she isn't the type to bullshit you about love but is the type to sleep over with and sexually gratify other folk??
this is painful to watch, please wake up

double post OH IOI IOI .. joking .

Everyone sees it .... even tmg3......

i agree it's not that easy , i've been there and if you're personally involved it's hard as shit - it's like floating in a space station filled with shit. Im not telling you what to do, im only telling you what's the best thing according to my opnion. Meaning you don't have to break it off today or tomorrow, you decide anyway.
You know she loves you ? ok.... why do you have a open relationship and why the fuck is she telling you she blowed someones cock ? do say that to persons who you love ? What is her definition of love ? and what is your personal definition of love ?

the truth is you are taking her definition(personal meaning)of love instead of creating one of your own, you agree with al this shit and meanwhile getting frustrated because you let her decide the outcome + you are seeking for her validation.
don't seek for validation but give yourself your own validation ( inner game ) you don't need anyone. The difference between me and you is that i've been in multiple relationships and i have a way better understanding of the structures, i've made the same mistakes as you and I did not learn my lesson once - i learned it 3 times in a row. most guys will brag : but my former GF did this.... im like : my former 3 ex-GF's did this shit ( im not generalizing woman )
Your relationship values(not your fault ) are fucked up and this will emerge through your inner game.

dude do you really think it's your inner game issues HAH ! NOT REALLY. what does she do ? what is her inner game like ? she sounds like a hopeless manipulating bitch sending you messages like that, just trying to play around with you. WHO IN EARTH sends messages like ''i gave this guy a handjob '' CMON jezus christ, im not telling you to freak out and insult her or something - im just telling you shouldn't give a shit.
What your really doing is making your own reality .... based on wrong beliefs about love, relationships, and inner game. instead of seeing the collective truth and dumping her you refuse to see the truth. You tell me she loves you... she doesn't LOVE YOU like in ''I LOVE YOU'''you are holding on to these illusions - you even put up excuses like it's all caused by your inner game, and improving a relationship that isn't a serious relationship in the first place.
how do you know what love is ? how many serious GF's did you have ? if you had multiple GF's you would get a better understanding of love.

you have one-itis ... you hypnotized yourself in believing you love her and she loves you. you are allowing her to take advantage of you , if you have self respect and self love you would end this right now.
No matterwhat i say and no matter what im telling you you won't do anything with it anyway, because you refuse to see the truth and you want to stick in this reality. because you're just afraid your reality breaks down... your afraid to get hurt GUESS WHAT ? it's already happening.

I've been there.... i know it's hard BUT if you keep doing this... if you allow others to fuck you up you will continue stacking false beliefs until your reality get dropped and smashed. If you go on and on you will end up doing suicide attempts.. i've talked to guys like you and they said they understood everything i said , but refused to take action and after 2 months swimming in the shit they were suicidal. They didn't knew who they are anymore because what they really believed in ( their GF artificial-loving them, they thought it was real love) got smashed, they based their universe or core on their relationship which sucked in the first place.

im glad you see your inner game issues ; why you can't break it off.
if you don't know what to tell her ... then don't tell her anything .... just break off all contact. keeping contact will only hurt you more because according to your previous posts she's as manipulative as hell - she's an attention seeker and she cling on people until they are drained. It's time to get smashed by the guy with the hammer ... you probably will need 2 months of recovery time but it's ok.
over a year or so you look back and you will be laughing about this shit.

no matter what action you take - i respect it .. i won't laugh if you continue down this road, i will be like '' dude don't ruin your life''. Everyone ( we) are telling you the same story over and over - Do something with it .... TAKE ACTION .. LIFE IS TOO SHORT... invest time into yourself and find yourself a better girl WHO want a serious relationship as well. you will have limting beliefs like '' but she's the one '' but after i got dumped by my first GF.. about 3 months after i found a better one and after that one i banged a catwalk model. through all these relationships i've found blind spots in my inner game , nowadays i don't need sex.. i don't need woman im just happy on my own - i got a strong reality and i draw people into my reality. you construct yourself troughout relationships because they are the hardest tests ever. Be happy with yourself first - find your own reality and find your real best self.'
go read books go take hobbies ... develop your life style.
peace

_________________
AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
questions about herbal medicine here-vp582526.html#582526

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if you decide to talk and face the person

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_________________
AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
questions about herbal medicine here-vp582526.html#582526

Hi man, sorry for coming back at you so late.. been really busy these days.. Started engaging in various activities / hobbies that keep me busy and also gives me space when i need some time off from my girl ..
I am protective in a way that i often try to help her as much as i can.. but not just giving advice that will benefit me, but try to let her be happy as joyful as possible.
Probably wouldnt do so much for an ordinary friend.. i knew her before.. she is not only my GF but also one of my closest friends, if not the closest..

We can confide with eachother, i tell her stuff i wouldnt tell to anyone else.. which leads to her doing the same, thus building a strong bond between us.. And she loves it that i give her the possibilty to open myself to her so much.. Even if its a thing that comes natural to me.. but it makes her to trust me, open up to me, being honest ect - and she is not like that with anyone

this was not possible untill we starting getting exlusive, acutally in these weeks we started bonding like this

I try to stay as positive as i can be, cause i know, in a long distance relationship, atleast one needs to be strong - and i have taken that role..

Now, funny thing is.. she didnt go to the party anyways.. she stays at home a lot, and i always encourage her to get out . Not that i tell her she is a looser. But when she has the oppertunity to go out, i encourage her to go and to follow her dreams.

to the OP, I'll shoot.

Met this girl 21 now (I'm 29) in spain 3 years ago, had an intense connection, lost touch (both in relationships) blah blah. We re connect recently (long distance yea I know all the short comings) and start chatting all the time on IM.

Long story short we've talked once on the phone. She drops me messages and emails couple times a day but when it comes to me calling her she's got an excuse or says next day. I think eff this girl she's not interested and then she texts me telling me she can't wait to see me (supposed to visit next month).

So what gives, she in a relationship, living with someone? I brought it up a few times now and she gives me no straight answer.

I feel like a loser just getting this far into a E relationship but I travel a LOT and i thought this chick was different. I wouldn't hesitate twice to tell her to piss off but never got so much mixed signals in my life.

Thanks in advance

Bimm3r it sounds solid .. good job !


soflasurfr Can you trust her ?.... do you want to date or do you want to commit into a serious relationship, if you only want a date without expectations you wouldn't feel like a loser. the point is someone who gives so many mixed signals are often manipulative people and often they are aware of their own behaviour.
Do you want a relationship with someone like this ? you already know the shortcomings -like distance- so if you really want something going you have to invest more than a normal close proximity date/relationship.

what your telling me into this post is you are hesitating to invest because she sends off signals which conveys - not trustworthy -. in my opinion ... someone without perspective or goals is not my kinda girl, someone who doesn't even know what she can give isn't aware of what she have/has. You can't give what you don't have...... + i think you are way more mature, i think she's less mature because she acts like she doesn't know what she wants.

advice according to my opinion : drop the whole act, don't commit into a serious relationship and drop all expectations.... stop investing seriously...BUT don't cut her out off your life. Contacts can come in handy and you travel alot - if you ever need a place to crash you never know.
i would remain in contact and use her to improve my (online)game skill and so forth but everyone got his own thing going, decide what you can get out of this contact ( no relationship thoughts as i mensioned above) and make your choice - you got nothing to lose.

peace

_________________
AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
questions about herbal medicine here-vp582526.html#582526

Ok Lode, I understand all the bullshit that my gf has put me through but every relationship has its faults and our relationship has gotten much better since all the pathetic desperation threads i posted on this forum hahaha...but I have another question. Sometimes my gf just isnt in the mood for sex when I am and just wants to cuddle in bed. When Im really in the mood for sex and she just isnt in the mood, cuddling is a tease for me and just frustrates me. What should I do when im very sexually frustrated and want to have sex but my gf doesnt and just wants to cuddle? and what can i do to turn her on and make her horny when were just laying around in bed together? thanks again lode

seems she gives you more bullshit lol

When woman aren't in the mood for sex they aren't in the mood, you gotta live with that bro. i had GFs who didn't want any sex for 2 to 3 weeks because out of stress or we weren't seeing eachother that much. Guys who brag because they didn't have sex for 1 week are as AFC as fuck... Chode as fuck. If you are frustrated without sex for a week (or 2) your inner game really sucks... i mean ok everyone likes sex ya know but if you can't do without sex you can't be alone and if you are that dependent on your GF you will be developing needy behaviour soon. sometimes guys go out with the word ''sex'' written on their foreheads

Having less sex isn't a bad thing because if you do it everyday it can become little bit boring over a period of time. What can you do to turn her on ? create emotional spikes be cocky funny and kino the shit out of her , don't neg her or anything like that just be romantic when the situation arrives - maybe put on some music, Be yourself but change the scenario.
Foreplay ...alot of kissing leads to sex, forleplay turns girls on - with gaming woman you don't get sex by putting techniques on them you escalate to sex by having a good foreplay including good kissing techniques. if you create the mood she will be affected or not - it doesn't always work.

your GF from what i've read is a manipulative type, it wouldn't surprise me if she use withholding sex as a form of power - as a form of manipulation. Be aware and be careless when you feel she's doing this.

about you you sound like your AFC as fuck... like you have to sleep with her to create an emotional band- into forming/getting into a serious relationship. she can cuddle with otherguys so if i would be you i would be happy with what i get , i mean she could cuddle with the guy she gave a handjob. This relationship is making you more AFC and chode and you seem not to realize it, it doesn't mean im telling you to break up, im just telling you to be aware.
missing sex - frustrated having no sex is the first sign of guys getting chode.

BTW.. your relationship becoming better after your desperate posts ? .... dude... what is getting better your inner game ? i hope you know what you're doing because if she doesn't share the same idea it's not getting better (personal opinion VS fact ) if she doesn't fullfill your needs at all you should find another girl that makes you happy. You have more inner game issues than you think.

peace

_________________
AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
questions about herbal medicine here-vp582526.html#582526

i broke up with my girlfriend for a number of reasons, but problem is i still have feelings for her. when i hear about her dating another guy, i get upset that she might be sleeping with him and do the things we used to do. i think this is immature on my part but i get jealous about it even though i dont even know if it happened.


what advice can you give me in this situation?

Lode

You once stated in a thread that a guy's girlfriend could be cheating and one wouldn't even know it. Due to that reason, one shouldn't let it bother him.


I'll give you some background onto my mindset. I do not restrict my gf's actions, neither do I expect her to restrict mine. The reason for this is I believe we both have our own lives and that we should be free to make our own choices. She has various guys after her yet I am not worried about them. My happiness is my own and she only adds onto it. Therefore, I would like to say that I am confident with my inner game. (If you think otherwise, please criticize me).

In slight contradiction with the previous statement, I want to warn her of things I would prefer her not doing, eg. clubbing/partying/drinking while i'm not there for obvious reasons, and the consequential decreasing trust in her (I have yet to do this). Once again, I understand that is her decision if she wants to listen to me or not.

Now my concern isn't entirely related to the cheating quote, but rather on the trust issue behind it. My gf is currently back in her hometown and got drunk yesterday night. She hasn't contacted me since last night and I am slightly worried which I believe is not a wrong emotion to be feeling.

I trust her yet I feel worried. Due to this, it seems like my trust in her is not as strong as I perceive it to be. Am i wrong?

what im going about to say can sound harsh + these mindsets/thoughts you have in your head look simple but are very complex.

You broke up with your GF and i assume you had very good reasons to do so, however you still have feelings for her. With every action you make you have to have one thing : to be 100 % confident, if you're not 100 % confident you will get thoughts like you have.

how to get 100 % confident ? it's not like my ''inner game is sooo good '' even if your inner game is good your thoughts and emotions have to be Lined up. If you think something but you're feeling something different then you will not be 100 % confident because your own mind will become your enemy ( and best cruel teacher) at this point.

Confirming your thoughts if she has hooked up with a new guy she will do the same things with him, she wants to relive those moments. i know it's fucked up and i know it's bad BUT who cares ? you will do the same shit with your new GF so....

Jealous : yes you are jealous but you are also experiencing mixed sets of emotions. You care about her, you broke up , you still have feelings, you're jealous. But what are your feelings ? are you jealous because your ego got hurt here ? or do you miss sex ? In any way you are the one that broke up - tho it's normal to have these feelings - you are completely egocentric here. you throw something away and you get teh feeling you want it back, however you have a different thought. This is pissing you off and messing up your inner game ( temporarily)

A break-up is always fucked up even if your GF cheated and you dump her with 100 % reason and confidence you will still feel bad. seeing her with another guy ( no matter who dumped ) feels like cheating ( cheating after a relationship ). your not being immature - acting is what you are, you are only thinking right now so you're fine.

There is no direct solution There is no advice like a magic pill which make you better instantly, there is no such thing as a magic pill. your emotions are just a big fuss, you have to wait a period of time, just do things you like and go on with your life. Because there comes a point where you are less emotional and your emotions-and- thoughts will get lined up. Confusing emotions one for another is also common - like you confuse jealousy for love or anger. You lost something because you ended it with a good reason, you are just admitting to yourself you lost something. But what you have lost you can have back - don't feel like you have lossed something - it could be you gained. Before your GF you had no GF therefore you had nothing to lose and only to gain, you are in this same situation and this situation could be turn to your advantage.

Find out what you want i can tell you you are confused or whatever but maybe you didn't want to break up in the first place, wait some time and find out what you really want. If you decide you don't want her, you should cut-off contact because she will try to date guys/make you jealous anyway.

Facts

- She's only dating a guy, she isn't in marriage or something
- Timespan: she could be emotionally affected thus unstable - acting from her ego finding a new guy to put a temporary bandage on her wounds + she probably wants to hurt you as well or make you jealous ( just a bad artificial way to improve her self esteem). She's just using him.

questions:

How long ago did you break up ? what is the timespan between breaking up and this message ?
What is the reason you broke up ?
How long did you had a relationship and how serious was it ?
What so you seriously feel and what do you seriously think ?

Time is the most important factor.
It's like you have a cup with something you don't want.. a cup filled with ethanol or something- you have to boil it for some time until all ethanol is evaporated. When it's all vaporated you drink what you have left OR even refill you cup with something else.

peace

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AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
questions about herbal medicine here-vp582526.html#582526

dasani

i think you have a good mindset.
However the contradiction is a logical process... i don't think it's an emotional decision.
Are there any signals that got you worried ?
You worry about her health and also about the trust thingy, confusement of emotions and thoughts. If you tried to contact her and she didn't reply back then you got a good reason to get worried, don't let your worry become the red line because it's just a secondary thing.
If you have the need to contact - do it from a caring frame like : are you okay you didn't reply i hope you didn't drink too much. -- > conveys good trait
because most guys go like : where have you been ? how long ? --> conveys bad trait ( no trust)

What are you values in a relationship ?
what do you expect from your partner and above all; what do you expect form yourself ?
i think you are wrong, think about this : you only trust someone as much as you trust yourself .
i think there's more to it because i can get alot of information out of your text, but i don't want to fuckup your mindset - il reply later, i need to think about some things first.

peace

_________________
AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
questions about herbal medicine here-vp582526.html#582526

Hey Lode.
First some basic (important) facts:
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*Me and my GF have been together for 8 months.
*In the beginning (about first 6 months) we had sex average every day.
*She have been with 3 other guys before me - one of them her previous boyfriend.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

At this time, I seem to experince a lack of interest from her in having sex with me.
Example: Last night we were together, and we were beginning to hitting it of, where she stops and say "babe, can't we just cuddle tonight?".
I asked her if something was wrong, and she told me she had headache (yea, classic).
I then said "that didn't use to hold you back in the old days?".
She started to cry, and I asked her what really was wrong, and then she told me this LONG story, which I can cut down to this two topics
"I'm afraid of getting pregnant" and
"I'm afraid of getting diseases".
(So yea, now we got 3 different excuses from her, to not have sex with me).
We talked a bit about it, and I asked how she could be sexual satisfied, when we didn't have sex so often at this time. She told me that she have been masturbating last night (yea, ouch?).
She told me that she was fantasising about me, and she only did it, so she could feel how empty it is without me.
Then I had to go to work.

-This have been repeative in soon 1½ month, and I'm really afraid of that I can't satisfie her enough.
What to do now? How can I turn on the sparkle again?
I love her very much, and I will do anything to keep the releationship going.

Yours truly,
LA.

Sounds a lot like my girlfriend! lol

It sounds like she is giving you a shit-test. Some times my gf intends on having sex on a particular night, but then she will say something like she has become really tired or she wants to "cuddle instead". It is sooooo anoying when they do this shit. But the important thing to remember is not to make a big deal out of it when they pull this shit. Don't let her see your frustration.

As far as satisfying her, if you guys were having sex for 6 months, you must have been doing something right.

Background: My girlfriend has two kids by an ex fiancé, she left that 5 year relationship for an abusive relationship that lasted two years. She was still keeps in contact with the abusive boyfriend because he has basically adopted one of her kids.

She admitted she still loves her kids father but says it has no effect on our relationship. She then admits that if he made an honest effort and the situation was right....she would take him back or try again.

Question: I feel that i have extended myself too much. As i have tried to deepen the relationship i meet arguments and resistance. I have given 100% but she has not in return. Since we live together how should i go about making the playing field equal again