Hey guys,

I have met a really cool, down to earth girl that i am gettin on well with. She had a long distance BF when we met but she had had enough of the relationship and wasnt into him anymore... she stopped making and effort for him, fell out of love blah blah etc... They have now split up.

Now, i have been seeing her alot since mid Jan and think she is growing quite fond of me . Problems im having is;

A) She isnt very vocaly open about how she feels and what she thinks about me... Her actions pretty much say what i want to know though. Sometimes its nice to know where you stand and whats going on in there head!

B) We fuck like rabbits and its good... She is quite dominant and at first i didnt know how to handle that but i got to grips with all that now... Thing is that she talks about sexual things she likes and when she puts it across she says it as its something that happens with everyone she has been with before me. She has been in a 4 year relationship so i dont think she has been with all that many people but when she speaks of these positions or things she wants me to do it kind of puts me off. I am no angel and i have a sexual past but i dont put things to her in a way where iv got girls to do something and now want her to do it...

Am i being wierd or is that a normal reaction for when you like someone you ignore and block any thought of another fella smashing her prior to you meeting her.

In my eyes its an intinctive, Alpha trait that the thought of a potential GF getting fucked by someone else drives me a bit mad, puts me off, makes me feel over protective and slightly jealous!!

I tell her not to say things in the way she does and that i like the idea when i start out with any girl i like the thought she is "pure"... I know they have had experiances previous but i ignore and get on with a fresh start with that girl.

What shall i do as she seems to think its ok to speak of ex relations in that way and is comfortable about it... I on the other hand feel awkward speaking of ex GF and sexual experiances.

What do you guys think??

its actually good that she speaks about her sexual past.

If you feel awkward just tell her so

_________________
True communication is communion―the realization of oneness, which is love! ~ Eckhart Tolle

Hu...Mr Shade, Elaborate please mate.

I did say so but she finds it ok to waffle about it.

Why is it good buddy?

Bro, I know how u feel.

The girl Im currently seeing (my one-itis) had dated a guy for a year and a half. He was like 6 feet tall, mulatto, and he was her first time. Also, apparently he wore magnum condoms (meaning he was prolly hung). I feel like shit everytime I think about her getting pounded by that dirtbag...

I dont know how to deal with it lol, its just to tell u that ur not alone in this...

Thanks man.. I hate thinking about it.

I really cant see a pro out of talking about what you lked with your ex... Everyone is different and things should start as new when you meet someone, not as an extension of a previous relationship...

Drives me mad. Puts me off her a bit as i think its defo a sensitive subject in general. This HB is my Oneitis too.

Honestly try not to think about it.
My girl is such a decent girl... thinking about him doggy-styleing her is really not the funnest thought in the world so I do my best to just block it out honestly.

Dont think about it... thats the only advice I can give. I feel like I got punched in the stomach everytime I think of it but what can u do?

good luck mate

Mack

Seems to me like you want to make this one your misses.

You need to talk to her about the issue mate. Just bring it up the next time she pulls it off.
But in saying that, I also suggest that you ask her what she wants and how she wants it when yous are doing the deed. Because thats all she really wants when she talks about past experiences right?
As for feeling shit thinking about her with someone else. Thats just something your going to have to learn to overcome. Just think about it, nearly every girl has the same experience. This one just seems more vocal about it.

Goodluck
Keep us posted

Most of the time girls just need a push in the right direction, just be open and honest

@graplin

You are making a big issue of nothing. Just f**k her like there is no tomorrow and bring up the past sexual experiences on your own. Praise them, however, without giving her idea that she is not good enough. This will probably scary her off a little. At some point she may start asking questions of the type "do you miss something?". After sex go take a shower by yourself without asking her to join you. At some point she will ask you.

Once in a while tell her about one or two girls that were kind of crazy when it came to sex. Tell her also that these girls had nothing else to offer you except good sex. This will confuse her a little. She may start doubting her performance in bed. Than tell her how good she f**cks. This will give her confidence. A kind of push-pull in sex area.

Pretty interesting situation! Usually I don't get the chance to deal with this as usually I am the one who is seeding confusion when it comes to sexual performance. It helps attaching the girl more to you. The thing is that you even don't need to be an outstanding performer to pull this off. The reason is more of psychological nature and women (also men btw...like you!) respond immidiately to this.

You like to think she's pure, and it makes you mad to know she's had a past. Every time I read a post like this, I feel like you are a mis-matched couple.

I love it when a girl talks about past sexual experiences with me. It's a sign of trust and they want to share some exciting moments with you. It's also a sign of sexual adventurousness. She loves sex, loves talking about it, loves exploring it.

I think you are just of that mindset or you aren't.

I'm of that mindset, and your girl is, but you're not.

Just try to understand this makes her aroused and it's a sign of trust, she wouldn't tell this stuff to just anyone.

Obviously if a girl was doing it for bad reasons, like she was trying to make you jealous to get you to do other things for her, that's not good, but if she's talking about it with you in an excited way and in private moments with you, that's a very special thing.

I can't change the way you feel, but just know it's a special thing what she's doing with you.

And I will never understand the need for guys to think the girl is a complete virgin, and not acknowledge she loves sex and has done it before, I don't think that's an alpha mindset, I think it's an insecurity more than anything - maybe you are thinking some guy has or will pleasure her more than you can, or something.

I usually don't mind shared stories from past serious relationships but i hate hearing stories of one night stands or incidents like that.

The movie vanilla sky had a scene with tom cruse and his friend sits in a car. He said that its basically a horrible feeling when you realize the women you love was just a plaything to someone else. I guess thats how i feel about it.

I have always gone above and beyond sexually with my relationships, i usually hear how most women are disappointed in most of there previous sexual relationships in one way or another. So, its actually a boost for me.

But, yeah you dont want to have images of your girl bottoms up for another dude overall.

I believe you when you say you feel the same way as the Tom Cruise character in that scene.

But I think this is still personal perception. You'd be surprised - some of the sweetest girls I know, are totally cool with the concept of a one-night-stand. It's how they perceive it that changes everything. If they were sexually exploring themselves, have no regrets about a one-off mutual experience they had with someone, that's great. If they were depressed, and gave themselves up as a "plaything", then yeah, that's sucky to think about.

Ok heres the thing in todays world unforchantly it is acceptable for women to go out, get wasted, and spead there legs with a new guy every other weekend...It is rare to find a women who is not a "slut". The majorit of us will end up married to women who have multiple sexual partners and have tried some crazy shit!

Now If your gf was in a relationship with somone and they did crazy stuff or had alot of sex to be honest you cant blame her or get mad because she was in a committed relationship and that what people do in relationships is they have sex....On the other hand it is very disrespectful!!!! for her to talk about what she has done in the past with other men! especially if she knows it bothers you. She can tell you what she likes without telling you "I like this because...." she could very easily say "that feels good do that".

My gf once got in a convo about anal sex with two other girls when she was drunk...I was there and she said how she tired it and did not like it at all! what happend? I took her aside and told her the although I dont care if she doesnt like it I do care that she talks about being with other men in front of me and that it really turns me off! what happend? it never happend again! why? because I stoped it the first time it happend and didnt let it become a habbit!

I also can tell you that my gf was a bit of a slut before I met her (sounds bad I know but Im not stupid I met her at the bar) but she is 100% commited to me and we love each other, and that is really all that matters....its sucks knowing my gf has been with prob 10-15 other men and shes only 20 years old but that the way the world works in 2010....hope I was able to help a bit?

W-H-A-T T-H-E F-U-C-K????!!!!??

Do you guys (who have replied this mate) really love you'r own girlfriends???! - Wauw, you must be the plaything in you'r relationsship.
HELL yea it does! Why the fuck satisfie her like her old-ones??
Is it some fetish she got? Does she think about them when you fuck??
...sorry man, I will try to find the right tone now - just want to make my point clear..

-Man, you have to stand up for yourself.
She have to know, that you'r a new guy, new sex, new experiences - new adventures!
Otherwise she will fall in the trap, of still being attractive to her exes.
Think about it:
If you do exactly what her old ones did, she will start to think about you as one of them - and it's VERY important that she don't!
Be alpha - next time she'll talk about it react radical! Say that the thought of her being fucked by some other dude, wanna make you go smack him up!
Say that you have too much dignity to take that shit! (this is a VERY important line - I learned it from a female friend, who told me that if you say something like that, the girl will melt - Ladies loves men with dignity=bad boys!).
Then leave, make a freeze-out - SHOW her that you'r to proud for yourself (that you have to much dignity) to take so much shit.
I know it will be harsh in the beginning, but she will respect you more.
She will see you more as a man, and you'r feelings for each other will be radical stronger!

You don't have to satisfie her like the old ones, 'cause you'r a 100 times better than them!
Let her know!

Well, the comparison was to show why a guy might not feel too great about it. I know many chicks as well that seem to get down like that.

But, as a man i still feel that freaky shit in a relationship is ok......outside of a relationship is being a plaything.

But, sometimes the man in the plaything.....go figure