Whats up, this is my first post so bare with me. i wanted to share a short story to you guys to hopefully enlighten some people. I apologize in advance if it is too long but I really think this will help someone.

A quick background of me, I am only 21 but feel way older, work as a manager in a small retail store in a little city outside Charlotte NC. I had sex for the first time when I was 16 with my first "serious" girlfriend. I have never had a problem when i was younger in middle and high school with talking to or playing with and getting a girlfriend. At my prime I dated a girl her sister and her best friend all at once. I wasn't perfect at it by ANY means, I was turned down more times than the motel 6 beds but it wasn't something that bothered me too much as I make friends easily with all kinds of people (I do not judge). But soon after that my mom and step-dad split up and I moved in with her and her new bf oceanside at Myrtle Beach SC- and by the way, he was only 5 years older than me (i know its ridiculous but true) Long story short he used to abuse me (not sexually just hit and threw shit at me) I used to take it because i thought that would make me the bigger man. When I saw him hit my mom for the first time after 3 years of living with him I flipped shit, and sent him to the hospital. Later we found out he was drugging us with meth in our food. After evading jail time, I called my real dad who I almost never had contact with because i needed a new place to sleep at night I couldn't handle it alone anymore. I have been down here in this new city for right at 4 years now I did not go to school here or know anyone, and to make things worse I felt like I was trapped in a "emotional shell" I had made for myself. I was scared to meet new people and a total wreck when It came to socializing. It was so bad the first few days I had been here i was sleepwalking and pissing in my bed and that was not something I have ever done before. Skipping ahead, I got my first job working in a grocery store bagging groceries and more less being a janitor for minimum wage. Soon after a few months I was still horrendously shy and didnt make hardly any friends which is still so much unlike my old personality. Skip ahead 2 more years (2 years ago) My mom passes away (she was only 42) and to make matters worse her birthday is Christmas Day. Me and her have been through so much together I was always a "mommas-boy" I called her every night to check in and just say hey, I have hardly spoke to my dad before these last few years much less moved in with him 150 miles away. This broke my heart and was the hardest thing i have ever in my life gone through but If I had to be positive which I try really really hard to do, It has made me a whole lot stronger of a person and help me grow up a little more into a man. Little petty shit just does not bother me now. I have been fighting with this depression from her and all the drama that proceeded. I know I have seen a lot of you guys post in for asking help with depression and such. I was sleeping 16+ hours generally sad, crying every night lost touch with a lot of people. I was alone in a boat of sadness at sea with no one in sight. it doesn't get too much worse than this. I have just recently (last year or so till now) been able to get a control over these emotions not supress them by any means but just "feel through" them all the way down to the core and just experience all that sadness until the point where it is starting to pass. Its not in my blood to be a sad, mopey person who doesn't socialize but these external events in my life have caused me to feel this way.



Here's where I'm going with this, I share this with you because i want you to know, you are all unique snowflakes, even if we are surrounded by billions more unique snowflakes. We have gone through our own personal life struggles each has strengths and weaknesses. I still get unbearably sad at the most random times over my mothers death, things like smells or old movies or random thoughts in my head in the middle of a crowd full of people. This is something I cannot control BUT i have learned it is ok to feel sad about it because it is a natural human response and I learn to manage it over time. I am not embarrassed about it. This was just my way to vent to you guys who think you are the worst pickup or worst at socializing people. Your not alone, ever since all this has happened to me I still have difficulties pulling a girl with the same energy I used to. But this site and these "pickup" artist have helped me so much outside of just my "women" part of my life. I cannot thank each one of them enough they are like father figures to me. Just 2 years ago i was thinking about suicide now I wouldn't dare think about it. I learned its ok to not be perfect its ok to "fail" as long as you learn from it your golden! I haven't even kissed a girl in about 5 years so you don't have to preach to me about how bad it sucks there is a definite mood change when It has been years you might start to think your too ugly or not good enough but this is all bullshit! Fight through it and be positive. I'm not sure if its healthy or not but I find the best way from sadness to happiness is through anger. Just get pissed for a short time then calm down again. When I get really bummed out I get crunk by listening to music or lifting weights or just screaming at the top of my lungs I always get a rush and feel better. I might not have had a girlfriend or sex in a while BUT I have finally came out of this damned emotional shell I walled up to protect myself from others. I have moved up at my job to a manager status, Went and got my ged from where i dropped out of school, taken some college courses and back on the right track. I have also met a TON of people at the retail store and just branched from there, been to a ton of small parties and a club about 3 times (not big on clubs at the moment maybe one day) You can be free of depression If I can do it so can you. How do I know?? Because I'm a human flesh and blood like all of you. I am not perfect. I am just like each of you. When I make mistakes I make them big and ugly and laugh about them. Just know some things in life you CANNOT CONTROL. Embrace that fact because there is nothing you can do about it. Let the chips fall where they may. And life isnt fair and this is a good thing, if it were we couldn't study pickup and get an edge over people who don't care to learn how to improve theirself that why we are all here to improve ourselves. I am a RAFC nervous as shit but equally excited about meeting women cuz i love everything about them from the way they smell to their bodies and soft skin to their conversations. If I can overcome these odds and still have believe in myself so can all of you.

You all have the power in each one of you to overcome this negativity! We are not born as quitters or negative beings, Its a learned process look it up on google. If you can "learn" to be sad you can reverse engineer that belief and "learn" to be happy!! Always try to view everything in at least some positivity. Think positive and you will reflect this in your body and you will feel positive. Also never give up Always take the harder path it will benefit you more in the long run. Think of a marine soldier's training... if he skips out and trains very easily in basic training and gets stuck later in the field in a bad situation, he might not know how to handle himself. Whereas if he trains brutally in basic then ships over and does get confronted with a bad situation he will at least be better suited against it and have experienced it beforehand if not he didnt lose anything just bettered himself. Never cheat yourself, you would be amazed at what you can overcome with a little willpower and determination. Be the Underdog and prove everyone else wrong! stop worrying about what they think and worry about your number one person, YOU.
Once again I am very sorry to ramble on this long it is my first post and i didn't do any of this to brag or boast but simply hope to motivate some of you to think more positive. Any replies would be appreciated or if you want to know more or want to talk feel free I have this account for about another 3 weeks


-BeachBoy
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Hey man!

Sounds like you have a hell of ride in your life.
I've been fortunate enough not to find myself in any situation even remotly close to this.
Thank you for a very interesting post.

I wish you all the best.

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Vino, vedi, vici.
I drank some wine, I saw her, I conquered

Hey man, your awesome to go through all that and still be cool,
I wish you the best, and I think your post was really uplifting for me

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Life is what you make it;

that was probably the longest post ive read in a long time, really inspiring man. Thanks for posting

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Slept On Rappers
http://hiphoprising.blogspot.com

good post ....
don't direct anger to other people ... if you say something wrong you will feel regret later on.
when you feel bad it's because you need to face those emotions , if you work on them now you don't have to face them later on.

other people can make you feel bad ... often you will blame them BUT do realize they could be a victim as well, they could be screwed up because they also could have hard times.

Never cheat yourself... very true... don't waste times blaming others and don't run away from your feelings. Do what you feel you need to do and DO what you think you should do - do both as much as possible

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AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
questions about herbal medicine here-vp582526.html#582526

Great post man ! And sorry for your loss. This post will go to inspire a lot of guys who might be starting off.

Great post man! I can feel your pain in a way. I remember when I got back from a vacation 2 years ago and all of my friends started ignoring me. I lost all of those friends. I pretty much had the same feelings as you. I was depressed, suicidal, didnt feel like myself anymore, and was terrified of meeting new people. Honestly, I believe you when you say this. If you overcame the death of your mother then you could overcome anything in your life. Your a stronger person now. I feel your pain man. Bro, if you really want to get over your troubles id highly suggest consulting an EMDR therapist.

EMDR is a new therapy that provides breath taking results to people whove had traumatic experiences in their life. Personally, im going to take these sessions on monday. Their so unbelivably effective that they heal war veterans from PTSD. Honestly, if it can heal war veterans of seeing their loved ones die in war then it can heal you from your loss. Bro, I wish the best of luck to you. Your post was both sad and inspiring. Try out the EMDR you wont regret it. If you want some info on what it actualy is then google EMDR.

Peace bro

i really recommend buddhism.. or shambala buddhism.... it always helped me, and it keeps me away from behaving like a asshole.

buy some books about buddhism .. start reading.. you will learn alot from it.

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AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
questions about herbal medicine here-vp582526.html#582526

Normally I can't be arsed to read people's sob stories on the internet.



But this post isn't a sob story. Its a fucking inspiration, and I want to say an entirely heart-felt thank you for sharing your story.

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Fancy hitting London sometime?
MSN/email: big.mickey.c@googlemail.com

thanks guys, glad I could help...

I feel your pain man. Thats alot of shit youve been through. Ive had a very similar instance in my life where I went from being this really high energy sociable guy to being very depressed and suicidal. It fucking sucked but im working past that. Im getting small glimpses of the old me as I continue to work on myself. Check out the book the Power of now man. Very powerful book if you practice the principles.

Peace out and wishyou all the best.

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Cut the shit, time to fuck.

r u in Myrtle Beach now?

Well said soldier,

I needed that read

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No matter what, I must live without regret

Life is good

Live it for yourself