Hey guys. For some reason i've always felt a need to NOT show cockiness.

I've always felt like i don't want others to sense/see I am anything but equal to all. It has always felt like if i walk into a store, head up..chest out ..arms swinging ..that i'd come off as "he thinks he's hot shit, must be an asshole".

But anyway. What are your mindsets when walking on a deserted sidewalk or a populated one? When are you at a party scoping out the girls? When you have opened a girl and talking to her? When you see a hot babe walking towards you..in your class and you catch eye contact? I'm curious. Thanks for reading.

I use WWTD (What would terminator do). I just picture myself with giant shoulders, huge V-Taper, tight ass and big legs. I'm Arnold Schwarzenegger, and I'm hot shit. That's me. Complete opposite of you apparently.

Ok, so then my question is. My assumption would be that people would think you come off like an asshole, if you are thinking in your head "i dont care what anyone else thinks". So in reality and "outside" my assumption, which quite possibly can be wrong, this actual attitude will be seen as a positive trait (socially). And when getting girls, it's about DHV and having people like to be around you.

I hope that make sense.

You're thinking about it all wrong. Its not a matter of "I don't give a shit what you think cause I'm better than everyone" it has to be "I know who I am and I am thrilled to just be able to be me and let you all be around me". Its similar, yes, but definitely not the same. You have to just be confident enough and happy enough with who you are, to not be bothered by what other people think of you if it is negative and not need to have people think well of you to be having a good time. If you are constantly relying on other people for validation, then you can't be a PUA, its impossible, because you are gonna be validating yourself to women and you need them to see you as being so self assured that they need to validate themselves to you.

The way I look at it, your confidence projects how successful you've been in life, and women use this as a natural tool to find out how you stack up against them. Personally I've found that my confidence is affected every time my ego takes a blow, or is stoked by a complement. Every time I'm called an asshole, cocky, arrogant etc. in a negative manner I feel worse about myself. Every time I'm called successful, confident or powerful in a positive manner I feel better about myself. It doesn't even seem to matter what a person says to me, just how they say it. So for example if a person calls me cocky but is looking up to me as they say it, I feel better about being cocky and my confidence gets a lift. I also see it in the world, that everyone who has been successful in their field is confident, and everyone who is following in the rear is twitchy and nervous.
So is being an asshole a problem? I say no, I'll even go so far as to say its a good thing, even if the girl hates assholes. Lets compare two people of equal confidence, one is a cocky asshole that you wouldn't want to be around normally, one is the guy you'd want as your best friend because you feel he would for sure help you out of a bind. The first example has all these negatives against him so his ego should have taken huge blows as a result, yet he still is as confident as the nice guy. The question I'd be asking as a chick would be; what good qualities does this guy have to balance out all the negatives and give him the same amount of confidence as this other guy who doesn't appear to have negatives. I think the same thing works for peacocking, a guy who can wear clothes that would get a lot of backlash and still be as confident as the guy wearing normal clothes must have many, many good qualities that balance out the criticisms he must be receiving. Let's face it, the girls aren't looking for one thing, they are looking for an overall picture, and confidence shows this to them. So being ugly, acting stupid, seeming cocky and arrogant don't matter as long as you have confidence that backs it up and hints at hidden good qualities the girls want to get to know you for.

There's a great article in the September issue of Esquire about "owning a room". Think of yourself as (how Borat puts it so eloquently in his documentary) "king of the castle".


Check it out.

_________________
Not respecting yourself is the same as committing suicide at a slow rate.