I have a really impressive job, that whenever I mention it always seems to get people's interest, and arouse their curiousity, big time. I'm very vague though, just because I like being mysterious and I have a lot of fun with making her try and work it out.

Read most replies; answers generally good however seem somewhat laboured. I liked "pirate", its simple, funny, a good link to futher topics and a great hook, pun not intended.

I'm an inflatable fortress distribution engineer (if confused look) you know the bouncy castles for tykes? - I fix those
it may not pay as much as a (insert what she does) or I say doctor or a lawyer, but when I see those kids faces just light up with joy - THAT is what I call job satisfaction.

Usually they ACTUALLY think I do that. I had one go so far as try to get me to book one for her cousins birthday party.

I use janitor or garbage man. Since I am always wearing a suit and tie it works great.

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Evil will always triumph over good, because good is dumb.

Im a bank robber.. yeah you know those little knickknack toys they sell at the gas station counters? I collect those, all of them. Its an expensive habit, hence all the bank-robbing.. Wierdest thing... the whole damn collection habit started up when I used to rob gas stations and 7-11s...

I design the patterns they stamp onto the butts of My Little Ponies... (break right into the my little pony routine)

I used to be a Pirate, but that bastard Johnny Depp put me out of business. Who likes that guy, anyways?? (Omg they will now talk for twenty minutes, try to keep up..)

I was a rocket scientist, but I got bored and now Im into biomechanical molecular engineering... (I keep it really cocky funny so they think im joking, which impresses them all the more when/if they find out they I went from Engineering/Physics to a Nanotechnology degree)

I like the guessing game, Ive had them guess before, but I never thought to just lead them towards some super sexy job they pick themselves. Definitely going to try that out next time, thanks! =)

"i play for the alaskan underwater polo team" - worked before and i really just dont know why.. what the hell is underwater polo? and why would you be swimming in alaska?

Musician...

I normally just ask them what they think I do for a living or I tell them I make two headed pennies.

I work part time at a hospital so i just say im a doctor which is funny me being at the age of 19 so i can play on it from there

I actually used to be a dishwasher at Panera Bread...

Good stuff. I really like the idea of making them guess then teasing em about it plus the dolphine shaver one is absolutely helarious.

Try to find a positive and interesting in your job rather than just stating what it is you do.

Don't say: I'm an investment banker.

Say: I'm involved in buying and selling companies.

Don't Say: I'm a Gamestop employee

Say: I help valued customers find the products that best fit them, while at the same time describing market trends that they can benefit from. (Really, you're trying to say that you tell nerds where the new Final Fantasy is and then tell them that there is a sequel coming out in a couple months. But, what I suggest sounds a lot better)

So you're a 48 year old hospital receptionist?

No, you say: "I facilitate medical SPAM at one of the leading hospitals in the area." The dumb blonds thinks, "doctor".

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"I have only one counsel for you - be master."

Ya, not to mention it's more impressive than saying "salesman".

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"I have only one counsel for you - be master."

I'm a clothes designer I mostly create men's business suits but right now I'm thinking about getting into girls pants.

how about saying something thats naturally occuring like:

i'm the guy who bends bananas

or i paint stripes on tigers

or even better, i put pots of honey at the end of rainbows

I thought of this one alot of time to here are a couple that I used and gone this way

HB: What do you do for a living
Me: I am a Trash collector
HB: You mean a Garbage man
Me: No like I said I collect trash

And I thought about this one as well

HB: What do you do for a living
Me:I pack parachutes for skydrivers. Havent used it yet just thought it was funny

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Just Like Chess I know the Rules-- And I bet I Checkmate her in like 4 moves--Trey Songz
Not Every girl is going to be instantly attracted to you it is what you do that makes them attracted to you.