There are HB everywhere at my community college during the day. I mean like, you can't count to 10 seconds without walking past one at some point on campus. It's one of the biggest Community Colleges in all of NJ.

Heres my problem:

I am stuck my CRIPPLING, paralyzing AA and a million terrible scenarios playing out in my head. I've never had this problem before any other setting besides on campus. Someone care to help me?

Have you done the newbie mission?

Getting over your AA is just like, DO IT, DO IT, DO IT, APPROACH, APPROACH. Thats one of the best ways to get over it.

Talk to strangers, random people, men, women, dogs, llama's. whatever!

Check out the newbie mission and also this post:

overcoming-approach-anxiety-vt1672.html

Good luck

Yeh i agree, its a matter of just doing it. Whats the worst that can happen? she excuses herself and walks away?

I really recomend buying Styles, Rules of the Game

its got some good stuff in there about how people perceive others and little chunks of information that can really help overcome your AA

You should approach the same way you breathe: without even thinking about it. The second you start to analyze what you are doing, how you are doing it, the chances of success and failure, what you're going to say, how you're going to say it... etc.. you will fail.

The same way you can just lift your leg without thinking to youreslf.. "come on.. lift your leg... you can do it.. come onnnn"... is the same way you should approach. Just do it. Don't think about just doing it. Don't say to yourself "just do it." JUST DO IT!

And likely all that will come out of your mouth is a "hi" or "hey" or "hey what's up?". In fact more than likely, something honest will come up. You won't know what's coming out of your mouth till it does, but you will be in a clear state of mind so your delivery will be good, and your body language will be positive, so it doesn't matter how average what you say is.

Imagine how you approach your good friend when you see him in the halls. When you see him walking towards you, you don't start saying to yourself "omg what am i going to say !!" You just say something naturally. Do that. DONT THINK ABOUT DOING IT. Just do it.

Just do it! Just do it! . . . Just do what?

You don't approach these ladies because you know you have nothing to say. Those comedians don't get up on stage and "just do it". They think, they write, they practice. . . Those mma fighters don't in the cage to "just do it". They train, strategize, they practice . . . Those doctors don't go to the OR to "just do it". They diagnose, strategize a SPAM plan, and follow protocol.

The reason professionals in any facet of life are able to "just do it" is because they are prepared. Prepare yourself first. . . then just do it. Once you're prepared, people will have to HOLD YOU BACK from approaching.

He's not public speaking in front of 200 people.
He's not fighting for his life.
He's not performing surgery.

All he is doing is approaching another human being. He has done it before, more times than he will ever remember. He knows exactly how to do it. He just thinks that because it is a girl, it is different.. that this interaction is special.. that there is risk.

There is no risk. You can't get in trouble for it (unless you try to rape her?).
The more you stand in front of the mirror "preparing," the more time you are wasting practicing. Approaching is one of those things you just do. If you want a routine to go with it, then practice that. But routine or not, you still have to GO DO IT! Prepared or not, you still have to do it. THAT is the hard part about AA. It is not the 'not knowing what to say', it is that physical feeling of simply not being able to move your legs to the target. And in this case, you just can't out-think it. And if you try, you will make yourself more nervous.


So yes. Just do it. Just approach. Say hi. Say hey. Ask for the time. Something will come out of your mouth. You can't prepare for AA. You can practice what to say, but when AA takes over it is up to you to clear your mind and simply.. just... do... it!

This is true.

You are so right, but I just can't take my self to do it. Like, I DEFINITELY had at least a little IOI's from two amazingly hot girls in my cafeteria on campus the other day. I was sitting there reading with a buddy of mine, and they kept looking around the lunch room and I locked eyes with the blonde one and smirked and she looked at her friend real quick. Shoulda approached, but I was shitting myself. I've honestly never approached anyone remotely as good looking with more intentions than just a friendly conversation (which was hard in itself).

Really? You really think he's approached girls with intentions to attract them to him sexually and then gain their numbers with intent to meet up with them for a session of boom boom? He SURE doesn't sound like it. And even if he did many times before, what do you see as the major faults of "preparation"? What's the worst thing that can happen by taking a week to brush up his game through writing up his own material (or reading other material) and rehearsing?
Yes and no. Sure, I agree anybody who can order a slice of pizza has the "ability" to do this. However, pu doesn't equal ordering a slice of pizza. Ability does not equal success.
There are two levels of risk here. #1. Failure to achieve desirable results from the interaction. #2. Failure to perform during the interaction.

You addressed #1 and I agree. Sure all 10 of those girls could tell 10 of their friends that the OP is a bumbling idiot but it still means nothing and no matter how well you prepare, the beauty of PU is you really never know what to expect. You can't control the unknown. Thus there is absolutely no reason to ponder over this.

In regards to #2 . . . This is 100% within our control and practice makes perfect. You ever walk into an exam room without studying the night before? Ever compete in regulated sports game after skipping days of practice beforehand? FEAR possesses the ill prepared PERIOD. What makes you think "PU" is the exception to this reality?
^This is what can happen to anybody for anything that they wish to do when they are ill prepared for it. And if they can somehow manage to "just do it" while knowing that they are ill prepared, they often do it with a negative attitude. (It's the I'm going to suck anyways, I don't give a fuck attitude) Ever wonder why "Fuck it! I don't care what anybody says! It doesn't matter!" - seems to be the mantra of all the newbie pua's on this forum? Ever see knowledgeable, experienced guys write stuff like that?

Go ahead and "just do it" if your goal is chat with a girl as you would to a brick wall. If you want to PICK HER UP, then put some effort into it.

There's almost no preparation you can do for approaching. You get good at approaching by practicing.. and how do you practice? Well, those three words are getting annoying even to me.

Let me clarify: we are addressing the PHYSICAL ACT of approaching. It is different than the words that are coming out of your mouth. This is why he refers to this as the "crippling" effect AA has. That crippling effect is what I described as the inability to simply move your legs, as if your body just won't let you go there. You simply can't out think the fear, you just have to ignore it or run with it. Or clear your mind and be void of it.

If you can somehow show me a way to prepare yourself to move your legs or stop someone in their tracks without that anxiety taking over, I am all ears. What he says is irrelevant. He could prepare for a month for all I care. I know this because I've gone through it myself. Doesn't matter if you know what to say, the actual few seconds you have to approach can be terrifying. It is as one person in a DD video put it, to paraphrase, "approaching a women can be like approaching a lion." For some of us, it is just scary. You might know how to fight the lion, but you're still going to be scared when you're walking up to it.

In terms of risk, the more you put in to it, the more you will scare yourself from it. Taking a risk is the act of doing something that may produce a reward or a failure. If your intentions when approaching a girl are "YEAH MAN IMA BANG HER" then you are setting yourself up for disappointment. If your belief system allows you to believe that you might fail, you are setting yourself up for failure.

In your "#2 level of risk" this is not really what we are discussing. The interaction is not the approach. The approach is the approach; the physical act of moving your body there, followed by the few words that should flow out of your mouth.


I can tell him what to say. I can tell him how to walk. I can tell him when to laugh, wink, smile, and so on. But until he actually pushes himself to do it, it's all useless technique and information.

^OK

Awesome, 100% correct, and hilarious at the end .... perfect mindset for campus approach...... applause

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Drewski - - - - El Tornado