I really need your guys help on this.

My gf and I have been dating for about 10 months. She loves me and I love her. We would like to get married. For about the last 5 months she has been very pushy in telling me that she wants this specific engagement ring and planning out our wedding before we are even engaged. Not that there is anything wrong with this, but she is doing it in a way like this is what she expects.

A while back when we first had these discussions, I told her that I want to marry her and that I will do it when I want to not when she is tells me to. So different holidays and special days have gone by and I haven't done it yet. She gets really mad and stressed at me and thinks that I don't love her. After Christmas she told me that my deadline was until Valentine's day to propose. I don't know if she was doing this as a shit-test, but either way it stresses me out. And I also didn't propose to her today, so we'll se what happens.

I guess my girlfriend really likes to be a "control freak" in some ways. What do you guys do to handle women like this?

Thanks

women dream about this day for a very long time,the only reason why she is pushing hard is because she trust you and has taken you on your word,she has no doubt about loving you and she knows you love her juss as much,her mind is set to get the engagement out of the WAY TO PREPARE FOR THE BIG DAY!

the other thing could be that your relationship has come to a stand still,you still have great sex,you do things together and you seem happy but she feels something has to be in place for it to be a perfect relationship in your case engagement,it's a question of expectations you leading her to a place of rest"marriage"

this one is not a nice one but i'm gonna put out there,maybe she not thought about marriage but she has fallen in love with the idea of preparing the Mighty wedding, you can relate "remember when you found the community how it consumed you" that's how powerful planing a wedding is to women...

getting engaged is not bad or getting married, be honest with her.....tell her you want to be married,but tell her let's see the world as boyfriend and girlfriend, give her the reality of marriage the great things and the practical things buying a house,kids and the time you lose to really grow as a couple without a major pressure on the relationship

maybe i'm wrong juss look if any of these apply to your relationship

You've only known her for 10 months. My advice to you is to pop the question only with the condition that the actual date is a long time from then, like 2 yrs. If she wants you, she should be able to wait for it. Then you've got some time to see if this pushiness is going to evolve into first rate bitch or if it's just related to the proposal.

And don't listen to a single piece of "advice" from the wedding/jewelry industry that a decent ring is supposed to cost four months salary or some horribleness like that. A very clever trick I heard from a very clever guy was this: Give the girl a (nice) band at the proposal, and tell her she gets the rock on the wedding night.

Thanks for your reply's

My girlfriend literally gets really upset because I have not proposed to her yet. She questions my love and committment towards her.

She really likes to have everything planned out. My girl does not like when things don't go according to her life plan.

"the other thing could be that your relationship has come to a stand still,you still have great sex,you do things together and you seem happy but she feels something has to be in place for it to be a perfect relationship in your case engagement,it's a question of expectations you leading her to a place of rest"marriage" "

This is a very interesting statement. In a lot of ways you are right on. It seems like things have become a bit stagnent and getting engaged would freshen things up a bit. She really gets upset because we are not engaged yet.

"Then you've got some time to see if this pushiness is going to evolve into first rate bitch or if it's just related to the proposal."

Another excellent point! She only seems to get bitchy when she is upset or things aren't going her way. It is one of the biggest challenges for me is to get her to not be so bitchy at times. Of course, most of the time she is a great girl.

I hate to say this about her, but she is a bit emotionally unstable at times. When things are hard on her, she is almost impossible to deal with. Is there a way anyone knows how to deal with them acting like this?

Thank you

girls talk about that stuff, just do what you feel like, if you want to marry her down the road do it then, if not then don't, and it'll end then

I know that sounds harsh but girls talk

Geez louise, why do people get engaged to improve their relationship? Getting married is a commitment and a responsibility, not a way to "spice up the relationship"!

If it's boring now after 10 months, imagine how it will be after 10 years!!

When things get boring after you get married, are you going to have a kid to "spice things up" again??

Question: If you know you want to marry her, why not now?

I mean, is SOMETHING in your gut is telling you not to propose?

It may be that she is asking herself the same question "If he wants to marry me, why hasn't he asked?" - The logical conclusion to this question is "He is lying to me about wanting to get married."

Anyways, this has a 90% chance of being WAY off mark. Just thought I'd ask.

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