I ended my relationship with my first gf of 9 months about 3 months ago. I am 22 years old. I grew up as “the nice guy”. The one who was super polite and shy around girls. I was the dork who went up to girls and awkwardly asked them out to a movie in high school. Let's just say business was not good haha. However, after working on my game in college, I def saw a change in myself and met a number of great girls. Senior year, I picked up a hot girl off the street and she soon became my gf. I know that I have come a long way, but there is still much to improve.

My greatest fear is that I will always be the nice guy. Things I have been working on are my confidence, self-esteem and outgoing personality to name a few. However, I can't help but feel that I won't change from being the sensitive and romantic person that I am at heart. I am working on becoming a stronger man, but I know this will take time.

Although my relationship was great, the breakup made me think about how I acted during it. My ex said things like "I don't feel good enough for you", which seems like another way of saying she didn't want to be with me. After examining things, I know that I treated my ex too well. She was my first gf so I wanted to do everything for her. I pampered her way too much and was always there for her. I felt like I put too many of my eggs into the basket too early, but I couldn't help it. I gave everything I had to her, but she didn’t do the same for me. As a result, I always thought she didn’t care as much about me and I was unhappy. My ex was also unhappy because she said that I made her feel guilty for not being about to meet my needs. We tried the long distance thing (because we both graduated college and lived 5 hours apart by car and it def did not help!) for like 4 months before we called it quits.

Since this was my first serious relationship, even though my ex contributed to the breakup, I know that I was acting too needy and insecure. That’s the reason for me writing this post. I wanted to see if anyone had advice on becoming a stronger man and not being the nice guy that girls walk over. I know there’s nothing wrong with being nice, but I feel I’m always too nice which leads to a sense of neediness and insecurity, a man’s 2 greatest enemies. There's still time for me to learn, so why start now?

Thanks for the help guys.

_________________
Rise up, rise up, rise up

Its not about how you fall...its about how you pick yourself up after you've fallen

nothing in this world thats worth having comes easy

Dude I know what you mean man. That was me, the exact same situation with my first gf. Trust me it ended ugly for me, but I was so pissed at the time that I would flirt with EVERY girl in front of her. I didn't know about "The Game" till then so I jus flirted randomly and had success. I realized that being the nice guy isnt bad, but you have to put in a lot more work to get the girl you want. So what I think you should do is (If you're not looking for jus one time things) jus get the girl first using your game and then chill out a bit, dont jus give her all the importance. Let her keep giving you signals that she likes you more and more. If she doesnt say it then you gotta learn some signals she gives off. Then you'll know what pace to go at and what to say to her. Basically if your in the relationship be in control, cuz its jus like opening a set, keep your head cool, breathe and be a PUA. Treat her the same way that you would treat your target when ur picking her up. Slowly and gradually you can become more and more caring and stuff and if she responds then well you're doing it right

Of course you can always jus be the "bad guy" and go on one-nighters and then gain a reputation of a PUA. It's up to you man. Hope that helped. Good luck

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-Snakeman-

Thanks for the responses. Yea hobbit, I think you hit the nail on the head. I rushed into my first relationship too quickly. My inner game was not on the same level as my outer game and that's something I need to work on. Thanks for the video too, it was very helpful!

_________________
Rise up, rise up, rise up

Its not about how you fall...its about how you pick yourself up after you've fallen

nothing in this world thats worth having comes easy

Just my two cents..

In my exp., most guys are too nice with their first gf. We all learn this lesson. It’s a huge growing pain. But still, on other hand, I don’t believe in “ass-hole” game in relationships either. I think balanced chicks like nice guys, just not a guy who is too nice. That’s what I think is the difference. In my experience, girls who go for guys who are total jerks are head-cases with daddy-issues, needy girls or they are real immature.

The thing to remember: I find (as others have) that women always like a challenge and they don’t like wimps.

You asked for advice, so I can only say what has works for me…. I say this because Im not trying to sound like some an expert - lets face it, relationships are difficult no matter what. (btw, Im also a bit of nice guy at heart sometimes but not a romantic ). Bear in mind, Ive only really dated HB 8s and up. I have always had the feeling that dealing with 6’s and below might be different – it seems you can act more weak with some of them. (Also, some guys have that romantic thing down pat. I know it works for some guys, I guess. I just don’t get it).

For what it is worth, these are things I try to do in a relationship that I feel work. (Btw, I feel alot of this stuff has to be done early in the relationship before the power dynamics have been fixed/determined. You have to set the boundaries quickly):

(1) I try to keep the relationship balanced and I am always cognizant of this balance. This balance always means I should be treated like I am slightly more important than her or at the very least equal. For instance, if she intiates 3 texts, I intiate 1 back to her. If she gets back to me in 2 hours after texting, I get back to her 4 hours the next time. Its great to delay after a sensitive question, in my exp. I don’t do this stuff always because sometimes its just not appropriate or it looks like Im gaming but I try to make sure that she knows at least symbolically that I am not at her fingertips always ready for her and that I have other things to do/other people who want my attention. The girl always has to contact me more than I contact her. I’ve always had it that way though. I can see a balance working here but I cant believe a relationship could work where the guy is calling her or contacting her more. At least not with hot chicks. I could be wrong and Im sure there are exceptions.

(2) I wouldn’t be too invested in her emotions. I try to not be affected by a women’s emotions. I especially never let her emotions become my emotions. Some guys are sad when she’s sad and frustrated, when she’s frustrated. Not a good idea, imo. I act more indifferent to her emotions. Like I don’t text very many questions. I text statements that do not need a response necessarily. Generally, things that Im doing or what’s happening. I do this to the point that its kind of almost pathetic like I don’t say “Hows it going?” too often in a text. Instead, I will say something like “Just out for dinner with some guys and hitting the clubs later. Hope you’r e doing good”. I know it sounds ridiculous but I believe it works. I tell myself to keep the frame that “I don’t care” all the time. Whatever she does or doesn’t do or feels or doesn’t feel, I don’t care. I act indifferent. “My life is more important than hers”. Don’t get me wrong here, you cant take this too far. If her mother dies, you need to be a gentleman, but women just tend to be more emotional. You cant let her rope you into her rollercoaster of moods.

(3) I wouldnt be too available. Have a life. I often try to make her ask me out more, than I ask her (at least after the first month or so). I try not reply to texts to timely all the time or I even freeze-her out sometimes (for a day or so) – it depends on the pattern of communication you have developed.

(4) I wouldn’t do everything she asks. Be aware of when you are being used and never tolerate it.

(5) Make as many decisions about where you will go out etc. as much as you can.
(6) I stay away from initiating any deep relationship talk. I let her lead these conversations. In the early stages, (people might disagree) but I rarely tell chicks I love them (definantly not first) or how hot they are and all that jazz. Not because I don’t think they are hot or love them off but because if a girl is particularly hot (I mean, HB8 and up, which is all I have ever dated really), she hears this crap all the freaking time. I always get a chuckle out of all the girls I have as friends telling me about these guys they are dating who are too forward early. They always lose out because they confess some deep feelings for her early in the relationship. These girls laugh about these guys like they are total losers. I am not saying it always happens: I know a few instances where guys are really needy early and sometimes it works. But in my experience, more times than not, it’s a massive mistake especially if she is hot. Really nice guys do it a lot.

7) I never apologize for anything.. I would never apologize because often you are apologizing for who you are. Even if you cum too early. Who cares. Put yourself first, my friend. Women love it in my exp. I try to never say sorry ever. I always regret it when I say it. (Of course, I'd apologize when it makes sense or when you are very wrong. You cant be impractical)

8- I sometimes reject sex. This is dangerous however, so I can’t recommend it, but if I don’t feel like sex I don’t have it, even if she is all over me acting crazy. I just do this once in a while, not too often. I was once told that “whoever controls the frequency of sex controls the relationship”. I don’t believe this whole-heartedly but I think there is something to it.

(9) I don’t act reactive or reveal too much emotion. I always keep cool. I never show too much emotions, unless it is happy and excited or pissed at someone who disrespected me (when I am in the total right). But I am not reactive to her nonsense -I am not too revealing to my sensitivity to her behavior, even when it is disrespectful, even outrageously disrespectful.....but see 10 below

(10) At the same time given above, I would not tolerate very disrespectful behavior very early in the relationship…I mean, flakiness, lateness, putting you second ahead of friends in certain situations, withholding sex when it is being used to manipulate, insulting you in anyway, treating you like a slave etc. I wouldn’t yell or argue when these things happen at all, just distance yourself or make a direct confrontation telling her exactly what you find unacceptable in a calm rational manner (You have to be very very careful here, not to make yourself look too upset or reactionary or sensitive.. if you do you end up looking like a wimp… If you confront, I’d just be logical and practical about the matter and ask friends if it is qualifies as disrespectful first). Also, if you confront, I would make sure she is aware that you are perfectly willing to walk away from the relationship if she doesn’t learn to return your calls in a timely fashion for instance. But do not act affected, be cool and relaxed. You have to act like its no big deal and be cool, almost happy. For example, when I was dating a gf a while back, early in the relationship, I used to take her to clubs with her gfs and she would take off in the club and go dancing, acting as if I wasn’t there. This, to me, was total disrespect. The second time it happened I left her there at the club and didn’t return her calls until the next morning. I told her I ran into some other friends of mine and ended up partying with them all night, hitting other places. I said I got tanked and forgot to tell her. I laughed it off like it was no big deal, saying “My bad” but making it sound like my night was better than hers. Guess what? She is intuitive like most chicks. She got the message and corrected her behavior. She warmed up to me more, paid for the next date and cleaned my apt. In this little incident, I feel she likely learnt a lot but most importantly that if she ignores me, I will ignore her, even worse. She probably got a little embarrassed about the incident and some of her friends (becuase they knew I seemed like a decent guy) realized that she had disrespected me and might have told her. She learnt that I don’t put up with disrespectful behavior. I aint perfect but another general rule I hold onto with girlfriends is “once bitten, twice shy”. If she crosses me or does something clearly disrespectful, I confront her by telling her quickly or do something like I described above. If she does the same behavior again, that’s it. I’m out- Its over or at least, I threaten the relationship and let her know I will walk away. They always come crawling back however, at least when this happens early in the relationship (Bear in mind though, you have to be able to differentiate between disrespectful behavior and shit-tests. Shit-tests should just be ignored in my exp.)

(11) I try to act like Clint Eastwood. Clint Eastwood is the man to me. I think about what he would do. I think about what would he say if he saw the way I was acting. Would he say I am acting like a weak loser? Just try to think about the friends you think are cool or people you respect - alpha guys. Imagine they have a camera watching you - If you would be embarrassed by any behavior with your gf, I wouldn’t do it. Period

(12) As mentioned, I ‘d make sure she knows you could leave the relationship anytime and be fine. That you are strong enough to leave and find someone else. In my exp., most guys who love off a girl with more affection than she shows him and act like she is the most special thing in his world, end up lonely. You have to choose her, not need her. I feel she needs to know this by your behavior.

Anyways, this is stuff that works for me. Im not saying its gold and I cant say any of this is full-proof but I hope it helps…alot of it is stuff I have learnt through trial-and-error and some of it just comes intuitively...

The stuff in the post above is pure fucking gold and has been truly helpful.

With regards to confrontation, for let's say flaking, how would you do it ?

As they flake on you, talk to them and point out it's disrespectful to do ? Do you leave it a while ? If they've contacted you by text, then what ? How do you deal with it basically, aside from the obvious flake on them next time - which I don't like to do, because I actually like hanging out with people/girls anyway.

Just my two cents...

I dont know if I would recommend confronting flaking...Im not sure how to do it without looking sensitive and upping her perception of her value relative to you..Often, she will just look down at you, as a sensitive guy ....I would need a specific scenario, I guess.

It all really depends on the situation and the stage of the relationship. (Once again, wouldnt say Im an expert by any means).

I find flaky situations happen more with younger girls and hotter girls esp. club/stripper chicks. I think most girls that flake alot are not all that good for long-term situations at all. Although, I've gone the distance with some girls who were flaky intially. One for 4 years, so it aint so bad.

In my exp., the more "innocent" flakiness early in the relationship is often because she is just testing you. She's seeing if you flip out or act like you care too much, so in alot of instances, I cant recommend direct confrontation. Just carrying on like it's nothing and freeze-her out a little

Ideally, I think you want to try to put yourself in the position where a flake doesnt happen in the first place. I know that might sound unrealistic but sometimes the chick is flaking becuase they have you pegged as a chump. You could have done this by showing too much enthusiasm early on or calling too often (not keeping the ratios at the right balance where she is calling you more than you are calling her or maybe you acted too apologetic or boring etc)

Its all about balances and the particular situation imo.

What do I mean by preventing flakiness in the first place? Let's say, I text a girl and ask her out on a date for Friday. She agrees to it on Tuesday. Let's say she doesnt contact me again on Wednesday or Thursday. If the relationship is fresh and she is a real hot (HB9), I may not want to reach out to her at all for the entire week and make her send the "Are we still on for tonite?" text, on Friday afternoon. Some guys would be calling her inbetween that date, initiating follow-up calls etc. Depending on the situation, esp. if she is real hot, I wouldnt even touch-base until she intiated the next text or call asking about the date. If she doesnt send me anything (a call or a text) that Friday, I still wouldnt talk to her again until she intiated. It's all about persepctive and realizing what coddles her ego and what coddles your ego. In this scenario, I already went out on limb asking her out in the first place - that was giving her something for her ego. She owes me, in my perception. Do you see what I mean? I feel there always has to be a balance there where she is more into it than me or it's at least equal. She has to give me more or at least equal indications of interest. If she doesnt, I will wait until she does. When I give her something, I make her give me something give back - the more, the better.

Let's say in this same scenario, she does call you on Thursday and asks what to wear on Friday and seems like she's gonna go and then, she cancels on you last minute Friday night.

I wouldnt act upset or anything at all. I would just laugh it off like that's cool....Act completely indifferent like it never changed my mood even slightly. You act completely normal as always, even happy. Id say something like, "Hey. No worries. I understand. I actually had this party I had to go to later anyhow and I was gonna ask if you wanted to come with me. So how's your day been going anyway? [change the topic to really show you dont care at all]...." then, I'd tell her some story of how my friend just won 8 grand gambling and is taking everyone on a crazy nite somewhere exciting...sounding excited and cool the whole entire time. Btw, I would not lie. I just have friends who are always doing something crazy exciting so this is not hard to come up with. (Of course, you cant overdo it either becuase she will know you are full of crap. Women are intuitive so if you are really upset you have to hide it good).

In the early stages, you can never sound bitter upset or reactive at all.

if she cancelled as described above, I'd also make her come back and intiate the next date. In the scenario I described above, she would have to intiate the follow-up date and/or at least call back and text maybe 4 times after. If not, I 'd forget her. She's no good. She's not a good person to me.

Like I said, it all comes down to an "i dont care" attidude and not giving a crap either way. The party goes on with or without her...

Im just saying what works for me...

Thanks for those great in-depth responses Wack, they were really helpful. I guess I have a similar question. I now know the importance of establishing boundaries and rules/behaviors that are acceptable. Looking back at my relationship I know that I could have done more. However, how can you establish these rules for what you will/won't tolerate without looking more insecure?

For example, at a party my ex was checking out this shirtless ripped dude. She was basically drooling, but she asked my permission if she could look at him lol. I didn't want to come across as insecure so I said it was fine, even though it did bother me a lot. Is that something I should have told her not to do? But I would feel insecure by telling her not to do it. I mean people will always check out people from the opposite sex but since it was so blatant and in front of me, it bothered me.

Also, I knew this relationship was doomed because she always had doubts about it before we tried the long distance thing. She said shit like "I just want you to acknowledge that this might not last forever". She said she was being realistic but I was naive at the time and I know that if you really care about the relationship you wouldnt say bs like that. Oh well, you live and you learn!

_________________
Rise up, rise up, rise up

Its not about how you fall...its about how you pick yourself up after you've fallen

nothing in this world thats worth having comes easy

Thank you Wacko, for all of that, incredibly informative and very helpful.

Let me preface by saying, as always, I can just say what I would have done but Im not perfect…I also struggle with certain issues ..Everyone is different and some things work for different people…Alot depends on the stage of the relationship that you are in,.....Also, If I feel that sometimes it’s just inevitable, no matter how strong your game is, the girl could be just bad or it wasn’t meant to work out. This might be the case with the girl you describe…who knows

As far as her drooling over some guy….

I think that (once again), ideally, you wouldn’t want to be in a position where that happens in the first place. (I know with some women that is easier said than done). But generally, I find when a women is aware that you could walk away from a relationship and be fine with leaving, (which I tried to kind of outline above), she usually wouldn’t risk exposing you to such out-rightly disrespectful behavior. She knows your limits and what you find unacceptable. Early in the relationship she would have already been exposed to your power by you making subtle aggressive actions when she showed any forms of disrespect.

This might sound basic but I just want to hammer it down. I hate to use an analogy with an animal but what the heck…I had a dog once that was quiet and good-natured. One night, for no decipherable reason, it barked excessively at night when he was just a puppy (about 3 months old). I took the dog for a walk, thinking it needed to go potty. It didn’t go potty. I took him back home. 5 minutes later, it barked again excessively, not allowing me to sleep. This is disrespectful behavior. I picked up the dog and yelled at him very loud and punished him (Its hard to explain what I did but I did something I know he doesn’t like from experience). Guess what? I put him back in his area, he was quiet all night. The whole time I had this dog, he never barked at night ever again. I had set the boundaries. I know you understand this, but I just want you to understand how critical I feel it is in the beginning of relationships. She has got to know you ain’t a chump from the start. It is hard to change people’s image of you, once you’re already in that category. With women, of course, I do not do such blatant forms of force or punishment, as with the puppy I described. In fact, as a rule, I very rarely argue or raise my voice with women at all. (Once again though, Im not perfect so I cant say this always works ). But you can punish by showing that you will not be taken for granted or treated like you are just someone who can be treated indifferently. I don’t mean to exaggerate but I feel you should be expect to be treated a little like royalty. What is punishment? Often, probably anything that shows that you will not tolerate disrespect and that you are the strong and powerful and perfectly capable of walking away anytime. Ex. Freezing-out or making yourself less available, flirting with other girls or making insinuations of talking to other girls etc.

I say this because that behavior she did, drooling at some other guy to me in front of you with other people there at a party, like that, is disrespectful and should be treated as such. I wasnt there though, i dont know the total context and this could happen regardless of your frame. You could be just be dating a bad girl or it could have been the end of honeymoon phase and she is that type. Who knows. Now some people would disagree but that is the way I feel. We are all attracted to other people but she is with you and in a public place. That’s just rude. She should know from your frame that you don’t accept that crap. Also, for me, behavior like that would have me looking for another girl pretty quickly. I would def consider getting rid of her. Like I said, do you think Clint Eastwood would tolerate that crap? What about Tony Soprano? I would be seriously contemplating the entire relationship. It’s not because she is attracted to other men - that’s totally normal. It is the drooling aspect in front of you and in front of others that I find disrespectful. I always think to myself, this girl is lucky she is even with me in the first place. Im not saying this is what I think is your issue here but just remember: When you place a high value on yourself, others will treat you as such. Her attention should be towards you.

How do you handle it without looking insecure? This is what I would have done. I don’t know if it would have worked or not. I think you were right to act cool about it and say go ahead and be like whatever becuase she asked a stupid question to begin with (Btw, her asking leads me to believe it might have been a shit-test or her showing she doesnt care at all about the relationship. Most girls and guys look at other people discreetly all the time. Why did she feel the need to tell you? I could be reading too much into it though. I wasnt there so its hard). I am not saying it is impossible to confront but I think it is hard to confront that without looking weak. You have to be real gentle in how you communicate it. I agree that acting indifferent is better. (I only hope you appeared very genuine about not giving a crap). You could have even chuckled about it or made a smart joke that dissed her a little. But at the same time, I would have definantly been sure to also try subtely flirt with other hot girls (the hotter, the better) and also distance myself a bit there after. Maybe get carried away with partying with your friends and leaving her at the party. Even freeze-her out for a couple days. I feel there has to be a negative consequence to that kind of behavior but not one that does not make you look insecure.

Now you see once again, I can do these things in a relationship and still be viewed as a “good guy” and not a “jerk” because my girlfriend would know that I am a decent person. I don’t look at the situation as too different than the one I described above with the girlfriend I had who used to run around clubs forgetting about me. It’s on a similar level.

Same deal with the relationship babble she said. I feel you are right in your analysis. Hindsght is bias is always 20/20. She was not treating you like royalty. She should've been lucky to be in your presence and she is acting like your some kind of door-man (i.e. security blanket).

Ideally, once again, I would have distanced myself and began looking for a new girl. Maybe even froze her out permanently right there or told her I need a break and never spoke to her for a while. When a girl says that stuff, im my exp. that’s close to a break-up. In my exp., women try to be nice with break-ups and do them slow and gradual so she doesn’t lose you before she is certain. Your job is to cut her off before her uncertainty solidifies into certainty. When you cut her off for a while, she starts to miss you and regret it. If you allow her to say stuff like that, she is pushing you in the friend zone while she starts shopping around for someone else. From what you describe there, she was probably shopping around already and at least, thinking about hooking up with someone else.

There is quote that i read somewhere that says, "Women marry the man they love the most; Men marry the women who loves them the most". There is a grain of truth in this, if you look around at the guys you know in great relationships. Women will pull their weight and put up with all kinds of crazy behavior because they know there man is the main deal/the greatest. Her attidude to the relationship should have been more enthusiastic. In my exp., you can heighten or lower it by your availability, acting indifferent, flirting with others etc. In general, indirectly validating that you are a god's greatest gift. If she doesnt respond or is still acting disrespectful- I think you are wasting your time.

I would have said to her, “Yeah. You are so right. The relationship is really unrealistic. ..” Then, I hope I would have cut her off, no reply to texts, calls, nothing.. (I have to admit: this is sometimes harder said than done). The whole time I would be moving on, hitting the clubs finding other women etc. Usually after no contact, they come crawling back, at least if there is anything redeemable in the relationship. I might answer a call in a week….but she’s gotta be crying begging for me back or at least sounding real sad and different…Otherwise, its over, she’s either a bad seed, it wasn’t meant to be or I acted so weak it wasn’t redeemable. Once again, the goal was simple – showing her and sending the message that you are strong and perfectly capable of carrying on with your life without her.
Just my two cents..

I had the exact same problem. My post is going to be very simple;

What's working for me is simply realising that "over doing it" is going to turn them away, and "over doing it" actually stems from some deep seated fear of rejection or something else wussy. Makes you avoid doing it. Then also realising that - doing what you want without being afraid of rejection, is going to attract them (so it's not what you do, it's how you do it!). And then, and this seems very advanced - expressing things you like about them in a confident way, is going to attract them (people like to be liked). And THEN - carefully sending mixed messages, is going to attract them too.

What always helps is mentally picturing how things will turn out if I act a certain way. I realised I'd always do this AFTER I screwed up, so I started doing it before, and now I continue to do it. Eg. doing it badly by being too full on. Then I imagine doing it good (as above), eg. if I feel like putting my arm around her I will. Act like a boyfriend before I actually am her boyfriend.

And the thing that helps with the fear of rejection is having something ready to say if they do say something, makes you behave in a way that shows you're not afraid of rejection. Eg. if something I do would make her say "Hey I don't see you that way" one of my replies I have ready is "Hey I don't know if I want you as my girlfriend yet - I'm just trying it out!" One thing I said recently to get a girl to come out was that I'm not sure what I want yet, and I'm just spending time with different girls to find out. That was carefully worded for my situation with her because she's not sure if I see her as more than a friend yet but a statement like that has to make her wonder if she is or not, without outright saying it. She came out with me, I started to behave like a boyfriend, and things are going really well...

With the "sending mixed messages" it's 2 steps forward, 1 step back, not 1 step forward, 4 steps back, like a lot of the PUA mentality seems to project. It's the difference between David Wygant and David Deangelo. David D puts too much focus on being an arsehole, but while David W does play a bit of push pull, he rewards IOI's instantly with another IOI, and he moves through the paces so fast. IOI's can be done in an alpha way, they are not inherently wussy. And I only started getting numbers once I started doing things David W's way.

Oh and when it comes time to make a statement of interest (very far and few between) use vague language. That is one useful tip I've taken from Mystery. He says "I'm drawn to you. ...no I can't explain it! I don't have a manual for this stuff!" I ran into a girl that I'm working on, at the markets, and she caught me off guard and I was stuttering and a little nervous, although happy and positive. I later told her about the new girls I'm meeting etc. and how well things go, and then I told her incredulously that I didn't know why she "threw off my game" when I ran into her, I couldn't explain it (I said with a laugh). She said "awww..." and smiled. This is the girl things are going well with.

Well, just to chime in.

The best thing you can be is a balance of both good and bad. I fully expect to pay for a date, but i will not hold doors open. I tell women i don't want them to get use to something i will eventually stop doing.

I talk about how i like to flirt and date many women and then i talk about how i enjoy committed relationships.

I found that being too far on the good side is boring to most women, its predictable and fake. Being bad comes from not being afraid to showcase the things most guys cringe telling a woman about.

Jesus this entire thread and the video really opened my eyes, and I am a good guy but now I know that I mask my self as the nice guy, I never knew... like damn thats amazing!

Hey Wackjack. Unbelievable comments. They've already helped my peace of mind so much. I was hoping you could give me some advice on my current relationship. I've been seeing this peruvian chick for about a month now and everything was rolling along fine until last time when I started acting like a nice guy. The problem is that, before we met, she had applied to a job teaching abroad in Spain for a month in July. Last time we were hanging out, she got an email saying she got the job. Now, I was happy for her, but then she was talking about how she was disappointed how this peruvian GUY (a professor) wasn't going to be on the trip with her. I just ignored her, smoked a cigarette and came back inside. When I did, she could see I was pissed and asked why. I told her I wasn't and that I was just thinking about taking a nice american girl on a month long trip with ME to Europe. She said do whatever you want, to which I said, I will. Then we just went on nicely like we usually do. However, I'm stressed because I feel like this Spain trip spells death for my relationship and I'm thinking I'll probably be going back to one night stands and shit. But I want to make this relationship work and use it as an opportunity to work on some inner game. What do you think Wackjack? All comments are greatly appreciated.

There's not enough info there, unfortunately I'd say it's something you've done that you haven't mentioned, or hell maybe it's just time to move on. Bottom line is, a girl who's happy in her current relationship wouldn't talk about going on a trip with another guy without making it clear they were just friends.

I hear you Conker. That's some major bullshit on her part. Why are girls such hoes sometimes? Whatever though, I'll just move on like you said, it wasn't really too serious anyways.