I don't know to where I can go with this girl that I like (not one-itis), but I hope someone can offer me some useful advice here.

She is an American girl from a small town in AZ and I'm an international student. We took an Econ Stat class together in university. It wasn't until November that I officially introduced myself to her. I actually opened her by writing her a piece of note in class saying that this class is boring and we should play some Tic-Tac-Toe. Then we chatted a bit on the note about random Economics stuff. Then I introduced a more difficult version of Tic-Tac-Toe to play with her and I beat her easily. She didn't enjoy losing so she called me a "jerk" with a smiley, more like in a fun way. I negged her after class and then got her number from there. Since she loved economics so much, I time-bridged when I got her number to tell her that she should go to the Econ club meeting with me later that night. She didn't go, saying she was busy studying and stuff... etc.

The next few weeks we bantered back and forth in class and during texting. One night during texting she told me that she just got out a really really bad relationship from text so if she's rude to me in her words, then it's not my fault.

Time flied by, the semester was almost over and I still haven't been able to go out with her yet even though she owes me a cup of coffee on a betting game through texting. I called her twice (with the intention of inviting her to join me on one of my activities, well, to set up a date) but she never picked up the phone. She always said that "I'm in a grouchy mood and don't want to talk." Now she is back at her hometown and I'm still at the university and won't see her until next semester starts.

Then last night came with a surprise when she finally told me her real story. We chatted on Facebook. She said she has a story to tell me. Here is my summarized version of her story: After the end of her freshman year (6-7 months ago), she returned to her hometown and applied for a job at her father's hospital. There she met a guy who also worked there. Then some chemistry happened and they fell in love. Everything was going smoothly until one day she discovered that that guy was addicted to cocaine. Then it all went downhill from there. She was very disappointed and she has lost trust in boys since then. So she is not into a serious relationship anymore and then she said "that sort of includes you, too." (she was referring to me)

So what should I do now, guys? Should I drop her and move on? Or should I keep interacting with her during this break to build more comfort and trust so that when she returns, she can go out with me? If so, what is the best way to build comfort during this time, Facebook chat, phone call, or text message? I only feel that through phone call can my messages not be misinterpreted.

Thanks, guys! Sorry for the long message. I tried to make it short, but... obviously I failed.

The fact that she's telling you all of this a good sign. It means she is obviously interested in you. I say stick with it.

As far as the ex-boyfriend is concerned, their issues are between them and does not involve you. Don't let her convince you that you need to "earn" her trust because of this, or somehow you are responsible for saving or fixing her. Her baggage is her baggage. Be supportive of her, but make this very clear from the beginning, otherwise mr. exboyfriend becomes more important in your relationship.

~Antithesis

I'm not sure what sort of experience you have, but I have some good ammunition for situations like this.

I dated a girl for over 5 years starting at the end of high school. At the 4 year point, the relationship was super smooth and I was thinking about a proposal. Things began to unravel over the last year however; she had cheated on me and we had hoped to remain together while working it out. Eventually I could see her on her way to straying again so I was forced to dump her.

It was hell, for months. Then I realized I was partly responsible, and that I had taken her for granted. I realized I was not nearly social enough and that good social skills are a crucial life skill. I got out more, tried new things, and basically transformed my life.

A year or so later we returned to best friends status (she has a BF now and I have multiple partners, though I still think about her)

So when I hear a sad story from a girl, I tell her my sad story in return. The main point is to help her see if there is anything she could learn from her experience, but I also think its a good DHV. Women are usually impressed by the length of the relationship, the fact that my ex is now my best friend, and how I made the most of a bad situation.

Give her a little space but don't drop her. Her bitterness will soon fade away and when that happens, you'll get the score.

Make her feel comfortable in your company.

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Thanks, guys, for the helpful answers.

I just reinitiated contact with her yesterday on Facebook. I asked her to evaluate the nerdiness of my current profile pic on FB (kind of an opener). She gave me a "two-word" answer, but I digged in deeper on the topic (I told her the background story, that I was competing with my friend to see who will have the nerdiest profile pic on FB, and wondered if she could give any suggestions for being more nerdy on picture) and let's see what she says next. She's kind of a nerd (she reads tons of books) and an Honors student so I mentioned that "you are qualified to answer this..." in the first message.

I will tactfully invite her to a potluck party my friends and I are hosting this weekend. The reason I will give her is "we would like to have each person bring a new and unique face to the party so that we can be the most diverse and unique group" (most of my friends are international students and cook very well). "And I think that you'll be a refreshing element that'll stir up the group, if you behave " Do you guys think that this will be a sound reason and a friendly "challenge" for her to join my potluck party? Any better suggestions?