your having the problems your having today. There have been a ton of guys in your position and some of them have become the best guys with women. You just need to make some new friends and start going out with them. But most of all you need to get out of your comfort zone. If you want something youve never had youve gotta do something youve never done.

yea man I used to be like that too and sometimes think like that too. I read a lot of PUA materials but don't have a lot of experience in the field. You should read a lot about being an alpha male and inner game stuff. One of the websites I love visiting over and over again is www.seductionbase.com. It's freaking awesome haha I think you'll like it. When ever I read these self-help books, I like meditate on them and it really helps. In some nights and still occassionaly, I would write good things I should believe in.
Like: "I am the MAN", "I don't need validation from the other ppl", "Girls want me" and stuff like that.
Dude I have some good PUA ebooks, PM if you want some of them. Congratulation on deciding to start this journey!! I'm a noob too so I know how you feeling. But keep us updated on your progress, like I am because I find great support in the forum.
good luck!

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newborn feeling good!
"[One of] the biggest risk in your life is the risk you don't take" - some guy on MTV's Jersey Shore

Its because its human nature for everyone to care what others think of them, though some more so than others. Someone can say "LOLZ, I dont care what anyone thinks of me" but at the end of the day, everyone wants acceptance, no matter how much they say they dont care about other's thoughts of them.

watch these 3 videos on inner-game its pretty damn good here is the link.

http://www.attractioninstitute.org/what ... inner-game

Hey man,
I reconize this situation alot. This close to me a year ago. This makes me look back and examine my personal quests. Some i have over came and some I still work on. The main thing that i am seeing is that it seems like your totally in your head. You talk about how you focus on the past what has happened. You seem like you have alot of anxiety in your life. Don't worry i was there and at times am still there.
One thing i did for all this is like what alot of other people have said to do. Hypnotica and david d's inner game. I bought every single inner game thing there was along with outer game. The funny thing is when you just get out of your head and live in the moment. All this stuff you are learning just comes naturally. You don't put the importance on any of it.
A great way to get out of your head and learn to be a more social person is to talk to everyone. I noticed you stated you don't talk to 4-7 girls. It seems like such a waste since from the way it sounds your skill set isn'tup to 9 and 10's yet. It can be it takes alot of rejection. Why not start off learning to just talk to girls even if your not attracted. It helps alot they still play the same games and you learn so much. If nothing else befriend them and go out social proffing with them they are still girls.
As for after the approch i recomend the routine manual from love systems, or open like a master from speer. If there is a local lair they can go out with you and try to help. Boot camp is always a great option.
Other than that try to be more positive and fun loving. No more sitting thinking about the past negitivly. If you think of the past try learning and letting go. I had the same thing happen with a girl in love and things go back and forth seeing her with guys for 10 years. I gave my self a gift of putting it to bed by laying it out. you should to.
I don't want to preach just help. So that is all for now. New to this forum.

mastermind007

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When the student is ready a master will appear to show him the way. Which are you today?

Thanks guys I've been reading your replies and they've been helpful. Honestly, I expected some flaming, since I'm used to forums (usually gaming ones) filled with immature teenagers and even kids (these days parents SERIOUSLY need to limit the amount of internet access kids have) .People who make valid arguments get flamed and bitched at 24/7 in those forums. I am grateful for having joined a forum where the community seems to be filled with mature and intelligent people.

To those of you who just read my original post (and to those who already replied), if you have any comments, suggestions or even arguments, please feel free to share.

i've been there and was on my own .... After few months i got calibrated and even got approached by HB 9 HB 10's ( i hate rating ). Now i haven't go out for a month but deep inside i know how easy it is.... I was the most unpopular kid on school and i was insecure tho i was good looking - after a while i began studying social interactions. from 0 GF's to 4 GF's in one year... all hot girls while most of them were fucked up tho.

It's all belief ... i walked to that set of HB 10's and got rejected until one day i got injected and managed to fuck the hottest girl in there.
One day i got approached by a HB 9 and i had a relationship with her....
in 2 days i seduced a HB 8 and fucked the shit out of her....
Even on some bad days i managed to pick someone up !

But it's not about fucking it's about taking on challenges get out of your comfort zone and experience AA and so forth, that's why sarging is so fun because it's stepping outside your comfort zone.

You have bad days and good days... Who dares wins ... and it's not only having the guts to approach but also guts to go out and so forth.
Im ex-military and now as a athlete i endured hardcore pyshical and mental training - Same with PUA stuff ... BE RELENTLESS... go there and own that shit ! Have the will to put yourself to harsh training. The more you sweat in training the less you bleed on the field - after a while you even want to bleed on the field because of the lack of challenges.
HOORAH

1.im a chronic mastubater as well ... nothing wrong with that , tho i would recommend to not masturbate too much - my game is better when im horny as fuck.
2. joining this forum is alread the start of your journey, don't worry about working on certain issues - it will come with time.
3.you have limiting belief about yourself, you don't have the self respect to really think what you think, instead you think what other think of you.... stop thinking what other people would think because that's not important. just don't give a fuck
4. Awkward.. you perceive it as awkward , i cherish failures as much as succes - if it's awkward it's your fault and not mine.
5.Limiting beliefs ... sometimes your feeling good and sometimes not - find out what creates this inconsistency.
6.im sure you get blown out because of your body language

stop giving a shit ... do what you think and what you like.. stop giving a shit what others think of you - and remember simplicity is the key in succesfull approaching.

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AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
questions about herbal medicine here-vp582526.html#582526

I see where you're coming from bro. Here's what really helped me get over this. Ready. I stopped watching other people so much and trying to figure out what they thought of me, and I started to watch myself more, and really learn who I was and what I thought about me. I mean afterall, what other people think about me does not matter, but what I think about me matters a hell of a lot.


I started off trying to make a list of 10 positive things about me. Suprisingly, I couldn't even name 5! It was a pretty depressing and mind opening experience. So, I started paying attention to myself, especially in social situations. I noticed things I could have done better, but I didn't dwell on them. I spotted them, and worked towards fixing them. I didn't dwell on them. They are what they are. I know I can change anything about myself by staying disciplined. Everything I do today was learned, so I can always unlearn it and learn a different habbit. But I also noticed more GREAT things about myself. I realized that I am a fucking badass. I am a great person. I am the shit. I know that I am great, and no matter what anyone else thinks, that won't change.


A girl rejecting me is not going to change who I am. The way I see it, is it's her loss. I don't need anything from her, I don't need her to be a better person. I already have everything I'll ever need inside me. It's really a great feeling. You have it too, you just have to look deeper. Ever since noticing this, I've had incredible results meeting women, and I haven't even tried hard. If I put in the effort, I think I could crush at this.


Bottom line, is to stop worrying about what other people think about you. What really matters, is what you think about you. You can become anyone you want, you just have to spot what you want to improve about yourself and then do it.

happiness comes from within, other people opinions shouldn't control how you think

Not trolling you bud, but these are painful. A wannabe-surfer dude from Canberra try to talk intelligently about the L & R prefrtontal cortex development is just too funny.

Synopsis: His "revolutionary" method is to meditate on being successful and getting "in state," unfortunately spread out across an hour and a half of lousy video and bad jokes.