The other week I was in a loud pub/bar with some friends when I noticed a group of about six guys staring at me. I could tell from the corner of me eye they were doing it and could tell they were whispering to each other. Anyway, after about an hour of this one of them came up to me and said

"Hi, me and my friends where just thinking over there that you look just like a girl that we used to know called Tanya.....are you called Tanya?".

I said no, smiled and turned around. I knew it was probably a way for them to get my name and I REALLY don't feel comfortable with guys coming up to me in loud bars (especially loud alpha male ones).

I smiled to myself knowing they'd be back in a minute, not having completed their little mission. Honestly they were like little boys lol.

They tapped me on my shoulder again and said "So what IS your name then?"

To which I replied with a raised eyebrow "And why do you think I should tell you what my name is?"

Reply "We just want to make sure you're not that girl we used to know"

WTF??????? I was so embarrassed at this point I just had to ignore then and hope they'd go away!!

Is this a PUA way of getting a girl's name or something, becuase if it is it's really lame and obvious!!

That sounds pretty AFC to me.

Poor guy trying his best =( He just forgot to set the time constrait =(...

What is your opinion toward what he should of done you not rising your eye brown?
Are you Tanya?

[ Johnny B ]

_________________
When you lose, don't lose the lesson. ~Author Unknown
Fear has a large shadow, but he himself is small. ~Ruth Gendler

What is your opinion toward what he should of done you not rising your eye brown?

Sorry can you rephrase that? I don't understand....do you mean 'what do I think he should have done for me not to raise my eyebrow?'

Wrong person to ask lol! I am almost impossible to approach in those environments - and I have a boyfriend (and for those who are interested I don't come on the forums to pick up PUA tips, I come becuase I'm interested in psychology.)
Coffee shop yes, library yes, museum - definetly yes. Loud bar with lots of drunk people - NO.

Lol - I am a robot who looks just like Tanya but she has control over me - she makes me do bad things.

hahaha

Dont get flattered. Im not trying to pick you up so there is no need for you to qualify yourself to me.

What i meant with the eyebrown thing was that what he did wrong. Give me some details behind that " opener ".
Was he breaking your personal space? Was he touching you from wrong places? Was he ugly? Was he drunk? Bodylanguage? Voice tonality? Did he sound or act like he was inside his comfort zone? Was it just the opener?
Give me something what made him look bad in your eyes and not just saying that it was AFC thing to do just because you are hard to approach in those environments ( + because you have a boyfriend ).
If you are virtually impossible to approach in a bar than it doesent matter if there were 1000 mysterys pulling rabbits from their hats right infront of you.
I need some details so i can ponder them through. This will help us to understand what he could of done to get through that shield of yours so that we can use that information in the future if we run into a girl who has the same problem as you have.

[ Johnny B ]

_________________
When you lose, don't lose the lesson. ~Author Unknown
Fear has a large shadow, but he himself is small. ~Ruth Gendler

FemaleArtist... I'm curious to undersand the psychology of what it means to be "impossible to approach in those kind of environments especially by loud alpha males". How do you perceive the men in those environments and what impact specifically does the environment itself play on those perceptions? In inother words, if the environment wasn't loud, would your perception of the men change? And could it be that your unapproachableness is a manifestation of your fears related to such environments, such as due to women who are raped or murdered on account of meeting men in such environments. Kinda sorta like one's fear of flying, be ultra apprehensive due to merely boarding an airplane eventhough the airplane hasn't even started it's engines yet, could it be similar with you in that you fear the potential outcome of what could happen to you by men who approach you in such environments, eventhough they're merely just striking up small conversation and asking your name.

I wonder this, because I think it all boils down (psychologically) to an issue of fear, which is why preselection, time-contraits, etc work well in such environments, but I would love to learn if there's a silver bullet that a man can say to you in such circumstances to make you feel more comfortable with his approach.

Also, as a female, are loud alpha males attractive to you in general?

This is what we in the community call an AFC action. A (sober) PUA would never do that.

Johnny B. you're fucking hilarious lol. I just imagined this as if it were a real convo, not a forum, the way you approached the topic is so.. investigative, like a principle looking for the phantom urinal shitter. I'm not laughing at you I just have a warped sense of humor.

-Sigh-

In a perfect world Female*Artist would have said something so this poor guy would know what he was doing wrong and not repeat this behavior with other women lol.

There are many reasons why hot girls are easier to approach in "libraries, Cafe shops and ... compared to clubs" without getting shut down!
U see, when a hot girl goes clubbing or to a Bar, she expects all sort of guys approaching her (drunk, sleezy, weirdo's and so one) so they get into their defense mood to shut them down. Which guys know as "being bitchy". The whole night and club scene is not a safe and comfortable environment! As a guy, Im always worried about getting into fights or stabbed and ...
But in day light, girls feel safer, they are in a social place with lots of other people who are not drunk, or try-hards or trouble makers! And that safety of day time and social place, makes them to be more open to conversations and approaches!

Johnny,

What the hell is an eyebrown?

Learn to spell.

That is all.

PS - All those guys fucked up in the first place by standing around and staring at her for an hour. It really ain't a big urinal deuce mystery like you're making it out to be

well.. maybe they heard it or read about it somewhere, or thought it would work... is it a "PUA trick"?... well if the art would have been based on lines alone we would probably be a bounch of sad sad afc's

ps
not every guy aproaching a girl with a line is a rAFC/PUA... most of them are just guys (AFC) tying to aproach a lady

_________________
"StreetLight!! Stop seeing every problem in life like it's a chick you didn't hit on!"

Those guys were most likely very nervous.

That is not the way a PUA would deal with the situation. That is the opposite. First off, going in with a lame question like that shows neediness. Why would you wanna know the name of the girl? If she is interested she will tell you. I never introduce myself, I wait for her to ask. Asking for the name is an IOI.

Asking for the name is not a way to start conversation, where do you take it from there?

The root of the problem aint that those guys were stareing at her. Like she said, she feels uncomfortable in those kinds of environments generally ( loud bars etc. ). I was offering thoughts for her to ponder if the problem was in her instead of in that guy.

Instead of giving an obvious answer from a PUA book like you did, i was trying to make her go deeper and make her rationalize the situation again in a new perspective via my questions. Those questions in it self wasnt the purpose/ thing i was after. Instead, it was the process i was offering for her to ponder through inorder to make her observe/ understand her inner me ( concerning that high shield she is having ) in a new light.

[ Johnny B ]

_________________
When you lose, don't lose the lesson. ~Author Unknown
Fear has a large shadow, but he himself is small. ~Ruth Gendler

I like to use the "do i know you from somewhere?" everyone once in a while. After that I clearly state "I'm kidding, I think you look cute and wanted to meet ya"


and why beat down someone that's being SOCIAL?

Correct, which is why I think it's best to 1) Not dress like a sleeze bag 2) arrive early 3) start gaming as soon as you walk in... that way it's difficult for her to judge you as a drunk, a sleaze, or a weirdo.

By the way, those guys who approached her made so many mistakes it's ridiculous. You never eyeball a chic to death and let her see you eyeballing her before you approach. It just totally murders your game before you even get started, let alone if other chics are seeing you do that lol