I have just be in a relationships with a 8hb gal for around a month. In this one month everything is fine except one thing, that is, I realise that she is still giving her number to guys, going out with guys and recently she is going out with "A" guy that is currently still interested in her(and she know it). Her friends were also trying to help A guy to get close with my beloved. So, any suggestion how to keep her loyal to me, keep her addictive to me and how can i continue be her special one?

Sorry, but I'm going to shift my response to something completely different. I suggest you do some reading on inner game so you can learn how to conduct yourself and be more attractive to women.

I want to focus on the question: "Is she really that into you?". Think about honestly.
If your dating someone, you agree to date that person exclusively. Giving her number out and hanging out with "A" guy as you say doesn't sound like she is looking for a serious relationship.
To be honest, it sounds as if she is just staying with you for the sake of it

I suggest you confront her about these issues. Its not a matter of making yourself so irresistable to her that she stops all this flirting and focuses all her attention on you, its about simply being a man in the relationship. Dude this is a no brainer. Flirting = no no.

Goodluck

I agree with everything Micheal said. Looks like you want to be in a relationship, and that's great, if that's what you really want right now.

As the man in the relationship, you'll have to take the lead here. You will have to tell her exactly what you want in your life right now and how you'd like her to be a part of it.

If she doesn't agree with it, let her go, and look elsewhere to create this lifestyle with someone else.

As for the long term, trying to keep a girl loyal or using manipulative techniques is not going to lead to a happy and strong relationship. In fact it's going to do the exact opposite.

To have a great relationship, one must really learn to be happy without needing a partner. One should derive BASIC happiness by living their purpose, and the happiness that comes from being with their partner should be a LUXURY and not a NECESSITY.

Check out this quote by OSHO. It's very enlightening:
Hence, I feel working towards building a strong inner game will let you achieve exactly what you have mentioned in the title of your post: "How to have a stable, happy and healthy relationships"

In order to build a strong inner game, you'll have to identify your purpose and starting living it. Check out this article which I feel serves as a good introduction: http://www.attractioninstitute.org/what ... se-in-life

Hope this helps.

is getting his inner game better really gonna make her stop giving her number all around?

I guess what is the difference between being lonely and not being happy alone?

I guess my thing is, i can handle almost all other problems with ease. I am happy as i can be in my situation. Its the lacking of a great companion that seems to drive my happiness down. I would consider this lonely.

I am often lonely, but since i have been in a relationship....i am not.

My relationship is going bad and i find myself desperately trying to save it, and i am depressed and lonely again

Now i seem to bug her for attention, its unbearable to not hear from her or see her happy with me. What the hell is going on?

From my own experience, I used to feel exactly like you are feeling right now, until I found out that I wasn't living my purpose.

So I sat down and wrote the things I really desire in life. Not the things that I want because others say I should have them to be happy, but things that I really want. The things that make me feel butterflies in my stomach.

These days I feel happy since I'm spending my waking hours on building a great life for myself and doing things that I really love.

I also realized the important role your friends and family can play in your life.

I found out that I was relying on 2 close friends for happiness and support. This was severely limiting my options. The moment I started widening my social circle, befriending people who have similar desires/values/goals in life, I started becoming happier and more relaxed. I’m still working on this goal, but I can tell you, I’m already feeling much less lonely and a lot happier than before.

It’s great to connect with like minded people and hang out with them whenever I feel like I want to have some fun. It's also great to have friends to discuss the challenges you are facing and also to support them in return.

So I’d say, for basic happiness the following things are really important:
• Good health: Eating the right food and exercising regularly
• Meditation: For relaxation and a clear mind
• Following your desires/purpose
• Building a social circle of like minded people.


I’m sure once you achieve the above to a reasonable level, then you’ll only want a girl to enrich your life even further. But you won’t feel lonely or lost without a girlfriend.

But if you still feel you need a girl to be happy. Then I’d say continue what you are doing. Don’t hold yourself back.

Base your happiness on her as much as possible. And then feel the pain when you find out that she’s not the answer to your loneliness.

This is because just like you, she’s a human being too, and eventually she’ll do or say something that will bug you. Just like what is happening right now.

Also, pretending that what is happening isn't bothering you, so that you don't come across as clingy/insecure, is only going to make things worse. Because you'll have to lie to her and constantly battle your mind by doing something you don't want to.

Hence, I feel, if you haven't had your basic happiness covered, start working towards it ASAP.

I’d also suggest you pick up a copy of “The Way Of The Superior Man” by David Deida. It's a great book and should help you with the problems you are facing.

Good luck

No. But it's going to make it easy for him to see all the other options available to him to be happy.

Good info.

I have had a day to clear my head and kinda think.

My girl has issues resulting from previous bad relationships. I seem to date women like this often. I happen to fall in love /lust.....then i get hurt because i can give 100% effort to the relationship the the woman i am with usually cannot.

The the battle happens, i try harder to win that 100% by basically giving into and catering to every whim. But, i then feel cheated because i don't see it in return.

And thus comes a cycle of arguments because i feel this way and it usually kills the relationship

Previously i went through a heavy depression that caused me to do some erratic things that showed more desperation than anything else.

I am in a better place and although i am hurting i am not as hopeless.

But, i feel guilty because i sometimes feel as if i am causing my relationships to dissolve.

Sounds like you are finally developing standards for the kind of woman you want in your life. That's really good.

We usually think of the physical qualities we want in a woman and pounce on a women the moment we find one that she has the physical attributes we are looking for. But we don't pay attention to her non physical qualities initially, which are more important for a healthy and happy relationship.

I'd suggest you write down the kind of girl you want to be in a relationship with. And then work simultaneously on achieving basic happiness and dating women, until you find a girl that matches your standards.

Approach a girl you find attractive and then screen her to see if she's the kind of girl you are looking for. Don't compromise on your standards or sleep with a girl only because of her looks, unless you want to have a one night stand with her.

You won't feel disappointed for dating the wrong girl then. Even if a relationship doesn't work out, it will at least be due to reasons that you are experiencing for the first time. If things become unbearable for the both of you, gather what you have learned from the relationship and move on. This will make you wiser and help you fine tune your standards.

Also is it possible that the reason you are far better off now than when you were depressed might be because you have handled your basic happiness better than before?

As opposed to before, are there things you are really looking forward to in life or already working on achieving them?

Finally, I would like to leave you with a quote by Albert Einstein. It's something to think about for all of us who aren't as happy as we'd like to be:

"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."

all guys act this way out of fear of being alone ... they are just afraid their GF cheats/ dumps them and they are all alone.
you should be happy with yourself you don't need anyone ... if your dependent on external validation you will never be happy with your inner self.

develop inner game and draw happiness from within yourself... however most guys can't develop their inner game like this when like they are into a relationship or something. They first need to hit the wall before they fully understand the underlying principles.

things you reflect on woman are traits you don't have ... and traits you wish you had .... good looking etc. When i look for a woman i look for someone who is spiritual and very in touch with their inner game - sex is nice but i can have sex with everyone so that's no priority.
When i ask guys .. : '' what kind of woman are you looking for '' they often reply : blond,tits,hot,slim ..... that's the only thing they say because they don't know what they want in live for themselfs. They themselfs have no ultimate spiritual life goal so they seek people who share that same attribute.

you are afraid of losing her, because if you didn't give a shit you wouldn't be posting here.
you are afraid of being alone i guess... guess what ? the girl you have attracted share the same thoughts/attributes. She's afraid of being lonely so she keeps making contacts and keeps giving out her number to other guys. What you reflect in her are your own shortcomings or in some seldom cases the opposite of your shortcomings. if you want a girl to be addicted to you... dude .... if she is addicted you would get sick of her needyness believe me. Don't go left or right but go for the middle and keep things balanced. you aren't her special one because you don't know if you are her special one , you already assume your her special one meanwhile she could be fucking 5 fuck buddies over town. You are special becuase you are unique as a human being - don't seek her validation.
inner game guys ... all inner game

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