I'm trying to overcome my general issues when it comes to approaching to women i'm attacted to.

The two main problems i encounter would be fumbling my words and generally locking up. And it always seems to be the start up with women i'm unfamiliar with.

This doesnt seem to be problem if i somewhat know the girl. I've gone kayaking with a girl i sort of worked with and met at a company party and had no problem with my confidence or word fumbling.

I have this problem too, it's shit!

pretend like she's not all that hot and just TRY NOT TO BE PHASED BY YOUR ATTRACTION TO HER. that's all i got for you sorry

I have this problem as well. If you find anything that works, please post.

Have you looked into Tylder Durden's RSD? It really helped me starting out, he spends a lot of time on the psychological state of mind that AFCs tend to have and gives some exercises and concepts to help get rid of them. You still need to go out and apply them and you will be kind of awkward until it clicks, but it worked wonders for me.

Now when I open, I'm just thinking of it as practice. I don't have a sexual agenda, I don't want her approval or validation, and I don't care if I never see her again. All that stuff IS in the back of my mind, but it is overshadowed by the mindset that this is just practice. As soon as the interaction is over, I evaluate what I did well and what I could have done better on. When something works, I make a note of it, but it's the failures that really teach me things.

I have the same problem. I noticed that i mix up words, talk with a strange fast low volume voice usually when i'm in the wrong mood (most of the day). When i get into a conversational mode, i become a totally different person (maybe i'm bi-polar?).

In that mode, i can start a conversation A LOT easier, i have more confidence and self esteem. The only problem is, it's kind of hard for me to get into this mode, so my advice to you (even though i'm a total AFC and a beginner) is, try to get into a conversational mode, talk to friends about whatever, talk to anyone you already feel comfortable with, it's better if it is a funny light conversation and not about the end of the world.

Another thing, Spairert, would you be kind enough to post a link to Tyler Durden's RSD? i have no idea what it is, but i want it!

Happens to me too sometimes, especially if the girl is REALLY hot. I think the reason why it only happens to girls you don't know is cause you're shy. Get used to meeting new people and this should happen less often. Also try to not give a shit what strangers think, cause honestly, you might never see them again anyways.

This is a problem that can be corrected 100% by simply practicing. Being that heavily phased by women shows lack of experience in talking to them. There's no other way around this than to just keep on approaching until your anxious response eventually wears down to nothing.

The reason this is happening is you are putting the womans value as greater than your own,Tyler Durden demonstrates this very well in his RSD (Real Social Dynamics) course.

To help you outflank this trickery in field,when you get an hour to yourself sit down and write down a description of your perfect woman,physically,mentally the full works.

Fold it up and keep it in your pocket whenever you go out sarging.It's a talisman.

Now if you happen to meet this woman give yourself full permission to lock up and fumble your words,and stand there gawping......

If however the woman is lacking in any way...pat the pocket with the note in it,smile to yourself and approach.

just go to the mall, and say hi to everyone, don't worry about picking up or getting numbers just initiate and ask people for directions and stuff like that

other good way to get over it is to apply to a bunch of jobs and go to job interviews, even if you don't want the job

i used to be like that also, but not anymore... since i worked on recreation in an hotel in spain... there i learned to smalltalk (i was pushed to do it by my boss ), and found out that you can basicly talk about anything with girls, like you do with friends... so just practice a lot with just saying hi, and some smalltalk, doesnt matter what kind of girl, a 2 or 10, just forget about seduction untill you can smalltalk with anyone. after you mastered that you can open easily and try to talk with a seduction frame
and most of the guys i know who have that problem have a value problem...
just don't overvalue girls... don't put them on a pedal, they are the same as you, you can talk about anything with them, except the things only guys are intrested in (like computer things).

i always open with a situational opener, then i just talk about wat comes to mind, and i push them gently to the subject i want ( i am mostly a speed seducionist) by telling them what i saw on tv, or something that happened to me once (try to make stories that DHV), use negs when you feel like it, but i don't need one most of the time, just be intresting!
and don't learn canned material but learn the theory behind them, so you can improvise your own things.

well i hope i have helped you out a bit! succes!

I'm no expert, but I understand what you are feeling. It use to happen to me. What eventually led me to stop my inability to talk to pretty girls is the realization that these are just people like me and you.Even if you are blown off the only person who is going to remember it is you, most likely she will forget the whole thing in 1-3 days. Just pretend that she is just another friend. If she is a total b**ch then screw her anyways.

I found a few things that helped me when I had AA.

1. Experience

I find this makes up 90% of what causes AA. If you haven't sarged before, or gone clubbing with the intent to pick up women, then you simply don't have past memories of when you were confident enough to approach women that you can remind yourself with. Whenever I get AA now, I just remember my last successful pick-up, and think how it wouldn't have happened if I wasn't confident enough to go up to them.

2. Flaws
I didn't actually write a note, but used the same idea.

3. The significance

Hot women are hit upon so often, that if you do even a mediocre approach, she'll have forgotten it within a day.

And what's the worst that could happen? You might have visions of her calling over her friends to laugh at you, or shrieking at you and calling you a freak, but unless you go up to her and call her a c***, I can 100% guarantee that the absolutely worst thing that could happen is that she might laugh about it with her friends an hour later.

And if you're at a club, or even approaching her on the street or something like that, what is the chance you'll ever meet her again?

4. She's just a person

That's it. She's not some sex god with magical powers. She's exactly like you, and is probably a little nervous around men as well. She doesn't have some abstract concept of what a conversation or flirtation is, in fact it's likely to be exactly the same as yours. Just imagine she's a female friend of yours, and the words should flow fine.

It would seem you lack the mindset to keep yourself confident. I do have a solution that helped me out very well a year back. Order "Paul Mckenna Self-Confidence" book. It comes with a 25 minute audio hypnosis by him that changes the programming of your unconscious mind making you more confident. This is probably the best answer I have.

_________________
"At the end of the day these are women's lives we're dealing with, not mere entertainment."

"We are what we repeatedly do. excellence therefore is a habit and not an act."

See if you can put yourself into situations where you have to make lots of conversation. Go to business networking meetings or fundraisers or other types of events where you will make lots of chit-chat type conversation with people. Just walk up and stick your hand out, introduce yourself and see what happens. This is the best way to overcome approach anxiety and locking up with you talk. Once you get into a natural conversational zone it's easy to talk to anyone, including HBs and esp. HBs if you've taken some of the above advice and taken her down a notch or two in your own head.