Ok so I'm in college and live in a college town apartment area ect. I was out moving snow around my car to get it out since I didn't have a shovel and this cute girls asks if I need a shovel. I said yea sure if you have one ect. She comes back with a shovel and I said thanks ect. and she says she'll do my windshield and I said ok thanks. So I start basic convo and chat for like 20 minutes and she lives nearby ect. I said we should hang out sometime and she said ok "i'll facebook you". I said ok but good luck remembering my last name and she was like your right and wrote her number down on a piece of paper I gave her ect since she insisted she write it down herself. Then we both went our ways.

I haven't done this stuff in a while like over a year with girls and I'm very rusty and trying to start fresh again this year. How should I approach this?

I was thinking either:

A. texting her "hey can I borrow your shovel again my car got stuck again " (since it really is sort of stuck after re-parking it) and then invite her to ice cream maybe later this week in person.

B. Call her asking her the same as above.

C. Or just call her/text her and invite her directly?

I like A since it doesn't indicate interest right away( and it opens up more conversation and I can take it from there ect.)

What would you guys think I should do? Call or text? and what should I say?

Ok so my first text was "Hey (her name) it's chaz, I have a quick question!". I can't keep her interest for too long before asking or I'll risk her flaking out. What is a good way to ask?

Sounds like she's already at least a little interested. Next time you borrow her shovel I'd just chat her up a little, try to make her laugh. Then right before you go your separate ways thank her again, compliment her personality and just ask her. Something like this..

"Thanks again, you're a life saver!"
Let her respond.
"I wanna get to know you better. You seem like a really _______ person. You should come grab some (lunch, ice cream) with me this Friday (or whatever, but be specific)."
Then when she agrees set up a time. "How does _____ sound?"

_________________
I never fail. I succeed at finding what doesn't work.

What actually happened was that I was able to get my car out anyway so that negated using A.

Instead I decided to try out my text game since most girls today text. I texted her last night (24 hours later) saying:

Me: "hey (her name) it's chaz, I have a quick question!"
Her:"hey whatsup"
Me(1 hour later after the super bowl): " I was making a bet on who would win the superbowl and wanted your opinion for reassurance, but I won anyway... Who were you going for?"
Her: " neither..haha we just bet for fun because none of us really cared!"
Me: "Yea same here, hey guess what!:-)"



And I was going to leave her hanging at that for the rest of the night if she responded but she didn't... I usually try to make sure they are the last to respond since girls usually respond but she didn't. I figure maybe she passed out (she was probably a little tipsy) but it's been most of today too with no response. That leaves me with several questions.

How often do texts not go through or are never received? (I figure very rarely).

I plan to just leave it at that and not respond again maybe at the very least weeks later if she never responds back since my personal rule is not to text twice in a row without a response in between, time to move on.

Any better suggestions?

If she does respond I was going to say something like

Me: "I forgot what I was going to say"
her: "oh ok" (probable response)
Me: "Oh yea I remembered.."
her: "what is it?"
Me: "I saw your twin on campus"

and just take it from there if she does respond but so far she hasn't.

Girls usually don't flake out if you leave them a cliff hanger right?

I'm still new at this any advice to what may be going on? I'll give it a few days.

No offense, your text game is weak. Limit yourself to 1 or 2 texts per day MAXIUM, the less the better(mysterious), let her initiate some and phone her asap, "I'm doing xxx with some peeps xxx day, you should come along" and the say i gtg.

Well so far I only sent 3 text messages total. She still hasn't responded and I have the feeling that she won't. Maybe it didn't go through? I've never had a girl flake on a cliff hanger before. Oh well, the only thing I can think of that I did wrong is that I number closed too soon and didn't build enough attraction and comfort, although she seemed comfortable. Whatever.

I have 3 questions.

1. What do you think I did wrong and what should I do next time?

2. What should I say if she does respond in the next few days?

3. Should I send another text next week or sometime much later?

1. Call way sooner. Texts are fluff, call them sooner and set up a date.

2. Act like it doesnt matter and unaffected

3. Dont text, call, no answer/ call back = forget it and move on

What's the deal with needless chatter? She can get needless chatter from her gay male friends, girlfriends, or the lady at her hair salon.

1. Hey, have you been to _____?
2. Yeah I hear it's great, blah, blah, blah . . .
3. Let's check it out on Friday.

In this situation , fuck all your witty lines especially that one about using the shovel again . Just text her simply "What's up?" . something like that , don't dance around with those text openers because it is just going to make it harder to finally text or call with "Hey we should watch a movie or something ". So go straight forward with it , in this situation anything that isn't getting closer to the point is a waste.

a simple "hi" works wonders



unless they never respond

Yeah she still hasn't responded since 2 nights ago and I was only 2 texts in, 3 if you count the last text sent by me an hour after she sent her's.

I was going to get to the point the next day because I was 99% certain she would respond to "guess what!" no matter how bad my opener was.

But she didn't and I can take it as a lesson. I personally don't think I did awful but not great either. If I could go back I probably would have chosen a different opener or maybe just a funny statement, not a question.

Just from my quick interpretation of her personality when I met her, I thought this approach while not the cockiest/funniest approach but somewhat interesting and non AFCish would work out.

Considering my typical AFC approach would have been something like this:

Me:"Hey it's Chaz, whatsup?"
Her: "not much, you"
Me: "not much, ect."


Oh well... time to move on I guess.

if you were the last to text then dont text her anymore. she may be busy, or forgot. wait a week, but dont text her when its up, thein if nothing then you should move on, but imo, you should always be ready to move on with any girl. its kinda hard to take your own advice though

What you just did doesn't even register on the PU scale. You might as well as have:
You have the gift of the gab and you're clever. Just grab some balls and go for it instead of dabbling with silly lines.

very true, and i'll keep that in mind next time. I actually might need to text her tomorrow to borrow her shovel again for my friends car. He is stuck in his parking spot and I really don't know anyone else with a shovel and I don't feel like buying one. 2 freaking feet of snow and they plowed us in our parking spots.

I was thinking of just straight up

Me: "Hey, I need to borrow your shovel again, my friend's car is stuck, are you available?"

obviously this time it's just business but it could present another opportunity. Although it also leaves her with the option to just not answer the above but at least I'll know how altruistic she is either way and I don't want a self centered girl anyway.

If she responds positively or I can see her in person then I'll tell her I need to go buy a book for my class and she's welcome to join (the next day or something). And I'll invite her in person.

1. Call her about 2 days after the number, from experience texts get a lower reply and negative response rate. If you call your leading this.

2. If she doesn't respond, Personally I wouldn't chase an further.

3. Just follow number 2, game a next chick.