| In order to create a deeper connection between you and your target, avoid shooting those everyday questions like; what do you study, where do you live, what do you do for living. These questions in it self doesent include any emotional value and there fore it doesent ” shock ” her in anyway ( it doesent wake up any strong feelings inside her ). Most of the answers to those previous questions are pretty much social facts. Some of them are even given without any input of hers ( for example her name ). But yes, these questions pretty much appear in every conversation and im not suggesting that ” dont ask her name ”. Im just saying that dont expect anyting special to happen if you do so because if you really want to stick out from the ground and create rapport/ comfort than your questions should be related to something that goes more deeper and makes her emotionally open. Something that moves something inside her which basically disturbes/ shakes her emotional day time ” mental balance ” and creates the crave of getting to know you better.
When you go deeper ( for example to her childhood ) than what the modern society is constantly telegraphing through media ( the importance of your outer existance; your cloths, money and your over all wealth ) you are getting back to the root of the attraction which basically was formed in a long time ago before any of us could even speak. Yes, your money and wealth can make an impression but its not the key to the attraction. Its not ” absolute value ” which would always get you laid but can boost your game in certain circumstances. Attraction goes far deeper than what you can provide with your outer shallow surface.
When you are interacting with a girl in a deeper level ( talking about her desires, her passions, her childhood, her perception concerning the perfect man, the way she sees the world, etc. ) at the same time you are forming a strong kongnitive bond between you and her ( kongitive bond= her emotions, feelings, vibe, idea and valuation concerning you and the bond between you ).While so, you are something fresh and new in her daily base interaction which not only make her feel exited but also brings up feelings into the surfice (= you are seperateing and reflecting the real attraction that is hard wired in our brains through evolution instead of the image that the media is sending you ). Its very hard/ impossible for you to satisfy her emotional needs in a long run through your outer glam and shoulndt be something to rely on when looking for a healthy relationship/ better succes rate.
I believe these pointers are the keys among the others while building up attraction.
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Emotional investment> Financial investment
Me buying her a car doesent mean that she couldnt dump me or vice versa. Its a same thing in a club. How much do you actually think she is wondering in that head of hers when she is buying you a drink if she really finds you attractive? She aint looking for to gain money because thats not the reason why she goest to a club with her friends. Also its not the reason why she wears a tight expensive mini skirt in the middle of the winter while waiting in line. She wants something from the club that she CANT buy and IMO that thing is a guy who can satisfye her emotional and sexual needs. Someone who can shock her emotionally in a deeper level by showing that this world aint that grey after all. Someone who can eliminate that boring routined workingday. Sure, money can tie you up in some level but when you really think about it, all those meaninfull deeper relationships are based on emotional " capital "and not financial. For example take a glance at the relationship between you and your best friend. How much you actually think about your phone bill when calling her/ him or your bank account when you first met him/ her in your childhood?
Emotional investment:
All those experiences you went through together, all those secrets you two told to each other, all those fears and dreams you shared and all those future images which both of you had created in your head concerning " us " are the things that really tie people together, not the money.
Also, IMO this investment thing should be seen as its in a real business life. You dont invest ( mentally/ emotionally or financially ) to a corporation if the firm aint giving you back some profit which matches with the risk and future expectations. So, the reason why you invest to something/ someone is because you want to gain something back ( Emotional satisfaction or money ). So if you want HER to invest to YOU, you need to show her WHY she should do it. Basically this means that a good way to get her emotionally open is by you starting to share somet stuff related to your own life ( what ever you want to talk about or know about her ) and than asking guestions from her that can be associated to that topic. Dont make the mistake by only expecting to gain something from her and not giving anything back. If so, than she will find another guy ( company ) who can measure up to what she´s investing and expecting to receive back.
IF YOU ASK ME, THAN:
1) Keep the " investment " relationship balanced and focus on those emotional things that satisfies both of you instead of money.
2) Making her spend money to you or vice versa aint anything that would benefit your game when dealing with the club scene. Focus on more important things such as creating comfort and rapport.
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There are two kind of attraction:
1) Fist class attraction
2) Deeper attraction
This first one called " first class attraction " is based on your bodylanguage/ behaviour, vocal dominance and looks.
These are the factors that make them first " attracted " to you when you are opening the set. BUT, because these factors in it self aint aiming deeper, it cannot form a stable bond between you two because she hasnt " invested " to you in a much more deeper level. There is no deeper connection between you two but this still is a great foundation for your future game. Your bodylanguage and vocal dominance are the foundation of your future interaction because they cover her two major senses ( her visuality and ability to hear you ).
The second one called " Deeper attraction " is based on much more deeper level. This is where she starts investing you emotionally and due to this, she has to re- consider if she is thinking about flakeing you later on. For example take a glance at your relationship with your best mate. I bet you guys share some stuff that bonds you two to each other in a whole different level when compared to a stranger.
So what do you need before you can create this deeper connection?
You need a good level of comfort to create effective rapport ( + always remember kino because she is getting used to you touching her and boosts her level of comfort and rapport when built up right. )
Comfort= Feeling safe, eliminateing the risks and anxities
- When dealing with the factor called ” safety ” you need to focus on the surroundings around you and her. If there are some disturbing factors such as loud music or drunken loud guys; it would be a good opportunity for you to isolate her to somewhere else where you and her can talk comfortably enough without those distractive factors.
- The second thing related to feeling safe is your behaviour.
Remember that being dominant is a mindset, not a physical subject. This means that you never ever want to act abusive in any way because this is something that blows you away through her shield. Not against her or anyone on the club. You can solve things via talking and physical power should be only allowed when it´s the last option inorder to protect her from someone else.
- The third thing related to feeling safe around you is your kino.
If you havent had touched her in any physical way since you opened her than useing kino may not feel so ” natural ” as it would be when building up short kino escalations in every phase right from the start. When you touch her often enough without her even notecing it at the same time she is coming more familiar to you touching her. Now, this benefits you in many levels such as creating comfort, rapport or even when you are trying to kiss her. Remember that skin remembers every touch!
Kino is a powerfull tool in your game when used right. Just remember that you may want to start your kino escalation in a more ” invisible ”/ socially acceptable way such as useing hand shakes or high fives when first associateing in a physical level instead of putting your hands into her pants.
- The fourth thing related to this subject is that indorder to make her feel more comfortable you need to feel comfortable as well. If you dont, you send signals through your bodylanguage ( consciously or subconsciously ) that everything aint allright. This can ruin your chances when trying to create more comfortable SPAM between you and her. So relax and and dont worry what she is thinking.
In other words, dont seek approval and just relax!
After this its easier for you to create rapport when she is physically and mentally relaxed= she can communicate with you inside her comfortzone.
So what im trying to say here is that Deeper attraction is built from the inside and there fore emotionally investing is really important. Your outer glam may not have enough power to tie you two together nor prevent her flakeing you.
Also, i highly recommend that you use Jugglers 90-10 rule. It means that when you are opening your set, you need to do the " leading " part which means talking ( you do the 90% and she 10 % ). When you enter the set, her surroundings chance which is causing a small level of " shock " inside her head. Due to this, you need to be dominant ( mindset, not physically ) and take the leader place and contribute more to the conversation than usually. She needs time to " recovery " from her minimun level of " shock ". So dont expect her to do the other 50% and you the other 50%.
Be a leader, not a follower.
( A collection from some of my posts )
[ Johnny B ]
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When you lose, don't lose the lesson. ~Author Unknown
Fear has a large shadow, but he himself is small. ~Ruth Gendler
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