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 Post subject: Overcoming Reputation
PostPosted: Tue Jan 05, 2010 9:02 pm 
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Joined: Mon Dec 24, 2007 5:55 pm
Posts: 72
Location: Philadelphia
I am in a predicament where I can only really blame myself. I go to a small college and have developed a "reputation" that I feel is holding me back a little. I first realized this when I was at a party and a girl I barely knew told me she had heard things about me. Me being cocky wanted to know...and apparently it is common knowledge that I am great in bed. I thought this was great news until I realized that this is holding me back from developing real relationships with girls interested in anything besides sex.

I found this out about a month into getting to know a girl that I genuinely feel a connection with. Everything seemed to be going great, we got to know each other really well and she genuinely believed that I am no longer 'that guy.' Unfortunately, after one small event I found out that she doesn't truly believe that and doesn't trust me. She also has admitted she has trust issues herself. Since that event she has showed less interest and I get the feeling that her guard is back up. It went from any time I wanted to hang out she was over at my place soon after.... to her distancing herself from me. I am confused as to whether it is time to move on.

I have three options....
A) give her space and time to realize that she knows me better than other people
B) pursue her to show my interest because I know she is interested in me
C) move on

I know it isn't PUA to pursue a girl because people will argue it DLV, but I think that after getting to know this girl that may be what she is looking for from me. I currently have just given her space and avoided sleeping with other girls because I know it would get back to her. I am currently thinking maybe it's time to move on. Advice?

P.S. I only started hooking up with her when I dropped my guard and stopped trying PUA techniques. She seemed more interested in me when I was genuine. She is somewhat shy and guarded but has admitted that she likes how aggressive I am.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Jan 05, 2010 9:34 pm 
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Joined: Mon Nov 02, 2009 1:48 am
Posts: 80
Website: http://www.femaledatinghelp.com
Location: New Orleans
So I randomly like to quote Rhett Butler:

"With enough courage one can do without a reputation."

I think you've done about all you can do. One thing I worry about is her liking you only when you're genuine. Does that mean that you act one way around her and another way around other people? This could be the reason she has some trust issues with you.

Whatever the case, she just has to accept you for who you are even with the player reputation. If she can't, then it's time for you to get a new girl.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Jan 05, 2010 10:03 pm 
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Joined: Mon Nov 03, 2008 4:14 pm
Posts: 726
Yeuch.
Quote:
I found this out about a month into getting to know a girl
This is grim - these types of relationships are such messy battles. I couldn't spend that long seducing a gal if I tried. There's no telling what the situation is, because you may not have correctly calibrated it either.

When she says she has 'trust issues', that's complete bullshit, by the way.

You've invested so much that you will be afraid to lose her so your game will suck. Which is such a shame because the connection you've made sounds amazing, really feel for you on that front. It's almost like a paradox.

Neither of the options you gave stand out for me. I've had to deal with a few of these situations recently with people I know, trying to help them out. Probably, it's game over, not because it's game over, but because for the past 4 months your game has not been tight, no matter how tight you think it's been. You probably friendzoned her long before you even thought about this 'connection'.

If she had a romantic attraction, trust, you would either be holding hands or hips a long time ago.

Thus I think you should just confront the situation with a positive attitude and go for it. Win or lose, at least you can move on with your life.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Jan 05, 2010 10:29 pm 
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Joined: Tue May 06, 2008 7:38 pm
Posts: 728
You are in COLLEGE, the only thing you should be interested in IS $ex. Stay the hell away from anything remotely resembling a 'real' relationship.

If she wants to distance herself from you, let her, who cares. You will come across 10 girls within the next week that are ready to appreciate your 'talents' and love you for it.

I agree with Rafiel, the 'trust issue' line is a crock of $hit.

_________________
Keep people off-balance and in the dark by never revealing the purpose behind your actions. - Robert Greene


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jan 06, 2010 2:08 pm 
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Joined: Sun Jul 12, 2009 4:11 pm
Posts: 1887
Location: Netherlands
Quote:
I found this out about a month into getting to know a girl that I genuinely feel a connection with
lol you are tricking yourself into believing this ... you only know her for a month.
after you know her for 4 months and she dumps you you will realise what bitch she is. think about this : you don't really love her

it's about : Relationships aren't only about feeling a connection with someone or giving something to your partner.
It's about sharing your supremacy , sharing your perfectness.
What the hell do you want from her anyway ? she already told you the bullshit '' trust issue and i don't believe '' lines. those are a cheap way to say '' i don't love you''. notice the word : sharing , it isn't giving but it's sharing

what??: She doesn't want anything from you SO what do you want from someone who doesn't want anything from you.
i could hang up a big story but you are merely deceiving yourself, all your three options are bullshit. since you aren't in a real relationship you are already moving on , she sees it this way so you should to.
Quote:
She is somewhat shy and guarded but has admitted that she likes how aggressive I am.
who cares what she likes ??? she should accept you for who you are , you don't have to change for anyone but yourself
Quote:
now it isn't PUA to pursue a girl because people will argue it DLV
who the fuck cares what PUA think, just pursue what you really want and what you really believe in.
and i agree with gregory house ;'' sinful''

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