idk how to explain it ... i just feel SO sad, horrible, like a failure. I've never had a girlfriend in my life before, or even kissed a girl, All my friends left me out of there social circle completely, I've like 3 girls so far in my life. I fuk'd up all three times. 2day, one of the girls i like and i were at the same party(my sisters husbands party), and we were there for 30 minutes DIDN'T EVEN TALK. She went to some DJ's party. I look at that DJ, and he has it ALL. over 1,000 friends, girls all over him(even the one i like.). Then I look at me, and I'm NOWHERE. I'm a C average student, Joined soccer team freshman year, got kicked off. I'm Shy, get nervous around everyone even though I have positive thinking. I compare myself to other people, and I come up without ANY friends or girls. It just hurts you know?

I needed a place to vent, if you can help me in anyway can you?. :/

Ok sir,

It seems to me you've got a few of the old limiting beliefs going on in that awesome head of yours! I say awesome because I have no doubt that; thats what you are, why? For a start your actually GOING to these parties, therefore unless your psychic somebody invited you! Thus whatever you may think people do care and/or are your friends, family etc. As for this DJ chap......COME ON! Nobody has a 1000 friends! Lets be reasonable they hang with him for one thing....social status! That is he is a DJ he has some sort of control on the party i.e. if he wanted to he could put on some awful stuff like say The Smiths (they are good right....I dont know any bad music) and therefore he has power. He is therefore the one everyone has to be bit buddy too because I have no doubt he also has control over the bouncers at the club, and you dont wanna mess with that tribe! Shyness isnt an issue, girls like shy guys and I bet if you out....in fact you should do this! Go out and ask TEN guys to describe qualities of themselves they WONT mention shy as a quality.......... Now lets switch to ten females SHY is alot more likely to come up! As im on a rant lets keep up with this shyness thing. Its not bad, its protected you from many bad situations for a start! An example could be your shyness made you all nervous and shit at school whilst doing a talk so it made you rush through and made your suffering better or less! your shyness stopped you copying the jocks who where prating around at school so you didnt end up a beef head etc. I can go on! Dont think shyness is a limititation if anything shyness is good it serves a purpose, thank your mind for it, then ask your mind to just turn it off when you dont need it; the best way to do this is to go OUT and meet people. So in summary do it.......go out today go to a club go to a bar go to a libary etc. ANYWHERE and say hi to anyone........if you cant do that join a club, start salsa, take a verbal communication course ANYTHING to get you out there meeting not people; but FRIENDS YOU HAVENT MADE YET!

In summary welcome friend! Fancy a cup of tea?

Spark.

I was sorta in the same boat. One thing that really helped me was lifting weights, confidence can come from knowing you can snap any of the guys in the room in half. Get a good program set up, lift hard eat well. You messed up with three chicks? I mess up with three chicks a week not a big deal. Fucking LIFT its a great outlet for all that pent up whatever it is, plus guys who work out can be pretty awesome lots of friends have been made in gyms.

I agree, lift, do something that requires energy and makes you think" not alot of people can beat me at that"

Get some self confidence, also agree nobody has 1000 friends, it's social status, people wanting to look whoo and look like they're his friends. Keep your head up.

Have you read "The Game"? If so, pick up the "Mystery Method"

I dont know if i agree with starting with pick up material right off the bat. Your inner game is pretty damaged from the sounds of it (dont worry most of us have been there). The key is building up self confidence and there is only one way to do it. Learn to feel comfortable in your own skin. Common saying, who gives a shit what everyone else thinks. Take that into all of your considerations. Pretty soon you will be making all of your decisions with the question "How is this going to help me?" Not, will I look better if i do this. If you are a nerd, be a proud nerd, I went sarging with a guy dressed up like a big ass geek and he had more success than i did with my rockstar style.

WORK ON YOU INNER GAME, check out Tony Robbins, that dude is pretty sick.

_________________
What a dick! Right!?!

Hey Bro,

I wanted to post a reply to this because I was a lot like you in Highschool... I'm 27 now and boy have I changed. So can you.

So here's some pointers that can help hopefully:

1. Don't get worried about your age and your lack of success; the great Mystery didn't get lose his virginity until he was 21... even Adam Lyons, the #1 guy in the world didn't start studying this until he was about 25. Style from the book 'The Game' was 30 or 31... you have PLENTY of time.

2. You CAN overcome shyness. I did. I was very shy.. now people can hardly believe it. What it takes is doing little things that are out of your comfort zone, not PUNISHING yourself when you f-up... because believe me, you will. EVERYONE does. Just start small.

3. Realize that highschool is a very closed environment. Any anxiety will be higher because everyone DOES know everyone else practically in high school.. this is NOT so in the real world; in the real world, you're anonymous, so you can fuck up and no one else will know. It doesn't matter.

4. I recomment a bootcamp when you're old enough and can afford it. I took Adam Lyons bootcamp a couple months ago and wished I would've had the opportunity to learn this stuff about 10 years ago. It was great and you learn a lot and it shows you whats possible.

5. Realize that there's ALWAYS another girl. There are so many hot girls in the world you can't even fathom it... that's why its even possible to get good at game; there's SOOO many to practice on that, in terms of "game", they're literally disposable! You will talk to hundreds, probably thousands of women... it will take a lot of mistakes to get good and get the experience that you need.

6. Also remember - no one can make you feel like shit without your consent; if something doesn't go well or a girl is rude... its because she's not very cool-- it has nothing to do with you.. and think about it- how could it? a person that has only known you for a few minutes has NO IDEA who you are or what your life is about..

7. "Compare leads to despair" stop comparing yourself to others.. there will ALWAYS be someone who has more than you and there will ALWAYS be people with less.

So, be patient man... you have a lot of experience ahead of you. My best peace of advice would be to focus on what you like about yourself, don't waste too much time studying every single 'guru' out there... (I think David DeAngelo has some great advice for a base level of knowledge, then I reccommend Adam Lyons for all the rest) ...take ACTION everyday to talk to people... start slow and build.. just say 'hi' to people that walk by for a while till you get comfortable with that.. then say hi and make a comment... then say hi and make a comment and ask a question.. keep doing that until your comfortable talking to strangers. When you run into sticking points, which you will, ask guys on this forum for help.

Most of all, just be patient and hang in there.

ooowww poor you. Try and do something with your life. Punk.

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If you have no constructive comments or a valid input for a situation in a thread I'm sure people would rather you say nothing. That aint nice.

tony robbins said, the root of our problems comes from too much analyzing ourselves and too little focusing on other people and how we can contribute.

But im ejecting right now...do wtf u want

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Great advice by Chelios above. I would follow it.

For your confidence boost, you need to clear your mind of negative thoughts of yourself. Be happy with who you are, and it'll show through with a high self-esteem. Confidence is not something you are born with. Self-confidence is gained through experiencing small successes in life. Even though feelings of failure or feeling overwhelmed can take a direct hit at your confidence level, you can build it back up.

Don't compare yourself to others to highlight your shortcomings.
Nobody is perfect, so don't make perfection your goal. The goal is to feel good about yourself in your own skin and being true to yourself.
Get involved in an activity or exercise program, that should lift many negative thoughts you have by keeping you busy.

It has to do with an inner connection. Confidence means to confide within ones own Self, rather than to be tossed about by outer circumstances.
Good luck kid, I think you will be fine
-Cold_fire