Back in august my girlfriend of damn near 4 years broke up with me. Now, we were planning long term stuff with eachother (house, marriage, kids, etc...) So, needless to say the brake up was hard for me.

Now, we're both moving on, though i still have feelings for her. What gets me is the guy she's with. When she started working at a new job towards the end of our relationship, there was a guy who was trying to get with her. Since day one, i always told her about how he's trying to be "That Guy" who's just the friend until we get into a fight and she'll run into his arms.

Now, i'm not mad that she's dating a new guy. Hell, i slept with another woman to try to move on, so i can't really say shit to her about dating somebody, but it's just THAT GUY!

I don't get it. Why does this bother me so much? What's keeping me attached to her and letting me get bothered by stuff like this? What the hell do i gotta do to get over this woman and just move on?

It's bothering you so much because you were still with her when she met this guy. And you knew he wanted her. You told her that he was waiting for you guys to have a fight so that she would run into his arms and this is what happened. You probably have the shits because even though you predicited it, you probably never thought (and definitely didnt hope) it would actually happen. She probably denied he wanted her or that anything would ever happen between them while you guys were together as well right? So therefore you feel like she has betrayed you a little.

You guys were together for 4 years- that a long time. Thats why you still rfeel an attachment to her.

As for getting over her, people will tell you to be with other girls in order to forget that one but it's not as easy as it sounds. When you care about someone very deeply, you always will but all you can do is wait. Time heals all wounds, including a broken heart. You will never forget her totally but the pain will subside. Just try and keep busy by doing things that you enjoy and hanging out with people who care about you. Trust me, I also learnt the hard way with my ex-boyfriend and trying to find a replacement only makes the pain worse. One day you will find the one and you will wonder why you were so hung up on this girl.

Being with a girl for four years is a long time which means you invested alot into her, into that relationship you guys had.

you invested emotion, money and time into this girl that is why ur attached and for a breakup and for her to go to some guy you knew was attracted to her brings jealousy which is natural of course just don't overreact to the situation.

Your mind and body is going through a process that hurts, the reason you are so bothered is because of that investment you had with her and she went to another male rival.

_________________
"Life is a Journey"

I see what you're saying. It definitely make more sense now. It makes me feel a lot better, but it still bothers me...

She's always been the kind of person who gets over stuff quickly. We spoke about 6 weeks after we broke up and she said that she really didn't miss me, or any of the things we did together. That hurt, but I can get over that.

What REALLY bothers me is the thought that the new guy she's with was part of her decision to leave me. I never thought that she would leave me for another guy, but seeing her pop up in pictures on facebook with the guy she worked with only 6 weeks after we broke up seemed a little coincidental...

I really hope that I'm just over thinking things...

Ive been in the same situation a few times now. The trick is not to think into it, don't analyze it, don't make assumptions with the limited facts that you have, just focus on yourself and the present time. And remember to make the most of the time that you are in the freedom zone because relationships are not easy. re-invest the time, the health, the money and the inner game back into yourself. you will come out on top and from the facts that Ive heard she will be just going around in circles with her ways.

sorry dude ... i slept with her to.

still she was with you when she slept with me ... im her second choice - and i accepted it. i can't get any better and she is ignorant.

second choice lol .... you shouldn't worry at all.

i know you feel like crap ..... hope you feel better soon
i have faced the same shit .... you will feel cheated .. bbecause you feel he was part in her decision making.
i have thought it over and over asking myself why.... i've found out that there isn't any reason to think about that .

it's a waste of time and energy to think and analyze it. however i will tell you a little story.


i had the same problem ... girl left me but before we broke up she was talking about one guy in particular. she was spending more time with her friends instead of me, and she lied about stuff or didn't pick up her phone when she was visiting him.

she broke up with me for no appearant reason .. she just said she didn't love me anymore which is lame because 2 days before she told me she loved me. we even had sex.
after a while i heard stuff and gossips and i put the parts together, i knew she was cheating but i didn't think about it.

i checked her facebook and all that stuff and saw replies of this guy .... i knew for sure she cheated. i was angry i felt misled i felt like i was rejected like a piece of garbage.
i seriously considered kicking both their asses.

but you know what .. girls who can't find what they want will never find what they want unil they change .
and girls who cheat and switch fast from relationships never will be a stable GF, you can happy with anyone if you really think you can be happy with anyone. If your inner game is good you can be happy with yourself , then you wouldn't be cheating or breaking up.
switching very fast from relationships IS never a good base, im always very cautious about girls doing that.

therefore i can say it's between her ears.

it's not your fault ... you aren't degraded from first choice to second choice , she didn't invest in your relationship because she found it easier to run away and hooking up with somebody else.
she will do it again.

he is her second choice.

and their relationship will be prone to end.... believe me .. my -ex-GF got dumped by this guy - she is fucked up and few days ago i saw her and she looks fat.... ewww.

also she could be considering the relationship already dead before you broke up, your perspective is way different.

it's kinda hard to explain but your better off witthout her.

anyway you are thinking about it all way too much, you shouldn't take it personal and you should stop thinking about it.
the more time you spend at it the worse it gets, you want to know whats happening because you still care about her in some way and that's normal. BUT who cares if she has cheating or if she has left you for that guy!

nothing change the fact that she did it ( if she did it ) nothing will change the fact how you feel about that.

if you could ask god how much time you got left , would you really ask that ?
would you live with the thought of fear you only have this particular amount of time - it will ruin the quality of life.

answers or no answers you have to make the best of your life, stop thinking for other people unless you got children with them.

get yourself a new GF and put those pics on your facebook.

btw don't look at her facebook ... just delete her.

_________________
AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
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agree 300% with the post above

And i emphasize the fact of eliminating every contact with her: facebook, phone number, msn, myspace all that shit. It will help you get over it so much faster. by looking at her profile on facebook you are investing time on her even after she dumped you this will get ya nowhere and will mess you up everytime you see that guy in a picture with her.

my two cents