I met this girl. We've been dating for a month. Now her X has popped back into the picture begging for her to come back. Now she says she is on the fence and has to choose between myself and toolbag. He left her because he got bored of her. I mentioned to her that if he got bored once, he may very well again. That made her cry and backfired in my face. Man how do I win this thing!!!! PLEASE HELP. I'm a really good guy and not very good at being an asshole. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE GIVE ME SOME TECHNIQUES.

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www.facebook.com/chris.hendricks2

i would say something like this ...

''well if you go back to him , he get probably bored of you again. just realise im not waiting for you and i don't want to be a second choice. you probably are attracted to respectless idiots and i have to tell you i don't fit into that catagorie, he probably got bored of his other GF and decided te fuck you again.... well do what you like but i, im not hanging around for only one girl i think your cool but your not honest to yourself''...

be emotionally unaffected and don't wait for her , if you wait for her she could be hooking up with her ex. don't be the guy who got dumped as second choice , don't be understanding because they choice she makes is entirely for her - when she makes her choice she probably don't give a shit about you.
look after you first .. you are more important .... i think she's not worth it - she's not over her ex.

if you really want to dump her and are already finished with her complaints you can say something like : ''well he said your boring .. i don't like boring girls .. sorry ''

Don't be nice ... really ... and don't wait, don't demote yourself to second choice. She still got feeling for him otherwise she wouldn't doubt about the option of getting back to him.
she has this picture of him ... that she still loves him and he loves her , she is defending him and her own imaginations.

don't win ... the one who loves the least has most control , there is nothing to win you only dated her for a month ... he was her boyfriend and therefore he gots the upper hand.

you can't change the way she feels... i can give you techniques and tips but this is pure manipulation ... they ''temporarily '' change the way how she feels and you don't want to base your relationship on manipulation.

Sink this in your brain :

as long she isn't over her ex she can't have a relationship with you....i don't mean feeling for her ex everyone got feelings for their exes BUT THERE IS LOVE and that my friend is a different story.

i had relationships with girls who weren't over their ex they still had feelings for their exes - as long they invest love in another person you will get less ... as long she still loves someone else in this manner she is not ready for a new relationship.

im sorry bro ... i really am .. probably youre too involved emotionally ... you need to step back before you get hurt more. if you had sex with her you stand a chance .. if you didn't had sex with her well ... your kinda fucked.

she only can decide what to do .. do not force her into doing something.

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AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
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Your in a hard spot man. Lodewijkp said it all.

If things dont turn out the way you want in this situation, too bad man, but keep your head up. If a girl is that head over heels for someone that dumped her for such a stupid reason such as that, shes damaged goods + ridiculously stupid.

I suggest you learn to become more alpha and not get too emotionally attached to a girl in the early stages. If you want to secure your pride and dignity in a relationship, you first need to get her emotionally attached to you (like what the dickhead exbf did) for you to get attached to her.

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A very important self-esteem issue

Be unaffected by her figuring out her decision and let her know that. Also let her know that you DO care for her and she'll be making a wrong choice getting back with him and that you'll treat her right. Also let her know that your gunna lose a little respect for her if she gets back with him (not because you wont be happy, because she is being careless and irrational)

All the best mate, let us know what happens!

michael is right ..
she's not worth it ... really .... she's even more stupid than her ex BF... he dumped her for a stupid reason and she wants him back ? it's like getting shot and you say sorry to the man which shot you in your ass.
he's already emotional involved .. he's willing to do stuff for someone who isn't even worth the effort... DOES SHE DO THE SAME SHIT FOR YOU ??? no .... she is doubting to get back to a guy who treated her like shit AND YOU .. youre indirectly value is compared to this guy .... It's a fucking insult.

both the girl and her ex are equally stupid, they should write a book together '' how to have a unstable relationship''

it isn't outside intereference .... it's inside intereference .. and it's taking place in her dumb ass head....
if she doesn't recognize your good intentions then leave her alone ... she does not see it because she doesn't want to see it. OK ?!

listen to michael and me ...... you are emotionally involved and therefore not fully rational.

_________________
AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
questions about herbal medicine here-vp582526.html#582526

Typical "ditch that bitch" attitude coming in waaaay too early once again. It mat feel good to redundantly go over the facts and "prove" she's doing the wrong thing, but we already know there's a problem, and none of this behaviour will get you a girlfriend.

A girl wants somene to love and protect them, if she has this from you then she'll want to stay with you. If it turns out she must leave you for some other guy, confronting her in a cold logical fashion is certainly not going to make her all hot for you again. girls see cold logic as hostile.

Sure, talk to her about it. But be understanding. And you can still let her know that you understand that she has feelings for him but also that you can't be there for her if she wants together back with him becuase you already know the reason they broke up in the first place.

You can be firm and masculine, and CALM, without losing your temper

The guy is seeking on ways to win the girl back, what im trying to say is: would winning her over be the best thing for him?
He can shower the girl with love and protect the girl all he wants, however, what makes you think this alone is enough to win her heart back.
The facts are laid out and very clear. She is considering getting back with an ex who dumped her because she was boring. Im just saying, why would one want to be with a girl with such values, a girl who doesnt respect herself enough to protect herself from hurt. Sorry to say crazy legs, but thats just my point of view.
Of course 'ditch that bitch' attitude. Consider the other option. She decides to stay with him. Good for a while, but its clear that this girl will still have feelings for her ex, and something as simple as him suddenly wanting her back proves shes not 100% committed to him.

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Crazy legs, im not expecting you to take my advice mate, but i hope you consider it.

You need to man up bro, im sure if this whole thing doesnt go your way, itll be a huge blow to your self-esteem. Man up and keep your pride

all the best.

of course there is no reason to hurt her feelings ...
showering this girl with love or protection will only make you invest more , and when she dumps you wou will feel more worse.

ditch the bitch attititude ... you don't have to hurt her feelings - but you don't like to be controlled on a leash either.

only dated for a month ..... dude .... ONLY ONE MONTH.... you have this impression she's great and she's everything .. SHE ISN't... her values are fucked up - just like micheal said.

you can't have friendship / intimate relationship with her , you need to get clear out of her life because she needs to find out what she wants.
you are only adding more pressure...... if you are friends you will only be fucking frustrated that she choose for this other dude ( i hope she dumps his ass )
she isn't friendship material right now .....
yes ... hurting her feelings will only make her more unstable ... this way is better.

i have to add. ... when you say this all .... you can end like ... ''and it's not like i won't think of you ''' just the thought you are thinking about her is enough to bring your share in her decision making.

but for now ... choose for yourself

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AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
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We dont know what the best thing is for him, and we dont know the whole story...

he should know all the cards that can be played, and then he'll find out what to do..

He first need to start to get in to the right mindset, he doesent sound so alpha to me..

When she told you, she would have to choose, i would have stopped her right there, and told her, now hold on a minute....that is incredibly disrespectful man, i hope you told her something, and didnt just let her walk away like that..

We make our girls happy and feel good, but they need to know when they are doing something wrong..

Like mehow says.. keep the pimp hand strong

It's true what they have pointed out, her values are odd. I'm not a psychologist or a mind reader but when I read your original post, it seems like she feels more like she should take the opportunity to take up her ex's offer because he dumped her so she sees him as the prize she couldn't have. It's that whole "being attracted to an arsehole" thing. Her blowing up at you for reminding her how he dumped her backfired because it does not fit with the way she feels right now about him. She will make things up and forget key facts.

In my mind, from my experience, she will come around if the threat of losng you outweighs getting back with her ex. If it's the latter that happened, you really hav to move on afte making it clear where you stand. She sounds a little mssed up anwyay

it's not worth the hassle .... that doesn't mean you should stop seeing her or talking to her.

i gave my opinion and i think it's better if you cut her out off your life right now .. but it's you to decide what to do.

keeping in touch or cutting her out of your life ....
both are ok because with both you will learn a valuable lesson, walking away right now is the easiest , that doesn't mean your a coward - there is no need to overcommit and you are more important than her.

there is no right or wong and you won't die of either choice .. it's what you can take and how you deal with it.
i learned both lessons - normally i would advice you to stick around her but your just too much emotionally involved - and she's emotional as well but more to the unstable side.

i can't predict what will happen because we don't know the full story, but i know these type of scenarios and they are always fucked up... even if she chooses for you , you will still have thoughts about why she was doubting between you and him

you can't make someone choose ... you can torture them and let them confess but when they get free they change ideas anyway.
it's a girl .. there are thousands of them .. sometimes you find better ones and sometimes you find fucked up ones .. shit happens.

of course what you feel is totally different from what we are saying or what your doing , as long feeling and action aren't lined up you feel fucked up but it's ok because you don't realise... yet.... and it's easy for us to say something because we don't feel anything for her BUT that is what's giving us our edge.

just think about 3 things

1. what does she brings into you life ? what does she add?
2. How important is she ? is she your fiance ? NO she isn't you only dating her for a month.
3. can you deal with this stuff... and so how would you deal with it ?

feel free to update us.

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AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
questions about herbal medicine here-vp582526.html#582526

I'm not going to say anything new, but I want to give my opinion.

Well, he fucked her, got tired of that after some time, said "good riddance" and now he wants her back. Sounds like he was expecting something good when he left her, but instead of that, he got shit, so he wants her back to regain his ego. It's understandable... very egostical, but understandable.

How is she feeling? Well, she got dumped, for god sake, she was hurt, she's still hurt, but she still loves him, that's why she's doubting. That's dumb, obviously, but your point of view is more rational than hers. She wants him back.
But she also wants you.
That's not good, but it's not entirely bad for you. It means she has feelings for you.

So, here we have a nice situation.

Now I'm hearing my fucking neighboor snoring like a fucking ox, so this is going to be good.

Read this very well.


YOU
Advantages: didn't hurt her. You're "clean". Fresh and clean as a baby ass.
Disadvantages: you're emotionally involved. You may seem needy. She likes you less.

"The-other-chump"
Advantages: she likes him more. She enjoyed his fucks, etc, etc, basically he's like the badass, even though he's not.
Disadvantages: he may act needy. Not because he is, but because she may be the only girl who wants him. He doesn't her as much as you do. He knows her. He knows her weak points. He's controlling the situation.


So, here's the deal. She's not thinking. She's feeling. She's very emotional.
You can't convince her. You're not Freud. You're not a therapist. You're not her mother, neither her friend.
Who are you then? The guy who may date her.

So, how should you act? Focus on emotions. Purely emotions. How?

Well, here's my pictoresc point of view of this situation:
She's like a blind, starved dog.
There are 2 pieces of meat. One of them is kinda rotten, smelling kinda bad and yelling "come here, eat me!". The other one is gorgeous and etc, saying absolutely nothing.
So, the dog uses his senses and wants to eat not the rotten piece of meat, but the good one.
You my friend, if you keep acting needy and asking her to stay with you and etc, will be the rotten piece of meat.

So what should you do? Nothing.
Be emotionally unaffected, act nice, but DO NOT BE HER THERAPIST.
Be nice but at the same time distant. Let her take the initiative. And obviously you should end your conversations/dates sooner than her. Be the prize.

Anyway, if you keep acting needy, if I was her, I'd kick both of your butts, so DO NOT ACT NEEDY! BE THE PRIZE.


I wish you lots of luck and a happy new year!

Peace!