Instant Messaging-What if she only ever gives short replies?



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PostPosted: Wed Dec 23, 2009 11:55 pm 
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So i got this girls msn after exchanging a few messages on facebook.

however i ask open questions to get a good convo going but she only ever gives short answers (a few words long) and she doesn't start any convo

maybe it's cos she is very shy? or is it more a sign of she's not interested?

only thing that makes me think it's not that she's not interested is that she will always respond within seconds and doesn't run away when i make comments that show im clearly interested in her.

any thoughts on how to handle a girl that doesn't say much? i need to get better convo going so i can move to try and get her number. In fact, what is a good way to move towards getting a number/meet via instant messaging?


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 24, 2009 12:17 am 
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I'm not sure you should deal with such a girl, I find those types very annoying!! I was chatting with girl on my messenger whom I had on there for years. Her replies basically consisted of. My question What does the dog look like? Her Reply Brown.

So I basically don't know if its a long haired or short haired dog what type of dog or anything else that pertains to that dog. It's like thanks for not giving a shit.

Not sure its possible but try picking a topic shes interested in she should be able to give you more then a 2 word answer.

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PostPosted: Thu Dec 24, 2009 12:35 am 
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Lol,lol,lol,lol,lol. You know why Im laughing Foxman? I've been in situation like that daily. Even to this day, I struggle with that since Im a text message lover.

It seems that women never invest much interest as we guys do-in text that is. Women are so much passive and thats due to the fact that they(women)understand that the more interest they show in a guy,the faster he's to judge her as an easy lay or a hoe. Thats hard wired in women.

Most would say that if the target isnt that interested,she wont invest much time,text,chat,etc. Thats true but you'd have to gauge whether she's a shy girl or not.

It comes bacc to you ultimately. You need to stop investing too much in messages. Keep it brief as she does-1 liners. You're telegraphing too much interest in her by asking questions or texting too much.

You are too eager for her to reply so you ask open-ended questions. You need to set up your texts as though you dont care if she reply-meaning-dont ask any questions. Your job is to attract her with DHV stories and views-let her ask the qustions and you give short replies-turn the tide on them.

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PostPosted: Thu Dec 24, 2009 1:51 am 
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I've been in a similar situation, I ended up getting bored with the gal so I started playing her game. For shits n giggles I'd send IMs in the exact same format that she would respond(i.e one word response=one word statements). It was a subtle way of saying "Hey quit that shit", but at the same time it was AFC-ish because it was still showing that I was getting annoyed with her bullshit.

Do immediate, short responses mean disinterest? Maybe, maybe not.It could be something as simple as social awkwardness, shyness, or boredom.

Try asking something random, off-the-wall that would:require her attention and make her think about the answer, and lastly laugh.

Ex) True or False: Are you left handed or right?

Its cheesy, but its just an example.


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 24, 2009 9:07 am 
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Hi guys,

first thing - the nature of IM real time chat is that it IS short otherwise you'd be emailling. I do understand that girls are sometimes 'closed' and give little to no info about themselves online - it also happens face to face.

Second - if you've been chatting for a while and they are still closed, ask yourself if this is the sort of person you *really* want to meet or take it further. For me I've NEVER found anyone that's closed online will be remotely open offline, that's even if you get it offline! Unless they give some very good plausible reason for short chats treat it as messing you around and it's not good. Typically a girl who is interested and is bad at chat will want to move it offline anyway. Learn and move on.

Options you can take.

Next them. The best option as they are very likely to be trouble at best.

Neg them. make fun of their poor conversation skills or typing. Can be fun. Can work.

Amplify and echo. That means send even shorter answers or questions. My favourite is to send a question one letter at a time! Or my favourite a ?. It's childish and will rarely work and just prolongs their nonsense.

Be direct. Just say you want to get to know them better in real life and they should stop messing around if they are serious too. Calibrate the wording of this.


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 24, 2009 10:02 am 
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LaVitaébreve made some great points and observatios.

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PostPosted: Thu Mar 04, 2010 3:40 am 
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Quote:
Lol,lol,lol,lol,lol. You know why Im laughing Foxman? I've been in situation like that daily. Even to this day, I struggle with that since Im a text message lover.

It seems that women never invest much interest as we guys do-in text that is. Women are so much passive and thats due to the fact that they(women)understand that the more interest they show in a guy,the faster he's to judge her as an easy lay or a hoe. Thats hard wired in women.

Most would say that if the target isnt that interested,she wont invest much time,text,chat,etc. Thats true but you'd have to gauge whether she's a shy girl or not.

It comes bacc to you ultimately. You need to stop investing too much in messages. Keep it brief as she does-1 liners. You're telegraphing too much interest in her by asking questions or texting too much.

You are too eager for her to reply so you ask open-ended questions. You need to set up your texts as though you dont care if she reply-meaning-dont ask any questions. Your job is to attract her with DHV stories and views-let her ask the qustions and you give short replies-turn the tide on them.
This says it all


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 04, 2010 7:09 am 
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Idk if this has been covered in a reply or not but you're way too obvious.

She can clearly see you're hitting on her and she's not interested. Believe me.. if a girl is interested, they will have no problem starting conversations over IM.

If you're getting responses like.
"ok"
"k"
"yep"

from about every single thing you send. She's not into you. Believe me.. when you've got a girl head over heels for you, you could tell her that you sacrificed a live baby for laughs and she'd find some humor in it and try to fit in with the convo.

You're putting yourself out there way too obviously. The problem is you said she doesn't run away when "YOU SHOW YOU'RE INTERESTED". Girls are a lot nicer online than they are offline for some reason.. They won't turn you away simply because they don't like you. They'll have a conversation with you.

Damage Control:

At this point it might be a lost cause but you could still press on if you wanted to. You don't care.. I repeat.. you don't care whether she likes you or not and you have to convey this. Don't ever.. talk about her. Beautiful women online are already on a pedestal from all the ridiculous comments guys give them non-stop. Try to read her profile information a bit into things she likes and associate yourself with them and display some high value.

Maybe she likes puppies? Tell her about the time you used to volunteer at a shelter.. obviously that's a bad example but you get my drift. It sounds like you're just furthering her "I'm hot and every guy wants me" ego that women have online because of the massive amounts of e-mails/messages they get.

When I say massive... I mean it.. I'm serious.. ask to look at a girls dating profile inbox if you don't believe me.


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 04, 2010 7:39 am 
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Great advice DotsnHots.

I don't care what anyone says,but I believe that 1 line replies(ok,yep,no,mybe,sure)means the target isn't interested.

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PostPosted: Thu Mar 04, 2010 1:07 pm 
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Quote:
Great advice DotsnHots.

I don't care what anyone says,but I believe that 1 line replies(ok,yep,no,mybe,sure)means the target isn't interested.
I think they could be shy or simply uncomfortable using that media. I listened to some audio about online dating and there was one important observation made - a lot of girls join dating sites and simply get overwhelmed or scared off - and then do NOTHING

I think the task with short replies is to work out if they are either bored but not really interested, or playing games, or shy but interested or poor conversationalists.

For me only the 3rd and 4th options are any good. Give them the option to expand and/or move it from the media - if they stall well they're unlikely to meet in real life imho and experience.


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 04, 2010 1:55 pm 
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K-loc is right in this case listen to him..
what are you doing trying to get girls online. who care's what she thinks or how she replies.. she's a chick on a computer.. . there's plenty of girls in your city that want to get f'd as we speak... i once had to live in a super conservative middle eastern country for six months where "free sex is impossible to find.. be thankful that you live in a western liberal country where women are considered human beings with needs and get off that computer and make some moves with REAL LIFE women.. screw that loser virtual garbage... girls that go for guys they meet online are bigger losers than guys that go for girls online.. u don't want any of that..

i want to do you the biggest favor of your life and tell you exactly what you should do... message her and be like " you seem alright, i would like u to come out with me somewhere friday night ." Yes=sex, no=never speak to her again (or in your case do a facebook search for another target.lol)..


Last edited by loyalknicksfan on Thu Mar 04, 2010 2:57 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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PostPosted: Thu Mar 04, 2010 2:21 pm 
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Well i have similar situation but it mostly depends on a girls mood... For example if she was last night like "yes", "no", "dunno" and similar answers... not interested in conversation then i dont message her 2-3-4 days because i know she will message me back when she will be in mood to talk.

Sometimes she is in mood to talk and we can talk whole day, sometimes shes not... It is something you must get used to it in woman generaly and those things must not make you angry etc... It's just this is the way they are. As sooner you accept it, better for you ;).

A way to change her answers is to ask her questions on which is impossible to give short answer... hypotethical questions, when she has to comment, in short when she needs to think about her answer.


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 10, 2010 7:15 pm 
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I honestly don't like talking to a girl online if I can. Occaisionally on Facebook I'll see a girl I'm interested in online as well but I hold back from starting a chat simply because it feels too sterile to me, but thats more with girls I've met in person. I just like looking into their eyes and the stuff you can do in person.

Having said that, a mate of mine has a girl asking him out over msn and I managed to get a Dutch girl VERY interested via msn, even pretty much forcing her number on me 'cause she wanted to talk to me. Sadly it ended badly, long story.


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