Long time reader, first time poster. I apologize for the long post, but I really need some input on this one.

I am in a bit of a emotional/psychological predicament with my relationship. I met my current girlfriend about a year and half ago. We lived together for most of our relationship, but due to extenuating circumstances, we were force to live quite far away from each other this past August.

Prior to then, I had most of the control in the relationship. She depended on my for everything, and honestly, I sometimes abused this. She cried frequently, but would always end up saying I was right and she was wrong. Despite me always asking her if I she was happy/if I should change/etc., she reassured me that all was fine and that she loved me.

So for the first month of our separation, I did not do a very good job of keeping in touch. We talked frequently, but I was rarely friendly and expressed unhappiness with the relationship. But one weekend about a month into it, I was extremely busy and did not call her. She called me and said she couldn't do this.

At first she phrased it as a break-up. Then she said she needed a break. All the while saying it wasn't me, but her. She needed to "grow" and become dependent. Fair enough. We agreed to disclose anything we did with other people. A week into our break, I asked her if she had done anything. She said no. Personally, I was relieved because I had been to emotionally leveled by the girl who was essentially obssessed with me calling it off that I was in no position to do anything with other women. It was not a break for me. So, two weeks in we got to see each other in person.

Then came the whopper - she told me she had made out with a guy 3 days into the break. She said she was drunk, regretted it, etc. She also said she felt she needed the break because I had treated her like shit for so long. Finally, she said that doing this reassured her that she loved me.

We've been together since. But here's the problem - I can't decide if I am alright with what happened. She took a drastic measure without ever letting me know anything was wrong, made out with another guy while I was still emotionally crippled, and then lied about it.

Every time I bring it up, she gets angry. But, I need to bring it up. I need to know that I can trust her, and honestly, I have no idea if I can in light of all this. Clearly, her calling it off, doing something so soon after the break, and then lying about it hurt immensely. On the other hand, she said it helped her realize how she felt.

What do you guys think? Am I a fool if I trust her? Should I take this as a sign and try to move on? I have never been so confused about how I feel.

Any input would be appreciated. Thanks in advance