I'm meeting a girl tonight who I tried to date over a period of more than a year - bit of a case of one-itis, we went out occasionally to the cinema, theatre, dinner, AFC places. Recently she asked me to her birthday party, and I find she's got a boyfriend. A mute, muscly himbo. I know she felt strange about me finding out, because she was looking at me for my reaction, and since then she's repeatedly asked to meet me; I presume this is meant to be the beginning of being 'just good friends'. I've used Style-style false takeaways to avoid seeing her ("Sorry, I've got to watch the football"), without being obviously sore, bitter. Tonight I'm meeting her, probably for dinner, drinks. I've been down this path before, I could easily fall into the trap of being a great mate. I'm keen though to keep the tempo up, sexualise the conversation, surprise her. Any tips?

HAHA, I've always used the term "Mimbo"

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"We are what we constantly do. Therefore excellence is not rare, but a habit"

Hey Paradox. I know you didn't mention you were hurting, but I can tell you're feeling some pain. I'm glad at least that you've diagnosed it as one-itis - cuz that's all it is. My question to you: is she worth this bull$hit? Is she worth spending time and energy (not to mention the cash) on? If so, it's time to get your game on. It's time to show her your worth, your value as a man, what you can offer. Also, it's obvious that she is questioning her commitment to the himbo, or she wouldn't be putting some time aside for you. IF SHE'S WORTH IT, you have to put all your black chips on the table and make it happen for yourself tonight. Keep your chin up, confidence, don't sound desparate, and most importantly, keep your self-respect. She's only a girl. There are literally billions of others in this world to choose from. Remember that.

Appreciate it Game Boy, nice powers of analysis. I am hurting, I have to acknowledge that. I slightly fell into the trap of being a friend; though I did set time constraints - sorta. It's a long learning process for me. There are thousands of desirable HBs out there. Gonna get out practice my game. See you in the field. Anyone who wants to join me I sarge in west/northwest/central London, email: gabrielbbrown@hotmail.com

mate I feel you on this one. I've been in a very similiar scenario as you have except I've never really met the guy. I understand where game boy is coming from about how there are heaps of HB's out there but sometimes you get trapped into the one you cant have... which just happens to be the same techniques that most of use to create an attraction to women.
Well a good indication of "just friends" from my experience is if she talks to you about her boyfriend problems alot. If she does, just stand strong and tell her you're not there to be her psychiatrist and show her a good time to get her mind off him and give her an insight of what it'd be like to be with you. It is a good way of showing her that you're not there for "just friends"

Hope that helps you and goodluck

Paradox, man, I know exactly what you are going through. the very same thing happened to me years ago. Use this as a learning point, reflect on what happened that made you become the friend and that muscly guy be the man. Stay away from her a bit more and hopefully she can come and look for you after some time. get another girl and show her you are worthy of attention and that you are desirable to other HOT women.

good luck bro.

Paradox, I just came out the same thing but as soon as we get a string of gd looking girls i think we should be fine. i'm definately up for sarging in london. How old r u?

well, sometimes you can just be sex friends... She's probably attracted to you, otherwise she wouldnt be inviting you over. Dorian's right, get another girl, girls are more attracted to guys that other chicks run after... Thats not my theory, I read it somewhere...

see ya and good luck
may the force be with you

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Lord Steve Farell