it's not terribly bad but i broke up with my girlfriend 2 months ago. not a big deal. we dated for a year though. now every girl that i've gone on a date with or picked up i try to compare to her. what and why do i do this? is it because i havent slept with anyone? i need help please

Dude, fact of the matter is you aren't over your ex-gf yet. It sounds like you are still on the rebound. While dating other girls, you need to remind yourself WHY you broke up with your gf in the first place and just press on.

But good for you that you are dating other woman.

Sleeping with someone will only boost your ego momentarily but will not kill the pain so to speak, unless it is with a girl you really care about.

Just keep on dating and eventually you will get over your ex-gf. Time will only tell.

Best,

J-Dub

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J-Dub in DC

Its better to be the predator than the prey.

You need to be a good player if your gonna be successful at the game.

a friend of mine said that the reason i feel this isbecause...i havent found anyone like her yet, that beats her. true or falsE?

This depends. Was your ex the perfect girlfriend and the woman of your dreams? In that case - True.

Otherwise, you just need to broaden your views and seek the fine qualities of all the other women in the world. Remember, the comfort phase is where you're getting to know the woman.

Make sure you game a lot of women and sprint to the comfort phase as quickly as possible to find a woman to replace your ex with. Somebody new. Somebody that you will like more. Somebody that will accept you for who you are - and not let go of you.

That is the woman you want in your life. Not your ex. Consider this strongly.

Best of luck,

Zentrode.

honestly i was always told when you pick that girl you want for life...to look at everything else in that girls life not just her. her parents definitly spoke bad english they're straight from portugal living in toronto. so obivously family compaitability wasn't there (big thing i look for in my family especailly because my family is the only thing i have). as well she wanted to get married and move in from the sounds of things and im only 19...and we didnt even date a year. there we times we'd have sex that i wus scared shed stop taking her BC. she was awesome great personaltity funny, cute, smart, relaxed, a female version of me. but those 2 little things is what bugged me. plus she never had anything pushing her in life she just "went with the flow" i want a girl who knows what she wants in life and wants to be successful. call me picky but it's waht i wanted. plus so much more. and im so young i want to experience things before i get tied down. but it's just everygirl italk to or hang out with and compare them to her. urghh im f***ing screwed!

here's what I do

Get out a piece of paper, and write down everything that was great about this relationship as well as everything that was bad or that I'm angry about.

Once that is down. Go through each thing and just let it go, as in for me, I'll feel an emotion come up and I just kind of let it go. Lots of techniques for this. I simply just feel where it is in my body, take a deep breath and then exhale and imagine it leaving my body.

Once all that is done, then I'm more at a neutral level, I know there might be some still there and you may have to do this for a few days, but it doesnt take forever.

Anyway after I let go on both the positive and the negative events from the relationship so I'm at least more neutral to it than I was before.

Simply ask yourself some questions like this, can I just put this in the past and move on? and can I just let myself forget about this person? and can I be ok with her forgetting about me? things of that nature. May find some resistence here, if so, just have to let it go.

I know this is some weird work, but it has to do with emotions and emotions are our links to the subconsious, when we let go of emotions, well it's like we're uninstalling those bonds and those past beliefs or something. Hard to explain in a short sentence, but super huge and I find it to be super valuable.

By the way a lot of my beliefs are influenced by lester levingson and larry crane, just putting that out there so people don't think i'm copying someone elses work or acting like i made this stuff up myself. i was influenced a lot by there ideas

I think I understand where you're coming from. You probably miss the qualities your ex girlfriend have but doesn't necessarily mean you want her back. Those qualities are what you look for your next target. well, what I can advise is, get to know new prospects and date them but don't expect everything to turn out the way you want it to be right away. Of course you have to collect and select. Don't be in a rush.

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