So I made a thread a couple of days ago.

girlfriend-broke-up-with-me-very-very-l ... 59343.html

Hoping to get some of the same guys to help and whoever else.


The relationship was great, she was affectionate, not needy, sex was amazing, spoiled me rotten and a laugh, even till the last day, she bought me so much for xmas aswell and neither of us is minted, shes a student and Ive come from an injury and not working. yeah there was ups and downs and i got jealous over a few things, but so did she.


But all my friends are saying, she took you granted and I think its true. even one of her friends, who is a friend of mine said she spoke to her on the phone and she said, she was saying on the phone that im confused and our friend said I think she took u for granted.
She then called me an idiot for sleeping with her the day after we knew we were finished.

Anyway. She just send me a big email on facebook, my ex that is. Ill make a new thread so people can see it as a new story.

She said. jist.
So yeah homies (jk), what do I do?

Part of me knows she's not a crazy bitch and normal strategies dont work, shes very strong and I dont want to make the wrong move. She's obviously telling me how she feels, my ex wouldnt talk to me every again and we spent 6 years together in the hardest moments of my life she left me and wouldnt even txt me ever again. I learnt from that and havent chased this one.
We're all meant to go and see her on the 18th. I wont sleep with her again or even hold her hand unless she tells me she wants me back and gives me a good reason she wont do this again.

How old is she again?

Just judging from what I read in that email, it seems to me like she is still figuring out what she wants from the world(be it school, relationships, whatever). She obviously still cares a LOT about you, but she is going through a transition and "probably" needs some space(IMO).

It's good that you two are still friendly/contacting each other, I would keep that distance for awhile, go see her for her party, keep in contact, but give her some time to figure stuff out before trying things again.

As for taking you fro granted, yes that's the feeling I get from that email, when she was saying stuff like "not knowing how much you meant to her" etc, it all seems to me like it was a problem on her end, she took you for granted and didn't notice when things started to go sour.

She's 20, 21 in July.

Im 24. I dont date younger girls cause I prefer they know what a good man is and what isnt a good man.

Like my ex, she was 2 years younger than me, but I was her first everything. kiss, bf, engaged. and I think she wanted to know what other guys are like.

But her, a made a joke that she would probably marry this guy one day. and she said well why are you with me. I said, well we're going out arent we, I dont want to hear 1 day that you dont know what other guys are like, like what my ex did to me. and she came back and said, Ive been with enough guys to know who I want to be with.

She's use to her ex's chasing her, and even her first love, Im her 2nd supposedly, still hangs around with her, drives her everywhere does everything for her.
He even gave a lift to one of her other boyfriends.

I know she cares about me and thank you for telling me.

My friends and including one of her friend, who has kinda taken my side, she said, just tell her, its too soon, im not coming and u were the one who broke up with me.

I do love her and want her back, but I can see she is confused. she wants me, but obviously not enough, but her email threw me off. how shall I reply?cold, telling her I love her, she knows I do.
Shall I keep on the fact she told me she wants to be with me again one day, and she has never wanted somene so bad

I would focus on the fact that she said she is confused/doesn't really know yet what she wants in a guy(that and the fact she took you for granted). Don't outright say those things, but hint at them at least.

I would phrase it around something like giving her space to consider all her options, and that down the road if she figures things out and still wants to be with you, that you will consider it.

I dont think she said she doesnt know what she wants in a guy, maybe she is thinking it, but the reason she broke up was, because uni and work. and she's confused if she wants me

Being confused doesn't give her a right to try and keep you around while she figures things out. How long is it going to take? Who knows??? Are you gonna be the chump to stay around to wait and hope she comes around? I seriously hope not. Right now, it doesn't seem like anything you say rationally can convince her to FEEL otherwise. Actions speak louder than words. I think your best bet is to cut yourself off from her completely to see if you really does want you and comes crawling back. Only then would I even consider getting back together. Even if she takes you back, having just gone through this pain now, who's to say she won't get "confused" again down the road? I know love makes you irrational, but you have to do what's best for you. Best of luck!

-Risen

_________________
Rise up, rise up, rise up

Its not about how you fall...its about how you pick yourself up after you've fallen

nothing in this world thats worth having comes easy

Very true. I dont want to be that guy who says, ill hang aroud. even though she said I really really hope we get back togethe, so so much. (exact words)

And Im not even gonna suggest it to her. Im gonna make it very clear to her.

It confuses me because either she is very smart, or she is genuinly confused. she'd say, ive never wanted someone so much in my life and then says, uni and work is so hard to concentrate with. shes a manager at a bookies.
Her facebook and she'd tell her friends, she is confused about everything.

and if she did come back to me, id say, what would be different, not about the relationship, because that was great. but about her changing her mind.

Truth is, if I didnt want this to work, I wouldnt be asking everyone. If I wanted nothing to do with her, or just be friends, Id say. ok fine, good friends and treat her like a good friend. She helped me through a very hard time, my ex left me, i was going through scans wether i have cancer and my father was in prison. so im not gonna be a dick to her. that would be very easy for me.

the problem is, this is all a game, women are a game, and i want her to miss me and know she wants me for sure, theres no logical stuff i can say to her, like i love u, ill treat u good and blah blah. but the push away mehthod and being cold method normally works, but this girl is a little different, smarter than ur average bear. i know she misses me, but obviously not enough.