Showing Intent



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A Sticking Point or SP is an issue you CONSISTENTLY run into.

It is NOT a point where you get stuck with ONE SPECIFIC GIRL.

A Sticking Point is:
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I keep getting LMR whenever I bring girls back to my place. This has happened at least 10 times already! What am I doing wrong?
A Sticking Point is NOT:
Quote:
I got LMR with this one girl! What do I do?
IT IS AGAINST THIS BOARD'S RULES TO POST THREADS ABOUT JUST ONE GIRL
If you have not already gone out and practiced enough to have a real Sticking Point from meeting an ABUNDANCE of women, YOU DO NOT DESERVE TO POST HERE.



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 Post subject: Showing Intent
PostPosted: Sat Jan 09, 2010 4:11 pm 
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Does anyone else have a problem with getting your intentions across to a girl. I am doing much better at opening, talking, and being cocky slash funny but I always seem to hold back whenever it comes to sexual framing or just letting the girl know I'm interested in more than just talking. It's like i'm afraid she will figure out i'm flirting! sounds stupid but hey its a problem.

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PostPosted: Sat Jan 09, 2010 7:10 pm 
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Kino.

just that simple :)


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PostPosted: Fri Jan 15, 2010 12:30 am 
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Hmm, i guess i wasn't very clear about the problem. It is more of an anxiety about the girl knowing that I am interested. Anyone else sort of have "oh shit i can't be that cocky and flirty, she will know I am in to her!" flash through their minds when talkign to girls? I overcome it most of the time through sheer will power but was wondering if others felt that sort of anxiety.

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PostPosted: Fri Jan 15, 2010 1:29 am 
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Showing interest is not a bad thing. She needs to know that you are interested in her (to an extent). You dont want to come across as being the guy who is foaming at the mouth over her, but showing a bit of interest is quite normal. Being flirtatious lets her know that you are feeling the same attration as her. Just be comfortable with the fact that its okay to show interest and you'll be fine.


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 Post subject: Re: Showing Intent
PostPosted: Fri Jan 15, 2010 3:27 am 
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Quote:
Does anyone else have a problem with getting your intentions across to a girl. I am doing much better at opening, talking, and being cocky slash funny but I always seem to hold back whenever it comes to sexual framing or just letting the girl know I'm interested in more than just talking. It's like i'm afraid she will figure out i'm flirting! sounds stupid but hey its a problem.
You need to have sexual Confidence which would come with well...more sex. But for the moment yes KINO ESCALATE and don't be afraid to show through your actions in a NON CREEPY WAY that you are into more than just Talking !

You Dont Get laid by just FLUFF Talk !!


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 18, 2010 1:54 pm 
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Thanks for the support guys. So how about throwing in a few lines that would exhibit sexual confidence, and indicate interest without coming off as excessively creepy. Or lines that indicate interest while not coming off as a drooling wolf.

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PostPosted: Mon Jan 18, 2010 4:05 pm 
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You could say like "oh wow on my way over here (if you're meeting up with her) i saw a car bumping and the windows were pretty foggy from the heat, guess they had a nice party in there" and then switch to "have you ever done it in a weird place?" and then for your 'dhv' you could be like "couple of years ago me and an ex joined the mile high club, damn i was so scared to get caught".

For mee, personally, talking about sex is not so much my thing. I know there are quite some guru's that say that talking about sex makes a woman think about it, and thats true I suppose. Kino just goes a long way as well and the transition from making out to the bedroom is really easy (with most girls). A simple "i want you" whispered in her ear after kissing/biting her neck goes a long way bro.

But then again your problem was showing your intentions sorry for drifting off :P Don't be afraid to show intent when you are comfortable with eachother.


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 20, 2010 12:52 am 
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I've run into the same SP. Hehe it's kinda funny because when starting of in pick up I tried to hide my intent, because "otherwise you will get blown out on the opener" :wink:
I am still trying to solve this problem as well, so I don't expect to give you the great solutions I would like to give you. I've watches some clips and read some articles about this problem and these are my current thoughts. (Please keep in mind that I still have to check in field if this will solve the problem)

My biggest problem is WHEN to show intent and HOW to show it.
Kino is a good one, but when to start kino and how to kino.
Of course you should start kino from the beginning, but WHEN to amp up your kino and make it more sexually.. I've had some ON-nights where this went ok, but most of the time this kept me from escalating it further and the interaction would die out :?
(For the experienced guys: Is my observation correct, that the interaction dies out when you don't show intent and always remain in attraction/comfort??)

I've watched DJ Fuji's talk during the under21convention and he emphasized something I already knew: the importance of qualification is to show the girl that you like her for more reasons then her looks.
So I think I've figured out the WHEN. Her qualifying can be inter pretended as her showing interest. And when she shows interest I am also allowed to show her direct interest :) (Verbally and/or with kino).
(This should also solve my LMR-issues which I almost always experience)

I've (hehe hopefully :wink: ) got the 'HOW-answer' from Psych, while watching his talk at the under21convention. "Match the sexual chemistry the girl is giving you and up it a little bit". This gives me some kind of baseline to work on my calibration.

Hope this helps. And I am very curious what you think about this!
If you have any questions: just ask.

Dutch Student


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 20, 2010 2:03 am 
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Quote:
(For the experienced guys: Is my observation correct, that the interaction dies out when you don't show intent and always remain in attraction/comfort??)
This is correct, though you may still get interaction, but as a friend.

Also you can SHOW intent, but if you dont act on it (k/f-close) then it will die out as well.


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 20, 2010 2:38 am 
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Hi! Yes, I recognise that as well. You can't imagine how many interactions I can think of in which I made this mistake haha. Starting to work in it. Thanks a lot!

Dutch Student


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 21, 2010 3:51 am 
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So I have been attempting to work on my Kino escalation and am rather pleased with my progress. I find that a grils response to your KINO is the easiest way to get IOI's. Girls respond pretty differently according to their interest in you. I find simply offering your hand and leading them to different parts of the locale whether it be bar/party/coffee shop is a very telling interaction. Those not interested will either not follow or sort of lag behind. The hand squeeze is also pretty neat in my opinion. These kino techniques are still pretty low on the showing intent level though. What are some kino techniques do you all use to suggest intent (level 2), and those you use to solidify intent (level 3) the sort of stuff you would be doing right before you go in for a kclose.

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PostPosted: Thu Jan 21, 2010 2:49 pm 
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A buddy of mine had a similar anxiety about the girl knowing he was interested, and what worked for him was to shock himself out of the mindset using, appropriately enough, the Shock and Awe method of direct game.

http://www.puaratings.com/articles/ciaran-shock-and-awe


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 21, 2010 9:22 pm 
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Theres that line by Juggler (I think)
"You're not only sexy but also fun to talk to!"

It's gold, try testing it to see the reaction, you'll be suprised.


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PostPosted: Fri Jan 22, 2010 5:59 am 
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"You're a cool chick. If I wasn't trying to get in your pants I'd still talk to you."

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PostPosted: Tue Jan 26, 2010 9:03 pm 
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Good stuff guys. I am getting a lot better at getting my point across, and feeling good about it. So here’s one I came up with and have been implementing into my game.

Me: Hey, can you do me a favor and blink real quick?
GIRL : * bats her eyelashes at you* then:
Me: Okay, thanks, I just wanted to make sure you were flirting with me.

OR IF NO

Me: “Okay, well, I guess well just, kind of, leave that thing were it is.” *While pointing and squinting at imaginary flaw.*

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