3Sum with a dog



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 Post subject: 3Sum with a dog
PostPosted: Mon Dec 07, 2009 3:36 am 
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Fun Night. Started off on a boot camp and ended with a bang. Later in the night I stopped by my friend’s party. We stayed for about 15 minutes, and then hit up some bars in the area. I always approach the first group of girls I see. The first group of girls happened to be two fatties.

I said something stupid, kept them going, and then started rubbing the girls pussy outside her jeans, while she was texing. She didn’t even notice. I was laughing my ass off. My two friends came over and I left to talk to some cute girls. I spotted 2 hotties by the bar, approached calling them “munchkins”, and then just had fun. I told them I was going to the party later and I’ll text them and bring them along.

Went to a different bar and there wasn’t much going on except two cougars. I walked up to one hugging her saying, “Alli! It’s so good to see you!” She hugged me and told me she wasn’t Alli. (I was just fucking with her) Then I told her, “Oh, my friend Alli is a bottle server at xx club. I only see her when the lights are dim. You look just like her. Well now that we know each other I guess we should talk.”

She was into me and loving it, while her drunk friend kept calling me a retard, etc. I kept ignoring her and talking to my girl. The friend was wasted. She grabbed me and told me she was going to slice my throat if I didn’t leave. I laughed and said see ya.

I texted the girls I met, took them out of the bar, and brought them back to the party. I fingered and made out with the hot one, then she played flip cup and got wasted so I left and went to Soundbar for a few. I got bored and decided to walk home. My room mate texted me saying he had some girl over, so I decided to let him do his thing.

There is a strip of bars 2 blocks from my house, so I stopped by. I was going to go up to every girl and say, “Hi, I like blue”, and make it work until I got laid. First girls I saw I talked to for 15 minutes, it was going nowhere, so I told her we were going to go fuck in the bathroom. I pulled her away, she got weirded out, so I left and went to the next girl. Boom. Tall blonde chick. I grabbed her hand and sat her down. We were going to play the question game. First question, “Trojan or Durex.” She offered to buy me a drink, so I let her buy me a water. (I don’t drink) I didn’t really care, so I said, “Let’s get the fuck out of here.” I don’t really feel like posting specifics, but it gets interesting.

While driving back to her place in my car she is hijacking my radio and singing 80’s hits and Soul Train legends at the top of her lungs. We get back to her place and the neighborhood is shady as fuck. There is a “rape” van parked in front of me with 2 fat guys sleeping in it. I thought my shit was going to get jacked, so I decided to make it as quick as possible.

Awesome apartment. I walk in and get raped by her little purse dog. I tell her to give me the tour of the apartment, and when we walk by the first bedroom I try to yank her into it. Turns out it’s her room mate’s room and she’s sleeping. Lights were off. We get to her room, I throw her down, and start to finger her and she resists. She said, “I want to fuck the shit out of you, but I’m on my period.” I ask if it’s messy and she says no, so she goes and takes her tampon out. Haha fuck it. When she comes back her little dog has taken a huge dump, half the size of it, on her hardwood floor. She gets pissed, grabs a bunch of napkins, and picks it up. I walk over and listen in on the bathroom door to make sure she washes her hands. There’s no way I’m touching her if she doesn’t.

I hear the water go on for 2 seconds, but no soap. I’m freaking out thinking she just did a courtesy rinse. I’m already looking for my pants to put back on, when I hear the soap. Ok cool, I can stay. We go at it, she cums four times, wakes her room mate up, who proceeds to tell us to, “Shut the fuck up”, through the wall. As I’m about to cum I feel something on my right elbow. It’s her fucking dog, and it’s licking me. I’m about to blow a load and all I can focus on is this dog’s tongue on my arm. I stop and push him off the bed into a pile of clothes, he barks his ass off, and I finish.

I don’t like this cock blocking dog. I go into the bathroom to clean my dick off (Hate the smell of latex), and I dry it off on the dogs sweater. I hope he goes crazy.

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PostPosted: Mon Dec 07, 2009 4:09 am 
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ROFL SICK LAY


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PostPosted: Mon Dec 07, 2009 11:41 am 
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LMFAO!


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PostPosted: Mon Dec 07, 2009 2:24 pm 
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awesome xD


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PostPosted: Mon Dec 07, 2009 5:01 pm 
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hahahaha funny as hell!

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PostPosted: Thu Dec 10, 2009 1:39 pm 
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40 year old virgin?

oh.

except you pushed the dog off..


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 10, 2009 4:52 pm 
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Awesome story! I hope you don't mind I tell it again :)


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PostPosted: Mon Dec 21, 2009 12:20 am 
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Oh wow, haha, THIS is the reason why we got into pickup! Great story man!

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 Post subject: HAHAHAHAA
PostPosted: Tue Dec 22, 2009 4:12 pm 
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funniest story ever

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 Post subject: Re: 3Sum with a dog
PostPosted: Tue Dec 22, 2009 6:46 pm 
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Quote:
I don’t like this cock blocking dog. I go into the bathroom to clean my dick off (Hate the smell of latex), and I dry it off on the dogs sweater. I hope he goes crazy.
You got doggystyled! Nothing better then the dogmog!

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PostPosted: Tue Dec 29, 2009 3:49 pm 
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LMAO, funny story. Sometimes being direct is the best way to go. "Durex or Trojan?!?"

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Mar 08, 2010 10:05 am 
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"Durex or Trojan?!?"
:P greatest story ever
LOL


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Jan 28, 2011 11:10 am 
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Haha trojan or durex...I forgot about that line. Gotta break it out again.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Jan 28, 2011 7:25 pm 
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HAHAHA that is awesome. I dont often laugh at lay reports but that is funny.


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