ONEITIS - Hopefully the most helpful post yet!



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PostPosted: Thu Jan 14, 2010 9:05 pm 
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great post!!


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PostPosted: Sat Jan 16, 2010 4:28 am 
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ok chillin first of all just wondering if u hav posted ur report on ur oneitiis or not? and secondly was just wondering if i could hav ur opinion on this...
okso i managed to isolate my oneitis to the beach. we were there for about 3 hours (the weather was bad but she still wanted to go which im going to take as a BIG ioi) anyways i spent most of the time building comfort because that is what my interactions with her have lacked so far. a few hours after i got home i sent her a message. from there on we were txting/facebook/msn for hours (alot more than normal).
so the next move from here is to go for the kiss close... but i dont want to kiss close as tho she is a booty call or a random spur of the moment kiss. i want her to kno that i want to be with her and for her to feel the same. any ideas?
Sorry man been real busy, no I have not posted it yet I will get on that soon.

Second, to kinda reiterate on what Bmitchell said, I certainly dont think k-closing her will be a step back in any way like you seem to put it. Strangely enough when people have oneitis they are normally concerned about the friendship aspect and whether or not the girl actually wants to be kissed... your situation is completely different but similar because you are thinking of possible consequences and subtly convincing yourself it is not the right move. Stupid mind games we play with ourself. I found that interesting lol.

Ok anyways, yeah man go for it, the first kiss can be a big barrier but once it is gone things become much easier. Seems as though going in for the k-close in your situation is fine, you both want it so let it happen.

I like Bmitchell's advice btw, and this is in general, I always found going in with lower expectations (i.e. not expecting to hook up with girl your meeting with (oneitis or not) or not trying to game every female that walks in the room) can lead to better results. Especially in the oneitis situation, you take a ton of pressure off your shoulder, you become you, and things happen naturally.

Good luck--- hope everyone is making progress --- let me know --- till then stay chilllin (that was one of the gayest things Ive ever said o well)


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PostPosted: Sat Jan 16, 2010 5:00 am 
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For you dazz, sounds like your on the right track. At this point I guess I wouldnt consider it oneitis, but if you guys dont get anywhere over the next couple weeks and you still like her and it starts affecting you... then yeah maybe I would consider it oneitis.

K I have never been through this situation, every girl I have fucked has been or led to a girlfriend or I truely didnt care or have feelings for them. What I can say is once again Bmitchell's advice is pretty solid, act normal and stay true what got you the f-close in the first place. She is obviously attracted to that so keep it up. Dont let the fact that fucked or that you like her make you act differently and be a pusy. Dont let this get you to the point where she becomes your oneitis. To do that dont overthink things, dont force anything unnatural upon her, and be yourself.

She didnt actually say that she doesnt want a relationship after this etc, you may just be over thinking and complicating things by inferring it. There is a big difference.


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PostPosted: Sat Jan 16, 2010 11:46 am 
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Cheers Guys!
You been a big help, to be honest as i was writing it, i sort of realised what it is i have to do, which as you say just dont push things, dont become clingy or anything and just continue as normal, and things are going really well so far, if anything i think ive managed to turn it round a bit so she thinks she likes me more then i like her
Thanks for the sound advice!


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PostPosted: Sat Jan 23, 2010 12:26 am 
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Joined: Sun Jan 03, 2010 2:21 pm
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Location: australia
ok i spose this is kind of a oneitis field report...
ok so my boss has caught on to the fact that i like this girl, she said to me (in front of the girls brother haha) "safety, i dont want u flirting with # so much today. i think u hav the hots for her".
and then later when i was talking to my target (i told her i wasnt allowed to talk to her to make it more fun) my boss came up and said "i told u not to talk to #" at this pointmy target looks at me like wtf?. haha. this was at the end of my shift so i left. that night i sent her a msg saying "thanks for getting me in trouble..." to which she replied well.
anyways here is the important part.
last night i was at a music festival and she msgd me saying can we meet up? so i meet up with her hugged her took her by the hand, and we were interacting as though we were a couple (the way we were kinoing) then her frend shows up and she kinda turned into a 3rd wheel. but when i asked my target if she would come dance, she said she didnt wanna leave her frend. so i told her i was leaving. she decided she would come with me so now we are all walking to the train station and i am freezing her out. then she gets all flirty again and it seems as though im in again.
so what? she really didnt wanna leave her frend? she wasnt completely comfortable? i dont know.
im going to her birthday party a week from now. do u think i should just isolate and make a move?


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