Ok people I need your help here - this has got to be the most difficult thing I have ever had to do!

In a nutshell my 8+ years relationship is coming to an end, and alas it is me that will be bringing this about. The crazy thing is that through my 27 years on this planet, I have never ever had to do this before.

I live with my girlfriend whom I still care for, but I have feel like I am just living with a SPAM rather than partner and we both agree that we just tolerate one another most of the time. We have tried to address this but to no avail.

My question therefore is how the hell do you tell someone that you still care for that you don't want to be with them any more?

I hate hurting people and I know that this is going to come as a knife to her heart.

Guys/girls, even though there is no answer to this any positive encouragement is welcome. Although if anyone has a magic bullet lying around then please do share.

Cheers

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Keep it kicking!!

Osprey

Ll her exactly that, No pain no gain

Sorry I'm new to this. What does the term LI mean exactly?

typo sorry, it was meant to be Tell

you can try to repair you relationship...... believe me i have seen couples rising out of the dust, couples who suffered diseases or caught cheating etc....

but you already are deciding breaking up .....

8 years .... and youve never done this before .... first of all when you got a GF for 1 year breaking up isn't painfull for the one who's breaking up. also because he already processed the grief.

when you got 8 years .... there is no easy way .... you both will feel alot of pain.

i can't tell you what to do .. or what will happen... the only thing you can do is being honest to her and yourself.

I HAVE TO GIVE YOU ONE BIT OF ADVICE

you have tried to adress the problem

have you tried taking a break ? maybe you have to do a break for 2 or 4 weeks..... a temporary split....

il recommend you taking a break ( only if it's logical and financially possible of course )

you seem like you've already decided .... still ... it's better if you think a little bit longer about it.

il pray for you both, tonight ....

cheers

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AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
questions about herbal medicine here-vp582526.html#582526

This is so hard.
Its hard for you.
And Its hard for her.

I brooke up with my 3-year-girlfriend a couple of years ago.
And I had the hardest time knowing "what to say" and "howe to say it".
Somehowe I felt like I owed her a really good explanation..

I told her this:

"I dont know I want us to be together anymore. I love you so much, I really do.
And I've tried to figure out why I feel this way. But I just cant find the words.
I thought about this for a while and realised that if I dont know if I want us to be togehter, we shouldnt. When you're together with someone, you should know for sure that its right. And while being in doubt from time to time is perfectly normal, I've realised my confusion is the result of me not having the emotions I should have for you. Its really killing me to see you like this and I dont wanne make you sad, but I really have to be completly honest. "

You need to find your own words.

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Vino, vedi, vici.
I drank some wine, I saw her, I conquered

Same thing happened to me as did Energy. Lucky for me, she felt the same way. It sounds like your GF is on the same page as you. It's likely she's even having the same thoughts. If you haven't addressed fixing the problems like stated before, do that. Otherwise, I'd basically say what Energy said.

I always thought that it would be better to break a relationship off before you're married or have a family...basically, do the right thing now so you don't end up getting hitched to her our of convenience. Maybe even explain that to her.