i got one

________ ".....and you are?"

cocky funny? lol

I agree. Those mundane statuses clog up my Facebook like the fervor of a hefty turd clogs up my toilet. Though, the crybaby statuses are particularly worse.

I try to keep my statuses limited to two things: Something that will interest the reader. Or something that will entertain the individual. Otherwise, really, what's the point of making a status?

Anyway, pretty tight list. Some of that stuff made me chuckle.

_________________

I dare somebody to post this:

"Fucking fat girls is like masturbating, it's something I do when I am bored."

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Call me Sly.
My goal: To become a Pickup Artist in everything but name.

And yeah, This is (still) just the beginning.

I think anything that will make people smile must be a DHV especially if it's clever. Anything negative such as, "is so bored", never looks good to me just appears needy and attention seeking.

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"Man is a free agent; but he is not free if he does not believe it, for the more power he attributes to Destiny, the more he deprives himself of the power which God granted him when he gave him reason.

I used the "thinks women are like parking spots. All the good ones are taken, the others are too far, and the rest are all just handicapped."

I got a response 10 minutes later from a HB 8 I worked with 3 years ago saying "Oh Chaz!, you just have to be more aggressive , happy V day!"

How do I respond to that?

I just said "I'm too busy right now anyway, maybe next year" ....

This is on my wall btw, but how do I DHV after that! Didn't expect this to trigger a DLV!

This one is big but hilarious. you don,t act like a clown and you show off so much ^^

''I Hate MorningWood, when i wake up in the morning and my dick is already up for hours!What the FUCK! it wakes up way earlier than me!!!
when i wake up in the morning, all i want to do is sleep. I look down to my dick and, it just want to FUCK!!!
I just want to look down at my dick and say;
''look buddy, you should go back to sleep cause i want to sleep without stabing myself in the bellybutton''!!!''

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-Always remember the Alphaness of Tyler from Figth Club
-Always remember the Value of a Wing
-Always remember the Bird from Top Gun


Active peacock theory practicer ;p

so i tested out ...thinks brunettes do it better

got 8 likes and 11 comments

awesome lol!

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you have to create your own luck, you have to be aware of the opportunities around you and take advantage of them

Would variations of these updates be OK for someone in their early 30s? I have friends and family on Facebook, so I don't want to across as being a douche. I've used a few which generated a ton of responses and likes.

Hahahaha this is awesome. One of the best losts i've read so far. Very funny and helpful. Cheers mate

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"I only get girls that are out of my league"

This forum is gold, im trying to make some of my own variations; but this is a great start

Fantastic thread. Thank you to all the contributors.

My personality is more subtle. I believe if you are something, it is always better for someone else to tell everyone rather than profess it myself. With that in mind I tried one of these on Friday night before I went out ( 2 #close HB7-8, 1 K-close HB9 brunette ). Most of the people on my FB are parents / married ( cause Im old :-p ) so I modified one of yours too:

" wants to remind the ladies going out tonight that us men are not just sex objects ! We have feelings too you know ...."

The subtle implication that I am speaking of myself seemed to register on a more subconscious level and yet remained publicly viable. The more direct version using "I" might be more effective in a 1 or 2set situation as a calibration tool. The body language response from this statement is effortless to interpret. This is a classic witty application of the "I know you want me, admit it" concept. Extremely effective if used at the right moment.

Thanks again for the inspiration to work on this myself.

Byron

Are you from the UK?

I tried a few of these and had great feedback. DHV, DLV, OPP, it doesn`t matter... these things make people smile and that`s step in the right direction.

Love this...speaking as a female (because I am one! ), I think it's brilliant because it's funny. Funny works guys!

I am on Facebook and must admit at times it does my head in, too much info being shared too easily...but then again it can have it's plus points. I only update my status if and when I think there is something worth sharing...or funny...BE FUNNY, no one wants to know what you had for dinner unless you created an amazing new dish! lol

_______ does wonders.. come see it for yourself