| It is OK to fail.
Stop fearing the failure!
You will be a better man.
A lot of people, like almost everybody I know including myself hate to lose. We hate the feeling of failure. That is why we try to avoid the situation where we are used to fail as much as possible. This makes sense from a short-term perspective but I challenge you to see beyond that scope.
Nobody´s perfect. That sounds like a lame excuse and it is. But it is true. We all have issues, we all have weaknesses, we all have demons. In life, these shortcomings act to limit our actions to protect us from the big dangerous world outside. In nature, failure can mean the death of yourself and your offspring. Failure is something to be avoided. Nowadays, the world we live in is pretty safe. Ok, there are dangers, you might be shot, you might be hit by a car, you might get an allergic shock when cuddling your sisters hamster. Yeah, those real dangers are something we should stay away from. But apart from that, there are not many real dangers left. We can safely fail daily. We can try out new things. We can experiment. Yes, you might end up losing respect, aquaintances, coolness etc. But thats nothing compared to what you are sure to lose if you never try. It is ok to fail as long as you learn from it.
The shortcomings, or inner demons that torment us are in the best cases things we know about. We might know that we become jumpy around girls or we might know that we feel uncomfortable in the bar area. Why is that good? Because we know about them. We can gather up the strength to deal with them. If we are strong enough, we can rationalize and realize that they do not serve any purpose and we can kill that demon.
Another class of demons are the ones that we know that we have deep down inside but dont dare to think about. Those guys are bad. Something might have happened that is too painful to think about, hence you will never deal with that demon. Obviously, I think that you should still fight the demon or at least face it but yes it is difficult.
The worst class of demons are the ones you dont know that you have. You just automatically avoid any situation that feel uncomfortable without knowing why. You dont realize that there is something in your head that tell you to run away. Those bastards come up from the nether regions of our mind and stab us in the back when we least expect it.
So the steps to kill a demon.
1. Identify what the demon looks like. Does it have a purpose, is it protecting yourself from some situation that has hurt you in the past. What would happen if you were in that situation?
2. Accept that you have a demon (a problem). Accept the ways in which it limits your options in life.
3. Face your demon. You need to stop running from the situation that you are afraid of. Unless of course it is a real danger. Not all demons have to be killed, sometimes it is enough to just know that you can face it and not give in to it.
4. Kill it. Go into that situation and practice it. Learn how to deal with it. Learn how to beat the demon without avoiding it. If you KNOW that you can deal with the situation since you have done so on numerous occasions you will reduce the fear.
So basically. It is OK to fail. The things that we fear to do are normally things that we are not good at. So we never practice them and we never eliminate the fear. We never kill that demon. We compensate by practicing things that we are already good at so that we wont have to fail while we get experience. I think that we have to reverse this thinking. The things that we fear are the ones we MUST practice. Because we suck at it. It limits us. If we want to eliminate our limits we must practice the things that we suck at.
As I said, short term we avoid the unpleasantness of the situation but long term we block our own path to greatness. Better to short term take the pain and long term get rid of it.
Go out there, suck real hard and learn from it!
Ezo
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CHAT