So I like to think I'm pretty smart about talking to girls on okcupid; I stay cocky and funny while pulling subjects from their profiles; I manage to keep the ones I like pretty interested, but they always back out at the last minute when it comes to the actual date. Whether they agree to go and stand me up or just don't agree to go, I've yet to progress to the point of actually getting a date, which is annoying.

I have a bit of trouble with rejection, I guess. As shown below, I revert to some AFC stuff when she says no. I come back strong, but my head's not totally in it. I haven't really fully internalized the proper attitude, I guess. Need more confidence.

her : Im sorry dude i cant come tonight
me : Aw what happened?
her : Got asecond job. They hired faster than i thought and orentation is in the morning
me : Cool. Well whats next week look like?
her : Let me see what both jobs get me on schedual. Im sorry dude
me : S' not a big deal. I've got this party to go to tonight, I'll just show up on time instead of being fashionably late. Don't spend too much time playing hard to get with someone whos hard to get though...
her : Lol i dont play hard to get :p games annoy me. Enjoy the party
me : Good to hear. See you soon kitten. :p

I've already written this one off as done, but I'm wondering if there's something obviously wrong here. Basically, girls keep giving excuses, then telling me they're still interested. Why are they doing that?

I once had a girlfriend who would make plans with me, then not call/come over. I was even more of an AFC then than now (and I still suck) so I kept accepting her excuses and making plans only to have it happen again.

Apparently, it was her way of breaking up with me without having to actually break up with me. I was just slow to get the hint.

However, I don't think your conversation above really looks THAT bad. Maybe asking right away what she was doing next week was slightly overboard, but I doubt that caused her to back off...

Maybe she just already decided she didn't like you for some other reason? Would that have been your first date? Could just be cold feet about meeting someone for the first time too...

more. different girl this time:
I'd been talking with this one for a while, gave her my number and she gave hers, along with a note that said "I talk a lot on here but I'm shy in person". My notes inset, enclosed with [brackets]. Redacted info replaced in (parenthesis).


her : Hey what's up? (hername)
me : Not much. Heh don't worry about being shy. I'll probably get lost in those gorgeous eyes and not notice
her : Aww ur sweet lol
me : I know, aren't i just great?
I'm not too good at the piano[she'd asked about that], I mostly just play to relax. Hey, you ever go to (name of a nearby park)?
her : Lol yes u do seem pretty cool. Well hey at least you can play piano. Yeah I go to there while I can. Which one?[the park has several entrances, they all have nature-y names]
me : beats me. I just park at (road1) and (road2) and hike from that entrance. I was planning on taking my dog tomorrow, we should go together if it's not too cold.
her : That sounds cool. I've never been there. I'd love to go but I have a shoot tomorrow. And my car has been towed :/
But ill take a raincheck or something
me : Hm ok. Well let me know when your schedule clears up. How'd you get your car towed? [my attempt at a neg]
her : My gear shift won't work.
me : Sorry to hear that. [freeze out? desperately trying to somehow punish for the "no"]
her : Whatcha up to tonight? (bored)
me : Laundry, cooking. Nothing special. I do have this karate class to get to tonight though. [trying to cut the conversation off, but of course it doesn't work since she didn't know about that yet...]
her : Awesome that sounds fun. What level? I used to do kickboxing and karate.
me : First class is tonight actually [feeling pretty down at this point, feelin reaaaal AFC]
her : Sweet. Have fun for me!
me : Ha, I'm afraid you'll beat me up if I don't! [probably a bad move]
let me know when you get your car back though. I'm just dying to take you out.

Once I get that "no", I crash and burn every time. Either that or I just cut off any interaction at all. Are these shit-tests? Am I overreacting?

Onoma: I'm working off of OkCupid, so these would have been first dates. Could be cold feet about meeting in person, but the thing that gets me is I seem to be getting the all clear up until and even after the "no".

I took some tips for Jeffy which is to be fucking relentless! Basically just ask for a later time and if she has some plans ask her to cancel.

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I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. ~Winston Churchill