How to get GF to initiate??



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PostPosted: Thu Jan 07, 2010 11:31 pm 
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Me and GF have been dating for 3 months and it is pretty serious, the problem is, I feel like I have to initiate everything. Everytime I visit her or everytime she visits me, I have to tell her.. As well as I have to tell her to text me or call me at a certain time. I do this because I feel that if I don't tell her, she won't do it herself. I have brought it up to her and she says she never really initiated before and that she will try yet I still feel I am the one initiating.. When I do initiate, she responds positively completely. Any suggestions?


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PostPosted: Fri Jan 08, 2010 4:15 am 
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Me and GF have been dating for 3 months and it is pretty serious, the problem is, I feel like I have to initiate everything. Everytime I visit her or everytime she visits me, I have to tell her.. As well as I have to tell her to text me or call me at a certain time. I do this because I feel that if I don't tell her, she won't do it herself. I have brought it up to her and she says she never really initiated before and that she will try yet I still feel I am the one initiating.. When I do initiate, she responds positively completely. Any suggestions?
Im kind of in a similar relationship. She seems to intiate more than your gf though. She intiates almost all texts and dates at about 50%. But she doesnt show the higher level of enthusiasm or interest towards the relationship like I am used to.

Just my two cents....I wouldnt take it as too bad a thing. Its just been 3 months. And you are leading the seduction and she is obviously enjoying it because if I understand correctly, she agreeing or being docile about it. Leading is good, I think. At the right time, you need to just flip tables with her (as Hobbit suggests)

I noticed too absence seems to help. I went on a trip for a week and when I came back she intiated more, couldnt leave me alone for 8 days.

I would try shortening texts, delay contact longer (be it text or whatever), feigning some indifference or less interest and see what happens. But I would try do so after a night that you have felt closer or like when you clearly had a great weekend. Try to get that balance.


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PostPosted: Fri Jan 08, 2010 2:03 pm 
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Interesting how scenarios can differ: in mine, if I try to initiate it doesn't work, I usually end up waiting until she initiates.

In terms of contact, I've recently started to make less of an effort to be the first to initiate and it worked, with her contacting me.

In terms of making plans, I've given up trying, I know that when she wants to she'll ask me to do something - if I'm not already busy, I'm generally happy to do it.

I'm currently trying the idea of not initiating something for a long while until she's basically desperate, then when I come up with an idea she'll accept no matter what because she misses me.

That's the idea anyway ..


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 27, 2010 4:11 pm 
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Man Ive been dating this girl for a year and a half and alot of the time I have the same damn problem.


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