Can someone (JSmooth I'm looking in your direction) post some kind of "method" or guide for the various stages of online game, in the same way as we have various models and structures for day/night game?

For example, you "opener" is your first email - what kind of things are important to say, and not say? People always say obvious stuff like "mention something that she said in her profile" or "keep it short", but there aren't a lot of solid guidelines on this.

Secondly, how do you go from the "hey what's up I like you" email to the actually having a conversation email? What kind of questions should you ask? Should you even ask questions? In night game, I make a lot of statements - can I do the same?

Thirdly, what signs are you looking for "IOIs" that might indicate that you've exchanged enough emails to go for a number close or set up a date? What kind of day-2s are good?

Fourthly, what kind of things are good to put / leave out in your profile? I've heard "don't say too much", "be funny" and "have a photo" but that's about it.

Finally, how do you design the profile, and interact online, in the right "PUA" way, so that the girls don't go into "date" pattern and expect you to buy dinner, wait 3-4 dates to sleep with you, etc?

Blondguy,

Yeah I figured you'd be looking at me for this one. I'll try to do my best to answer this as I don't really have a M3 model style method but I'll try to outline it for you the best I can. I should probably go ahead and offer to send you a copy of my Online Dating Black Book too because that answers a lot of the question you have below, and some of those answers are in depth but here we go...

First of all the basic outline.

Open - Initial Email to your potential online target. You want the email or message to be kept short and interesting. We are just trying to provoke a response from the target and get the conversation started. Typically a statement about something in her profile or even questions about it work well. I love questions because they start conversations. Just like opening in the field what you say doesn't have to be overly pefect, funny, or super clever just interesting.

Build Attraction DHV/Build Comfort & Rapport - In the field during normal game you are working to build attraction first and then build comfort. Well with online game you are kind of doing both simultaneously. Your goal here is to tell stories or make statements about yourself while also embedding those DHV spikes to build attraction as well. Although, to a degree online if she responds some attraction is assumed...

During this process you are exchanging a few messages back and forth asking questions if needed to keep the conversation flowing. Tell stories about yourself that both build comfort with your target but also allow her to get to know you as well. During these stories just like in the field you can embed your DHV spikes where appropriate to amp up the attraction.

Escalate Comfort - By escalating comfort I mean get her comfortable enough to switch modes of contact. At the lowest level we have email. It takes almost no comfort for some girl to message back a random guy. It takes a bit more comfort to IM, and more comfort to talk or text since she has to give out her number, and again she has to be a little more comfortable with someone to meet someone.

I think you can see the logic behind this. As a girl because increasingly more responsive and elaborate in her emails you will start to see some statements of interest from her. You will also be able to tell how invested she is in you based on her responses. Shorter one word to one sentence responses to a question isn't as good as almost a paragraph.

As you see her becoming more comfortable and revealing more about herself work to get another level of contact with her.

Golden Online Rule #1 Get her from the computer to in front of you as quickly as possible

This is the golden rule for sure with online game. Many guys try to wait out contacts to try not to appear needy and this is stupid. Strike while the iron is hot and she's caught up in the moment. There have been plenty of girls I've messaged and f-closed the same evening on reputable sites.

Set a Date - Set up your date now that you have been talking through email and possibly text or on the phone up to this point. When you get on your date you have to realize that we still have work to do. She is attracted to you enough and comfortable with you enough to meet you. Still she is not "sold" typically. We still have to go back to attraction and comfort building in person. You don't have to hit on it as much as you would in field from a cold approach but remind her why she likes you. AND KINO! You have to kino and kino a lot to get her comfortable with you touching her....

That's a basic outline I can give you just off the cuff....Hope that helps....

Well obviously you don't want to say anything that can be construed as creepy or weird first of all. The other thing is we don't want to say what the average guy to her says. The average guy might say to her, "You are really pretty, I'd like to get to know you better." Stay away from being like the average guy... we are above the average guy...

I like to find unique things in her profile about her. If I can see that her friends or family is important to her based on what she wrote I'll usually start out with how I'm the same way to establish some early common ground with her.

There are not a lot of solid guidelines on openers when it comes to online game or really even opening in person. Anything can work... and it just comes down to finding out what works for you. You can be direct, indirect, etc. There is more than one way to get the girl obviously.
Yes you can ask questions and you can make statements. Statements however don't require a response but questions do. I like asking very open ended questions so I get a more elaborate answer so that I can then build off her answer into a conversation.

"What was growing up like for you in.....?"
"You mentioned your family is very important to you, I don't know where I'd be without my family either. What is your family like....do you have a lot of siblings?"
"I noticed you are adventurous.... tell me about the last thing you did."
"You said you're outgoing... what do you like to do? Can you not stand to be at home or do you just go out on the weekends?"

These are obviously just examples but I use stuff very similar to this. Anyways you asked how do you transition from it. It's pretty easy. I might send an email like... "I saw your profile and found you interesting. Especially because you said that you were adventurous and outgoing. I'd like to get to know you better. Tell me what was the last adventurous thing you did, what happened, where did you go?"

That's pretty much it I just transition to a question after my opening direct statement of interest. Which is pretty much not a problem. Indirect online isn't usually the best. I mean we are taking the time to message her of all the other people online, she knows we're interested just by our actions so might as well spell it out for her.
I answered this a bit earlier when I outlined everything. You can just typically tell by her responses much as you can in field. Remember online game isn't really that much different than being in field one on one with someone. The only difference is you can't see her body language. You have to pay attention to what she says and how lengthy of a response she is giving.

The more you are online the more you can tell. Just like it takes a while to get calibrated in field to know when you are vibing it takes a bit online to know too. I can't really sit here and say after 3 IOIs get her #. It's all based on the overall feel and vibe you get from her messages. Is she replying as quickly as she can or is she stalling? Does she seem interested or is she not sending much back? Has she made any statements that she likes us? Is she being playful or trying to be funny? Has she done anything to try and qualify to us indicating she likes us? These are alll things I look for to know if I should move on to the next level.

The best kind of dates as always are dates that have an activity like shooting pool, bowling, laser tag, shopping, etc. You don't really want to push a girl into having to sit across from you with coffee or drinks trying to make conversation if you can help it. Sometimes I resort back to these if I need to and they aren't bad. Just make sure it's a public place that way she feels safe. Then you can always bounce her somewhere else...

Speaking of which when on the date the "bounce" is a huge part of it along with kino. The Kino is there so she knows you just don't want to be friends and like her. The bounce is used to gain that extra bit of comfort with you. If she goes to another place with you it's huge!
I think I should just send you my online dating black book for this one because this is pretty involved. I could sit here and right pages on pages for this question alone, and I have.

Quick Summary... Photos are extrememly important. Don't just have a photo have good photos and a lot of photos. Have photos of you doing things and being active not just sitting around the house. Have photos of you with friends and maybe one or two with a girl. This is for pre-selection of course. But the main thing is having photos showing an active lifestyle and doing the things you enjoy doing. A photo is worth 1,000 words just make sure they say way you want them to.

Profile wise... you just want your profile to be on a positive tone. No griping or complaing about anything period! You want it to be positive and upbeat. The main two things about the profile are this. #1 describe yourself and your personality to the best of you ability and list any hobbies you like. #2 Make sure you describe a few of the most important qualities your ideal girl would have so that reader knows when they match you. Lastly, if you must list any deal breakers that you have.

Some people can't stand smokers, some people have to have people who like to work out, etc. If you have any absolutely deal breakers list them but don't list too many cause you don't want to appear overly picky.

The main thing is to make sure that your personality comes out in what you write. If you're witty be witty, if you are confident, be confident in what you write and how you present yourself.

Finally spelling and grammar are HUGE! I've had a lot of compliments for good spelling and grammar from women. They do pay attention to this so keep that in mind.
What's wrong with buying someone dinner if you like the pleasure of their company? That's a rhetorical question. Your profile needs to be designed for what you are looking for. If you want a girlfriend write it as if you were looking for the love of your life. If you want to just date say that. Just set the proper expectations for what you want in a relationship both in your profile and when you talk to the girl and it'll be fine.

Girls are very understanding and will be fine either way just be direct with what you are looking for relationship wise. That is the key to the whole thing. Don't act as if it's a big secret if you want to date say you want to date until you find the right girl for you. If you are looking for something long term then say that, but also say that you aren't in a hurry though. That way you're honest but it leaves the door open as to not pressure the poor girl.

Hope this helps blondguy, PM me your email address so I can send you that ebook I wrote.

~Jon

P.S. > That wasn't one simple question.

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