Fear of touching others...



Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 47 guests
Post new topic Reply to topic   Board index » Inner Game » Social Shyness & Anxiety




Author Message
PostPosted: Tue Feb 02, 2010 3:58 pm 
Offline
MPUA Forum Enthusiast
User avatar

Joined: Tue Jul 28, 2009 3:10 pm
Posts: 62
Yahoo Messenger: marinogaggini
AOL: Ominuka
Location: Detroit, MI
I have this anxiety thing in which I don't like to be touched and I have a fear of touching.

For instance at work, some guys here can easily touch the opposite sex without fear of anything "bad" happening (as in getting put up for sexual harassment). The said guy I'm talkng about has the same position and makes as much as I do, but for reason has no problem with touch/talking.

It's weird, for some reason I've had this issue and it seems others don't "notice" it but would rather just try to explain it. Well damnit I don't want it explained, I want to be able to not worry about interacting on that level.

When it comes to "dates" or whatever you want to call them (speaking from an AFC's POV), I have no problem with touch then. However, even then it's hard for me some times when dealing with HB9s and 10s. I have this initial fear that something bad would happen. Where does this stem from and how can I cure it?

_________________
I'm not run of the mill, because it's from the mill I'm running...


Top
   
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Feb 02, 2010 8:37 pm 
Offline
Moderator
User avatar

Joined: Sun Nov 11, 2007 2:04 pm
Posts: 4238
I will answer this post in a way that goes for all the FEAR posts.

Stop making excuses, get over it!

Why would you search for an easy way around your fears? Why do you think that it is acceptable to accept defeat. How can you accept to be defeated by your own imagination? Face that fear and stop being such a pussy!

Ezo


Top
   
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Feb 02, 2010 8:42 pm 
Offline
Member of MPUA Forum

Joined: Tue Feb 02, 2010 2:46 am
Posts: 140
Think it this way...

Talk to a HB7-8-9-10 like you are talking to some not so pretty chick
Touch a HB7-8-9-10 like you are doing same with not so pretty chick.

Everything is cool except if the girls is a lil bit prettier.... Well get over it and imagine in your mind that some HB9 can be same as HB5... You probably have no fear with girls that are not so pretty or who you dont find attractive ;)... First change the way of thinking and it will be better soon! :wink:


Top
   
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Feb 03, 2010 3:36 pm 
Offline
Member of MPUA Forum
User avatar

Joined: Thu Sep 10, 2009 3:13 pm
Posts: 124
Location: Hofstra University, New York
Do you feel fear when touching a guy? Im serious. Practice it on guys and soon the transition to girls will be nothing. You can't always be around girls but you can always be around you guy friends. Just like a punch to the shoulder or a pat on the back or a hand shake is kino, then you just naturally move on to more sexual things with girls. Hugs, hand movements, ect. You shouldnt have a fear of touching a girl but a LONGING to touch a girl. Think of kino as the way your body naturally interacts, every guy wants to touch a girl, thats what it comes down to. Im not going to go deep into your emotional issues or whatever, but if you forget about your problem and plow through, you might not have a problem anymore ;)

_________________
Hobbit: Manwhore.inc: So good, it got FatalKill125 laid.
Co-Founder of Manwhore.inc


Top
   
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Feb 05, 2010 9:51 am 
Offline
MPUA Forum Zealot

Joined: Sun Apr 05, 2009 10:00 pm
Posts: 483
Yahoo Messenger: Coreyko_2003
Quote:
I will answer this post in a way that goes for all the FEAR posts.

Stop making excuses, get over it!

Why would you search for an easy way around your fears? Why do you think that it is acceptable to accept defeat. How can you accept to be defeated by your own imagination? Face that fear and stop being such a pussy!

Ezo
Yeah because the easy answers that take little to no thought are gonna help him with his dillema >_>

Honestly, I can't really blame him because work is work and different than going out and touching.


Top
   
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Feb 06, 2010 3:46 am 
Offline
Moderator
User avatar

Joined: Sun Nov 11, 2007 2:04 pm
Posts: 4238
Well, moralize all that you want but the only thing that really works is to realize that either you make it your top priority or you dont. It is a choice. It is not a no brainer, he has to decide for himself. I know that it is difficult but come on, he has to make a decision, that is the only way...

Ezo


Top
   
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Feb 06, 2010 5:31 am 
Offline
MPUA Forum Enthusiast
User avatar

Joined: Tue Jul 28, 2009 3:10 pm
Posts: 62
Yahoo Messenger: marinogaggini
AOL: Ominuka
Location: Detroit, MI
Yeah I do have to decide. Work is work, but touching a woman is oh so nice. I guess now a days unless you are the boss there's that feeling that you could be written up. We all know the boss gets the most play...

Anyways, I appreciate your advice. Off into the field I go!!!!

_________________
I'm not run of the mill, because it's from the mill I'm running...


Top
   
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Feb 06, 2010 10:09 am 
Offline
PUA Forum Leader
User avatar

Joined: Sun Mar 22, 2009 4:38 pm
Posts: 1430
Quote:
I will answer this post in a way that goes for all the FEAR posts.

Stop making excuses, get over it!

Why would you search for an easy way around your fears? Why do you think that it is acceptable to accept defeat. How can you accept to be defeated by your own imagination? Face that fear and stop being such a pussy!

Ezo
Perfect reply.


Top
   
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Feb 07, 2010 11:33 am 
Offline
Moderator
User avatar

Joined: Sun Nov 11, 2007 2:04 pm
Posts: 4238
Quote:
I think this reply is awful Ezo. You my boy and all, but I have to disagree with your generic 'all fear posts' response. Firstly we don't need to be calling people pussy's because of their conditioned anxiety responses. Secondly, we wouldn't have the psychiatric community if people could just "get over" their anxieties and maladaptive behaviors. How do you think judging someone for an anxiety is going to help the majority of people with that condition? Will it motivate them or ultimately give them another reason to be anxious and self critical?
Well Hobbit. First off no offense taken. :)

I might have left out some of the things he need to know in order to deal with his fears. On the other hand I was not actually trying to solve all of his problem at once merely the first step on the way. (Sorry for calling you a pussy man, I was speaking generally to people not facing their fears, no offense meant.)
The OP seeks a way to avoid the problem. He is aware that he has a problem with touching and he wants to deal with it by running from it as long as he can. Now my reason for giving him this strong reply was to make him realize that he has to face his fear sooner or later. He cannot just ignore it and hope the issue will never come up. It is better that he tries and fails now than later.

I think that the only was to deal with a fear like this is to expose yourself to it in small doses at first and then go for bigger and bigger challenges. But first you have to do one thing. Accept your fear. This is what I mean by saying get over it. You have to take the first step, you have to find some inner strength and use that to deal with your fears.

So you see, my post is not about how to break your fear but how to start. You need to accept the fact that it is gonna be painful and scary and you have to be ready to take that! Push yourself beyond your limits. You are still trying to avoid it which means you are making excuses in order to not have to deal with the situation. You are looking for an easy solution. There is none. Realize that and you see that there is only one path. Realize that and you will be ready to start walking it.

If this doesnt help I would recommend a shrink. No offense again I honestly think that many problems require professional help. We here are just guys on a forum, not psychologists.

Hope this clarifies things.


Top
   
PostPosted: Fri Feb 19, 2010 5:53 am 
Quote:
I have this anxiety thing in which I don't like to be touched and I have a fear of touching.
in the psychology world this is generally the result of sexual trauma at a young age.


Top
   
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic  Reply to topic  [ 10 posts ] 

All times are UTC


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  

Can we be honest?

We want your email address. Let me send you the best seduction techniques ever devised... because they are really good.
close-link