Hi guys...

I am 27 and have a 7 year old son. Going out out and meeting women is the easy part. The women i seem to be finding myself with are between 20 and 23. I think thats a fine age gap but its not good in a way that i have experianced in my past a longterm relationship ( 8 years ), and it seems to overwhelm them. When i meet someone i like i tell them of my past relationship with my boys mum and that it just didnt work out ect... I then get to my son and that seems to be somthing thats an issue. Not at first when they haven't met him ( out of sight out of mind ) but there comes a point where you want the person and the child to meet, that way you cando things with eachother, there are no problems with not being able to meet if he is with me... things like that. Obviously women with kids meet men and men adapt quite well but women seem to shy off and it can be somewhat a problem for a woman to feel comfortable with another womans child.

Is ther a way around this?
Are there easier ways of bringing them in to a introduction?

Please give your advice and experiences thanks.

I'm not sure if this is a part of game that you will find great advice on here..

But in my personal opinion you should be very careful introducing women to your child. As a 7 year old he is definitely very impressionable and may find it very difficult to cope with the introduction of more mother figures in to his life. This being said, if you are getting serious with a girl you should tell them as soon as possible about your situation. If she isn't okay with it, then you know that this girl won't be good for you in the long run anyway. If she is interested in being part of the child's life and is a girl you are very interested in becoming serious with, you can introduce them. My main point though is that you should definitely be very cautious with this, and it is beyond your control whether they get along or not, so don't try to force anything. Don't expect things to move too quickly in their relationship, because it is a situation that will certainly take lots of time to adjust to for everyone.

For starters: Avoid talking about past relationships. I know your son is probably a huge part of your life, and a direct result of your past relationship, but try to avoid the details of your relationship with his mother. I have two friends who have kids from past relationships and Ive found girls are more put-off by the thought of the childrens mothers, than the children themselves.

As far as telling the girls about your son. I would say just do it and get it out of the way. Do it in a tactful manner though- wait for a question that prompts that discussion in some way. If shes not cool with it at first, its probably not something she will easily warm up to, in which case shes probably not a good match for you at this point in your life.

When it comes to Introductions, unfortunately I feel there is no magic bullet. _Shifty is right, 7 is a very impressional age for a child. But all kids are different. My parents divorced when I was about 10 and my dad introduced us to his girlfriend. I was unaffected but my sister got all sorts of screwed up from it. What it really comes down to is how well your son deals with change. You can actually gage this fairly accurately based on small things, like painting a room a different color or buying him a different lunchbox. If youve ever moved thats a pretty clear indicator too. Kids who dont want to move, be it for whatever reason, are more sensitive to change.

Regardless, I would make absolutely sure before hand that the girls is A, someone you want to pursue a serious relationship with, and B, someone who you are certain beyond a shadow of a doubt will care for and be a positive influence on your kid.

Again- im 23 and not a parent, my advice comes only from seeing my sister deal with a similar situation when she was a child.

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