Probably gonna be a long post, please bear with me as I always do with other posters' long posts

Ok so, after me and my ex-girlfriend broke up 5 weeks ago, my game has become off the fucking charts. I went out 2-4 nights a week to forget about my ex, chatting up everyone that gave me some eyecontact. This has gotten me a lot of lays (5), but I also met some girls that I only k-closed and they give me some trouble in the emotional aspect.

A quick summary of the girls I am emotionally involved with (besides physically be it K-closed or F-closed or fuckbuddies).

HB9 (lets call her HB S): a bit silent, little hard to have a fluent conversation with, but she's gorgeous, likes my music, AMAZING body, but we haven't had sex yet (her housemate/best friend is doing everything he can to cockblock me, because he's in love with her.)

HB7,5 (lets call her HB Y): fun conversations, good body, not a real pretty face but deffo not ugly. REAL good sex, lets me do whatever I want to her. Problem: She's in love with me and not afraid to let me know (says I love you and expects me to say it back, i already told her I don't do that so soon). Keeps talking about going exclusive.

HB9 (lets call her HB M): fun, pretty good conversations, but she has a shitload of emotional baggage that she cannot control. Kissed her twice, she's a little flakey/really busy in her life. Her looks are almost everything I look for in a girl. The problem is that if I look at it rationally, she will be tough to handle because of the baggage, but something about her makes me forget about all that.

HB10+ (lets call her HB X): My ex-girlfriend that I made some desperate posts about in this section of the forum. Since 2 weeks, about a month after we broke up, we started seeing eachother again after having a drunk talk about how we missed eachother and that other people just wouldnt do or give us the same feeling as we had with eachother. This girl is everything that I look for in a girl, as far as looks go, but also the conversations we have are amazing, and we can just hang out and say nothing and it's still good, you know that feeling right?. The relationship was not that good, mostly because I acted way too needy from the start and wanted to progress way too fast (emotionally). She is not much of showing feelings, something that I need in a girl, but I know it, so I can live with it. Sex with her is boring, she wont even let me eat her out, because that's "not right" lol. Still, when we're together we have so much fun and just one look at her and I get all warm and fuzzy.

I've been seeing these girls for the last 4/5 weeks and I'm starting to get in trouble managing it, mostly because I can't do it anymore emotionally (they dont deserve this), but also because they want to see me more often and we all live in the same city/go out to the same bars.

No matter how hard I try to think about it, laying awake at night, thinking about it, I can't choose, I just cant. Everyone has something special and I just don't want to miss out on someone because I picked the wrong girl.

My ex-girlfriend is the one I have the most feelings for, but my friends warn me about her because the relationship wasnt satisfying the first time. I feel like we can do so much better this time though..I've learned from it. Shitty thing is the sex, we dont have it enough..an area that HB Y satisfies me in to the fullest, and I need it.

Getting back with my ex girlfriend or going with the HB Y would be the easiest way out..but I really want to lay the other girls (not just for the sex, but to see how it would go from there, how well we connect after that, both physically and mentally). HB Y would probably be your pick but the thing is I don't really know if it can work out, we like each other, but I dont trust her, she cheated on her ex-boyfriend 5 times, one time with me. I have more trust with the others.

I know I have to make a choice, because sooner or later they will find out (HB Y already knows i'm seeing my ex again, she just thinks we havent kissed yet).

What I ask of you is if you could give me a reality check, a slap in the face, or your thoughts on this, anything. I can't think rationally about it anymore, I don't want to think any further without some 2nd opinions on this. Also I'm just spilling my guts hoping it's gonna get me somewhere, or at least on the right path.

My longest post ever, thank you if you're still reading this.

Chillburg

HBY sounds like she could be a bit of a problem with the quick "i love you"'s and the history of cheating. personally i'd steer clear of any baggage where possible, so that's HBM out.

maybe narrow it down to HBS (getting around the cockblock could be a fun little challenge) and HBX (you know where you went wrong last time, so maybe it has a chance of working out)

once you've had a little time with it narrowed down you might find it easier to choose between the two =)

Chillburg,

Believe it or not, I read your post all the way through
I'm exhausted, dehydrated, and, above all, postponing reading War and Peace till another day

It sounds like it's emotionally draining -- and logistically unsustainable -- for you to see all four girls. On the other hand, you clearly haven't decided for yourself which one of these girls you prefer above the others, so you ought to respect that feeling, too. (For now, I won't get into the possibility that none of the four girls is right for you -- or that a fifth, sixth, or seventh girl might soon come across your life's horizon ) So maybe the move is to think of your situation as having arrived at the semi-finals. Now you can pare down to two girls, and that can be the finals More on that later.

First, decide for yourself what your priority is right now. If you're looking only for sex, that's one thing; if you feel you've recovered from your breakup and are open to a new relationship, that's another.

The girl that your descriptions make me most curious about is HB S, largely because there's more to learn about her, and she has a potentially huge upside. In fact, her only "downside" -- at least as things stand now -- isn't necessarily a downside at all. It may very well be that she's just shy or pensive, and may just need some more coaxing to open up, both conversationally and sexually. But she may be extremely sensitive and caring -- quiet people are often that way -- and you've said that that's something very important to you in a girl. The other three girls, by contrast, all have major, clearly established downsides: HB Y is unfaithful, HB M has serious emotional baggage, and HB X isn't affectionate and is unadventurous in bed. If you're looking for something possibly enduring, I would recommend exploring things with HB S to see what's there. Regarding the others: personally, I don't like to get involved with girls who have either emotional baggage or a history of infidelity. As for HB X, I'm sure it's easy to feel comfortable with her and to focus on all of the good aspects. But your optimism about her -- and the idea that things might somehow be different this time around -- strikes me as an illusion. If it's important to you to be with a woman who is emotionally demonstrative and exciting in bed -- and it sounds like it is -- you're probably deluding yourself if you think you'll be able to overlook HB X's shortcomings in those areas. True, no one is perfect, and we always have to decide what flaws we're willing to accept in our LTRs. But the things you mentioned are neither minor in your eyes nor likely to be remedied. I assume you tried various ways, while you were dating her, to get her to open up emotionally and sexually. But some women -- some people in general -- just don't have that capacity and never will.

At any rate, be honest about what you're looking for. Part of the reason you feel uncomfortable right now is that you're being deceptive. If good sex is your priority, stick with HB Y while you pursue other options. But let her know things aren't exclusive.

Follow up with news on what happens with HB S! And good luck. Hope this reply -- almost as long as your original post -- was helpful.

Ciornia

To me, like others, HB S sounds like the best choice. Shy girls that are hard to get to know are often the same girls that other guys have a hard time getting to know, making loyalty more likely in the long-run. I love shy-girls. In my exp., its the party girls or needy girls (i.e. HBY) which can be fun or ego-serving but are most likely to be non-loyal.

HBY - sounds needy and a little dangerous to me. Ive found that girls who fall in love quick are really just in-love with the honeymoon phase of relationships. They tend to switch partners after 8-12 months. In addition, she could be attracted to your indifference. Once, you reciprocate your love - she could be less attracted.

HBM - baggage is a red-flag. I know its easier said than done but trust me, it never ends well in my exp. Forget about it.

HB X - Call me cynical but I dont believe in second rounds. Once it's done, it's done. The same issues usually re-surface. It takes alot of work by both of you to change. Plus, if sex is boring, you can always do better. You are young now so if sex isnt good now, what's gonna happen later? Not trying to be disagreeable but I dont buy that she is an HB10. I think you just love the gal so your a little subjective there ("love is blind"). She probably wont be as pretty once you drop her and go get HB S, which sounds the best to me.

Chillburg, I may be echoing what the others have already said, but I wanted to give you my straight opinion without quoting.

HBS: Likes your music. Ok, something in common. Sex is still unknown, but that presents a challenge, which might be good. She might open up in conversation eventually, or she might just be the quiet type. I would definitely keep her as an option, a "maybe" until you get to know her better.

HBM: Is flaky and emotional. Given that you have so many other options, I'd let this one go. There are more girls out there just as good-looking without the baggage.

HBX: Looks are killer. Conversation is amazing. You seem to really want her. She doesn't reciprocate emotionally, and sex with her is boring. It all depends on whether you can compromise on those last two issues to have great conversation and mediocre sex with a really hot girl. Different guys value these things differently. I won't tell you what I would do, but just to really know what you want.

HBY: Fun conversations. Sex is awesome. Needy. Again, it depends on your priorities. The one other thing about this girl, though, is that even though the sex is really good, if you're going to date other girls, you have to make sure she knows this. Be honest with her, and if she can't hang, let her go. If the sex and the conversations are so good that you'd go exclusive with her, go for it. But either way, tell her the truth.

Seems like X and Y are opposites in the emotional neediness camp. If you can find one that's right in the middle, marry her, I swear to God... lol

_________________
Live Your Truth.

Damn thats a dilemma and a half, im sorry but nobody on this forum is in a position to give you true advice on this (since we don't know any of them). It's really down to you and what you want, your personal preference I guess, good luck with your decision, im sure your going to break some hearts lol.

Thank all of you for responding!

I've taken all your comments into consideration and maybe the narrowing it down to 2 of them right now is the best thing to do, and then decide a little later on what I'm going to do.

Yeah maybe HBM is not a good idea because of the baggage, I thought I could handle it but before we had romantic interest in each other I saw her crying at a party being comforted by a friend and I asked him what happened and he just told me "she's just really crazy dude". I thought I could live with that but that's not really what I should be going for. Remembering this, yeah I wont actively pursue her anymore.

HBY is getting so obsessed with me (11 texts in 2 hours this morning) that I can't really take it anymore, I will tell her how I feel next time she comes over, I will tell her that I dont see a real future for us besides being fuckbuddies. Fucked up thing is she says she loves me and that she's in love with me, I don't like breaking hearts, but it's better than leading her on.

HBX...well yeah you guys say both things that i've been thinking about. Why would anything change this time? but then again, I know what went wrong last time...contradicting stuff. She's also the biggest oneitis i've ever had. When we broke up and i started laying random/other girls I slowly forgot about her, but then we spoke on msn for 4 hours like i said and it seemed like our 'love' was rekindled. Going to a concert with her on friday, we'll see how it goes there.
When I go into a bar with her, everyone stares at her, even the women. I've had guys come up to me asking if she was my gf and they congratulated me. So it's not just the love-goggles


HBS.. I was supposed to meet her last night for drinks but I didnt have time sadly, now she's busy for the rest of the week. I'll have to wait a little before I can progress there I guess.

So those are the girls in the grand finale lol, wish me luck .
Thank you everyone for your input, if anyone still has anything to say about it i'd love to hear it.

can i have one :p ?

_________________
AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
questions about herbal medicine here-vp582526.html#582526

you don't mind sloppy seconds?

What i would do id probably concentrate on who ever you want. Flip a coin, roc paper scissors ANYTHING! and if you mae the wrong choice chances are you will anyone else just like them

Sounds a LOT like my ex. Sure we weren't dating the same chic??? lol It's hard not to get cought up with a girl like this. It's even harder to break up because they seem so perfect accept for a few little things, so maybe this time it'll be better you keep thinking... I just had to sever the relationship completely because I knew I wasn't happy and wasn't going to be happy with this girl.

I would continue with HB S and find out how good she really is, and drop the others.

And, I would keep looking. Plenty more out there.

Don't look at what is in front of you and try to decide if you want it. Decide what you want and then look for it.

Don't be too willing to compromise. Especially on things that are important to you.

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PB3131

I would try getting the the cockblock one and try looking for others. The bad sex from the ex isn't worth it. I am dealing with that now and i want back in the game. Baggage is bad, clingy huge turn off... she might also be stalker type if u break it off.

Honestly, look for some better options haha. The cock block one is best choice though. Try going exclusive with her.

I'm going out tonight and I ran into the HB S earlier today on the bus, she's gonna be there as well. I just hope the cockblocking guy isnt around (he's always around ) and she won't kiss me in front of him because she thinks its sad for him. I tried isolating her last time he was around but he just follows her _every_ fucking where. He also gave me the "oh hey its you again " a couple of times, he's pretty intimidated I think, because he knows whats up, but why won't he just fuck off?

First time I went in for the kiss she turned her cheek, so I thought it was a lost cause, but then that guy left and she explained that she wanted me to kiss her, but not in front of him because of his crush. I said "well, then you now have a chance to redeem yourself" or something like that and she kissed me haha.

Anyway, my ex (HB X) told me last night that she wanted to come spend the night at my place asap, so I told her "oh because I have peanutbutter for breakfast I bet" (to find out if she wanted to have sex). She replied that she didnt want peanutbutter, but she wanted me. This is the first time she ever initiated anything, I always told her before that she should come and spend the night. Confusing, yesterday I was convinced I shouldn't see my ex anymore but now it seems like she's initiating sex, which is really a big change from her. And one of the reasons I maybe shouldnt see her anymore was the lack of (good) sex.

Maybe, as a measure of insurance, you can ask a couple of close female friends of yours to go out tonight, too, and help you by keeping the cockblocker busy. In any case, it seems like it's time you asked HB S out on a date, just the two of you. I assume she wouldn't bring along the guy as her chaperone