Hey guys.
This post is going to handle the problem we're all, at some point, are dealing with:
JEALOUSY!
We can't say excatly why we are feeling this way, we can't say why it makes us react and respond unnormal and makes us feeling insecure, but we all know:
it's a problem!
This post will give you a few "good-to-keep-in-mind"-tips when you end up in jealousy-situations!

Allright.
The first thing we know is, that when we show jealousy we are showing insecureness - and therefor endning up AFC.

Example:
You'r girlfriend tells you that she met her ex-boyfriend at the street the other day, and they planned to grab some coffee tomorrow.

If you care about this girl, you will immideatly feel a bit anger.
They have a present relationsship, he was there before you. It's no fun!
In this situation you can respond with ALOT of different things:
You can be mad at her, you can be sad, you can demand her not seeing him, you can ignore it, you can gladly regard it - you can do alot of stuff here, BUT, keep this in mind:
You'r GF knows that it is unrespectful! So in a way she is testing you!
Think about it:
99% of all breakups is about people who do not find each other interesting anymore.
So why should she suddenly thinks that he is interesting?
If you reacting at some point to this man, he will automaticly become interesting.
SO, the best thing to do here: TURN THE SITUATION AROUND!

She says to you:
"I met my ex yesterday. We are going to a café tomorrow to hang out".

The wrong answers:
"You can't go", "Why are you doing this to me?", "I don't like that guy", "I don't understand you", "oh, that's so nice!" "OK".

The right answer:
"How do you feel about that?"

Her:
"I'm OK with it. But I know that you don't regard it?".

And here it gets important!
ALWAYS remember NOT to talk about yourself in this situation!
AVOID BEING THE VICTIM!
YOU ARE THE MAN!
WHY SHOULD IT BOTHER YOU AT ALL?
YOU HAVE EVERYTHING UNDER CONTROL!
IT IS HER THAT'S THE VICTIM - STILL SEEING HER EX? WTF! GET OVER IT!

You:
"Babe, please (be a bit cocky). I trust you."

Aaand, swift subject!

When you say something like that, you are showing the ultimate secureness!
You have EVERYTHING under control!
It is her that should be afraid of loosing you.
She will still see him the next day, but instead of feeling that she is doing something dangerous, something forbidden and interesting, she will feel like she is wasting a bit of her time, and she will be bored, just waiting for you to call.

So the few tips is following:

-AVOID TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF
-AVOID BEING THE VICTIM
-DO SOMETHING WHEN SHE IS WITH HIM (HANG OUT WITH SOME FRIENDS, HAVE FUN)
-ACCEPT THE SITUATION!
-TRUST HER - AND LET HER KNOW THAT YOU'LL DO!
-MAKE HER BEING ALL OVER YOU BEFORE SHE SHALL SEE HIM!


I hope this have helped some of you to get over the jealousy-situation, where you endning up being AFC.
I have struggled alot with it by myself.

The topic is open for discussion - you are welcome to mark you'r opinion or share routines/situations.

Regards,
LA

also she will like and be confused that you took it like a man.. also her friends will like it, if she says she has a jelous boyfriend to her friends, they will trash ur ass and talk bad about you..

also like she said, she will only feel bad about it and will only think about you.. she will, at least to some extend, never think about cheating you and she will always say to you whete she is going and with whom.. which i think its the greatest advantage...

if she gets jealous about you.. which she will. you ate the best she's ever meet..tell her it's unattractive and it's annoying...though please dont giver her reason to be jealous.. telling u went with her and her and met her.. that, to me, is low value

thats my two cents..,

Edit: i kinda agree with the two beneath me...

You should only act like i said here, if she is going to the disco or something.. or going to the cinema with a bunch of friends where there are some male friends

OR let her have coffee with a normal friend.. who is not an ex..

I agree you shouldn't let her go out with an ex...

Sorry LA, i dont completely agree with your post.

Heres why:
DISrespectful.

haha, nah but in all seriousness:
Distance, disagreements, cheating on oneanother, found someone better etc.
Also, i dont believe that reacting to the guy will make him interesting. It will just make her talk about how stupid you are for reacting when shes having coffee with her ex

Assess the situation i suggest. A very possible reason why the girl might want to see her ex: simply to catch up. Couples usually are friends at the start before they start dating and when broken up have much to catch up on. I find myself talking to my exes on the phone or randomly seeing them then having coffee occasionally. If your relationship with that girl is smooth at that time, theres no need to worry i think.

Also, in assessing the situation, you need to take into consideration how the relationship ended. If your girl broke it off, alls well. But it could be that the guy ended it. This is a very broad topic so i will not advise on what i think guys should do

If she tells you shes going to see her ex then asks you how you feel, you should respond positively. If shes asking you how you feel, shes concerned if your okay or not about the situation

-------------------------------

All in all, i dont believe coffee with the ex is such a significant thing. Of course were going to feel uneasy, handing her over to someone whom made her happy in the past. But we need to realise, were up on the exbf. We currently HAVE the girl they once had right?

Relationships are based on trust, both people in the relationship should know not to fuck with it =)

When a gf did something similar to me sometime ago I asked if I could have lunch with an ex that I KNOW she hated...subject over...she canceled the meeting with her ex-bf. I turned it around on her and she had to give me the response without me showing any signs of emotion.

But I do agree with some responses here. You never really get over an ex, you always will have that skeleton in the closet no matter how happy you are with your new gf, and why should it be any different with your gf's ex-bf? It gets even more complicated when everyone was friends with everyelse in a group situation...a whole new set of drama.

Generally, some level of jealously can be attractive to woman and is healthy, it shows that you care. But too much jealously is a sure sign of insecurity, unless your jealously is legitimate (like you know our gf cheated on her ex with you while she dated him, etc.).

And I can tell you from experience, the most jealous people I have seen are girls, not guys...bar none...

Best,

J-Dub

_________________
J-Dub in DC

Its better to be the predator than the prey.

You need to be a good player if your gonna be successful at the game.