So many openers? How do I remember them?



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PostPosted: Tue Jan 26, 2010 3:25 pm 
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Hey all, I thought I'd share a method with you guys on how I avoid coming up blank...

Also, I think this is a pretty good method for improving your memory in general. But for the sake of this topic lets keep it purely to remember openers. (contrary to popular belief this is not NLP)

A while back I watched a movie entitled ''Good Will Hunting''. Personally I would describe the main character as a genius, he was certainly impressively intelligent. In a nutshell the ignorant buffoons with whom I was enjoying the movie believed that the main character possessed a ''photographic memory''. I'm sure you have all heard of a photographic memory, whilst its existence is debatable, I personally find it to be non existent, well not in the sense of which it is currently understood. Instead let me introduce you to the term 'eidetic memory'. Those with eidetic memory can recall a vast number of sounds and images with great accuracy, though those such as 'Stu Ungar' (the poker champ) claim to possess such a mind, this has yet to be tested and documented accurately.

The human brain is a complex thing but it can be accepted that each brain has a capacity limit, some people possessing greater capacities than others. It is generally accepted that the average person can recall seven chunks of information at one time, i.e. 7 digits. I'm sure right now your thinking ''hey you moron, I can remember more than 7 digits''? Maybe so, but what I'm referring to is single pieces of information. For example when remembering a large number we are likely to group information making larger chunks, i.e. with the number 01273459, we may remember them as 0-12-73-459, thereby creating four chunks, instead of 8. Whilst I would like to go into this theory further, it is not entirely necessary. Those of you who would like to know more would do well to read ''The magical number seven, plus or minus 2'' 1956 by G Miller.

Whilst I have mentioned the ''average person'' I believe that almost anyone can improve their memory through the use of memory aids known as mnemonics. A popular mnemonic is the 'link system'. Coupled with the Von Restorff effect, this can be an effective tool. In simple terms, the link system is exactly what the name implies.

For example to remember the list;

Monkey
Door
Postman
Phone
Envelope

One may link each item to another, i.e. imagining a huge monkey walking through a revolving door to see a postman on the phone who then puts it in an envelope and posts it to the next item in the list. For those of you who are not familiar with the Von Restorff effect which I have mentioned, it is simply the theory that in order to achieve better recall, images have to be bright and bizarre, i.e. you're more likely to remember a man walking down the street naked, than just an average clothed Joe. The Von Restorff effect will apply to all mnemonics discussed here.

Whilst the linking method is useful, I prefer to use the 'loci method' which I personally believe produces better recall. This method has been used in England in the past, however in the late 1500's it was attacked by the Puritans as it calls up obscure and bizarre thoughts. However I have an assortment of absurd thoughts running through my head, and I'm perfectly fine...or so I'd like to think.

The word Loci refers to locations, in simple terms you are aiming to create a memory map of locations which are familiar to you. Those of you who are familiar with Hannibal Lecter may be aware of his 'memory palace', this is the loci method at its most extreme.

In order to start learning the loci method, I think the most useful location for starters is the home environment. Whilst some people like to physically walk through their homes, I find it better simply to sit in a quiet place and mentally walkthrough i.e. you see your front door, kitchen, bathroom or whatever, remember familiar objects for example when I walk into my house there is a radiator and a mirror on the wall closest to my left, close your eyes if necessary, do this a few times.

When you're comfortable with your mind map you can start adding pictures into your mind map. If you fail to remember objects when walking through your mind map, this is probably because you are not using the Von Restorff effect as well as you could, make pictures bright bold and bizarre. Find relevant images to remember more complex terms i.e. to remember the word 'socialism' I picture an attractive girl being social with me as I walk through the living room.

Don't be disheartened if this doesn't work so well at first, practice makes perfect, or almost perfect. Also you should not that the loci method doesn't work when creating maps based on locations which are dark, or where you have had bad experiences, I struggle when using my old school which I wasn't very fond of, but do well using museums and the London aquarium and the various university campuses I am familiar with. Once you have mastered loci you can use different locations, and recall should be faster and you will be able to produce images more vividly and clearly.


Ok lets bare the above in mind and use an example. I approach a girl in a club, my mind goes blank!!! I turn to Loci, the first thing on my Loci map is a blind man as I walk through my front door. The blind man represents the 'blind date' opener (I am going on a blind date with some girl and I am very nervous about it. Is there any tips you can give me so I don't look like an idiot)

Hope this was useful


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 26, 2010 3:35 pm 
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Nice one man, good post ad will surely help some people.

I usually remember openers by keeping between 3-5 on mind, for now anyway.


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 26, 2010 4:43 pm 
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I'm sure this will help people that enjoy using canned material, but at the same time I think that what you should focus on first is dealing with AA. AA is the likely culprit for making your mind go blank. And memorization of openers, to me, is like memorizing for a test. Yeah, if you are able to just remember the definitions of terms A, B, C, etc that'll help, but if you have no idea what those terms value is, how they're used, comparisons to the other terms, then you haven't learned as much.

This is certainly a good first step, but at a point I think it's more important that a guy get to a level of confidence where he doesn't need to use a memorized opener, he can just start a conversation off the top of his head.


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 31, 2010 4:54 pm 
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Actually I started learning these things for memory, scientists tested it and stuff. Something that helps me is, if it's something you need to remember, instead of typing it on the computer, or or on your phone, write it on paper. It'll supposedly incorporate it into your mind. Works for me.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 05, 2010 8:17 am 
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judge if you must, but a few of my favorite openers, or some i see right before i go out, i'll put in the memo or notepad section of my cellphone! i just pull it out and it looks like i'm texting for a second. pick one and put it away. i've only used this once when i saw a very very attractive girl in a group and i got a little excited and drew a blank. pulled out my phone, reinforced my confidence with my "openers" memo, picked one i thought would work, and approached!

this is of course nothing to do while you're talking to a girl. a preliminary approach technique, if you will.

hope this helps!

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PostPosted: Tue Feb 09, 2010 9:09 pm 
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Unless I am messing around with a wingmen and we are daring each other and stuff, I pretty much instantly forget every opener that I have ever read during the approach, and all that comes out is a "hey what's up". Never fails though.


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