Regarding contacting her, I didn't make any the day following that night. We had some flirty texting while she was drunk and I left it at that. She contacted me a few minutes after i posted so it seems like things are fine.
No, there weren't any signals. As you said, I think it was caused by mixed emotions and thoughts. She's told me of people back in her hometown who have tried to get with her for sex only. This might have caused me to have those mixed thoughts.
The ideals I have regarding a relationship are: respect, communication, and balance.
I expect myself and my partner to follow and maintain these values throughout the relationship. I have made it clear to her that I desire to be with someone who will agree with these values. I'll expand a bit on these:

Respect - how one treats and conducts one's self around the other. This includes trust and loyalty, although those two are similar to each other.
Communication - I like it when my partner speaks her mind. I've noticed that a lack of this causes many relationships to fail, which I find quite saddening.
Balance - I tell her that I want a balance in the relationship, meaning I prefer the power (not the greatest word..) in the relationship to be equal. However, I do lean it more towards myself since I am in the man in the relationship.
this is interesting, i'll be waiting

Dasani
yes this causes mix thoughts ... we are unconciously social creatures and we learn socially, some girls break up because their friends tell them their BF was cheating or playing another girl. I once had a relationship and i sabotaged it by unconciously adapting behaviour with the emphasis on human instinct. Whatever you hear or people tell you about your GF or relationship in a negative way - Don't listen and don't act. since all relationships are based on learning socially we often learn things we don't need at all.

what your GF is telling you = people tried to have sex with her but she turned them down, it's her way of telling you ''im loyal''. most guys see this as something which is fucked up ''prone to cheating etc '' while in most cases the girl tries to convey trust.
here you are quitte contradictive, ''power'' is a bad thing in relationships because when things arise like : ''she had many BFs , or she did something you don't like'' you feel more emotional loss. The more power you have The more you will get hurt/unstable when you lose the power, i once had 90 % power in an relationship and it killed the relationship by me turning chode when i lost ''power''.
It's ok to give away power sometimes BUT do realise your giving it away - So you can take it back to balance when the timings right.

About the social learning thingy, when something is in the newspaper about a car crash, and your Gf tells you it hasn't happen - you won't believe her and you will believe the newspaper. Same in relationships we often are pressurized buy social pressure, and the enviroment we are in - if all your friends tell you your GF is a slut you will probably unconciously treat her like one.
For your mindset : break loose from social conditioning and try to seek validation internally, above all - all things you learn from social learning ( even unconciously) - take it like they are suggestions.

Second hand Experience : Learning from other people without experiencing yourself thus not fully understanding the process.
first hand experience: You experienced something which you build your beliefs on.

Second hand experiences always confuses people ( like people telling you your GF cheats or something like that ). because we are social learners(evolution) we often follow the second hand advice instead of our ''First hand experiences'' thus creating a weak confusing moment. If your GF is the cause it will be even a more confusing event because you are emotionally attached.

I don't support peoples ( doctor phil etc) relationships advice and stuff , especially people who are in their first relationship often use second hand experiences. Using these second hand experiences often creates conflicts because they use mindsets which is in conflict with their own personality. It's like looking like a clown but acting like a gangster - everyone will tell you you are a fake clown. Everything is suggestive Even my advice is just an opinion, Therefore the only goal of my opinion is to inspirate people into new creative ways of thinking - and not giving them a new mindset through second hand experiences.
you don't have to break bad habits or anything, bad habits often got some advantages as well - Just be aware.

power in relationships When you have the power in a relationship and part of your relationship values are based on Second hand experiences, you will only do bad things. people often say they are feeling bit chode or feeling a bit worried - that's just because they use values which are not fully part of their mindset ( using second hand ). the problem is you can never be immune to second hand influences because you have a girlfriend and she will always influence you with second hand information. that's is why some people change in realtionships - not because they change themselfs- but their partner change them by influencing them with their values. This is the reason people get more distant fomr their own inner game ( often seen as power loss in a relationship ).

suggestive mindset : Keep this in mind ( into your toolbox), a relationship is all about you. It's a test to find out who you really are ; if your GF pisses you off will you get angry, dissapointed , or will you act cool ? which traits represent you ? if you encounter a problem use some self reflection instead of pointing the finger to someone else - pointing the finger to someone else is only agreeing with thier mindset because guilt/blaming is agreeing - ''he's right he acted so he must take the blame blablabla''.
Everytime your GF points fingers at you it's because you have the power, she's following your values because to BLAME you have to AGREE in the first place. first you promote a soldier to a general, so he can take charge - but when shit hits the fan we all blame the general. Therefore don't judge and don't pull off conclusion too quick, the one who is flexible will lead the relationship even when he isn't aware of it.

Taking charge : if you have more power you will have more responsibility... i hear guys saying '' i want more power in my relationship''... the more power ( responsibility ) you have the less you can relax and enjoy the moment because you will analyze/consider/think about anything to maintain in power ( waste of time ). To me taking charge is investing in myself only BECAUSE the best gift i can give to my GF is a wonderfull BF, i try to develop my inner game to a consistent high valued one, so she can count on me whenever she's in trouble.
( part of relationship is about you mindset )

one thing i've also learned : your gf only allowes you to love her as much as she loves herself, same with trust and so forth. Giving to much only cause your GF to grow more distant and drive you away from her.

i like to go in deeper but i don't have the time right now, i also see other questions.
peace

_________________
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Libertine Aim

checkfigure1 has a good suggestion, tho don't see it as a hardcore shit test.
First of all : if you had sex every day for about 6 months then i have to say your probably good in bed. (or good enough ).
what im going to say you must keep for yourself, don't confront her with this directly.
She wants to get pregnant ..... or has been thinking about it,in the worst case : maybe she is pregnant and she wants to know how you react the disease she is referring to is pregnancy

now this could be unconcious behaviour which creates conficts with concious thoughts or emotions. but above all ... she's too emotional - don't take it seriously woman sometimes have a bad period , this could be a day to a month. one of my Ex-GFs cried on front of a soap(Tv show) she was emotional and we didn't had sex that night and she began crying and shit.

When people are emotional don't go in depth because they aren't rational anyway - they just come up with emotional bagage which is useless in the frist place. I think it's not your problem and not your fault, the best thing is not to talk about it or not to be around, just give eachother some space.

Just in case: you probably think you're not good enough in bed or something, i think this is not true. However you could watch some educational TV shows or read some books about sex - it's always good to come up with new things. ( don't turn into an obsessive sex machine ).

Really i think you have nothing to worry about.. i had GFs who cried about their hair, GFs who cried abouts soaps, GFs who cried about college or work. Just support them and don't go in depth - be as solid as a rock - one thing that is common is getting no sex. Just go do something fun this weekend.
BTW i recommend you to watch a movie with her ; it's called ''before sunrise''

peace

_________________
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complex situation...... i can't give advice on the kids and ex-fiance thing but i see some red lines when you mensioned the abusive relationship. it's complex so we must keep it as simple as possible.

1. Every girl loves their ex-BoyFriend...Hate and love are both the same - hate is just a different form of giving attention.
2. She feels an emotional band trough her children, it's something we won't understand.
3. She still have these thoughts of them being together in the perfect relationship ( victimized thought patterns ).

I can give you some advice based on my own experience, my latest ex-girlfriend (was a psychologist) was abused for about 2 years by her ex. People like these really test your patience and do impulsive things like sudden thought/opinion change BUT do realise they really have a hard time themselfs. my Ex-GF was a psychologist she really knew how to hide certain emotions and behaviours.
i also recommend you to talk to a therapist to get a extra opninion.

i have replied to dasani, read the above text about second hand and first hand experiences. Your GF got the second hand values beaten in to her.

Lining up questions :
1. Why does she have sudden changes about her opinions ( loving her ex etc)?
2. Why does she want to relive the past and take him(the ex-bf) back?
3. How would she be affected by enduring abusive behaviour ?
The core question : .

Simplification:
question 1,2 and the core question have one thing in common ; they are all created in her reality, from her beliefs --->resulting in certain behaviour
3 is kinda different and is an result of external interference.
so im going to talk about :
1. her frame of reality
2. The results of an abusive relationship
3. Victimized thought patterns ( very complex )

one thing you should keep in mind: This is a delicate and complex situation, certain mindset that im presenting ( if you oppose them to her ) could seriously affect the relationship she have with you and her children. ( if she changes her mindset it could have a domino effect on the people around her who are dependent on her). my suggestion/opinion is for your eyes only.
The rules i am suggesting with this information are :
1. This is for your eyes /ears only
2. Don't talk about it
3. Stop talking about her last relationships, just pretend like it never happened
4. Accept her for who she is right now , because she is changed by certain situations she endured. Things she says could be not coming from her but from certain emotions/memories and bad values she have learned from abusive behaviour. Things she says ( which hurt you ) is not always really her, these are temporarily emotional tornados.

what im writing could look much but it's massive simplification, im even letting things out because they could change your mindset so much it would affect your relationship in a negative way.

her frame of reality : hard to talk about because i don't know her but il try.... Her former relationships and certain thoughts have created values through First hand experiences. Since the beginning of the relationship she applied these values in some way ( subtle ways ). to be completely direct : her values even not fully visible are very fucked up. She was abused for about 2 years ? ( abusive relationship for about 2 years so i assume ). Most of her values are wounds with bandages on it , they are not healed and this is communicating into your relationship- you said she didn't give much back right ?

When you love someone and that person punishes you for showing love or certain positive behaviour you learn to not show or invest anything back. ( social learning check the reply for dasabi above ). Sometimes woman like to get punched or abused because they are the most comfortable with that reality.
reality Her values/ beliefs from a relationship perpective are based on past experiences - fucked up values from that abusive relationship etc. In short terms; If you fit into her reality she will accept you, However if you don't fit or behave according to her reality frame she will create more distance/space. If you act negative you could give her stability on short term but on long term this destructive - remember she has been in an abusive relationship for 2 years. If you act postive like giving too much love or investing too much she won't like it either BECAUSE it doesn't fit her image/frame of reality - she got different ideals.
From my experience Girls only let them love you as much as they love themselfs, if you love them more than they love themself she will push you away.

When you are being nice to your GF she could dump you after 2 months.. this happens too many people. The girls often say : '' i don't think we fit together '' '' or your not what im searching for '' You are not congruent with her frame of reality/image. sometimes this grows into a disease or obsession; they want the perfect partner - especially people with abused history because they are very afraid someone is the same as their abusive ex. This prevents them from investing, this prevents them from finding a good partner, this prevent them from improving their inner game because their hole in their soul will grow bigger - especially hooking up partner after partner. After a while they create the unconcious thought of needing someone (their inner game is screwed )

People who are abused: ( most prominent charastistics in relationships)
1. Search for the perfect partner
2. Think they are victims of life, and even have sympathy for the abuser
3. seeks attention through negative behaviour, sometimes it's only confirming when their partner think it's negative behaviour.
4. they seek external validation of their (partly) screwed reality
5. Unmotivated.... they want you to be supportive and motivated but they will also become jealous when you are.

not confirming her reality/thoughts will make her push you away.

2. Results of a abusive relationship : Could be disorders created through enviroment who disort their being.
most disorders and charactistics ( depends on age and level of abusement :

Lie when they don't need to, Lying was probably a tactic to survive at home.
Have difficulty with intimate relationships
Expect others to just "know what they want ( perfect partner syndrome)
Over-react to things beyond their control
Constantly seek approval & affirmation
Are either super responsible or super irresponsible.. from my experience often a combination of the 2.
Blaming and courses of actions without thinking about the consequences.
Very judgemental and expect their partner to be non-judgemental

basic needs in a relationship ( severly abused people ) :

The need for good will from the others.
The need for emotional support.
The need to be heard by the other and to be responded to with respect and acceptance
The need to have your own view, even if others have a different view.
The need to have your feelings and experience acknowledged as real.
The need to receive a sincere apology for any jokes or actions you find offensive.
The need for clear, honest and informative answers to questions about what affects you.
The need to for freedom from accusation, interrogation and blame.
The need to live free from criticism and judgment.
The need to have your work and your interests respected.
The need for encouragement.
The need for freedom from emotional and physical threat.
The need for freedom from from angry outburst and rage.
The need for freedom from labels which devalue you.
The need to be respectfully asked rather than ordered.
The need to have your final decisions accepted.
The need for privacy at times.

This doesn't mean she needs every basic need or she lives up to any type of noted behaviour. My ex-Gf endured severe abuse and correlates/fits to everything i noted above.
the definition of love is sooo different for such people, they often confuse love with anger and other emotions, in the end they feel empty and can't into a relationship. Love and respect or love and memory could also be confusive, they often hold on to memories of things which took place before the abusive relationship.

victim/ victimized thought patterns : They often see themself victim of live, they think every action good or bad is justified and often they try to justify their actions( it has alot in common with disorders like borderline, bipolair disorder). The biggest problem is they often see their partner as a victim as well, People who faced severe abuse often have ''stockholm syndrom'' ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stockholm_syndrome)
Don't be a therapist or psychologist and don't confront her with this... i tried it with my ex and it didn't work out well.

Unwiring has to take place: but it's a long process, you can't force it because if you confront or take her out of her reality ( reality crash ) it's the end of your relationship, Of course it can work out well but it's a huge risk. meanwhile you have to accept the fact she isn't investing much into the relationship because she does not have enough to give right now.
Im already going way too deep right now....so i cut it off here.

Balancing the relationship is almost impossible because she's not balanced, her inner game is not balanced because she has her own problems.
you either accept this flaw or not, if you accept you must be non-judmental and don't become frustrated or angry. Even if you're acting to action and accepting she can still get emotional-overloaded and terminate the relationship.

1. be who you are and don't let her reality influence you ( be solid rock)
2. accept her and don't be judgemental
3. be supportive but don't give external validation
4. if she's lying, mind changes don't confront her and don't be angry - if you get angry/frustrated you only give her confirmation.
5. have patience

these are all suggestions, i don't know her and i don't know the full story. im kinda putting a worse case scenario in here. My ex-GF was forced to take drugs, endured physical punishment, locked up in a room, was threaten/cut with a knife. so i draw my experience/suggestions from a severe shocked/abused , person/relationship. notice the age factor, my ex was about 19/20 years old when she got abused. Older mature people are often less affected(in most cases).
there is also a difference in verbal abuse and physical abuse.

peace

_________________
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I will def have to read this again. But i do see some very telling lines of thought here.

I constantly have had to battle against her "reality" of the situation. She believed that i would leave her as soon as we changed cities and cheat on her constantly. When i challenged that reality she broke down and admitted she was messed up.

The problem is my own emotions have added to the situation, losing my mother...leaving my only home and striking off with her in a strange city has left me in more need from her than i thought. I find myself craving her attention and approval. Then being frustrated when i dont get it.

Deltafoxtrot

Her reality broke down; meaning the values she got from last few years are obliterated ( most of them ). However she can re-frame herself to old values picking up the old ones out of self protection.

anyway she's messed up , and messed up partners(especially one with history of abuse) need a stabile partner, she has kids as well - that's an added stress factor.
to be honest im not worrying about you guys, im more worrying about her kids because if she's temporarily screwed up guess what her kids will sub-conciously copy ; her behaviour.

il bet she's living through values of fear , afraid you will cheat, afraid you will leave her - it's even possible she tries to manipulate you in getting you emotional attached. IF you keep craving for attention you only will get negative feedback ( mostly).
you had a major change in life, losing your mother, moving to another city of course it's logical you need some support, but you don't get support because she's bussy with herself and is in her own head.
When you show one of the behavioural charactistics abused people expect you to show you will get rewarded with behaviour etc, everytime you act outside her reality in a positive constructive way she will notice it.
She is the weakest person in the relationship - she won't give you something unless you stop expecting it, expecting an outcome is always frustrating because the outcome is always different than we expect - the thing is if you want something you expect something, if you don't get it your expectations will shift to breaking up or showing negative habits over a certain period of time AKA frustration.

Remember they want you to respond to their reality in some way even if it's broken down. don't respond, and don't comply just be neutral because when you give up yourself and you turn chode the chances are she will dump you.
She doesn't need you like ''i need your love '' what she really wants is more attention so you can put a bandage on her wound. and the more she gives back to you the more the bandage will come off.

one disease i mensioned is the perfect partner syndrome ( made up that name )if your partner is fucked up she probably wants to feel better and be better, thus they reflect this thought as a perimeter/demand when they search for a new partner. Even tho abusive behaviour gives them comfort ( it's something they know and familiar with, corresponds to their reality and values ) they search for a partner WHO WILL NEVER TURN out to be abusive, they want someone who is perfect.

they way my ex-GF left me there is more to it but i tell it very short and simple, she was a fault finder, she was trying to find out if i was lying about even the smallest things. She tried to blame me of having STD blame me of commenting compliments to other girls on myspace, it was ridicoulious because she tried to make the smallest issue into a huge one.
Even if if said i wouldn't she still would think i would cheat or stuff like that, you see ; it doesn't matter if you confirm it or not because you can't change their way thinking.
one rule i also made up = if she is abused for 2 years then it will probably take 2 years before those realities can be unwired ( start of the process ).
Me and my ex-GF slept together and the next day she told me she wants to meet my parents and want to hang around more to get me know even better, the day after she suddenly broke up over text messaging..... just out of the blue.... i tried to setup a meeting where we drink a cup coffee and talk about it ( me be being mature) and she agreed to call me back... she never called back tho.

few days later she called me and told me it's not my fault and she doesn't know why she broke up - she cannot have a relationship right now..... a day later she came up with all sorts of crap to drop the ball at me like it was my fault but she had NO ARGUMENTS OR CONCRETE COMMENTS. i literally finished her off(killed) in the conversation. And what happens now is amazing, not confirming her reality and swallowing her in mine reality MADE her see how fucked up she is ( like you broke down her reality ) in a instant she tried to drop the ball at me just to defend her reality. She said im not genuine, i have STD and talk too much about it, she said im commenting too much on pics of girls on myspace.... (all reflection). I killed her off in the conversation she had no argument or no concrete valid point or reason on why she had terminated the relationship.
she became angry and the end she said : what loser i am and im immature...
i replied : at least i don't break up using text messaging.. immature behaviour avoiding responsibilities.

She was a psychologist and we had amazing mindgames, she had a fucking huge ego and tried to manipulate me in whatever but it didn't work. at the end she told me about 50 times she couldn't have a relationship she couldn't deal with it, i totally understood since i broke down her reality and confronted her with how screwed up she is. Guess what .... 2 weeks later she had a new Boyfriend ... the same fate awaits him.

1. She still loved her abusive ex and no matter how much i tried to help her or get her rid of thinking it, she worked against me.
2. No matter if you comply or disagree in won't work anyway, the best thing is to stay neutral -but even then she can go ballistic and break-up.
3. People like these are often seeking refuge in alcohohl or drugs .... my ex turned out to be a coke addict .... boyfriend addict to it seems.
4. People like this want to make you feel bad , they live according their ego, the are external validation seekers because that's waht makes them happy. forcing power over others make them happy as well as long they can justify it in their own mind.

about 2 weeks ago i text messaged her : i hope your doing fine, im not telling you what to do, but don't send me anything back please.

if she breaks up don't feel bad .. it's not your fault.....try to stay neutral.
and no matter how hot she is ( my exGF was HB15 ) if she sucks she sucks.
peace

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AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
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Hello,

I've been dating with my girlfriend for almost 8 month now. It's a long distance relationship, and we see each other every other month. At first I can see my spell working and she was totally into me. She is a very naughty girl, we talk about sex all the time. We had a few orals and BJs (but she wouldnt have sex) regardless how much mental block she had for her religion. (Her religion highly discourages sexual stuff before marriage), However I started to show my emotions and lost my cool and become needy after I fell for her, now I'm in a pro situation of showing emotions in relationship, and it's moving toward a direction that I do not want. I've bought her too many stuff and she gives back very little.

Signs that convinced me that my spell is wearing out

1. Calls less and less. Text less and less. And when I reply right away, she will not reply again after a few hours. Compare to how she used to be, she used to text me at least 50 text a day, and whenever I text her she replies instantly. But now sometimes when I text her she does not reply at all.I had to switch phone because she used to text me so much my phone space was full all the time.

2. We were going to get married this summer, and all of sudden she changed her mind and want to get married 8 years later, with the excuse of that she just thought about it and changed her mind.

3. She suddenly wants to have this drama of becoming good again, and she want nohing sexual to happen before marraige. Although she still talks about them all the time! And masterbates and asked me to buy her some sex toys (which I did for valentines day)

I feel like she has put her value for me into a "Provider" zone, instead of "Lover" zone.

A little about her :

She has Attension Deficite Disorder and Depression caused by the chemical imbalance in her brain.
I'm also suspecting she is a bipolar because she has mood swing easily. She is easily manipulated. She is a religious zealot. (Her mom is bipolar)
And I'm suspecting it really is her sub-conscious telling her that I'm not the one she wants.

I want to gain my respect and the control of the relationship back.

I'm pretty desperate on how should my current trajectory be for this relationship.
I really love her.
I'd like some input here before I've completely lost her respect and control of this relationship.

So I'd like to know how to restabilize and gain control of this relationsip again?

Update: So i was doing a lot better after consulting and doing some thinking about the situation. She called me and was nasty and actually got under my skin. But, she has to fly her mom back to live with us. Because i agreed to move out in six months she started treating me like a tenant, shes always had an issue with me being on the lease because she feels its "hers". She wanted me to move all my stuff from the master bedroom and basically have me sleep in the guest room and we won't be sleeping together anymore. And that if i could not do that she would leave.

So i told her i was leaving, i would leave before she returned with her mom from michigan and i told her i dunno where i am going or what i am doing. If i didn't return in 2 months....something probably happend to me. I shut down my Facebook and i don't plan to answer my phone as i just drive west to stay with a buddy of mine.

By the end of day she is already wanting me to wait before i leave because she loves me and wants to see me before i go. Why didn't i do this almost a month ago? I think now she will try to slowly climb back into my graces.

i wouldn''t accept this either..... you just stood up for yourself and keep standing up. if you love someone you don't threat him with leaving, she says she loves you and want to see you.... her ego just got hurt here, she didn't see that coming.

if you made up your mind don't look back, if you're leaving her - cut her out of your life meaning NO CONTACT, Let her solve her own problems... because when you maintain contact she will probably try to project the same problems on you again. she probably tries to be a victim talking about her ex and all that shit and blablabla, woman are always trying to move the blame to someone else.

if you stay with her and so forth you have to realize you will have to deal with the same shit no matter what.

_________________
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y382287

Aren't you sexually frustrated ? i mean i would fuck the shit out of her maybe it's the ''PUA'' in me, a relationship isn't all about sex but when you don't have sex you miss an emotional band.
Sex----> instinct --- > alpha ( evolutionary ) Holy fuck! marriage after 8 months ... ( facepalming ) Get that out of your mind, the reason you probably want to get married is to have sex with eachother.
(my opinion ) i think all this waiting isn't worth the hassle if she doesn't want to marry....il rather get a girl who i can sleep within 2 weeks. typical .... for a woman with an identity crisis.
you are a provider ......because you think and behave to it even allow her to treat you like that.

all the traits you are presenting here sound very familiar to me, they remind me of my first Girlfriend with borderline disorder. don't worry because she doesn't want herself , she switches to different opinions every time. her thoughts, emotions aren't lined up and il bet she walks through life without much consideration.

1. You got my respect ... 8 months without sex ... jezus....
2. She makes you desperate, her insecurities are reflected on you
3. If you really love her you shouldn't marry her at all, marriage after such short time (to probably have sex) is a bad idea.
4. A relationship without sex is always a provider one, not a love one
5. She doesn't respect her self like you think she does, if she doesn't respect herself she wouldn't respect you either.
you don't want to marry this(right now) .. beleive me, maybe after a few years

i've written so many stuff about subjects like this.... what im going to say sounds utterly bizarre and orthondox, -you need to fuck her-. you said she is easily manipulated, this work to your advantage.
many guys here will tell me to not give such advice....and most times i will agree. But when you fuck her you fuck all the wrong beliefs and bad things out of her life, you need to knock one pillar down to overthrow others. well i would have a chemical imbalance if i never had sex, if you fuck her her chemical imbalance probably dissappears and so does your frustrations.

Look you can't control people like this... trying to control them is like filling an bucket with a hole in it, i wouldn't even worry about losing respect. why are you afraid of losing respect anyway ? don't you respect yourself ? what does she gives ? like the sound of it you give wayyy more. The only way to control the relationship is to control yourself, if you are strong .. not needy and confident you won't be affected by her behaviours.
she wants it ... and when you escalate enough she will give in.... look i can tell you all these fancy tactics but they won't work unless you understand the principles AND the principles are too complex. Learning the principles would take several weeks before you can fully understand and apply tactics , giving you tactics won't solve anything because it's not who you are and it's not waterproof. there is no advice that looks like a magic pill , there is nothing that will make your relationship better in a instant. Psychologist often give all these fancy advice because they adjust to the demands of their clients and their clients demand the magic pill advice - they want to solve it instantly.
Even when you solve it instantly there always will be other issues.

she's as frustrated as hell as well , otherwise she wouldn't talk that much about sex, chemical imbalance i don't know but im sure you both are sexually frustrated.
try to fuck her, im serious ... be persistent.

_________________
AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
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She is coming over to my area in a month. I will give you a update about how it goes.

Right now I'm doing everything I can to make sex happen.

Any advice on that?

Yes .... Be romantic and give her emotional boosts. im gonna be little bit scientific here

Escalate physically --> emotions -- > sex
romance & emotions : external factors, concrete/internal factors

First of all do romantic things ( stuff that creates a -temporarily- emotional band )
light candels
music
watch a romantic movie

These are external factors in romance - they change your state temporarily - but you also have to give some concrete factors.
Concrete factors to me are physical touch, body language, context of speaking.... Kino is important ( touching) you ever got a massage ? You know how good it feels - however for men it's a feel good factor because nerves get stimulated, Woman experience way more emotional stimulation to touch.

(concrete)Internal factors come from you meaning you give her an increase of certain emotions created by touching/kissing and so forth. touch her on different place, begin with her arm , shoulder , wrist.. go the her back and belly, go to her legs and so forth. do it subtle BUT she is your GF so don't do it too subtle - i mean don't finger rape her.

few things which create a certain emotional spike in woman:

Food
Enviroment ( certain lights or scenery )
physical Comfortability ( a bed, on a couch etc )
Investment ( she invests in you thus is becoming emotionally involved )
Kino
Humor ( verbal and non-verbal)
Being authenthic (be yourself and go on/to original dates/places etc)

anway she's your Gf and you know what she likes, you know what creates an emotional spikes in her. Im not saying you should game her with PUA tactics m im only saying you need to give her major emotional boosts.
Foreplay is the key to sex ... really i had girfriends who were very rigid - but after 30 to 40 minutes of foreplay it escalated to sex easily.

However don't expect to get sex ... just have fun, maybe you get it next time or very soon if you're having a good time it will probably go smoothly SO don't fixate on it. We both know she wants it - go out on a date with her, do somehing which not include status, do something different something romantic. Go shopping( not regular stores, go to a pet shop), take a walk in the park, go to a restaurant, play guitar for her... do multiple things and kino her when your alone at home.
Don't go on a date for 2 hours only... The goal is to have fun and boost her emotions for several hours straight (preferably 7 hours). movies are good to ... i recommend you to watch the movie '' before sunrise'' (with ethan hawke). i personally escalate to foreplay ( later on to sex) when the movie ends - when she's emotionally affected by it ( im always affected as well..).

Im not telling you to use PUA tactis and stuff .... you don't even need that. I've found that most girls ( even girls i met in one day ) were susceptibel to sex after several emotional boosts/spikes. Therefore i can say GIRLS will only accept sex WHEN they had enough emotional boosts, ROMANCE is emotions. The best way is to be yourself and have fun, when you're having fun- she will have fun as well,
Like i've said she already wants sex with you so just be yourself go on a long date go watch the movie and HAVE FUN.

Don't act like sex is a big deal... she acts like it's a big deal but it isn't , don't talk about sex and don't judge it. Go with the flow...

The keys :

Hang out for a extended period of time , let her invest into you
Be romantic by using external factors to the max ( candles, music etc )
don't act like things are a big deal
sex isn't a big deal, don't talk about it or judge it
Emotional spikes ( several )
Emotional escalation for foreplay ( romantic movie and kino )
Dont do a short foreplay
REMEMBER she wants sex as well so don't worry about it,)Be yourself and above all HAVE FUN.

peace[/b]

_________________
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She finally crashed on the phone and dumped me because she wants God more than me.

Here is what happened.

She brought me into a ultimatum to choose whether I become religious with her or we break up.
(To become religious with her also means that, no sex for the next 8 years)

I told her I will not lie to myself about how I feel and I don't know if that church is real.

So she dumped me. She told me that she needs to make sure what she wants.

Should I move on? I resent myself that I couldnt save her from her enviroment. I had many chance that I couldve take it, and I know what I should've done, but I gave her a freedom to choose. If only I took it at that time, she would've moved out of her negative enviroment and start healing.
haha, the choice is so simple that its funny(move on), but I'm just having a bit hard time to move on.

she's insane .......probably the type ; if she was born in the middle east she would do suicide bombings.

let her ruin her own life... i wouldn't even look back, she doesn't want to be changed.
You didn't had sex with her... it's easier to move on when you had no sex, you sound like you already know what to do, so i assume you're ok.
if you have any questions or want to tell anything ; ask or write.
no sex for 8 freaking years ... o my god .......
you can believe in god and have sex , god gave us penis and vaginas for a reason - does she really think god gave them to us to not have sex.... STOP LIVING IN 600 A.D.....

it's indeed simple ... we all know what's the best it's so simple, i wouldn't let this girl ruin my life , she isn't worth it. I mean cmon .. we all want the best out of life , we want sex we want to travel and we want to say goddamnit. having a relationship with this girl would severly restrict your life, or prevent you from living life. you can get better girls ... really !

update : When you have a hard time - it's because you feel loss ... somehow you feel loss... because you (or unconciously ) think you lost something which represent you. Like the sound of it that girl didn't represent you at all. Having a band with god is NOT JUDGING anything, If you don't want sex because you prefer a band with god ; are you merely living up to man made religion ? or are you living up to god ?

The real defenition of god to me is me ... If god would judge people those people/events would never see existance. God allowed hitler to commit the holocaust and so forth ,god allowed this ... why ? God - certain events and the shift and timing in the universe allowed hitler to exist, If god would judge than there would be no war or war only. If you judge left or right you will not experience the opposite however all creation on this earth have a opposite side : love and anger, male female, to me this fundamentaly proves god doesn't judge because balance is in nature.

Experiencing god is NOT JUDGING anyone , even yourself - all material and lifeforms have somthing in common , if we break everything down we are all energy. If we are energy it means we are all the same and we relate throughout time and space, Science does not know what energy is - it's the biggest mystery since it cannot dissappear - it can only change forms to another type of energy.
Death is not the end .... if you burn a piece of paper if will turn into ash and the smoke will fly into the air - energy cannot be destroyed.

if god would judge humans then earth would already be hell .... BUT if god is energy then WE ARE PART OF THAT energy. We have all some god in us and you don't need to follow a man made religion to experience god. People who don't read bibles are often very succesfull and out of the box type of thinking people, if you read the history of catholic religion you can see it was a from of manipulating and controlling people for like financial benefits, they took spiritual readings and reframed it to control society.

There are alot of good sides on religion but the end case is ; spirituality is mistaken or seen as man made religion. BUT if you really find the spirituality in yourself - experience the energy to the deepest level and communicate with god in the present ( communicating by being present in the now, you inner game on a complex level ). Before you can really experience god one should not judge, the one who judge is merely unconciously thinking he or she is not worth it.

social conditioning is part of religion, people think their religion is better and think that god is on their side - they often have the image ;islam a satanistic belief. However there is no ultimate solution if you chose sides, sometimes goliath kicks the shit out of david and vice versa. Spirituality only exists if you give a individual meaning to it, not influenced by external beleifs from other people - you should seek your own principles without consulting others.
you either beleive on god
or you beleive in god and man made religion AKA social conditioning

I've been hardcore catholic, i've been muslim....the problem with those religions is they tend to have a common/collective principle - meaning your prinicple is based on ones that people created thousands of years ago. when you take things for granted things that your enviroment put on you - your mind cannot be free because you are following a invisible sheep over the invisible dam.
millions of people are following one invisibile sheep, religion does not know what is good for you. If religion is so good .. then why are there wars .. why does religion restrict and lay emphasis on narrowminded policies ? there are pros and cons there is no ultimate system.

The ultimate system is being free of mind and accepting yourself and your own created principles. Free of mind in :
science
social interactions
spirituality

the biggest inventions comes out of freedom, if you fixate on one it goes on the expense of the other therefore balance is the key. Balance is also flexibility and this is real freedom. Find someone who appreciates your freedom and these traits, people who don't want to experience mental/spiritual freedom don't want to be free -- > they want a immaterial prison because that's all they know, they rely on these principles they copied from their enviroment ,this restricting themselfs in experiencing and thinking. brainwashing takes form on multiple levels ... in religion on society in general and in politics, social conditiong IS created to get all human in one mindset - to all form one ( one of the goals of religion ) However this creates unsettlement because accepting this mindset is giving up yourself - your own individuality - therefore listen to your own soul and experiences.

Most people are afraid of this because they don't want to go through negative ideas to experience the positive - they rather want tactics from their enviroment so they can feel safe - a magic pill. learning tactics without understanding principles is useless - this is restriction of your own mind and soul.
Most people are in problems because they apply tactics whiole not understanding the underlaying principles, this starts from young age at school or conditioning by their parents. Parents want their children to learn facts instead of principles which creates freedom of mind - Knowing is not being , Understanding from your own standpoints is BEING. In relationships when people get problems they go to a therapist... of course there is nothing wrong with that - the intentions are good. However they expect a magic pill to instantly make their relationship better they expect some tactics/advice while they don't understand the principles at all. they assume a mindset of someone else..... therefore the realtionship won't be based on principles but on tactics and this is where most people go wrong.

The therapist could be religious , could be social conditioned as well ... he or she is just human and try to help you fromout their own reality.

Learn the prinicples of life which creates freedom of mind, if you have freedom of mind every relationship will be more intimate to god ( aka yourself and the collective) The relationship is more stable because YOU are being YOU
, instead of reflecting negativity you reflect more positivity. if you are rigid and you lean to one extreme you won't find the solution which is on the other side.
Judging is being rigid....
Most people who come and ask advice to other people is because they refuse to see the real solution themselfs, they don't have the freedom of mind which is quitte understandable because their whole enviroment has been working against them for years.

When you ask people about principles they often know nothing , they walk through life with a empty cup. They know the television schedule for next week but they can't name or don't know the principles they are living up to. it's sad....
Having self respect and self love is granting yourself freedom of mind - expressing yourself without being afraid of the consequences because YOU is BEING you no matter how weird it is. If you have self respect and love on this level you can also reflect it on other people.

My only goal in life is not to find out what life is all about - because finding out what life really is is just being unsatisfied with yourself - not knowing what you want and finding a magic pill or fixating. Life is also here when your're dead, certain things you left behind ''contributions '' will live on. therefore my only goal is to inspirate people to create this freedom of mind in their life and relationships BECAUSE many people are infected with self hate and restiction of mind.
Even therapists and psychologists i encountered were not free of mind and i think this is a huge blindspot in society and self/second help, my goal is to eliminate these blindspots and bring things to a higher level.

If you think of what i've written above and create your own version of prinicples ACCORDING to the ''real you'' / your own core '' you will do better in life and relationships in general. If i've helped you with inspirating or advice you don't have to thank me because external validation is not important to me - i don't have to receive anything from you for helping you ( if you master this as well you can convert the most unhealthy relationship into a healthy since your own energy is unlimited)
You attract what you are
And you behave unconciously of what you think of yourself

create your own principles of '' freedom of mind'' and you will attract better things in life.

peace

_________________
AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
questions about herbal medicine here-vp582526.html#582526